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Revealed! The secret text messages of Kev and Julia

David Penberthy

by David Penberthy

06 Aug 02:57pm

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Filed under: Election 2010, Julia Gilllard, Kevin Rudd

51 comments

JG: hey kev

Kev and JG: cu satdy

KR: hey kev what

JG: I still like u

KR: yeah right

JG: u will always mean something 2 me

KR: yup

JG: all the guys miss u 2

KR: u mean all the guys who fkd me over

JG: come on that’s in the past. thnk we can make it work again. We were so good for so long

KR: u weren’t saying that a few weeks ago when I’d “lost my way”

JG: let’s not go through all that again. What u doing this weekend

KR: I barely know what day it is. Taking lots of drugs

JG: was the operation bad?

KR: I wasn’t talking about the operation

JG: oh. I’ll be in briz saturday and was thinking mb we could you know catch up

KR: oh yeah why so we can talk about old times

JG: I need you kev

KR: yeah right. Ur only saying that because of tony

JG: maybe. but I know u don’t like tony either

KR: this isn’t just about tony it’s about what u did to me

JG: cmon kev we can make it work again

KR: ROTFLMFAO

JG: what if I said you might be able to do a bit of travelling after the election

KR: huh

JG: no promises but thinking about it

KR: hmm

JG: seriously I am. Bit of time os would be good hey

KR: mmm

JG: think about it. Let’s have coffee satday

KR: ok why not.

JG: that’s gr8 kev see u on the southside

KR: seeing her saturday laurie

JG: hey?

KR: nothing I meant see u saturday

JG: oh. Cool. This is going to be gr8

KR: yes. Yes it is

JG: smile

Most commented

431Australia, you have nothing to fear but fear itself
390There's no one Thomson won't burn to save his skin
336Animal experiments won't cure me from cancer
313Thomson didn't answer the question everyone is asking
266Who murdered the Arts degree?
246A big day for Thomson, who thus far is guilty of nothing...
231Craig Thomson speaks. Meanwhile, in Australia...
231South Australia. It's the middle bottom bit.

51 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • MarK says:

      03:06pm | 06/08/10

      I see you have edited out the swearing.

      Nice work but raspberry

      Reply

    • Joe says:

      03:21pm | 06/08/10

      If only they weren’t both vying to be our next PM and were teenagers this would be very funny.

      So sad.

    • Hamish says:

      03:14pm | 06/08/10

      This is great Penbo. Love this one - KR: seeing her saturday laurie. So funny. So disturbingly accurate.

      Reply

    • Drunk Guy says:

      04:54pm | 06/08/10

      Yeah that was the best bit, . . . . I FROF,FLMFAO

    • Clem says:

      03:15pm | 06/08/10

      Won’t Joe Hildebrand think you’re moving in on his territory with this sort of piece?

      Reply

    • MK says:

      07:56pm | 06/08/10

      Only if it were funny

      plus penbo stuffed the opening
      “KR: hey kev what”
      should read
      JG:Hey Kev
      KR: What?

    • OMGFO says:

      03:27am | 07/08/10

      Hillderbrand has a sense of humor,not a desire to be popular,insipid attempt at jabberwocky

    • Against the Man says:

      03:17pm | 06/08/10

      A bunch of pathetic, inexperienced, immature and spoilt teenagers trapped in the bodies of so-called adults running this country. Australia wake up haha,

      Reply

    • Zeta says:

      03:30pm | 06/08/10

      miss u krudd. h8 u krudd.

      Reply

    • The Scarlet Pimpernel says:

      03:35pm | 06/08/10

      Very amusing

      Reply

    • Brian Taylor says:

      03:36pm | 06/08/10

      enjoyed that quite a bit thanks

      Reply

    • Phil says:

      03:36pm | 06/08/10

      Pembo. That was almost as funny as Ivan Milat’s tweet on the Chaser - I can stop the boats or Kevin Rudd’s Hospital Service is s@1t. Wheres my f@&king; Hairdryer

      Reply

    • Bicuspid says:

      03:50pm | 06/08/10

      Funniest thing I’ve read all day. ROTFLMFAO!!

      Reply

    • emmgee says:

      03:54pm | 06/08/10

      too funny, too true.
      Love the menace in Kevs last text, ” yes. Yes it is” (going to be great).

      Reply

    • George says:

      04:05pm | 06/08/10

      love the Laurie reference wink

      Reply

    • Carl Palmer says:

      04:08pm | 06/08/10

      I recon this would have made Kevvy hot and sweaty with Joolya whispering in his ear “..come on that’s in the past. thnk we can make it work again. We were so good for so long”.....

      Reply

    • JohnJones says:

      04:13pm | 06/08/10

      More like:
      JG: Hey kev, you want that job at the UN?
      KR: Yeah
      JG: Well help me shaft the stupid voters again and I’ll pay the UN $3,000,000 to create a spot for you.

      Reply

    • Gregg says:

      04:22pm | 06/08/10

      Bettcha T psg hslf2

      Reply

    • john Williams says:

      04:41pm | 06/08/10

      Ho Ho Ho David Penberthy.
      Listen up sunshine. The press is the defender of our freedoms. Or so they continually tell us when their own little patch is threatened in any way.
      Might I suggest that you ...and the rest of the press, but notably the Canberra Press gallery, start treating this election campaign as something more than a sideshow at the bloody Ekka.
      Australia is a laughing stock because this election is a complete and utter farce, and the Rudd/Gillard/GillRudd/Faceless Men are to blame.
      Lay off Abbott? Absolutely not…if you find the evidence of incompetence or stupidity, go for it.
      Trouble is it is becoming increasingly clear the Press…collectively, there are exceptions….would struggle to know the difference.

      Reply
    • David Penberthy

      David Penberthy says:

      05:07pm | 06/08/10

      dear sir. i think you’ll find that quite a lot of dour and lofty stuff has been published along the lines you request. we thought that late on a friday as the rubbity beckons that we’d offer some half-baked inane garbage instead. have a good weekend

    • TrueOz says:

      05:40pm | 06/08/10

      Lighten up a bit john Williams. It doesn’t matter who wins - the last laugh is on all of us.

    • Journo of SFL says:

      06:10pm | 06/08/10

      Actually John, you have got it wrong. The press’s 3 central functions are to inform, educate and entertain. Whilst we may defend your freedom as a consequence of this, our principle aim is to inform the public with ‘their right to know”.

      News is defined as “1. a contemporary event, issue, circumstance or tragedy. Also: a surprise , expose, embarassment, conflict, accident, dilemma, prognostication. 2. supposition, rumour, ‘kite flying’, fantasy, fiction (The Daily Miracle).

      So in essence,  David Penberthy has ticked all the boxes..informing, educating and entertaining the public of the sometimes embarassing antics of politics!

    • 6c legs says:

      11:51pm | 06/08/10

      Penbo, “... quite a lot of dour and lofty stuff has been published…”

      Really?
      Where, when?

    • Reg says:

      02:46pm | 07/08/10

      Nor should we be surprised that the Liberal fab-boyz have gone along with the “half baked inane garbage” and actually think it’s funny.  The product of the post-Friday afternoon piss-up don’t ever raise a smile amongst discerning readers.

    • nosthow says:

      05:03pm | 06/08/10

      Great stuff Penbo - ads a bit of humour to this dull campaign - should be more of it . ur gr8 !

      Reply

    • TimB says:

      05:43pm | 06/08/10

      Don’t worry Nosthow, Im sure the circus that is the ALP will continue to provide many more laughs in the days to come raspberry

    • nosthow says:

      09:45pm | 06/08/10

      @Tim B - loved your raspberry Timmy !

    • DaS Energy says:

      05:31pm | 06/08/10

      No offers just a hint from Julia and Kev on drugs charging forward to save the punter from Tony.

      KR: I barely know what day it is. Taking lots of drugs

      JG: was the operation bad?

      KR: I wasn’t talking about the operation

      Reply

    • The Chosen One 2291 says:

      05:35pm | 06/08/10

      Good sh*T Penbo! It is good to have a laff about the terrible two. But for sure the ol kevin has been offered a good Ego Deal to come aboard the sinking ship.  I just hope the leaks come out even moreabout them two as they deserve ridicule like no other. This is just another spin and con from both of them-boy, it must have been some deal he got.

      Reply

    • DaS Energy says:

      05:35pm | 06/08/10

      Is there a prize for who decifers : ROTFLMFAO

      Reply

    • Crusader says:

      06:38pm | 06/08/10

      I don’t know if there is, but I’ll give it a shot because of my hate of long acronyms:
      “Rolling on the floor laughing my f**king ass off”
      Remove the asterisks if you like or change it if you have a better one.

    • Gregg says:

      07:54pm | 06/08/10

      Rollin on the floor laughing my f…...g or fat a…. off.

    • Patrick says:

      09:11am | 07/08/10

      . . . Rolling on the floor laughing my effing arse off?

      Learn2l337sp34k

    • Soames says:

      05:51pm | 06/08/10

      Penbo, onya mate, humour lifts us all, in spite of the post from an individual with a similar name to a guitar picker. One would ask though, If perhaps the common phrase, ‘lets get a room’ was intentionally a ‘no no’ here. It’s humour. Pity.

      Reply

    • Brad Coward says:

      05:59pm | 06/08/10

      I love this political stuff when it is reported verbatim !

      Reply

    • Gregg says:

      07:58pm | 06/08/10

      You should have seen the one from Kruddy to Latham and poor ol piggy Paul is green with envy he doesn’t know how to text and has to rely on posting Bob letters.

    • Joolz says:

      08:44pm | 06/08/10

      LMAO

      Reply

    • Razor says:

      11:18pm | 06/08/10

      So, they aren’t sexting each other?

      Reply

    • Reg says:

      08:06am | 07/08/10

      Ha ha,, well back to kindergarten, David.You had better have a little rest as this effort must have overexercised yout brain.

      Reply

    • Fred of Currimundi says:

      08:21am | 07/08/10

      A very good joke. Wonder how long it did take you to get this all together. As a not so good ‘texter’ myself, I did learn some more abbreviations to use.

      Reply

    • Tony says:

      08:29am | 07/08/10

      You havent got any more sms,s from John Williams have you? That was just as funny as your blog. Much more bile and gall than Kevie.

      Reply

    • David Mitchell says:

      10:03am | 07/08/10

      FOMCLMAO

      Reply

    • Rosie says:

      11:42am | 07/08/10

      Thank you David, I really enjoyed it but enjoyed it even more after I had to ask my 11 year old grandson what ROTFLMAO meant!

      I am learning but what made me laugh was the Get Up young voters that won their case and nothing else mattered to them but the internet filter. Thank goodness Jockey Hockey gave them an assurance in exchange for their vote.

      Can any of u c Howard textg Costello or Tony - Bbishop?

      Hve a gr8 wkend folks! 14 more sleeps!

      Reply

    • thelegendone says:

      01:22pm | 07/08/10

      if only this was real and true
      i dont belive any of it

      Reply

    • Patrick says:

      05:54pm | 07/08/10

      Gotta watch this guy, he’s on your case Penbo.

    • pavlo says:

      12:34am | 08/08/10

      @thelegendone
      it’s called ‘satire’ (no, it’s not an Adelaide tyre replacement company) – look it up, after you’ve trimmed your mullet and plaited your kid’s rat tails

    • Jay says:

      07:24am | 08/08/10

      I’m sure the only texting being done is by Laurie. 
      Ms Gillard BER has been questioned vigorously by Kerry and others about talking to Kev on the phone and if she had been doing a blackberry I’m sure she would have jumped at the chance to let it be exposed.

      Reply

    • Marg says:

      09:42am | 08/08/10

      Good to see you back on track Penbo, I was afraid you had gone over to the dark side…. It’s always good to have a laugh at the end of the week. smile

      Reply

    • Ian says:

      05:58pm | 09/08/10

      Frigging classic mate, best laff I’ve had in ages.

      Reply

    • acai pills says:

      01:50am | 03/12/10

      Suddenly Any,opportunity dinner volume development from natural assume official somewhat ancient suggest elderly bottle step reaction border clean study secondary task own politics paint household announce enough clear application prepare image off turn themselves student support shall church colour provision critical already past arrangement involve next be hope total settle volume language building concentration handle surely office before basis today tell if peace whose care equal help somewhat gun sit suitable girl nearly principle parent control annual just intend damage correct post educational brief lack individual object serious empty similar affect high

      Reply
 
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