Once upon a time when you engaged in sex, whether within a relationship or casually, the most you had to worry about was who had a condom nearby. Or about remembering to take the pill every day. Now we have to worry about being filmed. So other people can watch us.

Having sex with someone involves a certain amount of trust. It can be argued that you can’t expect trust (or fidelity) with a one night stand or casual sex. But you can and should expect respect. Whatever happened to that?
I think it left the building around the same time iPhones turned up and started to run the show.
I carry around a camera, video recorder and GPS device in my handbag. All day. Every day. I can also upload any of these functions quite easily onto Facebook. Convenient? Yes. Scary? Absolutely. But, like most of Gen Y, it has become second nature to me.
I don’t give it a second thought that I have this amount of technology at my disposal until I hear stories like this in the media and I think: “Shit - this could happen to me and I would be none the wiser”.
I doubt I’m the only girl who doesn’t lie awake at night worrying that I have been filmed without my consent. I guess I just think I wouldn’t want to watch it - so why would anybody else?
The most a girl thinks about while fooling around with someone is “wow, this is good” or “wow, what was I thinking?”. It might be wise to ensure all laptops are closed and iPhones are completely out of reach. But, do you think about that stuff in the heat of the moment? I don’t.
When I think of a video camera I think of one of those old school JVCs on a tripod. But these days Apple have made it part of our everyday life. Even the MacBooks have a tiny camera at the top of the screen and if you didn’t own one you wouldn’t know it existed.
If you saw a rug and a tripod you would run for the hills - but this kind of stuff is being recorded against your will. Sure, the sex might be consensual, but the rest isn’t. And that’s uncool.
I was disappointed this week to see the ‘blame the victim’ attitude rear its ugly head again. She had sex with a colleague and although it’s against disciplinary rules it’s hard to believe it never happens.
These guys are away for months at a time. If they’re not shagging themselves, they’re shagging each other. The next day it was revealed that ‘Kate’ had been advised to publicly apologise to her fellow cadets, and during a meeting cadets yelled out “name and shame the dirty slut”. Give me a break.
Why is she labelled a slut while the guy who allegedly filmed her and the group of guys who were allegedly watching via Skype still have their reputations intact?
Watching a couple have sex (via Skype or whatever) without permission IS perverted. She’s not a ‘dirty slut’ for having sex with a fellow cadet. Why is the guy who filmed ‘Kate’ without permission not a “dirty slut”?
If anyone should be publicly apologising it should be him. He has dragged the Defence Force Academy through the mud this week. He has something to be sorry for. Not her.
The way the Defence Force handled the complaint was appalling and will certainly make parents with young daughters who want to enter the force think twice.
If I was interested in applying for a Defence job this would deter me. It shows that this sort of blokey culture is not just restricted to footy codes. If the Defence Force is serious about recruiting women it needs to take sexual misconduct complaints seriously.
This is a crisis and it certainly won’t attract more women into the force. The Defence Force is now in damage control, and giving these guys a slap on the wrist is practically a slap in the face to ‘Kate’.
Defence Minister Stephen Smith this week impressively refused to back the embattled senior officer who ordered disciplinary proceedings against the victim for absence without official leave and alcohol abuse.
It makes me wonder how going to Channel Ten’s Hugh Riminton with her story was inexcusable, yet the cadet who entrapped “Kate” in a sex tape was not.
When she approached senior management, she was allegedly told the culprits were likely to get off with a relatively minor “prejudicial conduct” charge. She immediately went to Channel Ten. That takes some serious lady balls. Good on her.
The reality is that Australian law is failing to keep in step with the speed of technology. In this case apparently no ACT territory law had been broken. Despite this girl being filmed without her consent.
But these laws differ throughout Australian states and territories. This is the scary part; there isn’t ONE blanket law that governs this sort of anti-social behaviour. There ought to be, as the internet and social media is only going to get bigger - and so are the problems.
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