Punch list: 12 more apps they should make
Wardrobe crisis is my term of choice. But I’ve also heard it been appropriately described as “meltdown” “fashion disaster” and “wardrobe malfunction”. But regardless of what you call it, agonising over what to wear is one of life’s inevitably stressful experiences.
So thank god for the brain behind the genius of the Fashion iPhone App- a mobile, go-anywhere personal stylist that can confirm, deny or suggest alternatives to what you’ve chosen to wear that day.
Here’s an explanation care of the Wall Street Journal, or read the whole article online:
A team of eight stylists trained and certified by Glamour magazine are on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Users snap photos of clothes, accessories or themselves, pick a stylist and submit a question under event categories such as “Girls’ Night” or “Wedding.” A stylist will reply with his or her opinion. Stylists have profiles (and, eventually, user ratings), so consumers can seek out stylists that fit their taste preference.
Because the app is essentially a real-time conversation, how questions submitted are worded can affect the quality of the answer received. We had a question about how to wear a sparkly gold belt, but neglected to say that we had already considered pairing it with a black dress or jeans. The stylist told us: Wear the belt with a black dress or dark jeans.
The article has provided some real food for thought here at The Punch and we’ve put our heads together and come up with another few examples.
Scrap that. We got carried away and came up with at least 12 other apps we’d be the first to invest in.
Got any genius ideas of your own? Add them to the list below.
What did I do last night app
A thorough and no-nasty-bits spared- film-reel of the previous nights events. Imagine the plot line of movie The Hangover only faster and starring you. This app would probably also include a tally of your drinks and cigarettes smoked at the end. And would also suggest several points of discussion to use the next day in order to make amends for any foolhardy deeds.
Will you sleep with me app
Stripping back dating angst and reducing the hard work of “picking up”, this app will sift through a whole stack of criteria of the person you’ve been chatting up and estimate a percentage of the likelihood that they’d go home with you at the end of the night. It could also provide handy instructions like suggesting their favourite cocktail, plans for the next day and (helpfully) their name. This app is best purchased in addition to app #1.
Do I look fat in this app
They could charge what they liked for this app because there is no question that this one will sell like hotcakes. Guys, imagine how much time you would save cutting around that dangerous, yet inevitable question and girls, you’d never need worry again - this little app will be brutally honest. Best purchased in addition to the style app so if your bum does look big in those jeans, it will recommend an alternative pair of pants that ARE in your wardrobe.
Who is this boring guy app
You’ll be hard-pressed to run out of reasons to use this app. It’s for any situation be it at the pub, on the street, in the office or at a loud party where you meet someone whose name you have forgotten and you’re trying to pretend that you actually do know it. Take a quick headshot (can also be from long distance) and the app will locate their first and last name and even the location of the last time you met them for extra conversation pizzazz.
The uncomfortable conversation app
This app is road-tested for all those times you’re in conversation with strangers or colleagues and one or some of the following occurs. Either a) they have bad breath b)they have spinach in their teeth or c) their fly is undone/their boob has fallen out of their top. Whatever their affliction, this app will send a subtle instant message to their phone alerting them of whatever’s gone awry.
It’s your anniversary/birthday today app
Instant reminder of your impending anniversary and also making suggestions for an appropriate gift or dinner reservation for your loved one. Helpfully this app will also keep history of previous celebrations to help you avoid any repeat purchases/suggestions.
Kind of self explanatory; blow into your phone and this app will let you know if you’re safe to drive or suggest another beverage and the name of a local taxi company if you’ve had too much.
Is this chicken I’m eating app
Now this is a handy one for eating out in new places. Take a quick photo of the meal in front of you and the app will tell you if the Bombay chicken you have ordered is biologically a chicken and not made from ingredients procured from the floor, backyard or other.
Should I hit send app
By helpfully double-checking the content of your email and the forwarding address to help you avoid sending any emails that you’ll subsequently regret.
What is this screw from app
Bunnings would be all over this one. You move furniture around, you clean the back of the couch or kitchen drawer and out rolls one random screw. This app will tell you where it belongs so you can return it to its rightful place.
Mother in law app
You love her but you just can’t stand talking to her? Well this app’s for you. As soon as the phone rings activate the app and your iphone will do the talking for you sending endless soothing yet interested murmurs of “Yes” down the phone and asking as series of appropriately timed questions like “Tell me more about your trip to the botanical gardens” and “Of course I want to know all the details of your sister’s daughters wedding cake”.
Take the awkwardness of out calling in sick after a big night out. Set the timer on this app to 7am and while you’re sleeping it off, this app will come up with a convincing excuse and ring your boss for you.
Read all about it
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
@mooks83 sophisticated response. Think the kids parents saw it differently
More class from 9's footy show, lampooning a baby that allegedly looks like Sterlo with a pic swiped from Facebook http://t.co/BGoYP6Pn68
The latest and greatest
Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…
I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…
In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…