Pop Quiz: The Future of the Labor Party
After John Faulkner unloaded 30 tonnes of truth bombs on the Party apparatchiks, let’s test how the Party will respond using the tried and true method of a multiple choice quiz.
Question 1: Labor got this way because:
A) Australia’s conservative by nature and Labor’s run by union ogres anyway.
B) Lefties are stoopid.
C) The centralisation of control stifled reform and excluded idealists.
D) Mark Arbib is actually Voldemort in a really terrible disguise.
Question 2: If you asked Julia Gillard about Faulkner’s speech how would she respond?
A) She’s not sure, Paul Howes and Mark Arbib haven’t told her yet.
B) Awkward giggling. “Oh “insert journalist name here” I’m determined to see a price put on carbon whatever the cost.”
C) Whatever’s left of her inner Leftie would come out her nose like a child sneezing while drinking coca cola.
D) She’d propose a new form of membership called MyParty. To join all you have to do is like the Labor Party on Facebook. She would call this a “bold and brave reform agenda”.
Question 3: If the Labor Party does die it will mean:
A) The rapture is coming.
B) The Greens will actually have to cost their policies.
C) Andrew Bolt will need to find someone else to be angry at.
D) There will finally be no more reasons for Mark Latham to write opinion pieces.
E) Get Up will run as a political party under the awkward slogan “It’s Time to Get It Up”
Final Question: Complete this sentence: the Australian Labor Party is a blank 1 blank 2 of blank 3.
For best effect write your answer in the comments section.
D) wet dream
A) moribund hacks
D) modern society
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