We read this morning the latest Hail Mary throw from some people in the Coalition is to install Andrew Robb as the next Liberal leader.

Kevin Rudd (left) and almost Kevin Rudd (right).

At first the news was somewhat startling. After all, Mr Robb is not known for his high-profile, media savvy or charisma.

But then the brilliance of the plan dawned on The Punch. Think about it: “Rudd for PM”, “Robb for PM”. Who’d know the difference?

The dead straight grey hair. The glasses. The moon face. Ignore Andrew Robb’s chin dimple and the plan is a work of genius.

According to this morning’s Oz, some Liberals are considering a “Plan B”, with the wildly optimistic assumption a different leader would do “less badly” than Malcolm Turnbull.

Those Libs sure know how to look on the bright side. You’ve got to love this par in the Oz piece:

Mr Robb, Liberal Party director when John Howard was elected prime minister in 1996, may be seen as lacking charisma but is judged as being a “safe pair of hands” who may limit the “disaster” expected by Liberals at the election due late next year.

Way to talk it up fellas - Mr Robb would be mad not to launch a challenge to Turnbull after a pitch like that.

The other day David Penberthy argued here for a Tony Abbott-led Coalition recovery, while Leo Shanahan voted to play Hockey.

But neither Abbott nor Hockey could pull off a “Not Rudd, but almost” campaign. It works, just as Kevin “Not John Howard but almost” Rudd.

29 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • Les says:

      12:38pm | 06/08/09

      Great piece Tory ! I suspect panic is setting in for the Liberal Party - how many will be left at the next election? - who will they blame? - who will be the bunny in the hotseat at the election slaughter ? Maybe they should leave Turnbull in and let him reap “his reward” for being so disgraceful as to impetiously trying to bring down an elected Govt. based on a hastily crafted fake email ! Malcolm - we are a democracy - we have things called elections here laddie !

    • Michael of Lib Land says:

      12:41pm | 06/08/09

      It’s truly telling when the plan is not victory, but to do less badly. 

      My oh my, the curse of first term opposition.

    • TimT says:

      01:01pm | 06/08/09

      And just think of the headlines if Robb actually won the next election. RUDD ROBBED!

      Spoonerisms could be dangerous though: Rudd Robbed can so easily become Rod Rubbed….

    • Ostermann says:

      01:07pm | 06/08/09

      a true set of bookends across the dispatch box, now that would be worth seeing

    • R.E.L. says:

      01:11pm | 06/08/09

      What’s got me baffled is that we were all too happy to elect the Coaltion four times on the trot and to reap the benefits of their policies making the vast majority of us better off in many areas, yet suddenly it’s as though their 11 years in power never happened and the ALP is the best choice again not because of policy, but because the media says Malcolm Turnbull is arrogant.
      The adages are very true: “the electorate has a short memory” and “in democracies, the people get the governments they deserve”
      The adage is true:

    • Julie Coker-Godson says:

      01:17pm | 06/08/09

      Wow!  Talk about optimism.  There should be a rule/guide book for those in opposition after a long spell in Government.  Shall be watching this space with great interest.

    • AT says:

      01:20pm | 06/08/09

      This is so ludicrous a proposition that it makes a lot of sense. If Rudd is Howard light, Robb must be Howard mid-strength. Just what the Libs need to relive their glory days without the full-strength excess of Howard or an effete capitulation to Rudd’s Howard light.

      It’s of no consequence though, Rudd will serve at least a couple terms before handing over to Gillard. Then we’ll be talking about Chardonnay versus Shiraz.

    • johnv_au says:

      01:21pm | 06/08/09

      Who wins will depent on who the media love a the time I voted labour all my life being a miner I was wrong and wil never vote for them again

    • Jennie says:

      01:27pm | 06/08/09

      Where do all these so called Leadership leaks come from? Julia Gillard? Wayne Swan? Kevin Rudd? Gillard started the “two Tony’s” crap.
      Rudd loves all this leadership stuff, he wants Turnbull gone and quick so he can hopefully get his ETS legislation through.Then yep, off he goes to Copenhagen to be the hero.

    • Peter Griffin says:

      01:48pm | 06/08/09

      Ha, ha, ha, Andrew Robb the Leader of the Opposition. Seriously? At the moment theLiberal leadership is a bit like being nominated the captain of the Melbourne Football Club; it carries a certain amount of honour and prestige but who’d want it. Maybe (the Demons coach) Dean Bailey could be bought in to consult the Libs’ on a few “experimental” positional moves without using any rotations off the (back) bench. LOL

    • Farness says:

      03:21pm | 06/08/09

      When Rudds Carbon Tax and the Stimulus Debt Tax is in place, you’ll likely to be talking about Cordial versus Tap Water instead of Chardonnay versus Shiraz.

    • iansand says:

      03:33pm | 06/08/09

      Rudd v Robb?  How soporific.  That would take politics off the front page and put it where it belongs - somewhere between astrology and the chess column.

    • Kendal says:

      03:34pm | 06/08/09

      R.E.L,

      The reason voters ‘abandoned’ the coalition is because WorkChoices revealed the nasty direction their agenda was taking.  It seems that the electorate has a longer memory than you do.

    • realto says:

      04:13pm | 06/08/09

      ‘Lacking charisma’  - and some. I said elsewhere that Robb has the demeanour and charm of a funeral director. This might be appropriate if he were leader because after the next election he will be directing the funerals of the political careers of some of his party colleagues. In fact if he takes over now he ought to bring forward the execution of some of them - it would be the kind of involuntary euthanasia that the party needs for renewal.

    • Michael of Lib Land says:

      04:33pm | 06/08/09

      Kendal,

      I still am yet to have any Laborite show me how WorkChoices damaged the social fabric of Australia.  It did not create the mass wage decreases that your union backers were spuriously claiming.

      All the Work Choices legislation did was make employess take their performance seriously.  Something that Australians detest because we are essentially a laid back laconic population who like to think ‘She’ll be right’ not ‘I had better do my job well because that’s what I am paid for’.

      So what was the end result?  For expecting a bit of common sense from the population John Howard was bum rushed out of power.  All due to an overblown reaction to an otherwise innocuous piece of legislation.

      And what did labor do when they got into power - fiddled at the edges of it, not the dramatic wholesale change that was pumped up.  Wake up everyone, you elected John Howard’s, less intelligent, likeness.

    • R.E.L. says:

      04:39pm | 06/08/09

      Kendal,

      WorkChoices was demonised. It was a moderate reform which would have protected us from the GFC without the incumbent fiscal conservative come socialist executive having to send us into debt for the next 10 generations.

      Before you remind us that under the Coalition private debt was out of control, that is not he government’s fault. It is the fault of people who couldn’t control their borrowing and spending urges…much like the current government.

    • Jim, Duncraig says:

      05:00pm | 06/08/09

      Good, on you, Kevin.
      Not a bad record since his election with four opposition leadership contenders seen off: John Howard, Alexander Downer, Brendan Nelson, Peter Costello, and now a likely fifth, Malcom Turnbull!. Added to which the deputy leader of the opposition, Julie Bishop, is not capable of holding down even the second rank position of Shadow Treasurer.
      Not over endowed with talent, are they?.

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      06:37pm | 06/08/09

      The only problem with the ALP having no talent is that the Liberal Party have even less.

      @ R.E.L- If government policies such the First Home Buyers Grant artificially inflate property values causing people to borrow more for mortgages and spend more on equity then yes the Coalition is partially to blame for record foreign debt.

    • Adam says:

      06:46pm | 06/08/09

      They should just stick with Turnbull. After all, they have no chance of winning the next election with whoever leads them. Turnbull is already damaged goods, why destroy another potential leader?

    • Wog Boy says:

      08:04pm | 06/08/09

      Sorry this is only just the latest charade in Liberaldom in terms of playing musical chairs who their next leader is ...ought to be, could be and then chk chk boom boomba has been. Robby against the China Man is like blue belt karate kee pitted against 2nd Dan black belt….Robb looks like he is on automaated George control…as if he is a slumber state 24/7. In this morning’s story in The Aust…the main reason why wise heads of Liberaldom opted for Robb was to mitigate the hiding they are predicting in collecting in the next election..Forget about winning, aready they have capitulated..declared Labor outright winners, and they are only interested in saving total obliteration…Need I say more except I’m hanging up…The next nominee for leadership will be either Waussie cowboy Iron Bar Bush Tuckey man or Heffa the bronco geriatric cowboy on the East coast. Libs have a leader…why not try helping him to put Ute gate behind him, and give Turnbull total support for change. and see if that works…how many would be if they could be leaders are Libs going to recycle before winding up.

    • eag says:

      09:04am | 07/08/09

      Another Liberal Leader with charisma!? it could all get too much! Well if the plan worked for one party it must fit all,the genius of it!!!!

    • watty says:

      09:45am | 07/08/09

      Think Beazely Crean Latham.Life isn’t meant to be easy in Opposition

    • Graeme - Prahran says:

      11:17am | 07/08/09

      Mr T, you have got it right. To an increasing number of people; “RUDD Has Already Been Rubbed”. What else could possibly explain this so-called self-proclaimed Christian’s conversion from “The Road To Damascus” to inveterate liar and obsfucater,  switching sides and positions on virtually any and every issue at whim, to suit the prevailing wind.

      One thinks back to other PM’s of a time not too far distant, when “No Child Shall Live In Poverty By 1990” or “L A W. Get It” were uttered (to “popular acclaim” by the “Canberra Press Gaggle”) by other so-called national leaders. I.e.;  similar and continued utterances of absolute bullsh- - . Your explanation of possible causes may be nearer to the mark than you think, as he does exhibit narcistic characteristics to the nth. degree.

    • Graham Easom says:

      11:20am | 07/08/09

      No political party can ever have a person named Robb as Leader. The satirists would have a field day every day. Abbott and Costello were one possible team after the Howard debacle, and that was bad enough, but Robb?And anyway, he has said he backs Turnbull all the way. Yeah, into a corner.

    • Karen says:

      12:39pm | 07/08/09

      Rudd wants a leadership change and fast, he’s only got 6days before the vote on an ETS. If Turnbull’s still there, Rudd won’t get it through. That world stage isn’t far away now! Rudd wants to be up there and seen as a hero, it won’t happen while Turnbull is in his way!

    • Old Clive says:

      01:31pm | 07/08/09

      Wonder boy is worried, if somebody ever gets digging into his past and it gets out poor old Malcolm will look like an anget, control the press and you control the mushrooms, incidentally I was looking forward to my two cups of coffee from the increase in my pension but they have just been blown away by an increase in my rates,  I look forward to the day when some political party will start looking after the people who made Australia great and gave all these young whipper snippers the life that they now lead. Hey Kevin I used to milk cows before going to school, I lived on dirt floors, I used to pay more in tax than the average wage, but it looks as if the pollies get all the benefits. Go travelling man.

    • Prue says:

      11:04am | 08/08/09

      I’m really tired of all the gloating going on from Rudd and his team over utegate. isn’t it time to just move on. we all know the story. Yes Kevin, Turnbull wanted you to get the sack, but he didn’t have the right proof. I know it must have been embarrassing for you for 1 day when it first hit the headlines, but we know it wasn’t the truth so get over your hurt ego and get on with running the country. Also media stop all this leadership rubbish that the Governmnet keep feeding you! Turnbull won’t be going anywhere before the next election, so move on!

    • Matthew P says:

      01:02pm | 08/08/09

      There is more going on in this country than the opposition. There seems to be over kill with Turnbull, I would like us to get back to the Government. We need to have more focus on what is really going on with “Building the Education Revolution”(School Principles being gagged from speaking to the Media) “Aboriginal Housing”(ask Jenny Macklin, who is now in hiding over this stuff up) ” The secret tax payer funded hand out to Holden” (which was accidently exposed by the Advertiser)“The unhappy Pacific Forum Leaders who don’t agree with Rudd on his co2 reduction targets”(secrectly ushered away from Journalists in Cairns after their meeting) etc.. Does this look like a Government who believes in “transparency”? ALP Conference where ministers were kept away from the main stream and sent up escalators away from the crowd. (so there wouldn’t be any confrontations to be seen)

    • Marilyn says:

      05:17pm | 08/08/09

      Rudd and his robots are very good at deflecting or hiding any unfavourable attention away from themselves.

 

Facebook Recommendations

Read all about it

Punch live

Up to the minute Twitter chatter

Paul Colgan

Greece makes the final and Ireland gets in on a golden ticket. How awkward and embarrassing. Love it. #sbseurovision

Anthony Sharwood

Every single #eurovision band is roxette #sbseurovision

Anthony Sharwood

The weird thing about #eurovision is you've got this massive collection of dorks in a room and no one is wearing Spock ears #sbseurovision

Anthony Sharwood

Europe has the large hadron collider which is light years ahead of its time and #eurovision, where the eighties never die

Recent posts

The latest and greatest

Mining money talks the loudest in Australian politics

Mining money talks the loudest in Australian politics

When North Queensland Liberal MP George Christensen got the idea of launching a new political organisation…

Please enter your password

Please enter your password

Help! I’ve succumbed to a crippling modern illness that can strike at any moment. Symptoms include:…

This concern for Thomson won’t change the script

This concern for Thomson won’t change the script

Under pressure himself over his crusade against Craig Thomson, Tony Abbott has moved to present a softer…

Nosebleed Section

choice ringside rantings

From: They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

Michael S says:

"A teacher at Geelong Grammar had criticised her for using words that were too long, which had left her confused and had made her doubt her ability to write essays. She became ''quite distressed'' when her English marks began to fall." I can sympathise. My scholastic mentors conveyed to me a causal relationship… [read more]

From: Welfare for breeders is a bonus for everyone

Change Up! says:

I have no problem paying my taxes. As a single, childless person on a very decent income, I can afford it and not have my life severely altered. Plus I understand that my taxes paying for things like schools, childcare and infrastructure is ultimately a good thing. A better community is better for me… [read more]

Gentle jabs to the ribs

They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

A private school girl’s family is sueing her elite, extremely expensive private school for not… Read more

243 comments

Newsletter

Read all about it

Sign up to the free daily Punch newsletter