Congrats NSW Govt, you’ve bagged the full set of sins
For too long now the NSW Government has been grossly attacked for not having achieved anything.
Even I myself was once part of the baying hordes who cruelly and unfairly accused the 16-year-old administration of leaving no great timeless accomplishments as a legacy for this great state.
But then this weekend I realised that NSW Labor had achieved something no other government of either persuasion has managed to do - not just in this state, nor the country, but the entire world.
The State Labor Government has now, thanks to the small, unassuming alleged purchase of a single ecstasy tablet, successfully accounted for every single type of scandal known to human history.
This feat is even more impressive given that the previous record was also held by the same State Labor Government.
This is a group of political leaders who looked at a front page story about a cabinet minister dancing in his underpants and said to each other: “Come on guys, we can do better than that.”
We have, in the last decade alone, had ministers seeing mistresses in Parliament House, cruising gay saunas, surfing for porn in their offices - although only incidentally to online gambling - and of course the aforementioned celebrated gyration in lime-green jocks.
And that’s only the good stuff.
There have also been the comparatively mundane couple of MPs done for corruption, the obligatory drink-driving scandals, a paedophile Aboriginal affairs minister and a former milkman who somehow made it into cabinet, got caught speeding four times, and then had a secret lovechild with his staffer.
This last rite of passage alone immediately identifies someone as either an unheralded genius or borderline crazy.
And then, like placing a feather on the bonnet of a car as it teeters on the edge of a cliff, a minister’s husband gets arrested for buying a disco biscuit in Glebe.
That, it has to be said, is just plain funny.
Point being, while the rest of the state was being distracted by side issues such as collapsing infrastructure and the casual incineration of $25 billion in power sale proceeds, this Government has been determinedly and methodically ticking off not just the seven known sins, but also several others that no one realised had been invented yet.*
This sort of political record is nothing short of inspirational.
At a time when people are aching for a semblance of passion and vision from Canberra, Macquarie Street has been offering clear moral leadership for years. Admittedly they are the kind of morals that lead you straight to Hell, but still.
In fact the more I think about it the more I realise I’m going to miss these guys. Never before has a Government done so much to entertain, enthrall and appall its citizenry. Next year I expect to see them in the Spiegeltent.
Anyway, I just want to say from the bottom of my heart: Thanks for the good times guys. I’ve done a lot of bad things in my day but you make it all seem OK ...
*Naturally I am again referring to the lime-green underpants.
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