It’s the Battle Royale the press gallery has been waiting for: “Juliar” vs “K-Rudd”. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (without the Good).

Gillard has a strong front line of some of the most prominent lights in the Labor Party. Kevin has a parade of freaks and malcontents, oh, and the Australian people.
RUDD, Kevin Michael
Born: 21 September 1957
Draft date: 3 October 1998
Knock outs: Beazley, Howard, Nelson, Turnbull, self
Nickname: Lazarus with an actual bypass
Nickname if you know him: F—-face
Strength: Strangers want to shake his hand
Weakness: Friends want to punch him in the face
Political achievements: 2007 Election victory, The Apology, Grocery Watch
Greatest contribution to humanity: Invented the phrase “programmatic specificity”
Biggest advantage: His enemies need to sleep
Allies: Jessica Rudd, Marcus Rudd, Nicholas Rudd, Jasper, Abby, Therese Rudd, Martin Ferguson, the chubby bearded guy, that Scottish leftie guy, Bob Katter.
Hero: was Dietrich Bonhoeffor now Mao Tse Tung
Favourite Film: Passion of the Christ
GILLARD, Julia Eileen
Born: 29 September 1961
Draft date: 3 October 1998
Knock outs: Rudd (TKO)
Nickname: Julia Gillard
Nickname if you know her: Julia
Strength: Running the country
Weakness: Press conferences
Political achievements: NBN, MySchool, Climate Change Tax, Mining Tax, defeating both Tony Abbott and Kevin Rudd in 2010 election
Trademark move: Repetition, Repetition, Repetition, Repetition…
Allies: the Labor Caucus, the public service, the Press Gallery, flight attendants, all living acquaintances of Kevin Rudd
Prominent Supporters (Gang): Wayne “Knuckles” Swan, Craig “Valium” Emerson, Bill “Beaconsfield” Shorten
Hero: Brutus
Favourite Film: Kill Bill Volume 2
Why she’ll win: Clinically sane
Why she’ll lose: Charisma of a manatee
Dark Horse Candidate
Black Caviar
Predicted Winner
Tony Abbott
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