Other stuff to be angry about today (with video)
Once at an NRL match, Wests Tigers fullback Tim Brasher hurled a small novelty footy my way. Pretty sure the thing was intended for his nephew or cousin, but I snatched it, I took it home and that was that.
Leaving aside the fact that a Sydney rugby league fan actually got off his backside and went to a game, there is nothing remarkable about this anecdote. Finders, keepers. Especially at sporting venues.
Yet public sympathy today appears to be leaning heavily towards 14 year old obsessive Novak Djokovic fan Melissa Cook, who missed out on a shirt thrown her way. And public fury is being unleashed on the fan who snatched the shirt.
Help me out, Punchers. Help us all out. Is the shirt snatcher really the bad guy in this? Admittedly, she seemed to act with a certain disdain for those around her, much like the emu who stole a lamb chop straight off my BBQ hotplate at Tidbinbilla Nature Reserve near Canberra over summer.
But, come on. The shirt was thrown into the crowd. The minute it left Djokovic’s hand it was public property. You want to send something direct to someone, wrap it up in a package and buy a stamp. No?
Anyway, worse things happen at sea. Especially in the seas of Tasmania. Much worse things.
Don’t press play on the video below yet. First, ask yourself, do I like dolphins? Of course you do.
Now ask, do you despise jet skiers? Of course you do. You agree, as any sane citizen does, that they are the hoons of the seas. That to own a jet ski your head has more hair product than brains. These things are givens, right?
OK, so now watch the video.
Unbelievable. The sick f-cking bastards.
Tasmanian wildlife biologist Kris Carlyon said the harassed dolphins would likely leave the waters of Lauderdale, just east of Hobart, and not return for a while.
“This is a sad example of people getting over-excited and ruining it for everyone else,” Mr Carlyon added.
Another way of putting that would be: these knob monkeys deserve to have motorised dolphins swim through their living rooms with chainsaws that play Justin Bieber music.
As Elaine and Jerry once noted in Seinfeld:
Elaine: Ugh. I hate people.
Jerry: Yeah, they’re the worst.
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