Since November 1 to December 9, our household has received 121 pieces of junk mail.

Like War and Peace, only with bargains!

Why am I counting this? Well, a few reasons. Mostly I’m interested because I used to do this sort of thing for a living. Second we live in some sort of junk mail hotspot.

When the first Christmas catalogue came out before Melbourne Cup, I remembered how many we got last year and wondered how much it was. So far: 121 pieces.

Junk mail, unaddressed mail or ‘householder’ if you’re a former postie, is either the bane of your existence or the crux of your shopping week.

I know there are people who take it straight from their letter box and put it in the recycling bin. Forget you! You don’t know what you’re missing!

Junk mail is entertainment. Before I had no money, I used to think about all the things I could spend my money on. Now I have no money, I dream of all the things I would spend my money on if I had it.

I know I’m not the only parent who’s used it to entertain her kids. Before my daughter was 1-years-old, I’d give her a wad of junk mail to crush up and it would keep her amused for a long time. A really thick brochure could last for days.

A friend of mine uses toy catalogues to help his boys budget and teach them about saving money.

Yet another has their children cut things out or circle them so they don’t get the Christmas shopping wrong.

One of the most useful Apps on the Iphone or Ipad is Lasoo. It’s an electronic junk mail repository. All the major retailers who produce a catalogue put them on Lasoo. Thoughtful consumers can put up a ‘no junk mail’ sign on their letterbox and save the planet one Myer, Big W or Aldi catalogue at a time and refer to Lasoo in times of price comparison.

Because my in-laws live in New Zealand, it fell on me to find something on their behalf for my daughter for Christmas. Unfortunately, it was the day after the recycling bin had been taken away.

I referred to the Lasoo app to do my research, looked at who stocked the thing, various prices and locations and… voila! Job done. Now all I need to do is assemble it and put a bow on it.

Despite Lasoo, I still love getting the huge roll of catalogues and sitting down with a cuppa and going through them.

The only catalogue I really don’t like is the Bunnings catalogue – I like photos. Sketches aren’t my thing.

My order of preference to read junk mail is: DL real estate flyers, pizza or other fat food go straight into the bin; tyre catalogues never get opened; camping stuff with the tyre catalogues; toys and seasonal; supermarkets; variety, furniture and speciality stores; department stores and finally: the Aldi catalogue.

There is nothing better than the Aldi catalogue for sheer range, entertainment and interest. Sometimes I get to the part where they sell food and I remember: That’s right! They sell food!

I remember when Wayne Swan was in opposition and started up a local supermarket price watch thing online. His boffins would go out, or not, and write down prices of things and send them into him. He or his staff, would put them up on the website, and his constituents could do comparison shopping.

He said this was so successful, he tried to make it a national thing. We know what happened to that, don’t we?

One day I was sitting on a seat at the shopping centre down the road from Swan’s office, and two old ladies sat next to me. They both remarked that they couldn’t find the latest supermarket catalogue and it hadn’t been delivered to their homes. As I had one on me, I gave it to them.

Junk mail is a great leveller. While an 80-year-old lady might never use the internet, she can get to her letterbox or have someone bring her junkmail in to her.

According to friends in the direct mass marketing business, it doesn’t matter if 90% of us don’t read our junk mail, if 10% of us do and act on it, then the advertiser will make a profit.

So when Queensland supermarkets introduced price parity last year, I don’t think it had anything to do with various current affairs programs saying it was cheaper to buy butter in Logan than Ashgrove. It was probably more cost effective to produce one catalogue as it was to produce 17.

In support of junk mail, I’ll leave you with this thought from a former Postie.

“When I was a postie, there was always the little ones to think of and as they mostly always came out to the letter box when they heard me coming along I always made a point being able to at least them give them something. That’s where ‘householders’ came in handy. Most of us old hands always kept some householders back to give to the kids. None of us were interested to see the kids go away empty handed even if Mum did put them straight into the bin.”

I love it!

Most commented

25 comments

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    • TChong says:

      06:21am | 13/12/10

      Julia , in order to avoid controversy like we saw at Channel Oprah and the Big Macs reporting / advertorial, then you need to declare , here, and now, do you have interests in any printing company ?, being financially reimbursed for spruiking Lasoo , or do you run a stable of Letter Box deliverers ?
      Punch is no place for “cash for commnts”, unless the political type, which appears here time to time ( and ALWAYS perpetrated by people we disagree with- strange, but true.)

    • NicoleG says:

      08:07am | 13/12/10

      Your nose is only out of joint because Julia bags little Swanny Chonggy. Nothing gets in the way of a woman and her junk mail. Ever!

    • Julia Thornton says:

      08:45am | 13/12/10

      My only interest in junk mail now is from a price comparison point of view. I earn no money from it, but spend a bit less as a result of it.

      And as of yesterday we’d received 139 pieces.

    • Jack says:

      10:30am | 13/12/10

      Is it raining in your part of the woods?

    • Jasper says:

      10:22am | 20/12/10

      TChong: I guess anyone who supports a different cause to yours, has been paid by a big corporation, right?

      I love junk mail, online catalogues, Big Macs, Coca Cola, reality cooking shows, Apple, Google, ASOS, Nestle, and the shameless brand mentions continue. I assume therefore, I have been paid to make these comments?

      should I ever become a writer, I will ensure never to express an opinion about valid services that have a place in my life,  in fear of being slagged with a hidden agenda.

    • Edward James says:

      06:22am | 13/12/10

      Julia
      Junk mail is mind numbing even an intrusion unless you need it. When the glossy items slip out of the paper and make a mess it is just annoying. I have occasionally weighed our Sunday papers close to two kilos. What ever the weight I buy them both because I need two TV guides, for me there may be around three hundred grams of material of some vague interest. I have read most of it apart from the letters to the editor before three am on line. But we agree some people cant function without their junk mail.

    • AFR says:

      07:20am | 13/12/10

      you also realise the TV guide is on-line?

    • Amy Sturt says:

      07:09am | 13/12/10

      Oh I love junk mail!!!  Particularly at Christmas - but really all year round.  I’m obsessed with it.  And since we live on top of a rather large hill, I frequently wonder how the poor lady delivering them manages to carry so much up such a large incline.  The sheer size of some if the catalogues has reached monstrous proportions… And I love it!  Look at all the stuff I’ll never have in it’s shiny well lit beauty!

    • ibast says:

      08:35am | 13/12/10

      It’s amazing how much you don’t desire things when you just throw the junk mail out without reading.  A WII, play station, blue-ray or any number of gadgets that marketing people dream up are just things that I don’t desire. And I really do believe they not only would not improve my life, they would make it worse.

      The bonus is I save money.

    • Leah says:

      12:31pm | 13/12/10

      I am not compelled to buy those things just because I read catalogues. In fact, a catalogue alone never compells me to buy things. I already have in mind what I want/need, then use the catalogues to figure out where it is cheapest. The other use of catalogues, of course, is looking for gift ideas.

    • ibast says:

      01:09pm | 13/12/10

      Leah, you’d be suprised how much of a standard the catalogues set.  Every week you are getting glimpse of things that are bigger and better than you already have.  Eventually your mindset shifts and you are then convinced you need to upgrade your already massive tv (for example).  Just ignoring them means you tend to be happy with your perfectly adequate household appliances.

    • Jay says:

      08:46am | 13/12/10

      I have often wondered where Wayne Swan got his treasury experience from,
      comparing junk mail brochures. Good one.

    • Joel B1 says:

      11:36am | 13/12/10

      I’m some-one who delivered junk mail when younger to earn some very valuable cash .

      Now I realise the “no junk mail” stickers are part of that green conspiracy. You know the one, to deprive ordinary people who have to do “real” jobs of their living.

      Because it’s not just the underpaid person walking the streets. It’s the photographers, designers, set people, graphic designers, printers, paper manufacturers, ink producers and more who all suffer. (BTW why don’t we get soy-based ink here like they do in the USA?)

      So that’s why I love junk mail. Obviously I recycle it all ‘cause I’m a real greenie, not a chardonnay one.

    • Sam says:

      03:33pm | 13/12/10

      How are you a real ‘greenie’ supporting an industry of disposable advertising?
      I would suggest if kids were not delivering junk mail, they may earn their cash some other way… like may be mowing the neighbours lawn. I’d much prefer to pay the kid next door than a commercial enterprise.

    • Roger Crook says:

      11:38am | 13/12/10

      I weighed our weekly Junk mail and local free papers. 480 grm.
      Perhaps someone can work out the so-called carbon footprint?
      How may dwellings in Australia multiplied by say 500grm of paper?
      Are we serious about anything?

    • stephen says:

      12:02pm | 13/12/10

      Harvey Norman and JB can send their stuff to me any time they want, but what i really want is to cut out a discount voucher to present it for a further cut in price.
      (I keep on getting customer feedback questionaires from Apple, so I reckon these vouchers would be good business.)

    • s m says:

      12:16pm | 13/12/10

      I love reading the junk mail - it’s great to keep my eyes open for the things I do want/need to be on a reduced price. 

      I would consider just using Lasoo and putting a ‘no junk mail’ sticker on my box to reduce the amount of paper, but from my experience of my time delivery junk mail I don’t see the point.  I never had to report back on how many catalogues didn’t get delivered if I ran out of boxes to put them in.  So really, every house in my area could have had a ‘no junk mail’ sticker and it wouldn’t make any difference. 

      And i love the ‘householder’ letters that come in the mail.  My son hasn’t clued on to the fact yet that it isn’t actually for him…

    • Rod Blaine says:

      01:40pm | 13/12/10

      Julia, is that you in the photo or just one of those Stock Photo models?

      Also, NB “West Australian secession”, not “succession”, unless you’re talking about the monarchy and/or death duties. (Actually, in WA they probably are).

    • Thorntonj@hotmail.com says:

      03:22pm | 13/12/10

      The one used for this item is a stock photo.

      And you’re right about WA.

    • Rod Blaine says:

      06:12am | 14/12/10

      I see. She looked juuuuuuust enough like your mugshot to get me wondering how one gets to score a Punch column at 17…

      PS: And what is your grievance against Section 100 of the Constitution?

    • Mr Subramanian says:

      04:40pm | 13/12/10

      lol My wife likes the junk mail too. Apart from the price comparison thing (which we used when looking at iPod Touches), it’s good for just having a browse when you’ve got no idea. We’ve found that considerably harder to do via the internet (plus you worry about spilling food and/or beverages on the keyboard - whereas with the junk mail, you don’t).

    • sandra nelson says:

      06:45pm | 13/12/10

      the punch is my junk mail.
      only the mining tax can bring us a gold mine.

    • sandra nelson says:

      07:05pm | 13/12/10

      in the old days,veritas was the junk mail and the sunday mirror was the gold mine.

    • john tracey says:

      07:31pm | 13/12/10

      julia gillard’s junk mail is julia bishop’s goldmine

    • Andrew says:

      03:07am | 14/12/10

      love it! I’m glad some-one else has the same feelings as I do! haha

 

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