For 10 points, to which celebrities do these children belong: Colin, Elizabeth, Chester, Truman, Lily-Rose and Jack?
Any idea? Nope. That’s because their dads, despite being two of Hollywood’s top three highest earners, have never paraded their kids as accessories to their own fame. Congrats Mr Depp and Mr Hanks. In fact, double cheers to Tom who’s just become a grandad. I trust little Olivia Jane is doing well?
Compare them to Willow Smith, Suri Cruise, Lourdes Ciccone Leon and Romeo Beckham who, thanks to some pretty intense parental showcasing, are now being heralded as style icons. You heard right – we’re now supposed to admire the dress sense of a five-year-old.
Shove over Grace Kelly and Kate Moss: You’ve been usurped by the delectable Miss Cruise, whose tiny sandals and Salvatore Ferragamo handbag (which she can barely carry, let alone spell) earned her 21st position on Glamour magazine’s list of best dressed women.
Yes, ‘women’. Weird, huh? But not surprising when your preschool wardrobe is said to be worth more than US $2 million.
If Suri and her slip-ons aren’t your bag, how about Will Smith’s daughter Willow? At age 10, fashion’s funkiest little songstress has just been named “the future-forward American icon” by Vogue.
When she’s not whipping her hair or lacing up her pink Chuck Taylor boot-pants (you have to Google this look to believe it), the fashion bible claims she’s inspiring a nation with her natural talent and “unblemished optimism”.
The list goes on: Romeo Beckham, 8, is in 26th position on GQ’s best dressed list and will soon release his own sunglasses range (give it six months and his new sister, Harper – who already has her own Louboutins – will trump that); Madonna’s daughter Lourdes, 14, has her own fashion label; Gwen Stefani’s son Kingston, 5, has been rocking a blue mohawk.
Now, I’m not suggesting this lot are being pimped by their parents. Heavens no, they were clearly born with an innate style sense – indeed, Suri is so gifted, she helps choose her mum’s clothes.
But to thrust celebrity on a child simply by dint of what they wear sets them up to henceforth measure themselves on how they look. And what about the overlooked siblings – Brooklyn Beckham, Jaden Smith, Zuma Rossdale? (Cripes, imagine if Brooklyn lacks both style and co-ordination.)
But celebs aren’t the only ones buying into the notion of super-styled kids. Witness the explosion of designer childrenswear ‘collections’ from the likes of Burberry and Marc Jacobs.
As Lanvin boasts, its forthcoming ‘super luxury’ designs for four- to 10-year-old girls offer a “way to translate the universe of Lanvin ready-to-wear to the world of kids”. What tosh. Kids don’t need $400 chiffon frocks. They need hand-me-down jeans and a knitted poncho clacked out by Gran. Or anything, really, that accessorises with mashed pumpkin and mud.
That’s why you’ve gotta love Johnny Depp (for more than just the obvious reasons). After his daughter Lily-Rose spent nine days in hospital suffering from a serious infection, he didn’t make a PR dispatch T-shirts and swanky trainers.
Instead, he dressed up as Jack Sparrow and snuck into the hospital, where he spent four hours reading to sick children. So, did Lily-Rose recuperate with a spin to Christian Dior for some new threads?
Nope, Daddy donated a million pounds to the hospital, instead.
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