I went Christmas shopping on Saturday. And I did something unusual: I put some thought into what I was doing BEFORE I walked into the shopping centre. And so my Christmas shopping season for 2011 came to a swift and mostly painless end.


What got me through it intact? For one, I went in with a list of things I had to get for people. I also escaped the 45-minute-long Christmas-time parking queues by (miraculously) finding one in the backstreets. The third ingredient was doing it all two weeks before I usually would.

In light of this, I thought I’d throw it out there: Have you got any hot tips for escaping the Christmas shopping rush? Any tricks of the trade? I’ve heard a bunch of people say online is the way to go. What says you?

And it’s Monday, Punchers, what else is on your mind?

104 comments

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    • nihonin says:

      06:29am | 12/12/11

      Because Dad never can get the presents right for the kids, I just give mine $100.00 each, that way they can get what they really want, not what they tell me and hope I know what it is they actually want.  Of course I take them out shopping before I give them the money.  Sometimes they just put the $100 aside if they’re not wanting anything and put it towards something they really want.  Works for birthdays as well.

    • jay-ded says:

      06:36am | 12/12/11

      My kids want a dog, but they’re arguing over what type to get.  One wants a german shepherd, another wants a sausage dog and the other one wants a border collie.  Thought I’d get them a cute puppy photo of each of the dogs they like and then buy them a cat.  hehehehe evil mum strikes again.  wink

    • marley says:

      07:16am | 12/12/11

      Take ‘em to the RSPCA and pick out a shelter dog - you can probably find one that’s a combination of all three!

    • TimB says:

      07:38am | 12/12/11

      Good call. Cats > dogs.

      They’re quieter and a hell of a lot cleaner.

    • Anubis says:

      08:22am | 12/12/11

      @ Marley - Do the RSPCA trade in kids for shelter dogs? Sounds like a fair swap.

    • gobsmack says:

      08:45am | 12/12/11

      @TimB
      Agree that cats are cleaner.
      Mine jump one of the fences in the backyard when they need to poo.

    • nossy says:

      09:12am | 12/12/11

      @jay-ded   Border Collies jay-ded - magnificient dogs and we have two - the most intelligent dogs.

    • Seanr says:

      09:13am | 12/12/11

      I’m a cat person. Dogs are too needy; barking and drolling all the time, whining ‘take me for a walk’, “look at me look at me”

      You know where you stand with cats, they’ll come get a pat and affection when they want it, put the food out and they are fine. Mostly it’s “leave me the hell alone human, I’ll call you when I require your assistance”.

      My old cat was 19 when he died nearly 10 years ago, loved that animal haven’t had the heart to get another one since.

    • fairsfair says:

      10:32am | 12/12/11

      Cats FTW - even though mine is an absolute jerkface and I do love my parent’s Kelpie - cats are just better.

    • neo says:

      10:44am | 12/12/11

      Go team cats!

      I do love dobermans though, great looking dogs.

    • ausspud says:

      12:29pm | 12/12/11

      Border collie
      Cat’s have no personality,all they do is eat,shit & sleep.
      Stubborn little bastards.

    • Jade says:

      02:33pm | 12/12/11

      Good family dogs are Cavalier King Charles Spaniels. Just make sure you find a good breeder who does all of the health checks. They are friendly, easy to look after (will need a brush once a week though), easy to train.

      I’ve got two AmStaffies, they are just like children (or what I imagine kids will be like) but my next dog will be a Cav.

      Or find a rescue dog, they always have some fantastic dogs available… http://www.petrescue.com.au

    • Wynston Cruso says:

      04:28pm | 12/12/11

      lol fairs. I think that’s why people who like cats like them, because they’re jerkfaces and arseholes, just the cool kind.

    • Robert Smissen Of rural SA says:

      10:09pm | 12/12/11

      TimB, yeah but when did you ever hear of a cat rescuing a family, cats shit anywhere, dogs always dump in the same area, far easier to poop scoop. My German Short Haired pointer (42kg) catches & kills mice, 25 in one week, not to mention he keeps the pigeon population down too.

    • Mahhrat says:

      07:11am | 12/12/11

      Online, Online, gotta get your presents Online!!

      The only things left for me to buy this Christmas is a voucher for an in-law and the fresh produce I need to make the foods for the big day.

      I’ve bought presents from the U.S, Ireland, Scotland, and some few things from the shops undoubtedly made in China.

      What a global world we live in!

    • onlooker says:

      07:15am | 12/12/11

      My son is 40 and no grandchildren, what do you give a 40 year old man? They have everything, so I just bought $200.00 Bunning’s Vouchers.He loves to tinker so maybe he can find something himself. Christmas really is for children, they get a delight and a sense of wonder about gifts and Santa that as you get older many of us lose.

    • Mahhrat says:

      08:48am | 12/12/11

      No man I know would turn down a hardware voucher.  If you’re truly stuck (I hate vouchers as a rule), then you can’t go wrong with hardware stores.

    • ausspud says:

      12:11pm | 12/12/11

      A girlfriend,get him started on those grandkids wink

    • neo says:

      12:25pm | 12/12/11

      Disagree, I already have a tool set, and that’s all I’ll need for a while (haven’t used it for a while, even). Clearly a good choice for onlooker’s son, as he sounds like an enthusiast, but hardly a good gift for any man.

    • Sickemrex says:

      07:16am | 12/12/11

      Computer on, glass of preferred beverage, shopping list. But don’t tell Gerry Norman. The last three times I braced myself to enter a KMart or Target, they didn’t actually have the item I wanted. Strange, as a catalogue proudly advertising said items had been placed in my letterbox just days before.

    • Mahhrat says:

      08:49am | 12/12/11

      That beverage is dangerous though.  My missus went drunk online shopping, bought some truly hideous jewellery that’s so bad she can’t even fob it off as presents!

    • Mark G says:

      07:28am | 12/12/11

      I have two points of advice on xmas shopping:

      1. Buy presents for the following year at the after xmas sales and even better the mid year sales. You will same yourself a bucket of money and avoid most of the last minute xmas shopping blues.

      2. Layby throughout the year. Then all you have to do in the lead up to xmas is pick up the presents. You also spread the cost out through the year.

    • Joan Bennett says:

      07:29am | 12/12/11

      As Materialism requires a lack of thought, you must have left without buying anything.  Wish everyone would stop writing articles on how they bought unnecessary “stuff” because they have a thing about a certain date.  Humans invented the calendar and nature doesn’t care if it’s your birthday, Christmas or whatever.  If a tsunami is going to hit, it will hit no matter what day it is in the minds of a bunch of homo sapiens.  If only we could get on with the business of living instead of having to boost our ridiculous egos with “special days”.  World might be a better place without the human ego…

    • ausspud says:

      12:15pm | 12/12/11

      So guess you’ll be ditching your computer then.

    • Sarah says:

      12:27pm | 12/12/11

      Far out! - There’s some bitterness in those words.

    • JY says:

      01:54pm | 12/12/11

      I bought blocks for my 2 year old cousin in a cart that he can pull along and the blocks have the alphabet and numbers on them, that way they can make an impression in dad’s forehead when they get chucked at him.

      bought my neice and nephew stuff for school next year and as their birthday is in January have bought them books to read…....

      oh wait…..you said you DIDN’T want people telling you what they bought, meh

    • Shenanigans says:

      08:07am | 12/12/11

      you can all blame this weather on my friend, it seems every time she washes her car it storms, yesterday, and the coming week apparently were and will be no different.

      anyway, Christmas shopping is annoying, i got mine out of the way in under 30 mins because i went in on a mission, ignored all the other shit and it was done faster then you can say bah-humbug. My main peeve is having to listen to those fucking annoying Christmas carols, almost made me want to set fire to the store.

    • JY says:

      01:57pm | 12/12/11

      wear headphones and listen to your own stuff, or shop online. I wear headphones and listen to my ipod when I am shopping by myself as I don’t like people bothering me when I am browsing, it’s also a great excuse when a friend spots you and you ignore them then you can say when they send you a nasty text, sorry was listening to music

    • jadas says:

      08:13am | 12/12/11

      I was recently fortunate enough to be reunited with this song after spending a recent christmas/new years period in mongolia, where it was played ad nauseum at every turn.  Only then did i realise that the chorus actually has a fantastic melody!  And the film clip… oh, well it makes me nostalgic for a place i’ve never been!

    • MargD says:

      08:22am | 12/12/11

      Next year I’m doing a Kris Kringle with the exception of Miss Mia who will be seven.  I think we put so much stress on ourselves at Christmas trying to spend lots of money on useless and unwanted gifts. With only one gift to buy you can really put some thought into it.  It doesn’t have to cost the earth either and you don’t feel you have to compete with the other person.

    • Jade says:

      09:05am | 12/12/11

      This is what my and the OH’s family do and then everyone just buys for the kids. My fam have a $50.00 limit and the OH’s $70, and we get a list of what everyone wants to everyone gets something good, instead of something they will never use! smile

    • JT says:

      09:58am | 12/12/11

      we stop giving gifts in my family once people turn 18, no Xmas, no B’day nothing if you’re under 18 you get presents but over 18 we have jobs so can buy what we want.

    • fairsfair says:

      10:29am | 12/12/11

      We buy a decent gift for birthdays and don’t partake in gift giving with the adults at Christmas. JT is spot on. We are all big enough and ugly enough to buy ourselves what we want anyway. Just keep the magic alive for the kids. I have fond memories of how much fun Christmas was as a child. Plus my brother is the worst gift giver ever, and as a family we just find it easier to not give presents than have to deal with his cr*p year in year out. 

      The kids get spoilt at Christmas and we have a meal together as a family. Dad is the youngest of ten from a staunch catholic poor family - Christmas was hell for him as a child. In 1976 he nursed a motorbike rider in the middle of the road while he died after being hit by a truck. He doesn’t have fond memories, so he doesn’t enjoy the day. We exchange cards with some nicely written messages because we are all to rediculous to actually say the words to each other. Its a delicate dodge of emotion - but still an fun time time. We are together as a family (well except for the brother who shafts us for the rich inlaws lake house and only shows up to get his kid’s gifts). 

      Merry Christmas.

    • AnthonyG says:

      08:12pm | 12/12/11

      Marg bad Idea. I prefer it when you buy us all a pressy. ps sorry for outing ya

    • Elphaba says:

      08:22am | 12/12/11

      I shopped online this year.  I started by setting aside a small amount of money from the beginning of the year right through until November and then bought most of my stuff online.  Anything that wasn’t online was already thought of and I just went to the shops and bought it - no browsing, no heartache.

      I posted the gifts on Friday and they should arrive by the end of the week.  Too easy. smile

    • NESLIHAN KUROSAWA says:

      08:35am | 12/12/11

      Hi Daniel,

      I must say that I am pleased very pleased with all the question marks!!  Because I truly think that intelligent people ask questions by the way!  I also have to add that I do personally just love all the glittering lights of the Christmas trees, lights & decorations.  The atmosphere of sharing, giving & caring makes me feel really good deep down inside!

      Last year we were in Cologne, Germany visiting my close friends around Christmas time & it was a beautiful white Christmas indeed!!  We went to the Dome Cathedral around midnight & noticed all the Germans were having champagne outside in the freezing temperatures of minus 10 degrees.  Even though it was chilly but wonderful sight indeed everything covered in white snow!!

      I do not remember the gifts exactly, but the actual photographs & memories were much more than any other present, ever!! This year because of the world wide economic crisis & protests, we have decided to downsize & cutback on our spending habits of the past.  You also forgot to tell us what you actually purchased for your loved ones.  I am just a last minute person & choose not to worry myself too much about the commercial side of giving!

      Children always come up on top of my list!  Other than that my company should more than enough when it comes to giving gifts, really!  I personally like books, perfume, chocolates & small gifts. I personally think it is all about making other people happy!  Best regards to your editors.

    • Daniel Piotrowski

      Daniel Piotrowski says:

      08:46am | 12/12/11

      Hey Neslihan, didn’t want to share everything I bought since occasionally my loved ones read what I write!

    • Sandle says:

      08:55am | 12/12/11

      I bought some pressies at the toy sales not too long ago. I have one pressie left to buy - and its the only one i’m buying for an adult. But what do you get your boyfriends mother whe you’ve only met her a handful of times?

    • Anubis says:

      09:41am | 12/12/11

      a grandchild?  Just putting it out there wink

    • Mahhrat says:

      10:28am | 12/12/11

      A card with you and he smiling on the front, you with your arms wrapped around him, a happy yet slightly triumphant look on your face.

      Inside, the words:  My Condolences.

    • Sandle says:

      11:44am | 12/12/11

      @Anubis: *chuckle* I think the authorities frown on child abductions!

      @Mahhrat: *chuckle* I don’t want to make the poor lady cry, Mahhrat - I’ve taken her ‘good’ son away from her, I’m surprised she hasn’t had me killed!

    • ausspud says:

      12:25pm | 12/12/11

      A gift certificate,if you’ve only met her a few times I dont think you should stress out about what to buy her.

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      10:27am | 12/12/11

      The whole Jobs Network scheme is an endless rort full of fraud. Bring back the CES anyday…..

    • iansand says:

      09:47am | 12/12/11

      1 Have a family that reads.  Buy online
      2 Arrive at shops as the doors open.  No crowds and fully staffed.  The sweet time lasts for about an hour before the hordes arrive.
      3 Buy in small shops - the staff customer ratio is often better and they know their stock.

    • iMitchy says:

      09:54am | 12/12/11

      My wife and I lay-by during the June sales and pay it off over the rest of the year. Not only do you beat the rush but you can get better presents and you don’t miss the money when the payments are stretched out. (This year the big one was a jumping castle for our daughter and, if it lasts long enough, for our twins when they are old enough). We picked up all our stuff on Saturday, one person jumped out of the car and made all of the final payments while the rest of us parked in the loading docks of each store and picked up the gear. Everything was wrapped and under the tree by mid-afternoon.
      The biggest tip: Target mid-year toy sale if you have kids to buy for although they often include some stuff for adults like bikes, trampolins, golf clubs, hopme gyms etc. They encourage the long term lay-by and have said loading dock at all stores.

    • KH says:

      09:58am | 12/12/11

      There are many sanity protecting strategies:
      1. Stocking fillers and small gifts - buy them in June when the mid year sales are on or even just randomly through the year.  No one will know they have been in your cupboard for 6 months unless you tell them.
      2. Online - especially to overseas or interstate family/friends - get it delivered directly to them - saves in postage.  Just send them a nice card.
      3. Pick your target and show up early - i.e. when the doors open.  Less people = less stress. 
      4. Go by yourself.  No one to slow you down, no one to talk you into wasting time drinking coffee (just puts off the inevitable!!), and no one to hassle you.
      5. Give gift cards that are usable - not some obscure store or spa type thing unless you know for a fact the person will use it.  Myer/DJ type ones are the best - these stores have a lot of variety, and the sales are the next day so they will get more for the same money, and it will be something they want!

    • fairsfair says:

      10:00am | 12/12/11

      Its Monday and I am filling my work day today applying for other jobs. Nice feeling.

      It was so hot over the weekend I thought I was going to die. To the point where I used my aircon practically non-stop. That is so out of character for me. I have bootcamp this afternoon and I am seriously worrying about it.

      I am wondering how JuzzyD is. I am also wondering what happened to adam without the capital a.

      Today is day one of the high protein diet. I poached an egg in the microwave for breakfast and I just had some ham for morning tea. Yummm.

    • Elphaba says:

      10:16am | 12/12/11

      My SiL described it as ‘hotter than the surface of the sun’.  Bless.  I hope the weather cools off for you!

    • fairsfair says:

      10:51am | 12/12/11

      My sister is visiting for Christmas Elph. She doesn’t cope with the heat in September - it is going to be unbearable. Heat + whinging about the heat while it is hot when there is nothing you can do about it, is really quite tough.

      Surface of the sun is probably pretty accurate lol. I don’t remember it getting this hot last year and I really hope it cools back to a tollerable 33 soon!

      It is hard to hear NSW/SEQ peeps complaining about the cool weather. I’d swap you in a heartbeat!

    • Elphaba says:

      11:15am | 12/12/11

      @fairs, the cooler weather is a pain when it’s supposed to be summer and hot.  NSW is getting rorted on summer this year.

      Oh well, I’ll be armed with lots of water, cool clothes and my little hand fan.  Bring it on! smile

    • nossy says:

      10:01am | 12/12/11

      Exciting news from the house of nossy Daniel - we are Sydney bound by mid next year! Yes we are moving to the old convict settlement on Port Jackson. Time my lovely says for a “sea change” after yonks living on the Gold Coast - she says we will have many “cultural rewards” living in Sydney - ohh dear looks like plenty of theatre, shows and a few trips to the Opera House coming up. Fortunately we have friends and relos in Sydney so the transition should be ok. Out with the old and in with the new - we’re “bound for Botany Bay”!

    • TChong says:

      10:19am | 12/12/11

      Do you the world . o’ good heading to the nations, and southern hemispheres most important city.
      One big change- you’ll realise Four X is the most foul of dishwater , but perfectly compliments ( to the bogans) cans of bundy/cola.

    • TimB says:

      10:26am | 12/12/11

      Those poor Sydneysiders. I feel sor-...Oh crap.  shut eye

      smile

      Welcome to the Premier State Nossy wink . What area of Sydney are you gracing with your presence?

    • fairsfair says:

      10:31am | 12/12/11

      Sorry to hear that Nossy. We always export our best and ultimately all it does is make the lesser states look almost as good as Queensland.

      You are just doing your bit - I get that - but a true loss all the same.

    • Anubis says:

      10:38am | 12/12/11

      So the appeal of going to the Gold Coast for holidays has just increased with the news that Nossy is departing the area. Hey Nossy - you taking Gavin with you?

      But seriously - good luck with the relocation Nossy.

    • nihonin says:

      10:41am | 12/12/11

      Singing Tooral liooral liaddity
      Singing Tooral liooral liay
      Singing Tooral liooral liaddity
      And we’re bound for Botany Bay

      There you go nossy, that should get you in the mood.

      I use to enjoy singing this song at school.

    • nossy says:

      10:53am | 12/12/11

      Thanks all - yes a big but exciting move - looking at Hunters Hill area but leaving it all a bit open till after a few trips in the New Year to decide. They say a change is as good as a holiday and its time we had a change after a lifetime in QLD. The Gold Coast is an exciting place to live but crime here spoils things a bit - a young peoples place I feel. No Gavin is staying here Anubis - he flys up and down to Sydney a fair bit on business so we will still keep in touch - but nice to be able to meet new people in an exciting new environment.

    • Ben C says:

      11:00am | 12/12/11

      Come on people, we all know nossy’s true reason for moving to Sydney - it’s called Kirribilli House, and a certain person who (normally) lives there.

      Welcome to the best city in the best State nossy, which beach will you be gracing with your presence each morning?

    • Erick says:

      11:31am | 12/12/11

      Oh crap, there goes the neighbourhood! raspberry

    • nossy says:

      12:14pm | 12/12/11

      @BenC depends where we end up living Ben.

    • ausspud says:

      12:43pm | 12/12/11

      @nossy
      I dont know nossy where a bit full wink
      But seriously if your worried about the crime make sure you do your homework. Enjoy your househunting.

    • Mark G says:

      10:13am | 12/12/11

      The media has some funny ideas on what intelligence is.

      http://www.news.com.au/technology/google-satellite-images-may-have-captured-us-military-secrets/story-e6frfro0-1226219340401

      What exactly do they think a foreign intelligence service can ascertain from a Satellite Pic that would be weeks (possibly months) old of UAVs sitting on a taxiway. You cant reverse engineer a UAV from a Sat pic nor can you ascertain what they are doing there. You cant forecast UAV strikes or surveillance missions with Google Earth. The pic on this story is not even of a top-secret UAV. Its probably a Predator or Reaper. The battlefield in Afghan is saturated in these UAVs, so I’m pretty confident that the Iranians know that the US have them and I dare say that they already know that these are flying out of the base in the image. How does any of this help them.

    • TChong says:

      10:29am | 12/12/11

      Hope lots of Punchers have The Cricket on the telly, monitor and/or wireless.
      To do otherwise would be UnAustralian

    • TimB says:

      10:51am | 12/12/11

      It’s on out in the lunch room. Unfortunately I’m running out of excuses to hang out there.

    • Elphaba says:

      11:02am | 12/12/11

      Yep, me three. On a tv right above my desk, no less.  The mad cricket fans envy my spot. smile

    • NicoleG says:

      11:04am | 12/12/11

      Not a chance Chongy! I have been subjected to that shite all weekend! It’s just not happening.

    • Ben C says:

      11:48am | 12/12/11

      Hughes fails again, Warner’s looking good.

      Top 6 for the India series should be (if at full fitness):

      Warner
      Cowan
      Marsh
      Clarke
      Hussey
      Watson

      Any chance of that happening? Yeah, Buckley’s and none.

    • TChong says:

      12:18pm | 12/12/11

      Warners 100 !!!!!!!!
      Nikky - dont be such a girl !  wink
      Cricket - more than just a game, its a way of life!

    • Anubis says:

      12:26pm | 12/12/11

      Just checking. Yep the crickets on - oh crap, no its not the TV isn’t even turned on. Couldn’t tell the difference - excitement factor about the same although looking at the fly crawl across the blank screen could be considered a tad more exciting than watching the *insert team name here* 11 playing against *insert other team name here* 11.

    • TChong says:

      12:40pm | 12/12/11

      1:35
      8 down , 40 odd runs to get
      WTF !!!!!

    • neo says:

      01:06pm | 12/12/11

      Cricket is pretty boring, at least to watch, so no.

    • TChong says:

      01:29pm | 12/12/11

      Young Warner , The Blue, did us proud.
      A great game.

    • Ben C says:

      01:30pm | 12/12/11

      How the bloody hell could Australia lose while chasing 241, entering the day at 0/72?

    • ibast says:

      04:23pm | 12/12/11

      @BenC 241 is a pretty decent second innings chase in most matches.  Given the previous match totals for this match, it was not to be taken at all lightly.

      I really raised my eyebrows at this morning’s bulletins that were suggesting it was going to be an easy victory for us.

      Always going to be close IMO

    • Wynston Cruso says:

      04:36pm | 12/12/11

      With NicoleG on this one. When I heard the cricket was on at first I was like ‘WTF is cricket?” Then I painted my lawn, figured I’d try killing two birds with one stone. Seriously, if cricket is a considered a sport, I’ll eat my own head. Ok I’m done, enjoy the cricket smile

    • gobsmack says:

      04:59pm | 12/12/11

      @ibast
      The usual difficulties of a 4th innings chase didn’t apply here.  The pitch was getting easier to bat on.  The most inexperienced batsman in the side made 120 odd not out, so the conditions couldn’t have been unplayable. 
      At 2/159 they were looking good with Warner paired with a guy with 145 tests under his belt and with the captain, “mr cricket” and the vice captain to follow.
      From there it should have been a cake walk.

    • MargD says:

      09:28pm | 12/12/11

      Had my heart in my mouth till the very end.  What a great job Warner did & nearly stole it from under the Kiwis.  Time for Hughs to go, he’s had enough chances and he’s not that good in the field eeither.
      And NicoleG you should be ashamed of yourself, thought you had been brought up betterthan that.

    • ibast says:

      11:03am | 12/12/11

      Don’t have children.  It’s not the kids presents that are the problem (that’s what the missus is for).  The problem is I now have to buy three presents for the missus instead of one.

      Are bras and undies separate presents?

    • JT says:

      11:16am | 12/12/11

      if you wrap them seperately sure thing

    • jay-ded says:

      02:24pm | 12/12/11

      So long as she gets to wrap each sock separately for you.  wink

    • neo says:

      04:01pm | 12/12/11

      Excellent article there, some very good points, the main one being that we have it a lot better than the rest of the world. Just another point proving that socialism results in greater happiness across all income levels.

    • Tim says:

      05:29pm | 12/12/11

      Neo,
      The main point I got out of it is that we are extremely well off and don’t need middle class welfare or more wealth redistribution meaures.

    • The Labor Landslide says:

      01:35pm | 12/12/11

      New Zealand wins the Second Test At Hobart by 7 seven runs,
      New Zealand set Australia 241 runs for victory.
      Australia all out 233!
      Dave Warner Not out 123 .
      Warner carried his bat through the innings for his first ever test century.
      Doug Bracewell 6 wickets for 40 runs for New Zealand!

    • TChong says:

      01:49pm | 12/12/11

      Was a very good , evenly matched game.
      Good omens for a very entertaining ODI and 20/20 series

    • gobsmack says:

      05:23pm | 12/12/11

      Yes and Bracewell with 9 wickets for the match and a last innings effort that won the match for NZ misses out on Man of the Match because that award is now given on the basis of Ch 9 viewer votes.
      I’m not in anyway trying to discount Warner’s magnificent solo effort, but MoM should be given to the player who is most responsible for the end result.

    • ibast says:

      01:41pm | 12/12/11

      This year my new year’s resolution is to not be premature.

    • Ben C says:

      02:19pm | 12/12/11

      Haha, I like that ibast.

    • Tim says:

      02:51pm | 12/12/11

      I think there’s pills you can take for that.

    • Mark G says:

      02:16pm | 12/12/11

      One thing I always find interesting is that people seem to think that xmas has somehow been inflicted upon them. Xmas is a self-inflicted celebration of our society. I would like to make a few historical points about xmas.

      First I would like to pose the question to all you punchers out there. What period and culture is the jolly red suit that santa wears? Before answering this question let me just say that his dress in not the traditional dress of people who live at the North Pole. To truly understand Santa we must look a the person he is supposed to represent. Old Saint Nicholas. So who was Saint Nicholas and where did he come from? Saint Nicholas was the Bishop of Myra in Lycia in the fourth century BC. Myra was located around modern day Turkey. Yes technically speaking Santa clause was a Turk, although it was a very different place back then because it was controlled by the Byzantines who were probably more Greek than Turk. He was actually persecuted along with many other Christians at the time by the Romans (yes it was that far back) and was jailed for a period until Emperor Constantine took over roman and Christianity became Rome’s new religion. The gift giving thing came from a tale about him leaving small gifts (normally coins) for the poor of Myra. He became the patron saint of children. He died on the 6th December 343. This was a day that for much of Christian history was celebrated as the feast of Saint Nicholas. This was normally celebrated as the festival of children, a day that many orthodox Christians still celebrate today. Most of the modern western interpretation of xmas was a confusion of this feast with a day that was set aside as Jesus’ birthday even though nobody can conclusively prove this day. The word Santa Clause is actually an American mispronunciation of a word brought to America in relation to Saint Nicholas by Dutch settlers. The actual word is Sinter Claes. From this misinterpretation of this celebration, Santa Claus to the Americans and Father Christmas to most other British colonies came to life. So I guess I still haven’t answered my own question. Where did Santa get his suit? From a Coke commercial. There is no historical of cultural significance of Santa’s suit. In fact if you look at historic pictures of Saint Nicholas, it is only in modern time that they have made him fat (must be an old age thing). The only thing that is common is his fluffy white beard. This then raises the question where did the idea of the reindeer pulling a sleigh come from?  Well I don’t think that there is really a good answer to that one but I am guessing it has something to do with another misinterpretation because I doubt that the original Saint Nich would have driven around turkey in one.

      So what is my point in all this historic rhetoric? Well it’s just to point out that much of the modern interpretation of xmas has nothing to do with jesus’ birth or gift giving by the original saint nich. It is a self-inflected modern commercialised holiday that western culture has distorted and misinterpreted to generate the spending bonanza that we see today. That is our fault as a society.

    • gobsmack says:

      03:00pm | 12/12/11

      I read somewhere that Santa’s colour scheme came from the Amanita muscaria mushroom (toadstool) which is the bright red one with the white warts.
      The toxicity of the mushroom varies - the effects range from hallucinogenic to deadly.
      Apparently the finnish tribesmen used it as a hallucinogen by drinking the urine of reindeers that ate the mushroom.

    • neo says:

      03:52pm | 12/12/11

      gobsmack, and in some tribes, the shaman would eat the shrooms, and the tribespeople would drink his urine, which would actually be less harmful than the actual shroom.

      Them shrooms grow in plenty where I’m from, but I grew up under the impression that even one bite would kill you, so I never got to try :( Apparently they’re good dried.

    • Erick says:

      04:07pm | 12/12/11

      Amanita muscaria is a risky mushroom, for the reasons mentioned above.

      Fortunately, we in Australia are blessed by the presence of the much more pleasant Psilocybe cubensis. While lacking the Santa colours, it has a nice Aussie tan and a smoother chemical composition. smile

    • Castro says:

      02:24pm | 12/12/11

      I’m calling for Michael Clarke to have, not just his captaincy terminated, but also his life.  Shot at dawn by a firing squad led by Alan Border.  Who would have thought that an Australian captain would start a big collapse with a windy woosh outside off stump?

      A reminder of what Sharwood said recently about Clarke:  “Clarke at his best has the steel of Waugh, the grit of Border and the tactical nous of Taylor.”  I said at the time that this was garbage and Clarke has proven it so.  Another fine example of Clarke folding under pressure; failing when Australia needed a captain most.

      Anthony, I expect a full apology in an article written about the disintegration of Australian cricket under the ‘leadership’ of this pea-hearted wimp.

    • Shenanigans says:

      02:36pm | 12/12/11

      what is it with kids and being massive these days? I recently got back from doing a quote on a house for my boss (he’d decided instead of being useless I can run out and do quotes for him(we do commercial and residential work)) when i got to this house a kid of probably 14 answered the door and i nearly fell over, this kid was freaking huge, I stand at 6’5” and this kid was a full head taller then me. how the hell does someone nearly 5 years younger then me, manage to be a head taller then i am. The hell are they feeding children.

    • Anubis says:

      03:02pm | 12/12/11

      All the growth hormones pumped into chicken could be a contributor there.

    • neo says:

      04:06pm | 12/12/11

      I’m the same height as you, and it’s pretty rare to see someone taller than me tbh.

    • fairsfair says:

      04:44pm | 12/12/11

      I am a full foot shorter than both of you. I hate being so short :(

    • LJ Dots says:

      05:05pm | 12/12/11

      A 14 year old that big? I think the parents, through necessity might probably feed him random strangers who knock on their door. Can you imagine the food bill to keep that unit running?

    • gobsmack says:

      05:08pm | 12/12/11

      Lol, must be all the weetbix.

    • Robert Smissen Of rural SA says:

      10:14pm | 12/12/11

      If you shop with a list & don’t get sidetracked, went shopping with my oldest son to buy presents for 5 grandkids, total time 46 minutes in total, just too easy. Daniel P. I’m getting the feeling you are what Arnie would call “A Girlie Man”.

 

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