Seriously guys, just be COOL.
Not ‘cool’ in the private-school-jock-sense of being cool - teasing you for your rust-red hair, exceptional clarinet skills and impressive inability to speak to women without your voice cracking - but cool in the nice-person-sense of being cool.
Apparently, despite the fact that it doesn’t cost you anything, nor does it require intelligence or skill, many people find it difficult to simply be nice to others.
Why would you close the elevator when someone is running towards you? Why would you steal someone’s pillow from a house party? Why would you tell your girlfriend her cat sucks your will to live?
Well here’s the scoop, and you don’t need to be a sharply dressed news.com.au reporter to get in on this breaking news: nice guys (and girls) DON’T finish last.
When it comes down to it, no-one likes the badarse for more than the length of a Sons of Anarchy episode. What would you rather: a hot bikie who sneaks out at night to torch a warehouse, or someone who’ll grate the lemon zest for your summer salad then wash up the dishes afterwards?
Nice Guys 1-0 Bad Guys. Zesters win, every time.
With that in mind, here are seven simple tips on how to be avoid getting a reputation as a massive douchelord.
1. When someone smiles at you, smile back. Even if you’ve got death breath and your teeth are showing wear and tear from twice-daily coffee runs;
2. Ask someone how they are in return when you’ve been asked by them. It’s not a leading question, it’s a simple courtesy. Get it done;
3. Pay it forward once in a while. We covered this on news.com.au recently and discovered people, contrary to popular opinion, aren’t always “the worst”. Next time you feel like spinning the karma wheel, pay for a stranger’s drink (and not just because they look like the soldier’s wife on Homeland);
4. Call your dad. Call your mum. Call your brother. Call your mate who lives overseas. Just call someone and tell them you’re thinking about them. You don’t have to necessarily get all deep and meaningful with them. This isn’t The Notebook. Just say g’day, it will make their day;
5. Don’t boo public figures at a stadium or public event. It’s just not cool. Who cares if you hate your local member or think Labor “totes sux brahsies!” - show a bit of respect. It’s easy to stand in a crowd and surrender your individual moral code to a chorus of boos. It’s better to stay silent and just be a good bloke/sheila. (NB: Unless you’re Alf Stewart or from country Queensland, don’t say the words “bloke” or “sheila”. Ever. It doesn’t suit you);
6. Treat others as you want to be treated. It’s the first rule in the book of being a halfway decent person. Sure, sometimes you don’t get the courtesy shown in return. Sure, you’d probably prefer the South African guy at touch footy had NOT thrown you a c-bomb, simply because you had the temerity to cheer loudly while watching your friends play social sport. Rise above and set the standard. It’s not hard to carry yourself with a bit of class;
7. Grow a moustache and contribute to news.com.au’s Movember campaign. We’re just getting our act together and it’ll be a nice touch if you throw in some coin. Come on. We need this.
Bonus tip: Follow @christoforpaine on Twitter. Quality guy. Modest as hell.
Facebook Recommendations
Read all about it
Punch live
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
@nigelmcbain I don't see the nexus between gay marriage and gay sex education in schools. ACL does. Health issues should be taught whatever
@jennijenni a few companies are known to do that - ask for story ideas from job applicants so they can steal them later
: Bruce Springsteen: "I get roughed up crowdsurfing… people try to pull chunks out of me" http://t.co/jiHqt8agt9” it was him, @patricklion
Recent posts
The latest and greatest
The Punch is moving house
Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…
Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?
I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…
Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”
In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…
Gentle jabs to the ribs
Superman needs saving
Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more
Most commented