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I’m pregnant, sober, and seeing booze in a new light

Zsa Zsa Bowie Wilson

by Zsa Zsa Bowie Wilson

22 Mar 05:45am

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Filed under: Alcohol, Binge Drinking, Pregnancy, Wowsers

31 comments

During the last six months I’ve had to stop drinking. Pregnancy and alcohol are a “no-no,” and I haven’t felt like it anyway.

Prohibition: OK, maybe that's a step too far. Pic: File

Enforced “dryness” has been interesting. It’s made me think twice about who I want to socialise with and also made me reflect on the drinking habits I’ve established over the last few years.

When you’re not drinking and hanging out with people who are, and “getting on it,” the scene quickly becomes intensely boring.

It’s during about the third round that I start to get twitchy and by the fifth I find myself wanting to make a swift exit.

The third round is when the drinker sense of humour starts finding its voice yet what they find funny, I don’t. Did I ever? Not sure now. Two rounds later and the chat stinks.  I find I am not on the same conversational wave length as the drinker and I find I have to work really hard to hold a conversation with them.

By the sixth round I just want to go and I think everyone else probably wants me to leave too.

Having a non drinker sit beside you during an alcohol fuelled catch up is like having a visible, guilty conscience perched on the bar stool.

I know because back in my drinking days I was often the one willing the abstainer to leave me and whoever else in peace to enjoy the night or afternoon without having to reflect upon my binge drinking ways.

I haven’t turned into miss holier than thou now just because I can’t drink. I definitely miss the buzz of having a couple, which is probably why I dislike being around people getting pissed.

Perhaps I was more addicted to alcohol than I cared to admit?

Monday to Wednesday I’d exercise lots, eat minimally and feel like a saint. By Thursday evening I would be gagging for a glass or two of red.

On Friday night whether I was at home or out I could drink up to a bottle plus - depending on how good the night was.

Feeling at a loose end on a Saturday arvo would result in more drinks with friends, dinner out with bottles of wine often followed by an after dinner trip to the pub or a bar, or even possibly a trip back to someone’s house for another few.

A Sunday hangover would mean all day grazing and a glass or two of red at lunch time to make me feel better and possibly, if I was feeling really greedy, another glass around 6pm.

It was no real surprise then that I often woke up on Monday feeling in need of another weekend.

Even when I attempted to hang my drinking boots up for a two week dry spell my will power usually crumbled by the fifth or sixth day.

Looking back upon my weekly habit in shock forced me to go and compare drinking notes with friends – I think to make myself feel better

While many said they probably consumed no more than six to eight units a week a couple of girlfriends admitted to finding their self control had gone out of the window in recent years.

Another confessed that more often than not one drink opened the door for a “huge night” and the only way to stop that behaviour was to go cold turkey from time to time and drive everywhere.

What many of us late 20s early 30s drinkers had in common was the ability and desire to consume more alcohol than we had in our early twenties.

Until at least the age of 25 my large nights out would often consist of no more than three glasses of wine.

I didn’t want to drink more - it just wouldn’t go down. So, how I wonder, over the next three years, did I manage to slip down the binge drinking slope?

I guess pregnancy, apart from being a massive gift, has also given me the chance to break what was turning into a rather bad habit.

Hopefully, when I return to the bottle it’s just one or two glasses not the whole thing.

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31 comments

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    • Stven says:

      06:14am | 22/03/10

      My self imposed February booze ban has continued to today. I’ve had a
      few drinks sinmce March 1st but can’t/won’t do it like I used to.

      It’s pretty tough when you’re a (not pregnant) guy without an excuse
      to abstain.

      I suppose the 4th class peer group pressure continued into my 40’s.

      Perhaps I should dress as a pregnant version of Mrs Doubtfire

      Reply

    • Charles says:

      06:50am | 22/03/10

      Having been unable to drink alcohol for about 6 years,  I can empathise with your comments on the difficulties of holding a sustainable conversation with a group of slightly (or more) pissed people.

      In fact, it took about 3 years to develop the social tricks that are needed to stay in the ‘game’ of having a conversation in various outings, so you might have a bit of work in front of you yet.

      Of course, it is also true I could be a slow learner as well, so it mightn’t take you that long.

      Reply

    • Adam Diver says:

      07:18am | 22/03/10

      The social trick is not go out. I avoid drunk people like the plague. They are so annoying, its not funny.

      The only time to hang out with drunks is when you are one yourself for the evening.

    • Formersnag The Child Protector. says:

      07:38am | 22/03/10

      Good on you Zsa Zsa, it is good to see a media story about competent parenting, for once. There are so many deadbeat, single mothers out there, still drinking, drugging, etc, neglecting & abusing their children. Training the future generations of rioters, like we saw at Oakleigh over the weekend.

      Women arriving at the maternity ward in labour & paralytic drunk is quite common.

      http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/1030217/australian-fathers-are-okay-study

      Reply

    • mick says:

      01:02pm | 22/03/10

      Let’s not get started on deadbeat fathers who neglect and/or actively abuse their children… We could be here or all day.

    • Moi says:

      02:01pm | 22/03/10

      Formersnag The Child Protector,

      I totally agree! Single mothers are the worst! Did you know that they actually suck the blood of their offspring-vampire style?
      I knew one once and she was a total freak! She never let her kids play on the road and worse still she had a job! I’m sick of them being so mumish and so…what’s the word?....single!

    • hound says:

      07:56am | 22/03/10

      Can’t say I agree with your comments re being a conscience etc but they are your perspective so I find it interesting.

      I gave up drinking 4-5 nights per week a few years ago simply because I didn’t see the point in consuming that many calories and then going to the gym nearly every day.

      I went cold-turkey and found it pretty easy. Now my drinking is confined to usually 1-2 beers at lunch on Friday or the same after work.

      However, I still socialise occasionally and just don’t drink alcohol. One thing I did notice was a Homer Simpson moment where you say to yourself “I never realised how boring this game really is”

      Going to pubs and spending your time talking cr@p with people just to pass the time in order to drink is mind-numbingly boring. I need some sort of activity to do or I usually don’t bother going these days.

      Reply

    • dancan says:

      07:56am | 22/03/10

      I’m in a simular situation.  Last August I had to give up alcohol for five months due to a medical problem, prior to stopping I would’ve fit in to the binge drinking category and not just on weekends, a few beers after work with mates would often turn into an all nighter and I’d rock up to work the next day chewing painkillers and with a nasty hangover only to do it all again that afternoon or the next day.  It took about 3 months for the beer cravings to stop, made even harder with the onset of summer. 

      During my time away from alcohol I started to become bored with my friends as well, they’re still my mates but…being sober around drunk people everything takes on a new light.  My mates would rock up to work after a big night out and absolutely REEK of alcohol and cigarettes, so much so that I couldn’t bare to stand around them their bodies would be extruding this nasty odour.  It was then it occurred to me that this is how I used to smell coming into work.  Their constant complaining of being hangover is how I used to sound. 

      Now it’s March almost April and I can count on my two hands the number of drinks I’ve had since I stopped drinking back in August of last year (I’ve had 1-2 at certain social occasions).  And honestly I can’t see myself going back to alcohol.  It’s hard to explain why, I just look back at how I used to be and it’s something I don’t want to be anymore.

      On a side note. I’ve really noticed the alcoholism of Australian culture over this time, especially since my mandated no alcohol period ended.  People would constantly come up asking me to come drink, when I would answer no thanks they would all look at me questioningly and ask why,  And then push for me to come drinking.  People really couldn’t accept or understand that I didn’t want to drink.  I even had one person suggest I go see a doctor because it wasn’t “normal” that I didn’t want to drink and there might be something wrong with me.

      Reply

    • Moss12 says:

      10:51am | 22/03/10

      Dancan I agree with your statement re “the alcoholism of Australian culture.” It is hard to kick off abstenance when many of your mates and your own socila life is greared around alcohol.

      I really have to stand my ground not to be coerced into drinking more. I used to drink alot but have got my consumption down to between zero and three units a week. However, when I go to hens parties or girls nights out where the focus is often on gettting plastered, people often perceive me to be a kill joy. I’m fine not drinking but they’re not fine with it.

    • Jason Ealey says:

      08:02am | 22/03/10

      Alcohol is such a big problem in this country. It really is difficult to socialise without alcolhol. I have found it increasingly difficult not to have just one or two drinks when I go out and that worries me so your article has really given me food for thought. Good luck with being a parent. By the sounds if it, you will be great!

      Reply

    • Lilibet says:

      08:11am | 22/03/10

      Congratulations you doing the right thing by your child. I have a friend now in her 50’s, she had a daughter in the early 20’s, the young woman whilst beautiful to look at is very very slow. Her mother drank heavily right up until birth. It’s a shame this girl could have achieved so much. Instead she is on welfare, having 2 children to 2 different fathers and has no prospects in life. She can’t add up and can barely write. Alcohol is a poison . I sound like a wowzer and I am not ,I believe a drink now and than in moderation won’t hurt anyone but its defiantly not the right choice for an expectant mother

      Reply

    • Evie says:

      08:06am | 22/03/10

      Very true Zsa Zsa, it’s hard to be around drunk people when you are sober. It’s like many of them become aliens from another planet, climbing into shopping trolleys and taking their pants off and whatever.

      Reply

    • Bill says:

      08:27am | 22/03/10

      I’m currently off alcohol as a religious observation (we still have two weeks to go until the end of Lent.)  Frankly, it’s not that hard.  I do like a glass of beer after playing rugby, but as for socialising whilst sober, it’s a breeze.

      If people ask why I’m not taking them up on their offer of a glass of red, I tell them.  Nobody seems to mind, and nobody calls me a wowser, but plenty of people seem to think it takes a superhuman effort to not drink.

      Reply

    • diva says:

      10:09am | 22/03/10

      “plenty of people seem to think it takes a superhuman effort to not drink. “

      i got that too when i did febfast. people were all ‘wow, i could never do that; how very strong of you’ and the way i saw it was ‘what kind of person are you if you can’t say no to alcohol for an extended period of time?’

      it’s just funny.

      good luck zsa-zsa, it wasn’t easy for me to do it in one month; nine months is def a good achievement smile

    • Lindy says:

      08:31am | 22/03/10

      And you know what? After they’re born there’s the breastfeeding thing - so more enforced sobriety.  And then you’ll be back to two drinks is enough—and I’ve never really moved on from there.

      And now I don’t miss it.

      Reply

    • Steve says:

      09:20am | 22/03/10

      Zsa Zsa writes…
      ‘What many of us late 20s early 30s drinkers had in common was the ability and desire to consume more alcohol than we had in our early twenties’.
      It is not complicated….you were dissatisfied with life but covered it with the pretense of a fabulous social life. Now you are pregnant you have matured & started to think like a grown up! Something that people did in there very early 20’s not too long ago.

      Reply

    • Eva says:

      10:42am | 22/03/10

      Yeah right Steve. Zsa Zsa must have been so dissatisfied with life to want to enjoy it with a few mates. Maybe you should start to act like a grown up and quit being so judgemental.

    • DG says:

      09:24am | 22/03/10

      As someone who has never really been a drinker, I’ve never had a problem socialising with drunk people. I find them no more boring than colleagues who talk about their kids, dogs, sports team or whatever it is that makes their day. In fact, I find that drunk people are more willing to discuss meatier topics. 

      It’s also a great way to really get to know your friends and associates. they’ll tell you things that they wouldn’t admit to when sober. It’s illuminating - the hypocrisy that some people live with, the guilt, the shame - and things you’d never know unless you chatted to them drunk. Sure, some stories are twisted by the drink others are completely made up - but it helps break down the barriers to the point that people talk about things while stone cold sober. That’s the comfort zone.

      I’ll stick to my one or two drinks and hang out with my drunk friends. I don’t mind being the designated driver and looking after drunk friends that are at risk of falling off harbour cruises, stumbling under buses or taking a swing at a bouncer. For some reason I find it entertaining - I’m yet to have a night involve either the police or an ambulance…. but then again, I’m not 30 yet - so I’ll keep searching for those comfort zones and keep watching people and learning bout what makes them tick.

      Reply

    • kw says:

      11:10am | 22/03/10

      First Paragraph - perfection. Couldn’t agree more DG.

    • Macca says:

      09:31am | 22/03/10

      That Photo makes me cry, ugh, I need a Coopers to drink away the blues.

      Reply

    • Jenni says:

      10:47am | 22/03/10

      I find that it rather sad that you profess to have nothing to talk about with your “friends” now that you no longer drink. I myself am a drinker - possibly verging on being in the “too much, too often” camp, but being a single woman with no attachments it’s not generally an issue - and I’ve had no trouble maintaining solid friendships with friends from my teen years, even though some of them no longer drink at all. Not one drop. Ever.

      I still greatly enjoy their company, and to my knowledge they still enjoy mine. They still attend my get togethers and socialise quite happily with drinkers and non-drinkers alike, and I never miss their more family oriented events and love every minute. I would certainly never dream of excluding them from an invitation because I drink and they don’t.

      Reply

    • J says:

      11:35am | 22/03/10

      I don’t drink much anymore - maybe 1 or 2 a month - mainly because it’s an expensive habit and there are other things I’d rather spend my hard-earned cash on.

      I don’t have any problem socialising with driunk people.  I’m not big on clubs, but pubs are fine.  I was blessed (or cursed) with the ability to gab away about anything without the social lubricant.

      I’d rather talk to a room full of drunk people than a room of new mothers.  Honestly, they seem to pop a kid out and then all they can talk about is epidurals and what colour their baby’s poo is…

      Reply

    • Moi says:

      02:11pm | 22/03/10

      often there’s no difference between talking to a drunk and talking to a new mum-they’re both on another planet

    • Kat Eden says:

      11:57am | 22/03/10

      Zsa Zsa - I found it surprisingly easy to give up wine (previously a much ‘needed’ nightly habit) during pregnancy, and was quite smug about the idea of how easy it would be to stay off afterwards.
      Weirdly, almost within days of giving birth I was hanging for a wine again, even though I hadn’t felt that way for months. Now I’m just using breastfeeding as an excuse as to why i can’t do it, but I’m not so certain of what’s going to happen after that finishes!

      Reply

    • Scott Glennon says:

      01:40pm | 22/03/10

      Zsa Zsa, You consider 8 drinks a week as binge drinking? You must live a sheltered life.
      Well done for giving up the drink, but as you say.. You’ll have to get used to being the bore of the party or find other boring friends =P

      Reply

    • Gina says:

      07:17pm | 22/03/10

      I don’t know where you got that from. It sounds like she was consuming treble that.

    • Bob H says:

      01:50pm | 22/03/10

      Noooooo - another journalist who is pregnant - standby for incoming tedium of pregnancy articles followed by nauseating baby experiences, after all it has never been done before.  How about having a break for about 5 years and spare us all.

      Reply

    • Shane says:

      06:19pm | 28/03/10

      Yeah I agree, I am so over journalists showering us with their “knowledge of parenting” when they’ve got a 6 month old baby.  I find it offensive to say the least.

      When you’ve got more kids than me, had more problems than me with those kids, (illness, stealing, failing at school and unfortunately, death), then you can write what ever you want.  Until then, shut up.

    • Kate says:

      02:27pm | 22/03/10

      Great topic Zsa-Zsa. I am continually suprised by the number of people I know who say they want to lose weight, get fit, pay more attention to life etc but feel drinking is getting in their way yet they can’t let go of the nightly need for a few drinks.

      I used to think I drank too much because I binged once a week. I felt quite a bit of shame around it . It wasn’t good for me of course - I am not re-writing history - but when I eventually gave it away to instead have just the odd glass of good wine with dinner I suddenly realised how much everyone else was drinking. My own guilt kind of blinded me - hard to explain.

      A woman I know said how she had three glasses of wine a night and she didn’t think that was strange.

      Reply

    • Mon says:

      12:18pm | 23/03/10

      Three glasses a night is a functioning alcoholic (assuming that by “night”, you mean every night)

    • David says:

      05:48am | 04/06/10

      I’m off the drink for a year at age 35. I drank 1 or 2 drinks every day before this, which horrified my doctor, but I didn’t think it was a problem. I guess in theory it isn’t, I mean, many cultures healthier than ours drink every day. But I suspect deep down I was kidding myself in thinking that my drinking was healthy, I probably drank too much, and looking back, the drinking was affecting my ability to exercise regularly, sleep properly and to lose weight.

      I’m now almost 1 month in, and to be honest, I feel fantastic. My clothes are looser, I’m exercising like a champion and am stronger and fitter doing it, I’m sleeping much better - this has been the biggest and most welcome change, and generally I feel much more positive about the future.

      Grog and I have a long history, but I didn’t consider myself an alcoholic. As I said, a daily 1-2 drinks and a solid binge over lunch probably once every two weeks. I didn’t go out till all hours of the morning or anything. However, I loved it and considered myself quite a sophisticated drinker (how easy that trap is…).

      This is the best health decision I have made in a while.

      Will I ever go back? Well we’ll see. I fear boredom, but at my age (35) that is less relevant as people are doing other things now, and I’m trying to fill my life with outdoor activities. If I shed a truckload of weight, which is the plan, then I would have to be mad to go back to the booze, at least till my 50s, but the thought of never having another beautiful beer or wine still fills me with horror so I will have to cross that bridge when I come to it.

      It will be a good problem to have at the end of the 12 months, in any event.

      Reply
 
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