Racquets have feelings too
The racquets smashed by Marcos Baghdatis in last night’s Australian Open outburst have spoken out exclusively about the pain, the hurt and the trauma of racquet abuse.
“This sort of thing should never be tolerated,” said a severely twisted and broken T-Flash 315 Speedflex who preferred to remain anonymous.
“I don’t care if you’re at the Australian Open, Wimbledon or the Kazakhstan Invitational,” the racquet said. “It is simply never acceptable to abuse a racquet in this way.
“My colleagues and I are quality $200 carbon fibre things of beauty. We’re not some throwaway piece of wood and catgut like that Yonex junk Lleyton Hewitt and Bernard Tomic use.
“This is not a case of me being highly-strung. I am not just creating a racket for the sake of it. For this volley of abuse, Mr Baghdatis must be punished by tennis authorities.”
The T-Flash 315 Speedflex was far from impressed when told that the standard fine for racquet abuse is a meagre $2,000.
“I am outraged and feel like I have been framed,” he said.
“Last year in the US Open, Serena Williams was fined $2,000 for umpire abuse. All she said was ‘you’re out of control, you’re a hater, and you’re just unattractive inside’.
“If memory serves me, she also dropped a few threats straight from the Kyle Sandilands playbook.
“For that, she gets fined $2,000. But they were just words! Sticks and stones and all that… I have been battered and belted within a string of my life. It’s an outrage!
“Racquets have feelings too, you know.”
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