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Putting the hard questions to Ron ‘the Hedgehog’ Jeremy

Tory Shepherd

by Tory Shepherd

15 Nov 12:30pm

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Filed under: Politics, Porn, Pornograph, Ron Jeremy, Sex

83 comments

I was chatting away to the legendary Ron Jeremy about politics, as you do, then tried to move the question to the porn industry. “Oh, you wanna talk about my penis?”, he asked.


“Um. Do you want to talk about your penis?” I replied.

“Nah, it’s fine. It talks for itself,” he said.

And it does, apparently, blogging and tweeting under the handle @RonsMonster. So there you go. I did want to confirm his size, though. So I asked him.

“Two inches,” he replied.

“From the ground.”

He also refers to his ‘monster’ as a ‘schmeckel’. A Yiddish word for penis. “You wanna give it a kiss because it’s so cute,” he said.

It’s like dirty dad jokes all day with this guy.

Ron ‘the Hedgehog’ Jeremy is a legend by any account. Just look at the numbers: He’s been involved in more than 2000 films, he’s had sex with anywhere up to 5000 women (“between three or four thousand, maybe five,” he says). He’s nearly 60 and he’s still going hard (sorry).

Lately, the star of films such as Orgazmo has been doing music videos with the likes of Kid Rock, LMFAO, and Guns N Roses.

As if he’s not already over-exposed, there was a ‘Ron Jeremy for President’ campaign running recently with the tagline: “You’re going to get screwed anyway, might as well get screwed by a pro!”.

One of his biggest concerns right now is what a new law forcing porn stars to wear condoms will do to the Los Angeles industry. Health advocates say it’s necessary, but the porn industry is resolutely opposed to it, saying fans don’t want to see condoms.

Jeremy says the rules only affect LA, so it’ll just destroy the industry there and people in New York and Las Vegas will continue to make condom-free films. 

“Congratulations, you’ve now outsourced the porn business,” he said. What’s next, he wanted to know, dental dams? “You know why they call them dental dams. Damn if I’d ever wear one!”.

I had one more question to put to him: Why did he stop doing his signature move?

“I was doing it until there was no need for it because the novelty was over,” he said.

“People weren’t interested in it anymore.”

People also aren’t so interested in porn films anymore; the internet with its limitless free porn and amateur sites means far fewer films like Killer School Girls from Outer Space or The Devil in Miss Jones.

But people are still interested in Jeremy, and he’s on his way to Australia for Sexpo at the end of the month and for the Eros Shine Awards on November 29.

Twitter: @ToryShepherd

Comments on this post will close at 8pm AEDST.

Most commented

83 comments

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    • Economist says:

      11:43am | 15/11/12

      Admit it Tory you put this article up in the hope for a Zeta comment wink

      Reply

    • subotic Does Dallas says:

      02:24pm | 15/11/12

      How cool, the pic for this post is straight of the “Ron de Jeremy” rum website.

      Gotta hand it to ya Tory, 5 minutes on the phone with Ron is worth a lifetime of VHS tapes on fast forward….

    • Haxton Waag says:

      05:34pm | 15/11/12

      I have no clue what a Zeta comment is. Enlighten me, please?

    • S.L says:

      12:01pm | 15/11/12

      I will admit to having watched a couple of Ron Jeremy movies when a younger man and besides the obvious attraction of such flicks he also makes a pastime of taking the p*ss out of himself.
      I know a couple of people (of both genders) who have met him at previous sexpo’s and say he’s a nice guy.

      Reply

    • Matthew says:

      02:14pm | 15/11/12

      My brother-in-law said he’s a nice guy too.  Porn is just a job for him so he just does it like we do ours.

    • AFR says:

      02:48pm | 15/11/12

      Met him at a DVD signing in the old HMV store in Pitt St m,all about 10 years ago. Seemed a nice enough fellow.

    • TheRealDave says:

      12:03pm | 15/11/12

      Finally! A Mens related article for Movember!

      Reply

    • James says:

      01:05pm | 15/11/12

      Real men don’t look at porn.

    • Mahhrat says:

      01:35pm | 15/11/12

      @James:  Real men make porn?

    • CJ says:

      02:43pm | 15/11/12

      James men and women watch porn.
      Men and women make porn.
      Just because it’s not your cup of tea it doesn’t mean watching porn or not is the judge of whether you’re a man or not.

    • Ex says:

      12:04pm | 15/11/12

      Just ‘happened’ to be ‘chatting away’

      Reply

    • Rowdy says:

      12:26pm | 15/11/12

      @Ex…..Indeed…..and I bet he only came to clean the pool.

    • Angry_Of_Mayfair says:

      01:05pm | 15/11/12

      ....while delivering a pizza. Bom chicka wow wow.

    • Peter says:

      12:17pm | 15/11/12

      Signature move? Which one?
      The Dirty Sanchez?
      The Cincinnatti Bowtie?
      The Dutch Handshake?
      The Somalian Thickshake?

      Reply

    • Trevor says:

      12:40pm | 15/11/12

      Autofellatio!

    • Angry_Of_Mayfair says:

      01:06pm | 15/11/12

      Transport of delight?

    • Peter says:

      01:15pm | 15/11/12

      Hmm. Autofellatio. I guess he’s like a dog then for the reason why he does it ...

    • Wayne Kerr says:

      12:17pm | 15/11/12

      I remember seeing his “signature” move in a movie when I was 18 or 19. That would have been in the early 80’s so he was relatively young then too.  Me and my mates thought it was the funniest thing.

      Reply

    • david says:

      12:20pm | 15/11/12

      I actually learned something today. The porn industry, like the catholic church, is resolutely opposed to the use of condoms. In this instance though it appears to be okay.

      Reply

    • St. Michael says:

      12:38pm | 15/11/12

      Um, actually, no.  Benedict recently said that use of condoms was fine so long as it was with the intent of securing one’s health.  So actually, the porn industry is still opposed to the Catholic Church. smile

    • Gary T says:

      12:43pm | 15/11/12

      Good one David. ‘king other people is also pretty rife

    • sunny says:

      12:25pm | 15/11/12

      If he’s ever low on work prospects in pornos, politics or the music industry then he’ll easily get work as a pool cleaner.

      Reply

    • Dean says:

      12:26pm | 15/11/12

      Wow, Tory. Some free advertising for the sex industry, hey? A billion-dollar industry based on the degradation, dehumanisation, and commodification of women. Oh, but if you want to talk misogyny you can’t bring porn into it - you need only look to the opposition, right?
      Do some research - pornography is detrimental, addictive, and destructive. I know far too many people who have been and/or still are its victims. It affects a person mentally, emotionally, physically, and socially and ruins relationships. If porn is so healthy, why are we still so sick?
      Disappointed.

      Reply

    • TheRealDave says:

      12:37pm | 15/11/12

      Pornography is excellent for your hearing.

      I can hear footsteps coming down the hallway from 20m…..and my one handed typing has improved 320%...

    • St. Michael says:

      12:44pm | 15/11/12

      But Dean! The highest pinnacle to which a female can sexually aspire is to embody The Slut!

      What? Naomi Wolf said so herself: ““We should redeem the slut in ourselves and rejoice in being bad girls.”  It’s from Promiscuities, the one document possibly more photocopied in Leftie feminist university courses than “The Female Eunuch”.

      When confronted with this line in respect of her 11 year old daughter, Wolf’s response was interesting, though… (full interview at http://www.abc.net.au/sundayprofile/stories/s1626329.htm)

      Julia Baird: In Promiscuities as you I think at one point you say, “We should redeem the slut in ourselves and rejoice in being bad girls.” I mean do you think women have gone too far now?
      Naomi Wolf: Too far? In a way I do. Here’s what, okay, let me back up a little. It’s interesting how the slut we want to reclaim as an ex-teenage girl is not the slut you want your daughter to reclaim as a mother of an almost teenaged girl. It’s like – honey, my slut is fine, but you keep your slut in the closet!
      Julia Baird: Have you had this discussion?
      Naomi Wolf: No but I’m very very careful about she’s exposed to, what she reads, because the culture aimed at teenage girls is so disgusting now. And it wasn’t when I wrote Promiscuities . In fact this raunchy culture aimed at teenaged girls is exactly the subject of my next book that I’m working on now about exactly how Paris Hilton became an icon and why. It’s really tied to and I do realise this, to marketing.

      I don’t think that it’s transgressive anymore or teenage girls need to reclaim their inner slut. It’s incredibly conformant and conventional unfortunately. They’re all being raised and pushed to produce you know, someone else’s slut, it’s not their own inner slut.

      So I don’t think that that battle cry is useful as a contrarian position. I would like to refine it right now, I think it’s really important for teenaged girls to reclaim their inner sexual self consciousness and self respect and their inner you know ‘inner prude’ if you want to. I mean whatever their inner sexual being wants and needs to do that’s good for them. I guess because now the culture pushes so much the other way.

      LOL.  Feminist now agrees with reclaiming your inner prude?

    • Trevor says:

      12:45pm | 15/11/12

      As Ron Jeremy himself says: Isn’t porn also degrading for men? Women consume porn almost as much as men, and I would suspect that it might be even moer except its still fairly taboo for a female to admit to enjoying a bit of porn.

      Commodification of women? Oh please. Following that logic football is the commodification of men etc etc.

      What’s sicker- watching a two (or three or more) people enjoying sex or watching the latest hollywood blockbuster full of people killing and maiming each other?

      The 1950s called, they want their warped sense of morality back.

    • St. Michael says:

      12:46pm | 15/11/12

      But Dean! The highest pinnacle to which a female can sexually aspire is to embody The Slut!

      What? Naomi Wolf said so herself: ““We should redeem the slut in ourselves and rejoice in being bad girls.”  It’s from Promiscuities, the one document possibly more photocopied in Leftie feminist university courses than “The Female Eunuch”.

      When confronted with this line in respect of her 11 year old daughter, Wolf’s response was interesting, though… (full interview at http://www.abc.net.au/sundayprofile/stories/s1626329.htm)

      Julia Baird: In Promiscuities as you I think at one point you say, “We should redeem the slut in ourselves and rejoice in being bad girls.” I mean do you think women have gone too far now?
      Naomi Wolf: Too far? In a way I do. Here’s what, okay, let me back up a little. It’s interesting how the slut we want to reclaim as an ex-teenage girl is not the slut you want your daughter to reclaim as a mother of an almost teenaged girl. It’s like – honey, my slut is fine, but you keep your slut in the closet!
      Julia Baird: Have you had this discussion?
      Naomi Wolf: No but I’m very very careful about she’s exposed to, what she reads, because the culture aimed at teenage girls is so disgusting now. And it wasn’t when I wrote Promiscuities . In fact this raunchy culture aimed at teenaged girls is exactly the subject of my next book that I’m working on now about exactly how Paris Hilton became an icon and why. It’s really tied to and I do realise this, to marketing.

      I don’t think that it’s transgressive anymore or teenage girls need to reclaim their inner slut. It’s incredibly conformant and conventional unfortunately. They’re all being raised and pushed to produce you know, someone else’s slut, it’s not their own inner slut.

      So I don’t think that that battle cry is useful as a contrarian position. I would like to refine it right now, I think it’s really important for teenaged girls to reclaim their inner sexual self consciousness and self respect and their inner you know ‘inner prude’ if you want to. I mean whatever their inner sexual being wants and needs to do that’s good for them. I guess because now the culture pushes so much the other way.

      LOL.  Feminist now agrees with reclaiming your inner prude?

    • S.L says:

      12:48pm | 15/11/12

      Dean are you really Deanne?

    • simonfromlakemba says:

      12:49pm | 15/11/12

      How can you be a victim of porn? Only yourself to blame there.

    • Economist says:

      01:12pm | 15/11/12

      The Real Dave - 20 metres? Do you live in Carnegie Hall? rich people Pfft.

      One hand typing try no hands buddy!

      Dean isn’t the saying a billion dollars can’t be wrong?

    • Dean says:

      01:23pm | 15/11/12

      St. Michael,
      Where in my comment did I claim to be a feminist or have any affiliation with feminists? I simply stated the facts. Facts that obviously cannot be handled by grown men and women. The porn consumer does not want the truth because the truth means accepting that their indulgence is doing more harm than good. Try Googling ‘your brain on porn’ and prepare to be educated.

      PS: S.L, assuming I am a woman is really unfortunate for the male gender. Are you not used to a civilised man?

    • Baloo says:

      01:52pm | 15/11/12

      Dean and Colin should be tennis partners or something.

    • Rocksteady says:

      02:07pm | 15/11/12

      Are you serious Dean? Alcohol is detrimental, addictive and destructive. Yet millions of people consume it everyday without the world collapsing.

      If we are all “so sick” then why is life expectancy increasing in nearly every country on earth?

    • Liz says:

      02:25pm | 15/11/12

      Dean, I am a woman & I watch more porn that the majority of my male friends. I’m not sick, in fact I’m perfectly healthy =) & as a woman I don’t find porn degrading in the slightest.
      Please get off your high horse & stop blaming porn for the issues YOU have with the world.

    • St. Michael says:

      02:38pm | 15/11/12

      I’m not disagreeing with you, Dean.  The Hunch, if not English, needs a sarcasm character.

    • CJ says:

      02:48pm | 15/11/12

      “A billion-dollar industry based on the degradation, dehumanisation, and commodification of women. “

      All that male on male porn is degrading to women? Did you know there is a higher rate of gay porn produced as a percentage of all porn, than the percentage of gay people in society?
      Couples enjoy porn. Women enjoy porn. Women are involved in making porn.  If you doubt me I know a few and can introduce you to them.  You might be surprised to learn a few things.

    • Tubesteak says:

      02:55pm | 15/11/12

      Porn is neither derogatory, demeaning, detrimental, addictive or destructive.

      I bet you follow Gail Dines. Now there’s a clueless harpie if ever there was one!

    • egg says:

      03:06pm | 15/11/12

      Ugh, Dean, really? Why is it that people always talk about how “degrading” porn is, but only for women? Do you know how much these women are paid, for a start?

      I’m a chick, I watch porn, and the only why I am “mentally, emotionally and physically” effected is by being in a slightly better mood for the rest of the day.

      Porn is fine. Porn is fun. Grow up.

    • Philosopher says:

      03:23pm | 15/11/12

      is this the same Naomi Wolf who believes that vaginas are sentient, intelligent life forms that exist in symbiosis with the woman?

    • St. Michael says:

      03:40pm | 15/11/12

      @ Philosopher: Well, in the Wolf’s defence, Stephen King did once say “A penis may have no conscience, but some c—ts have teeth.”

    • TheRealDave says:

      03:50pm | 15/11/12

      Tell me I am not the only bloke here that thought…hmmm…Liz and Egg in a pool of lime jelly…..*bow chika bow wow*...


      anyone???

      .....call me!

    • Philosopher says:

      04:30pm | 15/11/12

      St. Michael, have you seen the film ‘Teeth’? Hilarious! Puts a new facet on ‘safe sex’...

    • Trevor says:

      12:39pm | 15/11/12

      I feel that I should sue Mr Jeremy as I threw my back out trying to master his ‘signature move’- autofellatio.

      Had I mastered it though it would have saved me the hell of marriage.

      Reply

    • St. Michael says:

      01:11pm | 15/11/12

      You *were* born with two hands, you know.  And there are such things as baby oil, grease, butter, shampoo…

    • TheRealDave says:

      01:13pm | 15/11/12

      Had I mastered it I’d have almost no reason to leave the house….

    • the cynic says:

      01:28pm | 15/11/12

      Who the hell is Ron Jeremy ? Never heard of him, and what is the point of this story?  I like sex with women, a bit of smut like most people, sexists jokes, racist jokes, country music, AC DC my 2 dogs , wine beer great food and Tony Abbott.  What have I missed in life?

    • TheRealDave says:

      02:00pm | 15/11/12

      ICB - how can you be an adult male and not have heard of Ron Jeremy??

    • JoniM says:

      02:12pm | 15/11/12

      @ the cynic
      ” What have I missed in life?:”

      You obviously missed out on that old chestnut, Autofellatio !

    • TheRealDave says:

      02:51pm | 15/11/12

      I get it Joni - chest - nuts….and autofellatio….

    • Philosopher says:

      03:42pm | 15/11/12

      Trevor, a quick spine operation in Thailand will fix that little problem. It’s called ‘The Enabler’ and involves removing several vertebrae to increase flexibility wink

    • DirtyOldMan says:

      12:53pm | 15/11/12

      And so the normalisation of porn continues. We live in a very sexualised society, peoples value (both men and women) is being more and more attached to how sexually commodifable they are.
      We all know who the porn celebrities are, we have articles on them in news papers.

      Now don’t get me wrong. I myself watch porn, I will admit it.
      I myself know these sexual terms and slang, but I still get annoyed when people can’t say them innocently in conversations without inviting sniggers, and I still get annoyed by having it all stuff in the public eye, where kids can see it, get ideas of what to search for on the internet.

      Reply

    • Trevor says:

      01:25pm | 15/11/12

      “And so the normalisation of porn continues”

      Look on the bright side- you’ll be able to change your screen name.

    • JoniM says:

      02:17pm | 15/11/12

      Or in the famous words of footy legend Rex Mossop , ......”“I don’t think the male genitals or the female genitals should be rammed down people’s throats … to use a colloquialism” !

    • Tubesteak says:

      02:59pm | 15/11/12

      Everything is a commodity. You sell your time to an employer for reimbursement. You use that reimbursement to buy a house, food and clothing. You use these things to impress a woman enough to gout with you. You keep her around because she has sex with you and makes you sammiches.

      Humans are not special. We are monkeys that can talk better than other monkeys.

    • Lezzas THE man says:

      01:03pm | 15/11/12

      The man is a true hero. He proves that overweight, balding, back haired, not overly attractive can still have no holds barred hot sex with many, many women.
      GO JEREMEY

      Reply

    • Baloo says:

      01:33pm | 15/11/12

      But.. They’re being paid for it..

    • Bear says:

      03:40pm | 15/11/12

      HEs being paid for it. That makes him doubly a legend. Guys usually do the paying.

    • Chris L says:

      03:42pm | 15/11/12

      @Baloo - One way or another, you always pay for it.

    • Jeremey Rules says:

      04:26pm | 15/11/12

      Even better!!!

    • Donny Darko says:

      01:04pm | 15/11/12

      Quality journalism

      Reply

    • Luigi says:

      01:11pm | 15/11/12

      Good one Trevor!!!!  LMFAO

      Reply

    • DirtyOldMan says:

      01:14pm | 15/11/12

      More normalisation of porn… thanks Tory.
      Not sure if my other comment got through, computer problems.
      But I just wanted to say I think society is getting too sexualised, porn is more mainstream, porn stars names are widely known.
      Yes, I watch porn but I get annoyed when people accidentally say something that is a sexual/porn slang term quite innocently and everyone sniggers. Everyone must be watching porn, and I don’t think this was the case all that long ago. I don’t know what damage it does, I think for starters we all are more judgemental and judged more on our attractiveness, sexual prowess, performance etc.
      I don’t see the need for it to be “mainstreamised”, it just gives kids more search terms to look up on google and that bothers me.

      Reply

    • Lamington says:

      01:37pm | 15/11/12

      Glorification of the female genitalia in pre-pubescent form? Pornography breeds pedophilia.

      Reply

    • Trevor says:

      02:59pm | 15/11/12

      Oh get off it.

      Do you go for men with beards? Most women don’t- are they yearning for pre-pubescent boys? Men shaving their faces has been in fashion long before the brazilian wax, you could say it’s a matriarchal conspiracy! You could, but a sane person wouldn’t.

      Feminist pseudo offence- god it gives me the shits.

    • CJ says:

      03:45pm | 15/11/12

      Lamington you’ll find that magazines such as Picture and People are bound to airbrush female genitalia - removing the appearance of inner labia - so they can be sold unrestricted.
      More explicit porn shows the full flower of female genitalia. In some ways it is healthier for female body image.
      Speaking of female body image Australian classification rules will not allow adult women with small breasts to participate in porn. The reason is that they are classed as “under developed” and could be seen to represent adolescence, What message does this give to small breasted women? They aren’t women?  Women of the age of consent of all shapes and sizes should be appear in adult material.

    • Maryjane says:

      05:32pm | 15/11/12

      Pornography breeds laughter.  Doing sex is great fun but watching other people doing sex makes me laugh.  It looks pretty stupid.

    • BTS says:

      02:09pm | 15/11/12

      I flew from Dallas to LA on the same plane as Ron last year.

      1) He’s creepy
      2) He’s adored in LA

      Reply

    • St. Michael says:

      03:42pm | 15/11/12

      ...Five Mile High club?

    • David V. says:

      02:44pm | 15/11/12

      Tory hates the people who work the hardest to make our country what it is, and hates people who are actually good and responsible fathers and husbands.

      Reply

    • tabloidtightarse says:

      03:02pm | 15/11/12

      Funny article and the comments that followed show that in spite of rampant political correctness, etc. the sense of humour somehow survives! I am just not certain if Ron was gifted or afflicted!

      Reply

    • TheRealDave says:

      03:20pm | 15/11/12

      The one and only issue I have with porn, and I may have mentioned it on the punch at some stage, is that, as a healthy modern bloke who is no stranger to porn, I am a little disturbed by the trend that the ‘money shot’, if you will, seems to need to be a ‘facial’....It would seem that this needs to be the climax (yes, I mean that one) of every scene, even on your webcam home amatuer uploads.

      Now, I have led a pretty active and adventurous life and without ‘tooting my own horn’ *snigger* I’ve partied with a lot of ladies over the years until I met my missus and I could just about lay money down that if I decided to ‘finish off’, as mentioned above, I more than likely would not get an offer of a repeat performance. My missus would probably ‘Bobbitt’ me.

      That is the only area were I might have some relation to the wowser element that thinks porn causes global warming and babies to die…..

      Reply

    • Trevor says:

      03:49pm | 15/11/12

      I’ve met a fair few women who like it, but I do agree, I wince a bit when I see it. 

      However I think i read here on the Punch a while back, a commentator noted that the church in the US actually lobbied to have laws created stipulating that ejaculation be shown in pornos, in the belief that seeing male semen would put men off watching it.

      As with all ‘good intentions’, it had a reverse result: Bukkake porn would be a case in point.

    • kevin morgan says:

      03:30pm | 15/11/12

      should sex be a spectator sport?

      Reply

    • St. Michael says:

      03:40pm | 15/11/12

      Porn certainly is.

    • Daz says:

      04:08pm | 15/11/12

      Can’t believe Tory did an article on the length of a man’s dick! Can I write one now on how big the boobs are of my favourite porn slut? Or would that be sexist? Certainly couldn’t be misogynist cause I love them!

      Reply

    • AudraBlue says:

      04:16pm | 15/11/12

      Every time you auto fellate a puppy dies…..

      Reply

    • stephen says:

      04:42pm | 15/11/12

      Fella, you outa dip your head, please.

    • TheRealDave says:

      05:56pm | 15/11/12

      If we could Audra the canine would have gone extinct about 37 minutes after the big fella upstairs booted us out of Eden….

    • Dann Da Mann says:

      04:46pm | 15/11/12

      Tory,is your article sexist? smile  I betcha gillard is laffing her pants off or it brings back memories for her. Anyway,great to read an article without fear or favor. I am not gay but I used to buy all his videos,actually I still have some.

      Reply

    • Alison says:

      05:11pm | 15/11/12

      I’m female and watch porn. I enjoy it, but would never shag a guy that looks like Ron Jeremy (give me Jenna Jameson any day!)

      Just a reminder guys, we aren’t all porn stars out there and spitting on your hand/my vagina just may not cut it sometimes! Perhaps, if you’re doing this - you’ve watched TOO much porn!

      I had never heard of Ron’s signature move and just googled it. OMG I nearly wet myself from laughter on the Wiki page - I honestly didn’t know men could do this.

      Reply

    • TheRealDave says:

      05:57pm | 15/11/12

      “we aren’t all porn stars out there and spitting on your hand/my vagina just may not cut it sometimes!”

      Damit!...I need a new move…..

    • Philosopher says:

      06:27pm | 15/11/12

      Alison, it’s considered the Holy Grail for men…

    • Tony of Poorakistan says:

      05:16pm | 15/11/12

      Interesting article. I’ve been reading others by Ernest Greene, Nina Hartley et al - they put forward strong arguments for not using condoms. 
       
      And, as a side note ... has anyone ever seen a dental dam in a porn movie? Why are male organs seen to be a harbinger of disease but not female?

      Reply
 
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Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

by Sarrah Le Marquand

251

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…

Nosebleed Section

choice ringside rantings

From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go

Tim says:

They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]

From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go

Kel says:

If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]

Light weight

Gentle jabs to the ribs

Superman needs saving

Superman needs saving

Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more

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