Well, Tiger Woods’ long-standing mistress is a woman who’s last name is Grubbs. Does that say it all, or what?
My friends have been asking me how I spend my time at home with a 15-month-old.
When I tell them that between Play School and swimming lessons I follow a theory called nominative determinism they sort of nod and smile politely.
But as soon as I explain it to them, they immediately add their own examples.
A woman who specialises in family law appeared on a current affairs program. Her name was Carolyn Counsel.
At music, one of the mothers told me of an obstetrician called Dr Putsch. You’d expect that to cause some confusion in the delivery suite, wouldn’t you?
My own obstetrician was delighted there’s a scientific term for people who veer towards a profession which matches their name. He said that would explain why there are so many Dr Bloods and De’Aths on the medical register.
He raised the topic of bad names for kids, using an example from New Zealand.
Last year a New Zealand judge ordered that a 9-year-old girl had the right to change her name from Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii due to the ongoing embarrassment it caused her.
For my money, there would have been a level of frustration when she had to correct people who didn’t put an uppercase ‘T’ and ‘F’ on ‘the’ and ‘from’.
My obstetrician, who’s identity I won’t reveal because he laughs shamelessly at some of the more silly names he’s come across, told me of twins born a few weeks ago. They were named Jack and Tia by their proud parents, which are perfectly normal names until you find out their middle names are Daniel and Maria.
I was shopping one day, and saw a mother wrangling two pretty little 3-year-olds. “Scarlett! Stop squeezing Ruby, she’s going purple!”
To be fair, family theme names isn’t a new trend. I went to school with sisters Rosemary, Cynthia and Jasmine and my godmother was one of three sisters with middle names Faith, Hope and Charity. Three more sisters and I’m sure it would have stretched to Patience, Prudence and Verity.
Which makes me wonder, why don’t boys get named after colours, flowers or positive personality traits? The closest I’ve heard to a boy getting a colour name is the son of a friend who married a Mr Scarlett. She called her son, Will.
But back to my obstetrician’s observations: another woman was talked out of naming her child Alani, which was the name of her suburb backwards: Inala.
You can also pick a person’s favourite television program or movie by the names they choose for their children.
For example, Taylor shouts Bold and the Beautiful; Dillon and Brandon 90210; Marlena, DOOL (Days of Our Lives).
So to finish on a nominative determinism note, my father’s old business partner is building a rock wall at his winery at Stanthorpe.
His name is… Adrian. However, the ‘h’ is silent.
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