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Filed under: Disorders, Psychiatry, Psychology, Sex, Sex Addiction, Tiger Woods

117 comments

I love hot chips. I can’t get enough. Sometimes I’m thinking about hot chips when I should be thinking about work. Sometimes I hide them so no one will know. I think I have a hot chip addiction.

Cartoon: Jos Valdman

Addictions are, apparently, the disorders du jour. And sex addiction is the latest hot item. Psychologists are warning that since Tiger Woods checked into a posh sex-addict clinic last year, the number of people coming clean with their addiction has surged.

So they’re turning up in their millions (seriously) to programs like Sex Addicts Anonymous. Which may sound like the most awesome pick-up joint you ever went to, but is in fact quite serious.

Flippancy aside (just for a little bit), it’s clear there are people who suffer from hyper-sexuality. People who masturbate a dozen times a day, who can’t function without nicking off too look at porn, who just cannot stop themselves finding numerous partners and having ridiculous amounts of risky yet unfulfilling sex.

But it’s also clear there’s a bunch of philanderers out there who are pretty chuffed to jump on Tiger Woods’ bandwagon and claim their out-of-control libido is a legitimate medical problem.

Psychologists and psychiatrists can’t agree. So sex addiction is in a strange in-between world where some consider it a problem unto itself, while others see it as a branch of obsessive compulsive disorder. Theories abound.

This uncertainty allows people – private clinics, Big Pharma, opportunists – to jump into the breach and push the idea that we have an epidemic of sex maniacs on our hands.

Some experts say 3 per cent of the population have a sex addiction. Others say it’s as much as 16 per cent.

When you look around at people promoting the idea – just ask Google – you end up at the websites of those private clinic operators… or ‘family associations’ who are anti-porn and can help you with your sex addiction. One I came across also offers ‘hope for homosexuals’. How nice.

Treatment for sex addiction range from the aforementioned Alcoholics Anonymous-type program (which naturally begs the question – to recover do you have to abstain forever?) to counselling to cognitive behavioural therapy to medication.

All of which I’m sure can help the legitimate cases.

But as with so many ‘new’ disorders’, the people set to make some dosh keep pushing the boundaries. So suddenly woman are dragging their cheating husbands in for treatment, men are realising “It’s OK!” to admit they’re sex addicts – and women are ‘finding the courage’ to declare themselves addicted.

It becomes a way to absolve yourself of your behaviour. Not my fault, babe, I’m an addict. What with all the celebs checking themselves in, it’s practically glamourous.

So the disorder is legitimised, which creates a market, which feeds the demand for its services by broadening the definition of the disorder.

And before you know it there are giant boldly coloured billboards advertising nasal sprays for your sex addiction.

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431Australia, you have nothing to fear but fear itself

390There's no one Thomson won't burn to save his skin

336Animal experiments won't cure me from cancer

313Thomson didn't answer the question everyone is asking

266Who murdered the Arts degree?

246A big day for Thomson, who thus far is guilty of nothing...

231South Australia. It's the middle bottom bit.

231Craig Thomson speaks. Meanwhile, in Australia...

117 comments

Show oldest | newest first

- Erick says:
  
  04:49am | 03/03/11
  
  In the future, everyone will have 15 personality disorders.
  
  Reply
Markus says:

08:17am | 03/03/11

Good on you for not taking such obvious bait as “It becomes a way to absolve yourself of your behaviour”. Nice try Tory!

You are spot on though, as it already happens enough nowadays. Being able to claim you suffer from some sort of mental/emotional crutch is a fashion accessory. It makes people feel they are unique, and stand out from the crowd.

The funny part is it makes people who have no glaring emotional deficiencies think that perhaps it is them who have something wrong with them. I remember I was basically outcast at a high school camp for not sharing my deepest darkest emotional insecurities with the group. The reason? I didn’t really have any!

And while all these people pat each other on the back for having the courage to admit they have a mental illness, all this does is help stigmatise people with REAL mental illness even further.
Reg says:

11:21am | 03/03/11

Markus; “The reason? I didn’t really have any!’ You don’t have ANY? Now there’s a problem, I understood that everyone was a bundle of insecurities allayed only by drink, prayer, sex, abstinence, work or old age.

At least you could have had the imagination to make something up. Something like the affair you’d had with one of your mate’s aunties. Or her dog. Silence could only mean you had something to hide and of course it would be MUCH worse than the worst of the others.

You aught to be ashamed of yourself.
Markus says:

12:41pm | 03/03/11

“Something like the affair you’d had with one of your mate’s aunties” I was a horny teen (the only part of that that’s changed is the teen part )
What part of banging my mate’s aunty would make me feel insecure? I’d have been telling everyone!
- S.L says:
  
  05:22am | 03/03/11
  
  I personally think if sex is constantly at the front of someones mind (male or female) they do have a problem. I also believe it’s a state of mind. When I separated with my now ex I tried to put a spin on the bright side in my mind “now I can do IT with whoever and whenever I want. The reality ofcourse is so much different. After acouple of “one nighters” I’ve just fallen back into my regular routine (but now sleeping alone).
  As for porn? It has it’s place as long as the “models” are over 18 but for me no thanks…......
  
  Reply
- Jugg says:
  
  06:19am | 03/03/11
  
  So Tory, are you announcing your addiction to fit in with the ‘cool kids’?
  
  Reply
Daily Magnet says:

12:01pm | 03/03/11

Which hot chips are your favourite Tory - beer battered(with aioli), chunky cut, wedges, jackets maybe? You don’t look like a hot chip has ever passed your lips, if it is any comfort - perhaps there is also a gym addiction to sex up your one paltry stand alone hot oily carby spud addiction?
- Ray says:
  
  06:27am | 03/03/11
  
  Look I hate to let out little secrets Tory.
  
  You say some studies believe 3% of people have a sex addiction.
  
  Well Tory the little secret is 48% of the population have a clinical sex addiction. It’s up to the other 52% to to get themselves in order.
  
  If everyone was addicted there would be no addiction because all would be addicted and therefore it would be normal. Hey it IS normal.
  
  If the 52% could drop their hang ups (cryptic hint for pants) more often and become addicted another world wide medical shortfall would be resolved.
  
  But hey, that’s like giving up someone’s bargaining chips without material gain. I fully understand.
  
  Reply
athomemumma says:

05:59pm | 03/03/11

if someone else could do the housework I would have more time to work on my sex addiction
Jugg says:

07:37pm | 03/03/11

Do it at the same time. Tape a mop head to your back, then lie on the kitchen floor…well…you get the idea!
- Posleh says:
  
  06:32am | 03/03/11
  
  True addictions can be medically and psychologically defined and treated. But most of these are excuses
  
  Reply
- Zac de Spudnut says:
  
  06:44am | 03/03/11
  
  But Richard Dawkin thinks men shouldn’t worry much about, they are just being Darwinian…...
  
  “I can show that from a Darwinian point of view there is more Darwinian advantage to a male in being promiscuous and a female being faithful, without saying that I therefore think human males are justified in being promiscuous and cheating on their wives. There is no logical connection between what is and what ought. . . .”
  
  Reply
Tim the Toolman says:

08:23am | 03/03/11

“But Richard Dawkin thinks men shouldn’t worry much about, they are just being Darwinian…...”

That’s exactly the opposite of what he said….

He said regardless of what is successful from an evolutionary perspective does not have any bearing on what one ought to do. Well done on using Dawkins to promote your point…even if it was in a confused and backwards way.
James1 says:

01:58pm | 03/03/11

Did you read that quote before offering your interpretation Zac?
Zac de Spudnut says:

04:27pm | 03/03/11

James1,

Ask Tory to post my interpretation. It certainly doesn’t have the F and C bombs. I am not sure what she is afraid off. I have tried a few times now. If she wouldn’t, don’t you worry i would certainly get a chance on some other democracy friendly blogs.
- Caro says:
  
  06:58am | 03/03/11
  
  LOL I love the final paragraph!!
  
  Reply
- Dark Horse says:
  
  07:04am | 03/03/11
  
  I have a sneaking suspicion that these types of behavioural modification programs are used by those who are so bored with everything else that they have nothing else to try.
  
  You don’t hear of people in broken down, poor countries worrying about their sex addiction when they spend most of their time trying to find a feed for the day.
  
  It’s good, hilarious publicity for some and for people like Tiger Woods, part of an excuse for getting caught.
  
  Reply
BobM says:

08:19am | 03/03/11

The more money you have, the more ‘addictions’ you can afford…..
Markus says:

08:34am | 03/03/11

Apparently Western nations have by far the highest levels of mental illness of any country.
And without trying to sound unsympathetic to those who have to live with it daily, I am starting to suspect the same thing for a lot of cases - that after thousands of years of being surrounded by high fatality rates and having to fight for food on a daily basis, the human mind is struggling to adapt to the comparatively safe and uneventful modern world.
Reg says:

11:42am | 03/03/11

@ Marcus; “Apparently Western nations have by far the highest levels of mental illness of any country.”

Perhaps what I’m about to write has more application to the “unintelligent” thread of yesterday because normal people are seen as dills by those with the problem.

It is imperative that people forget things, or choose to forget them when the stress level becomes too high. Witness the poor Russian guy who could never forgot anything. A wealth of totally useless information that ultimately killed him.

Survival for many is a matter of forgetting and moving on to the next problem. Those who can’t forget, move gradually into the zone of mental disorder. Forgetting is how I survived sexual abuse as a 12 year old.

Now look at those who make such abuse an unforgettable part of their life-experience. They carefully descend into obsession. Often moving from one obsession to another and living in fear of their own shadow. They never see the world as safe and uneventful when for most Aussies it actually IS.
BK says:

01:06pm | 03/03/11

Further to what Bob said, the few males have enough opportunities to have sex for it to turn into an addiction. If the rest of us had the option of having Tiger Woods’ sex life, many of us would find it hard to stop as well.
John Dark says:

05:59pm | 04/03/11

A mind with too much leisure time starts to invent things, and then invent more things to justify what it has invented. Sex addiction is right up there with AD(H)D, Aspergers and religion.
- Tutsmahbarreh says:
  
  07:14am | 03/03/11
  
  I would think you’d have greater problems than a sex addiction if you were playing with yourself a dozen times a day!!! I guess therein lies the problem. A sex addict I guess is someone whom spends the majority of the time thinking or taking part in some sort of sexual activity. But like everything else, if a famous person such as Tiger Woods has a sex addiction (and I don’t think he had a one quite frankly) then ofcourse you will get those that turn around and say, `I have a sex addiction too’ just because its trendy to do so.
  
  Reply
Alannah says:

02:51pm | 06/03/11

The only reason why Tiger called it SEX ADDICTION is he got cought. He had no intention in saying to his then wife “hey i’ve got a problem i’ve had sex with 33 other women”. If he didn’t get cought he’d be still at it today no addiction about that. People don’t want to take responsibility for there own action like Tiger they make some bogus crap to hide behind because they are to gutless to admitt the truth. Look at the truth, he had the world eating out of his hands, he didn’t think for one second he would get cought. Tiger bit off more then he could chew and let me say this GOOD ON ELIN FOR WALKING!!! It shows she was never there for the money but respect. I’m sure it didn’t say in their contract of marriage “I shall sleep with 33 women”
- Zeta says:
  
  07:14am | 03/03/11
  
  I read about this experiment once where they fit a bunch of mice with electrodes in their plesure centres to spur them into mating, so they’d be forcing them to have sex with other mice. They found that after 14 times with the same mouse, the mouse would just up and die from exhaustion. Now apparently the basic make up of a mouse’s reproductive system is the same as a human’s, so the assumption is that a person could only have sex 14 times in a row before expiring. But with the mice, they discovered if they introduced a new female after the 13th time, the mouse could just keep going and going.
  
  Actually, I don’t know if that experiment was real, or if I made it up a few years ago for a book I was writing about a dormitory of boarding school girls sent back in time to kill J.G Ballard and Ronald Regan. Anyway. Point is - you can’t get addicted to sex. You’re already hard wired to have a megaton of sex. Sure, not everyone is going to freebase some of Charlie Sheen’s pubes, start winning, and have all the sex, but even your basic dour librarian with the cats is going to need a whole lot of sex.
  
  People haven’t changed, society has changed. The expectations people place on each other have changed. It’s not acceptable for me, after I’ve had sex with my partner for the third time in a day, to confide in her that I could quiet happily have sex with three other people before the sun goes down.
  
  That’s the struggle that causes people to believe they’re sex addicts. They’re not sex addicts, they’re human. The biological imperitives we were born with haven’t caught up to the social structures we’ve built around ourselves. It’s like we’ve built a cage around our base urges. Man is born, naked, howling, covered in blood, we run through the night with the flesh of our enemies in our teeth and rut in the dirt with the everything we see, then we’re supposed to go out the same way we came in. We’re a rampaging, violent, planet-wide virus that eventually kills itself to extinction. You can’t build a cage big enough for that, so we built civilisations. And psychiatrists. And pharmaceutical companies. And schools, and eventually, a sex addiction, a drug addiction, personality disorders, a Black Iron Prison.
  
  Reply
Trentyn says:

08:05am | 03/03/11

Zeta raises an interesting point, and one I considered making. I thought about it for quite a while this morning actually, and now find myself with the following:

You cannot be addited to the essentials of life, oxygen for example, or you are ALWAYS addicted to the essentials. either way they are normal and therefore not disorders. in a world where the essentials are not actually essential, sex, TV in several countries is now also legislated as an essential, then addiction may or may not exist by the above or any other definition. the real problem is when it disrupts your ability to function within societal norms. this (a partial definition of OCD) could explain true cases of sexual disorder like the person who cant go a day with out masturbating hourly for example. so addicted to sex…. who cares, sexual disorder, very different question.

To relate it back to Tory’s column for a moment, being addicted to food… yeah arnt we all, being addicted to chips…. I gues thats like only ever wanting to do it missionary…? whats the problem with that?
BT says:

08:11am | 03/03/11

“We” did not build a cage for ourselves, Industrialists and Western religions did in order to force people into their socially engineered perpetual profit schemes. Many people have fought and died resisting those schemes over the centuries, millions in fact. It’s a little unfair to say that “we” did it, when all we are is living with what has been thrust upon us. The drive to survive is all we have left, freedom is not an option left to us anymore. We are kept in debt, under surveillance and under lock & key. That permanent state of servility drives people to repetitive, self destructive behaviour because “normal” drives are suppressed. Thus addictions arise in order to mentally escape. Celebrity status in my view is the ultimate prison. Constant monitoring of every movement and micro-management of even the most minor of biological functions would drive anyone insane.
But there is also the effects of abuse and neglect upon children that causes them to replay behaviours that were perpetrated upon them in an attempt to reconcile what happened. It’s remiss to suggest that all these people are simply wild animals unable to control their urges. They are in fact victims of serious crimes and deserve compassion and respect for being brave enough to admit what happened to them. Repetitive self-destructive behaviours are indicative of mental illness, it doesn’t matter whether or not it is sympomatic sexually or otherwise.
The Sandwich says:

08:22am | 03/03/11

lol… you should write poetry, or greeting cards.

Last paragraph is quite amusing, and sadly on the money.
Ray says:

08:33am | 03/03/11

14 times is an addiction. Bugger.
baal says:

09:28am | 03/03/11

I am promethean. Prostrate yourself to Zeus if you want but I am promethean not viral.
Also as someone who has suffered real hardcore blood piss and physical suffering mental illness I wish everyone who feels alittle sad or horny would shut up.
hardcore Mental illness is like cancer, without treatment it kills and maims. These trendy disorders are not in the same league
Shane From Melbourne says:

09:48am | 03/03/11

14 times in a row would be a hell of a way to go. At least you would die with a smile on your face….
hot tub political machine says:

10:31am | 03/03/11

In the words of Phillip J. Fry

“I never thought I’d die this way. But I always really hoped”
Reg says:

11:52am | 03/03/11

Ray; “14 times is an addiction. Bugger.”

Tell that to a baby cane-toad. That awful f word they exclaim is from the baby males as they are being buggered by the older males.

(Visions of cane toad on coach with bespectacled cane toad psychiatrist taking notes.)

This is awful, don’t tell Zac.
Ray says:

01:40pm | 03/03/11

Reg, - bloody Queenslander, you screw cane toads? Cockroaches as well I bet.
- Purrrrrr says:
  
  08:05am | 03/03/11
  
  Addicted to sex…its hard wired in the brain, its as basic an instinct to eating and breathing!
  
  Mutliple sex or the addiction thereof… is relevant to almost every Alpha male. There is no differance to the male Lion in his pride or a Golfing “tiger” !
  
  Reply
- Elphaba says:
  
  08:14am | 03/03/11
  
  I think it’s complete wank. Ridiculous. Tiger Woods should grow up.
  
  “Oh, I have too much money and too much fame, and I’m awesome at my sport, I can’t HANDLE it!!”
  
  Get a real problem, jackarse.
  
  Reply
Ray says:

09:53am | 03/03/11

Elphaba, who’s HANDLING it/who.

I just think women have to step up to the plate. 14 times is only an average day.

Seems you may be batting below average.

A bit of application and you can also develop a desired addiction. But the mind must be willing.

Women seem to want to help by breaking down the addiction of 48% of the population. Commendable. And they are mildly successful but it’s a bit like putting a finger in the dike (or dyke).

Now that I have wasted time I will have to ramp it up this arvo before the cricket starts. Although I am batting better than 14 at present without changing mices.
The Critic says:

10:23am | 03/03/11

..and of course no one seems to care that the dozen mistresses of Tiger knew he was married, had kids, yet slept with him anyway. No one has a bad word to say about them.
Elphaba says:

10:40am | 03/03/11

@Ray,

Nah, I have no desire to spend the rest of my life walking bow-legged.

@The Critic

I don’t recall any of those mistresses using a cop out excuse like “I am a sex addict”.

There’s no such thing as sex addiction, there are people just not built for monogamy. The sooner we start realising that monogamy is not the be-all end-all for some people, and that society should stop pressuring people into thinking the most noble thing they can do with their lives is get married and have kids, the sooner we can start focusing on real problems, not fake ones.
Wayne Kerr says:

10:59am | 03/03/11

I only have one problem with your post Elphaba.

“Jackarse”. The word is jackass which is another word for a donkey or mule (can’t remember which), it has nothing to do with the american spelling of bum.

Otherwise I completely agree with you
Ray says:

11:20am | 03/03/11

Elphaba, I rest my case. Then again if you need a referral keep my philanthropic ‘addiction’ in mind.
rufus says:

11:48am | 03/03/11

@Critic, you forgot to mention that the mistresses decided to go public with their Tiger tumbles in an attempt to parlay it into some sort of fame for themselves. Classy.
Elphaba says:

01:00pm | 03/03/11

@Wayne, true, it was the anti-American spelling in me taking over. My bad.

@Ray, in all seriousness, if I took you up you that offer I’d have no time to do anything else. And then I’d be bored, because I don’t like monotony.

Unless you’re proposing the 14 times a day only takes about 5 mins per time? Hardly seems worth it, at that rate…
Ray says:

01:37pm | 03/03/11

Elphaba, are you playing poker, because I’ll call your hand, and then promise it won’t be boring. Cancel all other appointments it’ll be longer than 5 mins. That’ll be your call as well.

I’ll get you battin’ like Babe Ruth.
Elphaba says:

02:24pm | 03/03/11

@Ray

*giggle* Funny stuff.
LauraBoBaura says:

02:58pm | 03/03/11

I can see ‘sex addiction’ becoming a standard infidelity excuse.. ‘Honey, I’m sorry I did the secretary, I have a problem. It has NOTHING to do with the fact that she’s 21, gorgeous & just broke up with her boyfriend. Frankly, you’ve let yourself go, oh shit, I mean… it’s my addiction!!”

Apparently Russel Brand has a sex addiction, probably due to the fact that he’s doing Katy Perry…
- Marek says:
  
  08:16am | 03/03/11
  
  I am opening a clinic for sex addicts. Nothing fancy but I can promise plenty of sex. Affordable fee structure ... oops that would make it a brothel. Ah, well, sex is for free than.
  
  Reply
Grumpy says:

09:30am | 03/03/11

Yea same, only for females though. Its like when your parents caught you smoking and made you smoke the whole deck, but im the packet. Free for a limited time.
Reg says:

12:16pm | 03/03/11

Can I claim it on MBF? Actually you should think about proclaiming it a religion, the returns are greater for less outlay.
- Tony of Poorakistan says:
  
  08:20am | 03/03/11
  
  This is like being addicted to vanilla ice-cream. A bit bland and boring, really.
  
  Reply
fairsfair says:

11:00am | 03/03/11

ice magic will rock your world Tony, try it.
Syl says:

12:05pm | 03/03/11

I think you might be doing it wrong….
Reg says:

12:29pm | 03/03/11

Even better Tony, Fred Meyer’s New York Cherry Cheesecake Ice Cream. Worth the air-fare.

The Australian market has NO idea what it’s missing. Why Philadelphia don’t even market their Cheescake filling by the ice-cream container here. The standard $3.50, in the US would have to be $15 by our prices. Even some of our exclusive ice-cream is about FOUR times the US price and half the quality. If it wasn’t so important I’d settle for sex.
Tony of Poorakistan says:

01:24pm | 03/03/11

@ fairsfair

As it happens, I have tried a bit of topping ...
John Dark says:

06:10pm | 04/03/11

Homer Hudson Chocolate Rock icecream for the WIN! Mmmmm ... endorphin rush ... feel the love ...
- Abe says:
  
  08:31am | 03/03/11
  
  I’d be happy to help out any ladies suffering under the weight of this terrible disorder.
  
  Especially really hot ones.
  
  Reply
- David says:
  
  08:52am | 03/03/11
  
  Zeta, you are a nut. We are not hardwired to have a lot of random sex. Some species are, but humans are not. Our kids need to much care for the mothers to be abandoned, so we are hard wired to fall in love and stay with one other person. This doesn’t stop you from having sex six times a day with your partner. I am sick of all these idiots claiming their bad behavior is justified by biology. Perhaps you should study biology before you comment.
  
  Reply
Grumpy says:

09:25am | 03/03/11

Crap, men and women are hardwired to mate with someone who is genetically gifted. Most people settle. Love is designed to keep people together long enough for the child to survive, about 5 years if that. So if you have the opportunity to do so, love or not, its likely that people will cheat.
Markus says:

09:39am | 03/03/11

Perhaps you should too.
Not being monogamous for a lifetime does not equal abandonment.
The alpha males in the tribe protected all the females. Protecting the mother and child is not mutually exclusive to continuing to breed with every other female in the tribe.
HappyCynic says:

09:55am | 03/03/11

@David

Having loads of random sex is not bad behaviour though, something fun can not be anything bad.

Pleasure is the only thing worth living for in life. The only limitation on fun is that no one should get hurt. So I’ll eat, drink and f**k until I don’t find any pleasure in it.

If you disagree then you’re the nut.
Ray says:

10:32am | 03/03/11

Happy Cynic, In corporate ‘corruption’ cirles the saying is ‘if you can’t eat it don’t take it’. I think inclusion of your can’t eat, drink OR f**k it has got real possibilities, with the thrill of added danger. Oh bugger it we’re into Tiger country again.
Sam says:

10:56am | 03/03/11

HC,

But when your eating, drinking and effing hurt someone (physically or emotionally) will you stop?

Very few things we do have effects that are isolated to ourselves, especially sex.
Sam says:

10:56am | 03/03/11

HC,

But when your eating, drinking and effing hurt someone (physically or emotionally) will you stop?

Very few things we do have effects that are isolated to ourselves, especially sex.
HappyCynic says:

01:42pm | 03/03/11

@Sam

You make it sound like my eat, drink and shag philosophy is inevitably going to hurt someone, I disagree, if one is attentive to other people and their needs, honest and generally respectful one can avoid this pitfall. My way of life is not wholly (or holy) selfish

Of course if they’re just some sanctimonious excuse for an a***hole who likes to find fault in everything they can take a long walk off a short cliff. But then these people, in my experience, have no respect for anyone elses opinions unless they match their own.
tren says:

02:39pm | 03/03/11

@david et al.

I dont know about you lot, but hardwired or not the thought of having to financially support children of more than one mother scares the cheating desire right out of me, I have 3 of my own with my wife and thats enough of a burden financially without alimony or whatever its local equivalent is.
- Grumpy says:
  
  09:00am | 03/03/11
  
  I dont know why people cant just say “temptation go the better of me”. Thats all it is, and its understandable. If youre a famous athlete it is probably not the best idea to get married under 40. I hate famous athletes, except Michael Jordan. Personally i don’t know how people do relationships, all that tongue biting and lying to yourself. Does anyone actually like each other, ive never liked anyone I’ve been with enough to not think about cheating. Maybe i’m a sex addict, so its not my fault if i do. Psychologists, “i just cant stop touching it” “You have sex addiction”. Creating sex addiction is like a licence for these people to print money, and anyone who buys it is more likely to be suffering from being incredibly gullible.
  
  Reply
Markus says:

09:42am | 03/03/11

Psychology is not a real science anyway. While the field is getting better, most of it is still guesswork.
I really don’t like the current trend, where in recent years it has gone from not acknowledging any mental illness, to trying to link all actions back to some sort of mental illness.
Grumpy says:

10:51am | 03/03/11

Psychology is a load of bullshit. they’re not doctors. They should be banned. Sex addiction proves theyve gone to far. Bunch of hacks.
Seanr says:

11:43am | 03/03/11

The first line says it all for me…exactly right. Just fess up and admit that you don’t have an addiction, you just wanted some action.
- AnthonyG says:
  
  09:19am | 03/03/11
  
  Zeta maybe if you could take your hand of it at some intervals during the day you might find there is other things you may find to do.
  
  Reply
- hot tub political machine says:
  
  10:05am | 03/03/11
  
  Enjoying sex isn’t a medical disorder. Enjoying entertainment isn’t a medical disorder. But these things can be quite destructive if self control is problematic.
  
  You can see people losing their jobs because of over indulgence in things that its normal to enjoy. If you want some help with that, by becoming accountable to a bunch of people at a Sex Addicts annonymous meeting - and your not going there on the pull - good on you. Most people are better at breaking habits when they do it together (pun irresistable - irresitable irresistable to put in an article about addiction)
  
  Reply
- Ray says:
  
  10:05am | 03/03/11
  
  The problem here is that societal standards are dictated by women.
  
  The real addiction is women not wanting to do it often enough. Men’s ‘addiction’ is the norm. Come on girls get in the game. Being addicted to saying ‘no’ is the real problem. Like the glass being half empty instead of half full. Like wanting rewards before the journey. Like leaving the toilet seat down - I like it up (but who got in first for the ‘norm’}. Like ....................
  oh bejeesus women are hard work
  
  Reply
Carz says:

12:08pm | 03/03/11

You have two hands. If you haven’t learnt to fix the problem yourself by now then you have real problems.
Ray says:

12:25pm | 03/03/11

Carz I like the challenge of hard work.. The delight is in the outcome. Problem? Not aware of one.

Note: As I said I bat around 14.
Paul Horn says:

04:11pm | 03/03/11

Yes Ray strange isn’t it? Women are addicted to fashion, weight loss and beautifying themselves far more than men are addicted to sex. Watch any female daytime show and count the seconds before another crappy diet regime screams out from the TV screen and assaults your intellect.

In fact one could term it a slavish and vacuous obsession . And for what? Western Women place an unbelievable emphasis on sexualising themselves yet supposedly have no interest in sexing, relating or emoting with their prey? Perhaps they are all competing for that tiny percentage of alpha males. Poor buggers must be worn out.
Wynston Cruso says:

04:21pm | 03/03/11

Pardon me for the upcoming vulgarity, but Ray, out of interest….. does that include “ghost loads’?
Sick of this Sterotyle says:

12:18pm | 04/03/11

Ha , Boy am I sick of this sterotype that men havea higher sex drive than women. Me and my numerous other female friends of the same age ( 20-26) are constantly complaing about partners not wanting to have sex enough or 2 minute men.
We were rasied to think men are sex crazed maniacs and its just not the case maybe men of Gen Y have lost interest in sex with young attractive women are are happy to bat away to porn as its easier.
- Ray says:
  
  10:12am | 03/03/11
  
  I might add that my philanthropic outlook denies me the right of refusal when some women wish to bat at a better average. Probably the less demanding of my civic duties, although my soul cleansing times of denial are…............well I’ll let you know.
  
  Reply
- Paul Horn says:
  
  10:32am | 03/03/11
  
  We live in a pornographically obsessed culture! Sex is nothing but a commodity pushed by 60’s libertarianism, progressive academe and the sick perverted media.
  
  Read any womans magazine and it could not be more blatantly obvious. Celebrity bodies, diet supplements, sexual positions and a liturgy of explicit acts all spewed out before you in intimate detail. Sex addiction is simply one manifestation of a decaying culture that has eaten it’s institutions, beliefs and moral structure.
  
  What are values today? Utterly absolutely nothing! Married? Who gives a fandango! Monogamous? What a bore! Get out of bed and work for a living every day? You must be stupid! No one gives a friggin stuff. Respect - don’t go there sister unless you famous for your bedroom antics, a sporting buffoon or a rather vicious criminal.
  
  Just the other day I was driving behind a bus with a huge poster of a woman splattered all over the rear. She was crouched down wearing barely nothing shorts with her hand on her crotch about to perform a rather intimate act of sexual gratification. Had she been wearing nothing it would have been less pornographic. Yet the elite tell me if I don’t want to be exposed to porn then don’t look. But how the Hell could I escape this unless I wanted to go straight into the rear of said bus!
  
  Sex addiction is not about excusing your behaviour unlike the litany of bogus mental health diseases we are assualted with today. It is about taking responsibility for your behaviour . It is about saying your behaviour is unacceptable, sincerely apologising to those you have deceived and getting help to become “cured” if that is the right word. I have been involved with sex addiction groups and many men are close to suicide, many are totally miserable and are battling in their lives to master an insidious compulsion. It is simply sad but with easy access to porn and the increasing alienation of people living in Western society the problem will only get worse.
  
  Again Ms Shepherd your progressive elitist attack shows your arrogance and disdain for moral issues.
  
  Reply
HappyCynic says:

11:34am | 03/03/11

@Paul Horn, what are you? A 100 year old virgin?

I’m not miserable and I’m a man who’s happily “addicted” to sex. Then again I get laid regularly, you should try it out sometime. As for vaules, overrated rubbish relegated to a bygone era. Oh and I work to support my hedonistic lifestyle

Also you’re the only “elitist” attacking people here
Paul Horn says:

01:08pm | 03/03/11

Congrats Happy Cynic more power to ya. However I am intrigued. Are you getting lots of sex with the same woman or lots of different women?

If it’s the latter that is not addiction that is simply great. However if by geting laid regularly you are really referring to a 13 hour a day porn addiction and a rather sore hand then I feel sorry for you - that you might term addiction.

And you are right about the values tripe. So why do womens magazines feel the need to dump on Shane Warne? What right do they have to judge his nightly activities? Who are they to set the moral fence posts?

Why when we market as the nirvana lots of easy casual sex do we then criticise folk mainly men who prefer to have lots of no strings sex?

Hypocritical you betcha? Just what is acceptable behaviour Happy Cynic?
Ben C says:

02:54pm | 03/03/11

@ Paul Horn

Care sharing with us what the poster was advertising? Must have been very effective if it caught your eye…
- Traxster says:
  
  11:12am | 03/03/11
  
  I am in my late sixties
  and I’m hoping to become addicted to sex at the earliest opportunity !!
  
  Reply
- Kerryn says:
  
  11:16am | 03/03/11
  
  I am happy to say that I have Aspergers Syndrome.
  
  I’m even more happy to say that I dealt with it. I am employed, in a stable relationship, have my own home, two adorable kittens and I am happy.
  
  How did I acheive all this? By taking responsibility for my “disorder” and working on it. There was no room for excuses-it was either wake up and smell the crap or become another welfare junkie.
  
  Don’t people realise that by trying to rid yourself of responsibility, you are robbing yourself of a very fulfilling life?
  
  I acknowledge that there are some people with disorders who are beyond help. But we’ve all got to at least try, or else what is the point?
  
  Reply
- Traxster says:
  
  11:17am | 03/03/11
  
  and anyway….what exactly is ...‘a ridiculous amount of sex’ ?
  I mean how much sex is too much sex ??
  
  Reply
stephen says:

04:02pm | 03/03/11

...when afterwards you want again to take up smoking…and you reach for a pipe.
- Ray says:
  
  11:30am | 03/03/11
  
  Paul, ‘litergy’ must have a similar meaning to ‘littany’ but hey you’re on the money with ‘master an insidious compulsion’. But I think ‘achieve’ rather than ‘master’ is the go. Stuff it I’m givin’ it my best shot.
  
  Clint Eastwood has said a man’s got to know his limitations. Well Eva Cox and Pru Goward are my limitations, even in moments of weakness. Joolia?, well it would have to be horribly dark. Nope I’ll take that back.
  
  Reply
rufus says:

11:41am | 03/03/11

So you’re implying that you could have any woman in Australia, but you wouldn’t have certain well-known women (who you’ll probably never meet anyway) because they don’t meet your standards.

Riiiight.
Ray says:

12:21pm | 03/03/11

No,no, no no, no Rufus. I’m implying I do not want to be involved in a horror movie in a support role. All yours. But a man has got to know his limitations (and self respect)- See below. But hey, If they rock your boat your boat has period float problems
rufus says:

12:53pm | 03/03/11

Well, Ray, let’s hope Eva and Pru don’t read this and then get a look at you to see what they’re missing out on. They might never recover from the disappointment.
- Ray says:
  
  11:38am | 03/03/11
  
  Well Joolia’s f**ked 21 million of us with a carbon tax. So what level of addiction does that place her in. She’s a repeat offender. Recidivist without cause or conscience. But ladies’ yur batting average has gone up
  
  Reply
DailyMagnet says:

12:25pm | 03/03/11

She’s a lawyer…so, umm…aren’t just stating the obvious?But to be fair to Jyoolya(peg on nose)

I really would prefer not to be lumped in with her because she’ll could have a negative impact on my perceived batting average and then she’ll start up a competitive website where she can keep tabs on me, comparing me against my peers, so that any man who is interested in me will be able to measure my performance against others and make a pre-performance based assessment of what I have to offer. Then she won’t update the stats when I improve my score… and then the website could malfunction and have privacy issues
- rufus says:
  
  11:39am | 03/03/11
  
  I’m addicted to surfing media blogs while at work. I’m not alone. The Punch survives on addicts like me.
  
  Reply
- Ray says:
  
  11:48am | 03/03/11
  
  Look I take that back. But Joolia has proven that women will screw you one way or another and barely miss a beat..
  
  Reply
- Ray says:
  
  12:45pm | 03/03/11
  
  for Carz above- Could you please enlighten us on ‘Carz’. Nice moniker.
  
  Is that Carz Park - spelled Cass Park
  Carz I can’t get it up (male)
  Carz I can’t get it at all(female), or
  Carzalabad - where they get very close to their horses.
  
  Just enquiring - horses are very faithful
  
  Reply
- Nick says:
  
  01:18pm | 03/03/11
  
  Approximately 50% of the world has a sex addiction, and its men. We have brains that have evolved to continually want to procreate for the survival of our species. Human brains still produce copious amounts of hormones that make us want to screw anything that moves, the fact is most men want to be adulterers but can’t get any woman they want into bed. Celebrities can, and thus get caught out more. I’m sure there is a minority of people who have an OCD like obsession but to the rest of you, just start thinking with your head rather than your phallus.
  
  Reply
- Bolz says:
  
  01:23pm | 03/03/11
  
  Can you be addicted to not having sex? I think I’m suffering from that disorder. Not by choice!
  
  Reply
stephen says:

03:28pm | 03/03/11

Mate if you’ve had yer ‘wheels’ taken off i think the ‘disabled’ post down the road is your hot-diddly.
- Zaf says:
  
  01:32pm | 03/03/11
  
  It’s only an addiction when it becomes a problem. Till then, a happy obsession.
  
  And what is with all the angry (straight)men?
  
  Reply
- stephen says:
  
  02:54pm | 03/03/11
  
  Hot chips is only an excuse to get yer supply of oil and salt.
  With sex, sometimes yer don’t always get what yer pay for, and I’d rather a cold chip than a ‘dim-sim’.
  
  Reply
- LauraBoBaura says:
  
  03:01pm | 03/03/11
  
  Sex addicts anonymous just sounds like a place for really horny people to meet other really horny people & .. well, ya know, do what really horny people do….
  
  Reply
stephen says:

03:22pm | 03/03/11

Lock horns ?
LauraBoBaura says:

04:01pm | 03/03/11

I was going to say talk about their addiction in a safe & blame free environment, what were you thinking.. ?
Ryan says:

04:20pm | 03/03/11

Scrabble?
- Reg says:
  
  05:17pm | 03/03/11
  
  @ Laura; ” I was going to say talk about their addiction in a safe & blame free environment, what were you thinking.. ?”
  
  As usual the best thing to do when you fail is to get to your feet and go again.
  
  Reply
- Matt says:
  
  05:39pm | 03/03/11
  
  How much is it advertised in todays everyday life? How often is it paraded on television? How often is it on billboards when your driving?
  
  Reply
- mmr 3 march 2011 says:
  
  07:49pm | 03/03/11
  
  the mass media is dominated by sex.It thinks of little else.
  if you always ignore sex, you will live well,live to a century, and save money.
  
  Reply
- Big Farmer says:
  
  09:55pm | 03/03/11
  
  The answer is simply. Just prescribe the Lexapr0. No sex life ever again, ever, ever, ever, ever…...job done!!
  
  Reply
- CHA says:
  
  06:07am | 04/03/11
  
  The more the merrier - as the saying goes it is the best fun you can have without laughing - so why not - better to wear out then rust out
  
  Punt high and follow on
  
  Reply
- get it write! says:
  
  09:21am | 04/03/11
  
  Wow. What a poorly written article. “there’s a bunch of philanderers ” Oh my goodness, “there ARE a bunch of philanderers” Are being the plural, is being the singular.
  “without nicking off too look at porn” did you really write “too” when you meant to write “to”????
  Starting sentences with “and”
  This is B grade journalism at best.
  
  Reply
Dick says:

03:14pm | 04/03/11

I’d argue it’s a single bunch of philanderers so the gramma is fine. And shouldn’t that be get it right?
Glass house dweller says:

04:18pm | 04/03/11

“Is” is the appropriate verb to address the object of this sentence, which is “bunch”, a singular noun.
Criticism of the errant “too” stands.
Starting sentences with a conjuction is not against any law of english.
- Tango says:
  
  11:03pm | 04/03/11
  
  I thought I was addicted to sex, but realised I was just horny all the time.
  
  Reply
- Fred says:
  
  09:17am | 06/03/11
  
  Addiction? Well if that’s what what having great sex is, I’m all for it.
  
  Yeah married but always have one or two younger gfs on the side. Has worked very well for me and my wife all round for many years and no apologies or regrets. Just like have several cars for each occasion. A standard family Holden is great to have and can’t do without, but occasionally you want to climb a mountain or experience a Ferrari…
  
  A guy under immense job and family pressure can become unbearable. A single woman simply can’t be expected to put up with angst or provide the retreat he sometimes needs. Having outside interests allows for the best of all worlds.
  
  If you’ve never done it, then say nothing. If you don’t like it, don’t do it. if you’re the overly jealous type, then see a shrink.
  
  Reply
- Jarrad says:
  
  10:17am | 06/03/11
  
  I dont have the options that someone like Tiger Woods or Charlie Sheen would have in terms of sex. Being a middle class nobody Im punishing myself like everyone else to a life of monogamy. If I could be a sex addict Im sure i would be but its either one vagina or very little vagina for me.
  
  Reply
- Perin1973 says:
  
  02:11pm | 06/03/11
  
  They say that writing on a public forum is indicative that one is sexually frustrated or suffering a daul personality disorder. Luckily I have neither.
  
  Either do I.
  
  Reply
- Luke says:
  
  10:31am | 07/03/11
  
  Why are there more personality disorders than there are persons?
  
  Reply

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