No sex until April 2010: The Punch tweets the Budget

DEFICIT: Actually it is Iraq – nowhere is it made clear when we will actually be OUT of deficit #ausbudget09 #thepunch

DEFICIT: Target date is 2015-2016…provided no unforeseen events hit the budget. As if that would ever happen #ausbudget09 #thepunch

OLDIES: It’s a pensioner-fest. Every zimmer frame stuffed with cash. That should keep them happy ahead of 2009 poll #ausbudget09 #thepunch

OLDIES: Only downside for oldies is retirement age of 67 – in 2023. Baby boomers saved again, Gen X cops it #ausbudget09 #thepunch

YUPPIE RAGE: Middle class Labor voters will hate these cuts. Super, childcare…message to working families is don’t work too hard #ausbudget09 #thepunch

YUPPIE RAGE: yep first Hands Off Our Middle Class Welfare rally, meet noon tomorrow Gleebooks #ausbudget09 #thepunch

BEER CIGS UP: shame Rudd shame! #ausbudget09 #thepunch

FAMILIES: About time we got paid parental leave – even if we have to wait another two years #ausbudget09 #thepunch

SWANISMS: In addition to cutting word “deficit” from speech, no mention of families on 120k plus in tax tables #ausbudget09 #thepunch  

SWANISMS: “Australians are too strong, too resilient, too united to be overwhelmed.” Swanny’s Churchill moment #ausbudget09 #thepunch

BROADBAND: Rollout to start in Tassie. Didn’t they get it from the extortionate Brian Harradine for Telstra sale? #ausbudget09 #thepunch

MEDICARE: Procedures including hair transplants (thanks Shane) and varicose veins has blown out the health budget #ausbudget09 #thepunch

ECONOMY: Swan says the cash splash will raise GDP by ¾ per cent next year #ausbudget09 #thepunch

OLDIES: Work two more years you old bastards. Pension aged to rise to 67 #ausbudget09 #thepunch

NO SEX TILL APRIL 2010: Paid Maternity Leave delayed until January 2011 #ausbudget09 #thepunch

GOV NO LONGER CREATING JOBS: now “supporting” 210,000 jobs “we won’t cut them loose.” #ausbudget09 #thepunch

PROPERTY GRAB: First home buyers given six more months to spend your money on their picket fence #ausbudget09 #thepunch

SWANISMS: Temporary borrowing, cushion the impact, dragged into recession, doing more with less, building blocks #ausbudget09 #thepunch

NATION BUILDING: Rudd desperately hoping the Rees Gov won’t stuff up the massive infrastructure spend #ausbudget09 #thepunch

NATION BUILDING: “Shovel ready” given new meaning – now translates to “$22 billion consultant bonanza” #ausbudget09 #thepunch

GROUND CONTROL TO KEVIN RUDD: $1.5 B on New Solar Flagships projects – could be codename for the search for alien life#ausbudget09 #thepunch

HAIL MARY MATHEMATICS: Budget full of hit-and-hope estimates for the positive impact of measures #ausbudget09 #thepunch

JOBS WILL GO: Unemployment forecast to hit 8.5 per cent in 09-10 #ausbudget09 #thepunch