With My Kitchen Rules coming to an end, news of the return of MasterChef couldn’t have been timelier.
For quality cooking shows, within a few short months, we’ll have gone from a smorgasbord to a piddling entrée. Let’s face it – five minutes of Fast Ed each week is not gonna cut it.
And if, like me, you’re a regular viewer of Man vs Wild, starring wilderness survival expert, Edward ‘Bear’ Grylls, you’ll have an extra reason to celebrate: you can toast the return of your appetite.
If you’re unacquainted with Bear, think Steve Irwin, but a crazier, scarier, more impulsive version, who is predisposed to eating every vile and unimaginable evil on four, eight or no legs.
Over the past four episodes Bear has consumed goat testicles, a decomposing calf’s eye (he boiled it first – can’t be too careful about hygiene I guess), live spiders and slugs, to name but a few of the culinary delights; before washing them down, not in the same sitting, fortunately, with the warm blood of a yak and a litre or two of his own urine slammed down in true ‘solo man’ fashion.
So why don’t I change channels? This has me stumped too. Sadly, I think I’m addicted. Apart from the guy’s despicable eating habits, he’s actually quite likeable (and any bloke who’s bold enough to christen his boys, Marmaduke and Huckleberry, in today’s conservative society, is alright by me).
But then again, maybe it’s my survival instincts: I tune-in because if I’m ever lost in the Andes wearing only my Speedos, or traipsing through the Amazon with nothing but my iPod for protection, oh, and a team of burly cameramen, it’s crucial I know what to do.
But back to the tucker, the things that have passed Bear’s lips in recent weeks have become too much to bear. So gut-churning in fact, I’ve even considered swapping from solids to an intravenous drip.
So, although Matt Preston scares my kids stupid with his suave Dracula looks, within days of the announcement of MasterChef’s return, he’s become our new poster boy.
I know when the show finally hits the air I’ll cry a thousand joyous tears into my newly laundered cravat.
Bear Grylls versus tasty grills – no contest - bring on MasterChef!
Don’t miss: Get The Punch in your inbox every day
Get The Punch on Facebook
Facebook Recommendations
Read all about it
Punch live
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
Recent posts
The latest and greatest
The Punch is moving house
Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…
Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?
I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…
Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”
In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go
Tim says:
They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go
Kel says:
If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
Superman needs saving
Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more
Most commented