So Slash is playing one of the hits – it might have been Rocket Queen, the anthemic final track from Appetite for Destruction. The crowd up the front has the devil horns going. We’re a couple of dozen rows back, just standing around. I get a tap on the shoulder.

Taken on my BlackBerry, right after checking a few emails

“Excuse me,” says a guy who looks like he’s just come the trading floor, “but I can’t see a thing.” Pfft. Where are we? The Louvre?

But it’s to be expected of fans at modern rock concerts, attended as they are by middle-class tossers pretending they’re still as rebellious as when they first listened to an album by the ageing millionaire and recovering drug addict with the guitar on stage. I know this because I am one of those middle-class tossers.

“Rock and roll, it’s the best f***in’ thing in the world man!” Slash told the crowd in a random intervention. Woo! More devil horns. Fun, but it didn’t ring true. That crowd at the Hordern Pavillion in Sydney last night would agree that the best things in the world are as follows: getting upgraded to business class on a long-haul flight, getting a great parking spot on the trip into Woolworths, and finding that nifty feature on Powerpoint you were looking for.

Slash and his band churned through rock classics and a few fans went crowd surfing. His guitar solo (boring, but there has to be one at a Slash gig) was the theme from The Godfather, the same one I heard him play when I saw him play at Slane Castle outside Dublin on the Use Your Illusion tour.

Eighteen years ago.

It wasn’t all financial services types who had hung their shirts on their cubicles and thrown on a black t-shirt over their pressed pants. There were some spotty teenagers there, kids in the thrall of getting to know their rock music who came to see one of the unquestioned legends of the genre. Two little scuts standing beside me at one point were probably not much older than I was when Appetite for Destruction – still the biggest selling debut album of all time – was released.

Twenty-three years ago. 

For some perspective, 23 years before Appetite was released it was 1964, when The Beatles recorded I Want To Hold Your Hand. Woodstock hadn’t happened and Jimi Hendrix was still playing with Little Richard.

By 1987 rock had evolved to Welcome to the Jungle but if you ask me it hasn’t gone all that much further in the time since.

The gig was good, but the band knew their audience. Singer Miles Kennedy politely asked the crowd at one point if everybody up the front was OK. You half-expected him to add a nice lady could bring you a cushion if it might make you a bit more comfortable.

Rock marketing is about anarchy and rebellion, but apart from the teens who are yet to realise that being a rebel gets you fired, the genre is getting so long in the tooth now that its fans are getting false ones. It’s just a bit of an escape.

And I say “a bit of an escape” because it’s certainly not a complete escape, like a couple of nights at the Crown Plaza type of escape. As Slash was burning through tunes like Civil War and By the Sword, I found myself not fully away from it all. Thoughts included: I wonder how Abbott is going on Q&A; I’m tired, god it’s only Monday, and there’s five days of this election campaign to go; the debate on the economy could be good tomorrow, and hey, I might be able to get a post out of this for The Punch.

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    • David C says:

      12:06pm | 17/08/10

      That happened to me at the Rolling Stones concert few years ago. Some old farts (well slightly older than me farts) told me to sit down. It just brought the whole night down.
      Interestingly at the ACDC concert this year no one was standing, probably had something to do with the fact that every bouncer, bikie and ex-con in Sydney was sitting in our area, and if they wanted to stay seated well who was I to spoil thier view.

    • Clem says:

      02:32pm | 17/08/10

      I got the same at that Rolling Stones concert - everyone stood up for Mick, but sat down for a rest when Keith came to the microphone for a couple of songs. But I wouldn’t sit down. Because rock’n'roll is all about sticking it to the man…so long as the man is older and weaker than you.

    • Matt says:

      12:11am | 18/08/10

      Perth AC/DC concert kicked ar$e. Im an aging rocker with a sore back & legs that require a rest every few minutes. But when Angus hit that first chord, I was teleported back to my youthful days & the pain went away!!! 3hrs of non stop standing, head banging & singing at the top of our lungs to our hero’s was worth waking up the next morning with no voice, a stiff neck & a bad back (oh plus the hangover!!!) Long live Rock n’ farckin Roll.

    • Scarlett Street Rocker says:

      12:06pm | 17/08/10

      As opposed to the upper middle class tosser playing the guitar onstage.

    • Ben says:

      12:13pm | 17/08/10

      I agree with this article completely. As a 22-year-old I went to see The Who in Sydney only to be shocked to discover a mob of geriatric wankers who looked scornfully upon my mate and I when we committed that crime of crimes - standing up.
      It was a pathetic display but a bunch of people who should have stayed at home and watched a The Who DVD and got out of the way for people who actually wanted to enjoy it.
      We had security called on us several times, each time for daring to stand during the set.
      Even Pete Townsend said at one point, “You know this is a rock concert not a fucking tea party.”
      It is my earnest hope that these aging Baby Boomers and Gen X tossers will either piss off altogether or at least let those who still have the spirit enjoy seeing the rock legends of the past while we still have a chance.
      Don’t get me started on the happy family at AC/DC that was shocked to discover the other 50,000 people didn’t see letting their three-year-old pass to front as a pressing concern.
      At least the crowds at Ozzy Osbourne and Iron Maiden understood they were at a metal gig.
      Next comes Metallica - if I see any whining Gen Xers in smart-casual attire complaining about the behaviour of the teenagers, I’m pouring beer on their heads and ashing cigarettes into their enormous arse-cracks.

    • Elphaba says:

      01:12pm | 17/08/10

      Nicely said, Ben.  I’ll be at Metallica too - first time attendee, long time fan.  I agree - it’s a live gig, if you want to not be inconvenienced, sit at home and watch the DVD. grin

    • Graham S says:

      03:39pm | 17/08/10

      Good point Ben, but you have to realise that many of the geriatics sitting down are still recovering from their hip replacements, knee ops or assorted back aches, stiff joints and sundry ailments. Still you had the cred not to be seen at an Eagles/ Barry Manilow/ Cat Stevens/ Olivia N-J gig unlike some of the other healthcare card carrying tossers of that era.

    • Mr ShouldKnowBetter says:

      12:22pm | 17/08/10

      Aging rockers know we new oldies are there for the taking, just sing some old songs, get a tailor to add some extra cloth to the waistline and mention the your kids for some suburban empathy.  The dried up revenue streams once full of CD royalties will rush again full of online credit card payments from the nostalgia circuit ticketing.  It is not music we are there for, just the a modern way to show how we find it hard to move on from when life was fun.

    • TheBigMicka says:

      12:39pm | 17/08/10

      Blame the internet.  Now any flog can get front row seats to any concert by logging on and hitting re-fresh at 9am when the tickets go on sale.  Even bigger flogs who belong to Visa and Master Card clubs can get tickets before they go on-sale.  Lo and behold, concerts are full of flogs.

      Bring back the days of camping out for tickets.  If you really wanted to see Pearl Jam or the Chilli Peppers in the early 90’s, you had to prove it by lining up 12 hours before tickets went on sale.  People would say ‘I couldn’t get tickets cos I had to work’, which just meant they didn’t really want them in the first place.

    • Joe Stephens says:

      12:59pm | 17/08/10

      Bring back the days when the tosser at the front of the line buys 60,000 tickets to scalp them… wait, that might have been a Simpsons episode.. but you get the drift.

    • Anne71 says:

      12:45pm | 17/08/10

      Okay, given some of the concerts listed here I know I am going to be laughed to scorn for this, but earlier in the year I went with my sisters to the Tears for Fears / Spandau Ballet concert in Brisbane. The audience was mainly people of, shall we say, a certain age (put it this way, I don’t think you would have found many under-30s there) Yet throughout the show, depending on the song, everyone got up and danced and had a fantastic time. It was a wonderful atmosphere, and no-one complained that the dancers were blocking their view because they were too busy dancing themselves. But a few years back I saw Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band and for that one, people appeared to be glued to their seats. Bruce actually had to tell them when to get up. And If I dared to stand up without being told to, security would tap me on the shoulder and warn me that I would be ejected if I didn’t sit down. I agree with whoever said that boring tossers like that audience should just stay home and watch the DVD, rather than spoil the fun for everyone else.

    • Sam Chowder says:

      01:00pm | 17/08/10

      The problem can be solved by:
        1.  Training crowd controllers to help the aged attendees politely out of their seats
          2.  Installing those seats that can stand a person upright with the help of small motors.  These seats can then be remotely activated just before the uptempo numbers.
          3.  “Front of Stage Certification” awarded by doctors vouching for the patients ability to get in and out of chairs easily and stand for 6 minute periods unaided

    • DaisyDuke says:

      01:25pm | 17/08/10

      The article is correct, fact of the matter is that music ages and the belief that rock and roll is “timeless” is just a myth. Colgo’s parents probably told him about the Beatles and how they stuck it to the squares the same way that he tells his kids how rebellious he was listening to the Slash and they will tell theirs how much gear they did while partying to Pendulum.

      Sure you can listen to the Beatles or AC/DC and it is still good music but the lifestyle that develops/happens when the musical genre is created is forever tied to the music and vice versa. Whenever you hear that music 20 or 30 years down the track you will look back on life at that time with rose coloured glasses.

    • Eleanor says:

      01:30pm | 17/08/10

      Can I offer a different perspective? I was at Soudwave earlier this year, and the crowd for Paramore was the most feral thing I’ve ever seen. And I say this as a veteran of six consecutive BDOs. I’ve been in the pits for TOOL, Muse, Rage Against the Machine and the Dropkick Murphys - and none of which were as feral as this crowd. There were crowd surges every time that buck toothed ranga so much as blinked, and everyone - I mean EVERYONE - had their friggin’ iPhone out to take photos. Blurry, crappy photos to swamp their FB page with.

      Where has the fun gone? Rock gigs used to be about singing along and getting sweaty and having a good ol’ stomp in the pit. Now, nobody seems happy if they’re not front row and centre and if needs be, they’ll scalp you to try and get your spot. And then they’ll spend the whole time glued to their iPhone taking pix, not really enjoying the moment but just being so determined to preserve it to prove that they were there. Call me crazy, but if I’ve paid $130 for a ticket, I want to actually experience the gig with my own eyes and ears, and not through the camera of my smart phone.

      Rock shows ain’t what they used to be, guys.

    • Elphaba says:

      01:45pm | 17/08/10

      This comment needs a ‘like’ button. tongue laugh

      I agree.  I just want to go and hear the band play - I can’t be bothered trying to hold a camera steady to take photos of them.  I know I was there.  My mates know I was there, because I spent the month leading up to it talking about it.  I bought the tour T-shirt.  Why would you watch the whole thing throught your phone?

      *sigh* I feel like a grumpy old woman sometimes, and I’m only 28!

    • Sarah says:

      03:08pm | 17/08/10

      I was at Soundwave and while I avoided the Paramore pit, I had the same bemused reflection while watching HIM. I took a few photos, but was there to see one of my favourite bands… and I could’ve seen them a hell of a lot better had all the other punters around me (all the teens who couldn’t go to the 18+ HiFi show the night before) realised they’d see the band much better if they weren’t trying to record the songs onto their camera or mobile.

      I don’t get it! You’ve paid all that money to *see* the show, not record footage for You Tube.

      And as for aging rockers… hell. I just bought tickets for Iron Maiden and am eagerly awaiting November to see Metallica. I know I don’t enjoy getting seven shades of shit kicked out of me in the mosh pit, so I bought tickets up in the lower tier seated section. I will be standing, dancing and moshing regardless - I might be too short to survive a mosh pit, but I’m at a rock concert for a reason and it ain’t to do my knitting! I will not be impressed if any middle aged wanker tells me to sit down during either performance.

    • Sarah says:

      03:13pm | 17/08/10

      and Elphaba… I feel like an old woman in this crowds too. Spent most of the Big Day Out and Soundwave last year thinking (often aloud, not caring that I was being rude and obnoxious) “Why the hell spend all that money to get so drunk that you can’t remember the band you wanted to see, but know that you saw them because you have 100+ blurry photos and some wobbly video footage???”

      I spend all that money on the gig, the tour shirt and know I was there and remember it all… and make sure all my mates remember that I remember by not shutting up about it!

    • Elphaba says:

      03:24pm | 17/08/10

      Sarah, I bought a seat for Metallica as well.  I don’t intend to sit in it, but I also don’t want to get my head kicked in at the moshpit - I just want to hear/see the music.

      Green Day wasn’t too bad - everyone stood up for the whole thing, which was pretty good - no one complaining about sitting down.  I had a couple of 16 yr olds next to me, who went nuts during the American Idiot/21st Century songs, but quietened down during the Dookie set (I felt old then!).  They did watch most of the gig through their camera though, but luckily, I could still see.

    • Ben says:

      03:36pm | 17/08/10

      @ Sarah

      If you were at Soundwave and watching HIM (which where I was clashed with Faith No More, assume it did everywhere but could be wrong) instead of Faith No More I have to seriously question your taste.

      And you get what you deserve if you actively try to watch Paramore - my friends forced me to stand through it but what offended me was the fact that this was considered a good band.

    • Clem says:

      03:44pm | 17/08/10

      I heard that Bjork refused to perform at one of her concerts while people had their phones out trying to record it. Would be good if all acts did that.

    • Elphaba says:

      04:02pm | 17/08/10

      Sarah, re: the getting blind drunk or pinging at gigs, I agree.  I spend a lot of money on live music, and I want to be able to remember it.  I won’t even drink too much water, lest I have to go to the loo whilst the music is still going!

      I’ve driven the people at work mad about Metallica already… I’ve wanted to see them for the past 15 years (yes, I got into them in the 90s, but I have their back catalogue too!)  One of the guys made fun of me because I’m so excited, but I smugly replied that you don’t choose what you love, it chooses you.

      He gave me much respect for that statement. smile

    • Tim says:

      04:27pm | 17/08/10

      Quick call the whaaaaammmmbbuuulllaaannnncceee.

      “People get drunk and take photos at concert”

      Shocking news that.

      “oh when i’m at concerts, it’s all about the music”.

      Live a little. The only thing worse than young tools is old music snobs.

    • Eleanor says:

      04:31pm | 17/08/10

      Hahaha, Elphaba, I know what you mean. I had a good spot for Muse at this year’s BDO and even though it had been a ridiculously hot day I rationed my water because I didn’t want to sacrifice my spot in case I needed to wee. I find about a small sip every five minutes does it - just replaces the water you’ve lost through sweat.

      Anyway, how awesome is Soundwave 2011 going to be?!

    • Elphaba says:

      04:49pm | 17/08/10

      @Tim - not a music snob, just trying to understand why a person wants to live a concert experience through a lens and booze-fuddled haze.

      Enlighten me. smile

      @Eleanor, that lineup is CRAZY!  Still tossing up whether I’m going or not, I have a OS trip in 8 weeks, so I’m still madly saving for that.  We’ll see…

    • Eleanor says:

      04:56pm | 17/08/10

      Ben -  I had a good spot for Jimmy Eat World, which was also a good vantage point for FNM. I am only a small person at the end of the day, and was happy to view FNM from a distance. Like hell I was giving it up for one of those little shits.

    • Bitten says:

      05:24pm | 17/08/10

      @Tim: Oh please. 40 year old wankers forcing over-exposed and blurry photos of their offspring/holiday to Noosa/school reunion are exactly the same as 20 year old wankers forcing underexposed and blurry photos of their BDO/random friend’s beach wedding/Burning Man fest. All wankers. We don’t want to see your photos of moments in your life. We believe that you were in Greece, that you have children, that you did see that band, that your friend’s wedding dress is fugly. We don’t need photo evidence - we find it slightly weird that you do.

    • Ben says:

      08:46pm | 17/08/10

      LOL. Ah I’m sounding like a total tool now but maaaaan I hated Jimmy Eat World. Loved the dude behind me who shouted an epic “YOU SUCK!” while we were waiting for FNM.

      Why the organisers didn’t have HIM on that stage I’ll never understand.

    • Sarah says:

      10:41pm | 18/08/10

      @ Elphaba - Green Day last year was the first stadium gig I’d been to and I was impressed that everyone, even in the seated section, was on their feet and dancing for the whole gig. It was great fun. No crushing in the mosh pit. No trying to peer around people’s shoulders. Great view, space and fun. I had a whole family behind us - mum, dad, teenage kids and teenager’s mates. All of them were having a ball - teens were a bit embarrassed at parent’s dancing at some points! Hilarious.

      @ Clem - Jack White had similar rants during the latest Dead Weather tours (especially on tail end US shows, where he appeared to be fuelled by Verve Cliquot!) I wish more people would listen. I understand a few pictures. I don’t understand trying to watch the entire show via your camera!

      @ Ben - if I could’ve been in 2 places at once, I would’ve happily seen FNM as well raspberry

      @ Elanor - Soundwave 2011 is beyond epic. So keen - buying tickets tomorrow!

    • RobJ says:

      01:52pm | 17/08/10

      I stopped here:

      “By 1987 rock had evolved to Welcome to the Jungle but if you ask me it hasn’t gone all that much further in the time since.”

      Hmmm, Red Hot Chili Peppers? Jane’s Addiction, Fishbone, all with their refreshing take on rock.

      Personally I stopped listening to new music in the mid 90’s, other priorities, family, job etc but just because I’m not listening i don’t presume that ‘rock’ isn’t progressing.

      OK, I read a bit more:

      “the genre is getting so long in the tooth now that its fans are getting false ones.”

      If you’re going to talk like that then It was long in the tooth in ‘87.

      Your basic premise is right, you’re a middle class tosser wink, rock music isn’t marketed at you.

    • ts says:

      03:09pm | 17/08/10

      you hit the nail on the head… this is 80’s and 90’s rock.  what did you expect?

    • Leigh says:

      01:56pm | 17/08/10

      took my 8 year old daughter to see Maiden at Rod Laver in 08, dropped the tie, pulled out the old double denim, flew in from Adelaide and relived my youth.
      I stood up for the whole gig, and she stood on the seat giving Rime of the Ancient Mariner everything she had.
      No complaints from anyone, but lots of, “man, wish my dad had taken me to a Maiden gig”.  If you didn’t get right into the Slash gig Colgo, it obviously wasn’t that good, or you’re too uptight…

    • Ben says:

      02:45pm | 17/08/10

      No one does it better than Maiden - best thing is they’re back in Oz towards the end of the year.

      I saw them at Acer Arena and it was perfect - half the fun was the train ride down with the pumped up Maiden fans of all ages. No disappointment at that show from crowd or band.

      The incredible thing was watching a bunch of blokes in their 50s and 60s run, jump and sing like madmen for three hours.

      Rock’s not dead while Iron Maiden lives.

      Fear of the Dark and Number of the Beast are among the greatest moments in my life.

      Pearl Jam at the Adelaide Entertainment Centre was one of the worst show’s I’ve been too thanks to the over-zealous security who spent the entire show - despite the wishes of all in attendance - shoving people back into seats and confiscating cameras.

    • Slaver says:

      03:04pm | 17/08/10

      ‘...getting upgraded to business class on a long-haul flight, getting a great parking spot on the trip into Woolworths, and finding that nifty feature on Powerpoint you were looking for….’

      Congratulations!  You are officially a GEEK!

    • Russ says:

      03:05pm | 17/08/10

      You are looking in the wrong places. You can go out in Melbourne any night of the week 365 days a year & see great local & internationl original independant music, what ever your taste. And for a fraction of the cost of an overated guitarest who hasnt done anything worth listening to for 20 years.

      Rock & Roll isnt the one getting long in the tooth.

    • Music Lover says:

      08:39pm | 17/08/10

      ....and Brisbane and Sydney, some of us oldies still love hearing new talent and there is plenty of it about.  It is a shame most oldies are stuck on the same record but for them it is not about music it is a last grasp at their fading youth.

    • Daniel says:

      10:04pm | 17/08/10

      Absolutely!  Any band getting back together after 20 years cannot possibly be better than slightly worse than they used to be.  Meanwhile there’s genuine creativity happening in various genres right around Australia every weekend.  Mid 30-s is a great time to go out and explore new tastes and styles that you wouldn’t have considered back in the days.  If you’re 40 and you’re still drinking the same drinks and listening to the same music as when you were 18 then what the hell have you been doing for the past two decades?

    • Peter says:

      03:56pm | 17/08/10

      Them Crooked Vultures at Festival Hall in Melbourne in January this year - now there is a supergroup who could have been milking every dollar from thousands and thousands of people yet decided to get back to basics and make raw rock music in front of no more than 3000 people….  regardless of who you are and your backgrond, if the band is all about the music, then the concert will be better for it….

    • Tim says:

      04:36pm | 17/08/10

      Them Crooked Vultures?
      Most overhyped band ever. They suck hardcore.

    • Super D says:

      04:20pm | 17/08/10

      For the record I believe that Apetite for Destruction is the finest rock album ever made.

    • Paul Colgan

      Paul Colgan says:

      05:45pm | 17/08/10

      +1, Super D

      Good comment thread this ... would be fun to put you lot in a pub together.

    • Elphaba says:

      07:07pm | 17/08/10

      @Colgo - it’s definitely entertaining.  Nothing polarises people like politics and religion… and music.

    • Shaking Head says:

      05:39pm | 17/08/10

      Mr Colgan -  you have now reached the stage where the only live music that requires your attendance is Carols by Candlelight.

    • Stewart Henstock says:

      06:42pm | 17/08/10

      Ahhhh the good ol days…. Moving Pictures at the Manzil Room Kings X then a short walk across the road to the Cauldron.

    • Arnold Layne says:

      07:03pm | 17/08/10

      You pick the gig you pick the venue.  Sure standing up might not be your cup of tea, so get to the Hordern early and get a seat up the back, but don’t complain about someone in front of you who is just standing there too.  If you don’t like the venue much you have to decide whether seeing the band you want to see is worth the effort at that venue.  It’s up to you.  Personally, for example, I have always found the sound at the Big Top at Luna Park is pretty crappy and it would put me off going back unless it was a band I was desperate to see.

      The punters that p1ss me off are the ones who wait until the gig starts and then push past everyone and stand right in front of you in the viewing space that you have carefully protected for the last hour.  Even “get the f*&k out of the way” doesn’t have much impact on tossers like that.

      I have some sympathy for those sitting at gigs at major arenas though, depending on who the artist is of course.  Complaining about your view being blocked at a Metallica gig is a little different and harder to justify than the same complaint at a James Taylor concert.

      Worse still is having to give up your ticket to Slash because you’re too sick to attend, but that’s another story entirely…

    • GB says:

      11:26am | 18/08/10

      Agreed. It’s not just old farts who complain about people standing up. People seem to have a sense of entitlement these days…

      I went to see Goldfrapp in Melbourne the other at the Palace. The Palace is a multi level venue and if you want to see/a good spot you get in early and head up the front, or up to the balcony or up to the upper level and grab a spot at the front up there. It is sold as general admission so first in first served and while there are a few seats upstairs 99% of people are standing.

      I got there late-ish and took a spot on the main floor level. Show started and cue pushing, shoving, hitting and whining from the b*tch behind me who “cant see anymore because of your fat head” and “i’ve been here since 7.30 and you’re in my way”

      Sorry, but if you’re getting there at 7.30 there are many other better spots you could have grabbed instead of standing in the middle of the main level where it is the most crowded and difficult to see!

    • Mark S says:

      08:15pm | 17/08/10

      Oh i feel you Paul. I was just about dead on my feet and looking for a comfy chair by the time FNM had finished at last years Soundwave. (Great gig that whole day BTW). Have i become too old to rock and roll? NEVER I SAY! If Lemmy can still do it, then so can I! He has 20 plus years on me. Bring on the next KISS tour!

    • Scarlett Street Rocker says:

      07:51am | 18/08/10

      Chocolate Jesus! Another bunch of middle class tossers coming to a venue near you.

    • Amy says:

      11:16pm | 17/08/10

      I saw Metallica when I was 18.  I couldn’t get floor seats, but the entire crowd stood the entire time.  The annoying 14 year olds behind me (girls and boys) screamed the entire time and spent a lot of time putting water in their incredibly long hair and twirling their heads around for reasons entirely beyond my understanding.  It was terrifically unpleasant.  I’m 23 now.  Sometimes, I really think I’m a 90 year old in a Gen Y body.  The moment I turned around and gave a lecture on concert decorum to a bunch of teenagers during the middle guitar solo in Master of Puppets is most definitely one of these moments….

    • Elphaba says:

      09:18am | 18/08/10

      :-O

      Of all the songs to pick…

      Hehehe, thanks for the heads up though.

    • Amy's Brother says:

      01:32pm | 18/08/10

      Oh Amy, ever the drama queen….
      This time, I got the floor….
      No more wannabees spraying water on me….

 

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Superman needs saving

Superman needs saving

Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more

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