Oh baby. What are the chiropractors thinking?
Babies freak me out a bit. The really little ones, anyway. It’s the way their heads bobble around like a puppy doll on a dashboard, unsupported by protective muscles. They’re so breakable.
It’s one of the great paradoxes of the human body. On the one hand, it seems miraculous that these old bags of skin and bone and mucous somehow work together to keep a human going.
On the other hand, we’re unbearably fragile. Sometimes hearts stop beating, lungs stop breathing, we just stop working. It’s amazing that so many defenceless babies grow up with all their bits intact.
So it’s understandable that today’s overwrought parents think it’s acceptable to whisk their still-gooey babes off to the chiro as soon as they’re born.
If you believe that subluxations of the spine can cause everything from ADHD to asthma to allergies, that mysterious forces affect the body’s innate intelligence, then of course you’d be eager to manipulate that spine straight away. That is, if someone who seemed knowledgeable and full of medico-speak convinced you that this was the best thing to do, because your baby got all bound up in your “cramped uterus”.
Chiropractors across Australia are proud to treat newborns; some of them say the first day of a baby’s life is the right time to introduce them to this pseudo-scientific world. Chiros are also often keen to sign whole families up to treatment plans; working, as they so often do, on this assumption that we are born wrong and only they can make us right.
One of the very interesting things about the chiropractic profession is the way it is fractured. There’s now a sort of ‘mainstream’ chiropractic care which focuses more on (much hated word) wellness – lifestyle, nutrition, movement. There’s less emphasis on the crunching and popping of the spine, more emphasis on the feel-good side of things.
Then there are the old-school, rogue elements. Those who are vehemently anti-vaccination, those who make outlandish claims about their immense subluxation-fighting powers.
There’s really only one way to sort it out, and that’s science. If there’s evidence that a treatment works, then anyone properly trained in delivering that treatment should be allowed to tell the world about it.
Without evidence, people should not be able to make such claims.
But we have the interwebs, so the chances of shutting down bogus claims are as slender as the stylus on an impulse adjusting instrument.
I’ve said this before, but you know that won’t stop me… it’s time for the Government to set up an online bullshit barometer, a one-stop shop for information – and warnings – about various health practitioners and practice.
Something the parents of a newborn child will turn to before they rush off to a chiro.
Read all about it
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
The latest and greatest
Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…
I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…
In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…