More than 90 per cent of people who finish Snooki’s book A Shore Thing reportedly Google the phrase: “If I hold my breath for 45 seconds while repeatedly head-butting a wall, will I get amnesia?”
A more pressing question for many of you, however, is probably “who or what is a Snooki?”
Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is the result of an innovative reality television show called Jersey Shore which places a bunch of potential sexual harassment lawsuits in a house in New Jersey and leaves them to enjoy some good ol’ fashioned ‘roid rage, borderline alcoholism and painful acronym-inventing (eg. DTF).
She’s what you would get if you took the most obnoxious X-Factor hopeful ever and locked them in a tanning salon with a crate of cheap vodka and a Ke$ha “album”.
Snooki is the poster girl for people who are famous just for believing it’s their MTV-given right to be famous. She is adored by a legion of loyal fans who study her every move with the hope that they too can earn ridiculous sums of money for doing nothing particularly noteworthy. In his book (yes, another one), her esteemed colleague Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino responds to various haters and “jealous” detractors with “it’s been a lot longer than 15 minutes”.
Socialite Kim Kardashian probably agrees with The Sitch. Kim’s key achievements to date include endorsing a shonky credit card and getting sued for reneging on contractual obligations relating to said credit card after the American public realised it was shonky.
The Jersey Shore crew and the Kardashians are the worst possible role models for youth. I’m not talking about that wowsery “they’ll make six-year-olds wear mini skirts and drink Baccardi” crap. I’m talking about the way they encourage the idea that no one really needs to try to excel at anything anymore as we’re all special flowers who deserve to be rich and famous just because. These smug moneybags mistakenly think they’ve made generations of entrepreneurs and diligent workers look like suckers.
I realise it’s become especially uncool to praise the guy lately, but Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is something of a role model for my generation.
Whatever your opinion of Zuckerberg and his social network, you have to admit the man’s undeniably self-made. He may very well turn out to be a dotcom tyrant some day with 600 million identities at his disposal, but you can’t deny his work ethic. Men and women like Zuckerberg know that the world doesn’t owe you a living. It begrudgingly grants you an existence and dares you to do something with it.
While most billionaires buy up small islands and country manors to set up home offices in, Zuckerberg found himself a pad closer to Facebook headquarters. He’s got enough cash to buy half of New York, turn it into frat houses and then into pool rooms, but he still shows up for work each day.
Nobody deserves to be successful until they actually are. If you really want respect, you’ll spend 10 hours a day at your desk, your guitar, your studio, or your workshop until you get it.
Fashions change, artists die and pages yellow, but humility, focus and a strong work ethic will always be the key to enjoying a genuinely rewarding life. Because unbeknownst to The Sitch, the average person lives a lot longer than 15 minutes.
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