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Rolling in the deep: Why sad songs make us happy

Mikey Cahill

by Mikey Cahill

17 Sep 05:55am

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Filed under: Emotions, Happiness, Music, Sadness

25 comments

No matter where you are right now, if you listen really hard, you can probably hear Gotye and Kimbra’s song Somebody That I Used To Know. Hell, you’ve probably been humming it all day. It’s as ubiquitous as the waft of cherry blossoms and has racked up 140,000 sales (double platinum!), 6 million views on YouTube and a legion of international twitter fans via Ashton Kutcher, Katy Perry and others with actual music taste.

It’s a very sad song making a lot of people very happy. So why has Gotye and Kimbra’s paean to pain resonated with music fans all over the world? It’s a tricky question but one I can answer for you, curious reader.

Partly, it’s about empowerment. A tight arrangement, catchy verses and soaring chorus can make you forget all about that person what dun you wrawwwng. But mostly it’s not about that at all. Mostly it’s about recognising – almost subliminally – that a sad song has more truth in it than a happy song.

Indeed, Triple J buzz band Grouplove’s new album is called Never Trust A Happy Song. When you can hear genuine hurt and genuine yearning in a singer’s voice it does a strange thing to your heart and actually lifts it.

Interestingly, the song that Gotye and Kimbra dislodged from the number one position on the charts was Adele’s Rolling in the Deep, an equally disquieting song that triumphs over tragedy through the power of a dismissive, dynamite chorus: “We could have had it all.”
A friend of mine who has just gone through a shocking break-up says she couldn’t listen to any music for a while. “Especially not bloody Adele, I break down as soon as I hear that bitch on the radio.” But something has changed. A few months have gone by and now she is joining in with the rest of us, singing along without wallowing in the wordplay. All she hears now is the truth of the song. And that makes her shoulders feel a little lighter.

I’ve had my heart broken twice. Not fun. But both times it was music that got me through. Firstly it was Quannum’s I Changed My Mind, a hip hop tune that is basically five minutes of caustic catharsis and the second time it was Beck’s Beautiful Way, with the clarion clarity of this line: “Such a beautiful way to break my heart.” Now when I hear these songs I am reminded of a happy time in my life, not a sad one.

Weird.

But wonderful.

Gotye’s assertion “You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness” drips with agonising self-awareness. It’s a telling observation.

Thankfully though, most of us are too busy marvelling at the melodic hooks and readying ourselves to soar – in every sense – with the visceral, nothing-else-matters-right-now line of the chorus:

Now you’re just somebody that I used to know.

And that’s the truth.

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25 comments

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    • Ripa says:

      06:56am | 17/09/11

      This is a great song, and i agree nothing beats more true than heartache in lyrics, i also remember rage playing the Quannum video in the early hours of the morning it is also a great tune, but for me one song that can always bring me to tears is Beloved by Wendy Matthews. dang…

      Reply

    • Chart pedant says:

      07:55am | 17/09/11

      ‘Rolling in the Deep’ was never actually number one in Australia. Adele’s ‘Someone Like You’ has been number one since RITD, but that wasn’t the song dislodged by Gotye either.

      Reply

    • acotrel says:

      08:03am | 17/09/11

      Some of the music played on commercial radio these days, is wrist slashing stuff.  But the fact that it is popular means it must strike a chord with many people.  Perhaps depressive illness is widespread and we should all take a step back, and take a long hard look at the way we live ?

      Reply

    • Jane2 says:

      02:56pm | 17/09/11

      Or does it reflect the fact that the largest age group buying music are under 21’s when all emotions are their most intense, when every crush is “the one” and every rejection is “Ill never love anyone like them”. Its only sensible that people who are feeling these extremes are the ones choosing to buy songs that reflect their emotions at the time.

      My favourite record of my youth was “Bat out of Hell 2” as it reflected my feelings of the time.

    • acotrel says:

      05:28am | 18/09/11

      @Jane2
      I get really sick and tired of hearing young people complaining about how bad the world is, and using that as an excuse to get off their faces.  The truth is that there has never been a more cossetted generation than this latest lot, and they seem to have the expectation that their little botties should always be powdered for them.  A simple example is in the world of motorcycle racing.  Us old farts have done the hard yards, and got race meetings up and running.  The youngies will abuse the volunteers, complain like hell, but with few exceptions, they’ll never step up to the plate themselves, and give something back.  I’ve seen too many of them in action.  They won’t get much sympathy from me !

    • marley says:

      11:57am | 18/09/11

      @Jane2 - I think that’s quite a good point.  As you get older, your emotions develop more equilibrium, but when you’re in your mid or late teens, they’re all over the place - that was true back in the dim dark recesses of the past when I was a teenager, and I don’t see why it would be any different for today’s younger generation.  Heck, think Romeo and Juliet for that matter.  If Shakespeare could point out the depths of teenage angst and euphoria, I guess modern songwriters can too

    • Melrusk says:

      12:38pm | 18/09/11

      Yeah, now I have a new interest in your comments. Thank you

    • Let It Rain says:

      04:43pm | 17/09/11

      Elton John (or more accurately, Bernie Taupin) said it all quite a few years ago.


      Guess there are times when we all need to share a little pain
      And ironing out the rough spots
      Is the hardest part when memories remain
      And it’s times like these when we all need to hear the radio
      `Cause from the lips of some old singer
      We can share the troubles we already know
      Turn them on, turn them on
      Turn on those sad songs
      When all hope is gone
      Why don’t you tune in and turn them on
      They reach into your room
      Just feel their gentle touch
      When all hope is gone
      Sad songs say so much
      If someone else is suffering enough to write it down
      When every single word makes sense
      Then it’s easier to have those songs around
      The kick inside is in the line that finally gets to you
      and it feels so good to hurt so bad
      And suffer just enough to sing the blues
      Sad songs, they say
      Sad songs, they say
      Sad songs, they say
      Sad songs, they say so much

      Reply

    • Al Chunk says:

      07:21pm | 17/09/11

      No way is this a good song - recording success and greatness today can only be attained by performers singing in their knickers.

      Reply

    • Melrusk says:

      12:34pm | 18/09/11

      What nickers ?
      have you not watched this clip? all they wear is cubist body paint.

    • Nick says:

      08:21pm | 17/09/11

      I don’t think I ever liked or bought a song because it reflected my feelings. I’ve always enjoyed songs that had a nice catchy vocal with a good beat.

      Reply

    • stephen says:

      01:05am | 18/09/11

      ...and do you like a car with decent rear-seat leg-room ?

    • stephen says:

      12:55am | 18/09/11

      Pop songs sell from memory.
      I mean, the history of the format is short, (maybe 50 years ?) and there are so many records sold to older folk like me who want to remember the moments and the things we did when we first heard a particular song.
      (Isn’t this why recordings are imperative to this music ?)

      However, (and this is a big ‘how..’) the best music is not memorial, but frontal : the best bands are still accessible through live performances.
      And ‘live’ is the way to go.
      In their day the best bands of the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s were always live, (and I remember in about ‘75 hearing and seeing Stevie Wright at Mayne Hall in Brissy : he sang his hit, waved from in front of him his 6 foot mic, and went ass-over-tit on the stage) ... but it was real.
      The best musos gotta play live.

      Steely Dan and Chicago, excluded.

      Reply

    • Fiona says:

      07:21am | 18/09/11

      The smiths. I still have “how soon is now”. Their whole works were depressing really.
      “everybody hurts” by REM. It was popular at the time of a relationship breakup in my mid 20s. Also very depressing.

      Reply

    • Let it Rain says:

      02:05pm | 18/09/11

      Radiohead hold the record, in my book, for the saddest, most depressing music ever written. Exit Music (fFor a film) being example number one.Bloody fantastic stuff!

      Reply

    • darragh scully says:

      05:48pm | 18/09/11

      Two words.

      Alicia Keys.

      Reply

    • MikeS says:

      11:07am | 19/09/11

      I love sad songs. I listen to them incessantly when I am at my lowest. Some might see that as counter-productive, but it seems to lift me. Reminding me that I am not alone.

      The saddest part of any song, for me, is the middle of Dry Your Eyes by the Streets. The song is a story of a breakup as it is happening and right at that point of realisation that it’s over, Mike Skinner says ” And I’m just standin’ there, I can’t say a word, ‘Cause everythin’s just gone, I’ve got nothin’, Absolutely nothin’ .” Gets me everytime.

      Favourite overall sad song would be Cut Here by the Cure.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sKWrpaEw0k&ob=av2e

      Reply

    • Mikey Cahill says:

      12:42pm | 20/09/11

      Excellent, right-from-the-ticker feedback! The Cure, The Smiths, Radiohead and Sinead are all inspired choices. Jack Ladder’s Hurtsville is a strong recent album too that does what it says on the tin.
      Re: ‘Let It Rain’ I actually had a paragraph on Elton n Bernie’s Sad Songs but it didn’t fit the rest of the feature. Incredible hook.
      Thanks for reading, responding and regaling.
      Keep the song suggestions a’coming

      Reply
 
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