Tired of self-serving books about Australian politics in which the author is blameless but the ex-colleagues were closed-minded and unfair? Or the author had the secret to world peace but the colleagues were unfairly closed minded?
Greg Rudd, brother of former Prime Minister Kevin and long a traveller in Labor circles, has an alternative that’s light years from both options. On Monday he will publish a unique tell-all ebook on Australian politics.
But a bit of a warning. It will come with a generous dose of fantasy and plain weird stuff, and does involve he future.
Mr Rudd will tell all about terrorists razing the Sydney Opera House in 2016, and how the Australian Prime Minister became an international hero by rebuilding it. But hovering over the events was a massive controlling being, the Mother Company.
He will pose such questions as: How do white doves of peace become black eyed demons of death? Who ate the children in Brazil?
As will quickly become clear to the reader, this isn’t a siblings-and-all record of current Australian politics, and it has a body count which fortunately has never been tallied in real life.
It’s an excursion into science fiction and fantasy by Mr Rudd, a consultant with extensive ties to Chinese business who plans to be an independent Senate candidate in Queensland at the next election.
He gives an occasional cameo role to his brother—he calls him ``I’ve-got-the-biggest-brain-in-the-room, Kevin Rudd’’ - as well as to John Howard, and Gough Whitlam.
Tony Abbott is mentioned as the 28th Prime Minister of Australia who makes way for a mysterious character, Duncan Linley.
But the central character of his novel, The Two Heart Conspiracy (BWM Books), is Max Switch, an independent MP, his 12-year-old son Larry, and abducted 10-year-old daughter Emma.
“What if imagination is shifting windows into past lives helping us remember a past we want to forget?” asks a synopsis.
Current political affairs are touched on marginally but genuine history is dealt with brutally. Real characters are eliminated in nasty fashion:
“Fair suck of the sauce bottle,” exclaimed ex-Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, jumping to his feet in righteous indignation. He pushed glasses authoritatively back onto the bridge of his quivering nose as he began an intellectual rant, outlining key points as to why Max Switch should lay down his weapon and surrender.
Max laid down fire instead and sauce flowed. People screamed. Paul Keating went down in a tirade of foul mouthed vitriol. John Howard closed his eyes and prepared to meet Menzies.
The remaining Australian ex-Prime Ministers were quick learners and turned to flee, except Tony Abbot. Tony put up two fists, took three bullets, then dropped to his knees in prayer.
Other Aussie Prime Ministers were gunned down from behind with Malcolm Fraser and Bob Hawke suffering punctured tyres as well as punctured bodies.
`God save Australia’, wheezed the towering Gough Whitlam before catapulting backward on top of a blood spattered Julia Gillard. She was covered in Gough Blood, a last great honour to die beneath the Great Man himself.
The Two Heart Conspiracy will be formally launched on October 31.
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