Old people are still having sex. Read on…

Chris L says:

08:56am | 08/10/12

This is why at least two couples I know of have the situation where the wife is desperate for a shag and the husband is laughing and saying “Remember when we were teenagers and you kept saying no?”

I know when I was a teenaged school student I would have been delighted to learn the ropes from my thirty something chemistry teacher.

Mouse says:

09:25am | 08/10/12

LOL, ain’t it just always the way!
Never mind ChrisL, we women folk will just keep getting better’n'better and by the time you are old enough to appreciate it, you would have run out of choof!  Stay young, my friend, stay forever young!!  lol ;o)

Scotchfinger says:

09:34am | 08/10/12

in my early 20s I had some sort of ‘relationship’ with a woman in her early 40s. Wow, what a time! I never had that sort of, ahem, experience with girls my own age, who were more like prison wardens handing out rations, if you know what I mean. Now I’m getting all sentimental…

Mouse says:

10:38am | 08/10/12

Scotchie, I think the difference with older women is that they no longer have anything to prove, are comfortable within their bodies and are at the stage when they just want to enjoy one of life’s simple pleasures.  The whole experience is enriched with giving as well as receiving and that both can share it.  :o)

I reckon it’s great too that it’s free and the government haven’t yet found a way to tax it…...yet! (sorry, couldn’t help myself!!) LOL :oD

Scotchfinger says:

12:52pm | 08/10/12

‘it’s great too that it’s free’. Sshh Mouse, the Mens Rights boys will hear you! ‘Men pay dearly for sex…blah blah blah…’ right Tubesteak? pfft.

Mouse says:

09:29am | 08/10/12

hahahahaha, now I understand why you are such a miserable old bastard!!  lol ;o)
**said with tongue firmly in cheek**

Scotchfinger says:

09:39am | 08/10/12

so ask them to keep their clothes on (well, most of them). There, I’ve just solved your problem for you Reg. Ain’t the Punch great?

Chris L says:

10:12am | 08/10/12

You could compromise Reg. You could “read” a Playboy, and then you’d probably be in a better frame of mind for performing the “husbandly” duties.

Too many quotation marks?

amy says:

12:42pm | 08/10/12

ok….brace yourself

people have sex…

and…

people are into all kinds of things other than vanilla…AND THATS OK

is your head hurting now?

Reg Whiteman says:

01:29pm | 08/10/12

Thanks for the advice - not. I’ve always considered the sex act to be the most over-rated of all human activities and no recent experiences have changed that considered view.

There is a time in one’s life when one may have a legitimate interest in the copulative act and derive some fleeting pleasure from it; but by the age of 50 one should be able to stow away one’s tackle and not be constantly confronted by exhortations to engage in depraved acts.

One should grow old with a bit of dignity and not have one’s face rubbed in sex at every turn.

I wonder if you people, extolling the disgraceful sexual practices common these days, have considered just how many germs are located in the mouth and in the vicinity of the genital-urinary-anal area. The human mouth has more colonies of bacteria, moulds, viruses and parasitic ova than the average Calcutta sewer. Think about that next time you want to experiment with some flavour other than “vanilla”.

Chris L says:

02:11pm | 08/10/12

To each their own Reg ol’ boy. You are celebate by choice, whereas some of us have celibacy thrust upon us.

You’re right about it being a very undignified, which is another reason why I think it’s best handled by professionals.

Scotchfinger says:

02:23pm | 08/10/12

gee Reg, sounds like you have had some unfortunate experiences. Remember, a shower (with soap) can do wonders for attractiveness. During the act (if you still perform it), try not to think about microbiology, and instead concentrate on how much fun it is. If you can’t, perhaps it’s just as well you are celibate, because I guarantee the woman is having about as much fun as you are.

SydneyGirl says:

03:04pm | 08/10/12

I want to see a movie of Reg’s encounter with this medical professional, the later played by Isabelle Huppert.

Huppert’s perversity is one of few kinds of perversity I enjoy.

PS: Reg W’s comment solved the mystery of why ladies of a certain age so ravenously….....consume 50 Shades and its ilk. 

PS: Where is Tubesteak, his prowess at 60+ is well documented here!

Mouse says:

03:32pm | 08/10/12

Reggie, sweetie, come here and sit down,
*takes Reggie’s hand in hers**
Honestly, if you’d rather be reading a book, maybe..just maybe.. you are not doing it right then!  :o/
Scotchie, shower…soap…now ya talking!! LOL ;o)
Sydney girl, I’ll come with you to watch that one! LOL :o)
Oh ChrisL, what can I say to that? *slowly shaking head*  :o\ Maybe “husbandly” should be thrown out the door and he should become a lustful brigand, throw her over his shoulder and ravish her outside under the moonlight!  Slowly mind you, remembering old bones…....nah, go for it,  it will be something they will talk about in the Emerg department for weeks!  lol   ;o)

amy says:

03:37pm | 08/10/12

@Reg Whiteman

oh reg you hipster…..

the arrogant kind that looks down on otehrs through some seriously warped Idea of morality, who feels you have the right to dictate what others do and that “your way” is the right way

I pity you

Admiral Ackbar says:

03:40pm | 08/10/12

amy I don’t think that was entirely the point. I think Reg was more concerned with the fact that she was, as the great Poet Lil Wayne put it an ‘old bitch’.

Reg you sure have a way with words, I especially liked this: ‘But invariably, half way through the job I’ve thought to myself, “I’d rather be reading a book”.’

Classic, and really, who hasn’t been halfway through at least once and thought something similar, regardless of age. There’s been an occasion or two where all I could think about was going home, rubbing one out and playing some Halo. Clearly, there are more important things in life than doin’ it big willie style (may be a euphemism for sex and/ or a Will Smith lyric, feel free to correct) such as what things Master Chief gets to shoot in the face in the next level, or whether or not you have the required item level for an upcoming raid.

Love your work Reg.

the cynic says:

04:48pm | 08/10/12

Reg you crack me up….Yep, agree somewhat about the oldie factors you mention but you have it all wrong mate! reverse the roles. Me ,I’m 66 and the wife 31 been together for 7 years and I can assure you that it beats the crap out of grappling with a beached whale in the dead of night. Asian women look after you and themselves.  And that line you wrote that “One should grow old with a bit of dignity and not have one’s face rubbed in sex at every turn.”  Bloody hell there are times when I refuse to wash my face for days and days ( if you get the drift) and I have never come down with some dreaded lergy. You are better of with a newer younger model, preferably not from the local tribe, there are definite benefits for crossing ethnic borders.

Scotchfinger says:

02:28pm | 08/10/12

have you never had a man over under their roof? I’m sure they have similar feelings about those thin walls…

che says:

02:56pm | 08/10/12

Good point I suppose. Although that first sentence took a couple of reads before it made sense and didn’t make me giggle.

marley says:

02:17pm | 08/10/12

@centurion - depends on whether you’re one of the fat people, now doesn’t it?

SydneyGirl says:

03:57pm | 08/10/12

I don’t know.

If someone leaked a sex tape of two old fat people getting it on fabulously I guarantee it will be a viral hit.  A change from Paris texting or Reg reading a book or the Admiral playing Master Chief when doing it don’t you think?!

PS: What I am gobsmacked about is that so many men here are disproving that much bandied about theory that men are on earth solely to spread their seed far and wide right into old age!!