The whole airline business is built on insanely small margins. So it’s hardly a surprise to learn overnight that Jetstar makes its pittance of a profit not from ticket sales but from the sale of muffins and other “food” on board.
Note the inverted commas around the word food. As American satirist Dave Barry once said: “Airline food is not intended for human consumption. It’s intended as a form of in-flight entertainment, wherein the object is to guess what it is, starting with broad categories such as ‘mineral’ and ‘linoleum’.”
Overpriced food aside, Australian budget airlines are not all that bad. Sure, Jetstar’s a bit bogan and Virgin Blue’s a bit like a branch of the Church of the Almighty Cult of His Supreme Hipness Richard Branson. But mostly, they’re OK.
The planes on our budget airlines are typically brand spanking new, as beat-up old birds need spare parts more often and therefore cost more to run.
Aussie budget airlines also seem to have more or less the same number of staff and backroom paraphernalia as proper airlines like Qantas, give or take the occasional Virgin Blue software crash.
A friend who once flew low rent Irish carrier Ryanair swears he once saw the luggage-loading guy in orange overalls throw the bags onboard the plane, seal up the hold, then walk inside the terminal and become the flight-boarding announcement guy.
That doesn’t happen here. If you fly a budget airline in Australia, you’re not really compromising yourself at all. As long as you don’t buy the Branson biography.
So does it matter that they’re not making a dollar out of the thing they technically do for a living? McDonald’s sell fast food but actually make their money out of property and no one seems to care too much.
Air transport is a more serious game than hamburgers. And there are those who would say that if Jetstar is getting by selling $6.95 semi-defrosted muffins, it’s the first early warning sign of a business that both literally and figuratively could soon come crashing down.
As they say on Virgin Blue, “...there is a serious side to our flight today”. Well now, just how serious is it?
Facebook Recommendations
Read all about it
Punch live
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
@TheStalwart an analyst in Sydney said it was a "sad day" http://t.co/vh4Yu4OgDD. I think he was just exhausted and gave up analyzing
RT @NASA: Amazing views from the International Space Station of Pavlof Volcano erupting in Alaska. http://t.co/vqBkkiOful
US Google Doodle features a girl's touching depiction of her father's return from Iraq http://t.co/4LiRFOntTY
Recent posts
The latest and greatest
The Punch is moving house
Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…
Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?
I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…
Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”
In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go
Tim says:
They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go
Kel says:
If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
Superman needs saving
Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more
Most commented