Prev
Next

Making a meal of your family’s relationships

Susie Burrell

by Susie Burrell

30 Apr 05:45am

Must Reads

The Punch is moving house - this is a caption

The Punch is moving house

385

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this? - this is a caption

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

122

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming” - this is a caption

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

251

Filed under: Families, Food, Health, Obesity, Parenting, Society

32 comments

In the past week, how many times have you sat down together as a family and enjoyed a meal together? If you had to think about it, chances are it was far less than the recommended four times for optimal family functioning long term.

I can't imagine. Cartoon: Mark Knight

Long commutes, numerous after school activities coupled with relentless traffic tends to mean that family meals, during the week at least, are a thing of the past, with dinner often consumed at three or four different time intervals throughout the evening, with a range of different menu choices for the average busy, overcommitted family.

Imagine though, if you could improve your family’s health simply by making the commitment to enjoy regular family meal times? A number of studies have now shown that regular family meals appear to be linked to a number of positive health outcomes for both children and teens, including weight control, better psychosocial functioning and improved interpersonal relationships.

It is thought that the opportunity for families to communicate openly, parental modelling of ideal food behaviours, and the fact that food quality tends to be better at family meals are all factors that link family meal times to better health long term.

Despite the rapid rise in television shows that promote cooking at home and involving children in the kitchen, few would argue that a home-cooked meal from scratch is becoming less and less common as we grab other quick and easy options that can ensure dinner is on the table in minutes rather than hours.

Family meal times potentially influence family health via several platforms both in the short and long term. It is thought that the simple act of a family conversing and interacting provides much emotional support for children to help build resilience and their ability to deal with the demands and pressures that arise as part of day-to-day life.

From a nutritional perspective family meal times are an opportunity for young children to role model good eating behaviours from adults, to learn the appropriate manners, eating speed and have it reiterated that dinner does not always translate to 2 minute noodles or chicken nuggets with a few token vegetables. An opportunity for much needed time together to communicate, share, laugh and listen.

For many busy parents the thought of cooking up a family meal at the end of a long working day is overwhelming. It is also a fairly significant investment in your family’s future for research has shown that children who grow up in a family that enjoys a meal together at least four times each week do better at school, are less likely to have drug and alcohol problems and function better psychosocially.

So this week, instead of grabbing a takeaway menu and settling down in the front of the TV for the evening why not start a weekly ritual of a family meal? Aim for it to be the same meal each week, say Friday night dinner or Sunday lunch and involve the kids in selecting the menu. Set the table, give each family member an opportunity to talk about the week they are getting ready for and give each family member designated jobs.

Sitting down to enjoy a meal together is one of life’s most simple pleasures and one that families have been missing out on for too long, particularly working parents who find themselves not home until after 8pm every night. Even if you only manage a sit down meal once each week, make the commitment because the benefits spread far wider than just good nutrition.

Most commented

32 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • Bertrand says:

      06:27am | 30/04/12

      We eat at the table as a family 6 days a week and have since the firstborn had his first ever solids. TV is turned off.

      Friday nights we have pizza and a movie in the family room.

      Wouldn’t have it any other way.

      Reply

    • Aly says:

      08:27am | 30/04/12

      We’re similar, and we have a ‘no electronics’ rule at our table. Plus we go around the table and share our favourite thing that happened that day - it gives us a chance to share and reflect and find something good out of what can sometimes be a pretty crappy day.

      I couldn’t imagine not sharing a meal with my family. I’m lucky enough to be a SAHM at the moment (as in lucky that that is my desire and we can afford it… just) so we get to have breakfast and lunch together every day too. I’m not looking forward to missing out on these meal times (breakfast and lunch) when I return to the work force.

    • Pudel says:

      01:42pm | 30/04/12

      We aim for dinner as a family most nights, Mondays during term are difficult as the kids have dance from 5.15 to 7.15 all at different times.  So Monday night in our house is omlette night and the kids all eat an omlette after their individual lessons finish.  Friday nights they either have sausages at soccer training or take away, the rest of the week we usually sit and eat as a family,  Hubby works away a lot, so sometimes he is missing but we sit, no tv, no books and talk.  One of my children has a weight issue.  However he usually fines down once soccer starts again, so fingers crossed.
      I work fulltime as does hubby/

    • Mark says:

      07:28am | 30/04/12

      Would you recommend sitting down with your family if they are overweight, or are you better not mixing with them for fear they could influence you and also make you overweight.

      Reply

    • Chris says:

      07:40am | 30/04/12

      nice one Mark.

      Cheerio,
      Chris

    • Shane says:

      09:01am | 30/04/12

      If the whole family is overweight, might need a bigger table also. What does the Punch think? That Australians are made of large tables? Sheesh….

    • craig2 says:

      07:28am | 30/04/12

      I must admit, i’ve never eaten, as a family, anywhere else but the dining room table. Call it upbringing, call it good manners but to me, it’s the most easy way to talk to my family members away from the TV or other distractions.

      Reply

    • DJM says:

      07:46am | 30/04/12

      Recently my 15 year old daughter moved in with my wife and myself after 3 1/2 years of living with her mother.  She said that in that time they never ate meals together,  always in separate rooms at separate times.  We are both shift workers,  so it takes some juggling but we have sit down family meals at least 4 times a week,  with one of those meals picked and cooked by my daughter.  She loves the structure and she is noticeably happier,  more centred and has begun involving herself in extracurricular activities at school.  She has also lost weight.  It is difficult,  but it is worth the effort.

      Reply

    • sha says:

      10:42am | 30/04/12

      wow the perfect parent…first one I have ever met but then there you go….I never cease to learn.Veiled insults to mum maybe?

    • Bev says:

      10:57am | 30/04/12

      sha says:11:42am | 30/04/12

      Veiled insults to mum maybe?

      Perhaps.  I however see that is how this family works is good for the child.  Nothing wrong with that or does it clash with your possibly baised view that dads can never be as good as mum in raising children.

    • Sha says:

      04:06pm | 30/04/12

      @Bev.On the contrary. All kudos to him for being a great dad but the rest was unnecessary.

    • marley says:

      07:52am | 30/04/12

      I admit, being retired, and with just the two of us, this is not a problem I can readily identify with.  Almost all our meals are cooked from scratch, and we always sit down together at the dining table to enjoy it.  Music might be on, but TV is definitely off.

      I was brought up to always sit down together for meals, and never in front of the TV.  I was also brought up to help out with meal preparation, because both my parents worked.  I’m not sure why a family of four, for example, cannot work together to put a meal on the table on a regular basis.  Kids do the prep work, parents do the cooking.  As kids get older, they can do the cooking as well.  I know my sister and I were both getting meals for our family when we were in our mid teens.  And god knows, being able to cook a meal is an important life skill.

      Reply

    • Elphaba says:

      09:06am | 30/04/12

      You sound just like my folks, Marley.

      Most people I know had a family table.  As a single person, it’s more likely that we eat a meal in front of the TV, but mine is home-cooked 90% of the time.  My flatmate and I have separate lives, so we don’t eat together.  Twice a week at least I eat with friends at the pub.  If I had kids and a husband, I’d have the whole family table thing.  I don’t think it’s as uncommon as Susie is suggesting.

    • AdamC says:

      09:59am | 30/04/12

      Elphaba, I agree. Growing up, my parents both worked and still managed to put a meal on the dinner table most nights, and we ate together as a family. I cannot see why it should be so hard for the families of today to do the same.

      Marley, we were expected to coook growing up and I would certainly endorse getting teenage kids into the kitchen.

    • Nick says:

      12:37pm | 30/04/12

      I was brought up the same way and I’m the same with my two kids.  We lay the table, light a candle, and eat dinner with no distractions every evening.  I also sit down with them for breakfast every morning.  But first I bring my wife toast, tea, and fruit in bed and get 30mins of peace and quiet while she and the kids negotiate who gets what.  On the odd occasions where we don’t have these daily rituals I feel like I’ve missed out.  On the other hand the kids think there’s nothing more special than being allowed to watch a DVD whilst eating.

    • Sarah says:

      08:47am | 30/04/12

      I have 2 kids aged under 10.
      We only ever eat in the dining room. Breakfast and dinner together every single day, no exceptions. The only difference is if someone is away - then the rest of us eat in the dining room without them. Mealtimes are about sitting and talking together.
      The TV is off half the time as we’re all doing more interesting things, and you can’t hear it from our dining room anyway (I think we are weird, we have a single TV - in the loungeroom. Some friends have 2 or 3.)
      Lunch - 5 days a week is at school/work, weekends are busy and TV is off, we might eat on the back deck or in the lounge or something, but not with TV on.
      Apparently we are the exception to the rule. Maybe we just have more class than most, but all of our friends and family do the same thing - dinner is at the table, without TV. It’s true that we’re not bogans - that might be the key.

      Reply

    • Rose says:

      01:39pm | 30/04/12

      I was always taught that if you consider yourself to have more class than others then you clearly don’t, being humble and respectful of others shows class. while eating at the table doesn’t make you any less bogan or more classy than eating in front of the telly.
      We eat at the table with the TV off because it works for us, is easier for me to manage financially and practically and we enjoy it. We certainly don’t do it to pretend we’re better than others, that would be just ignorant.

    • Shane says:

      09:05am | 30/04/12

      I would like to know where these figures come from for articles like this. We have 3 kids, 12, 9 & 5 and sit down to eat together at least 6 nights out of 7. There might be that one day where we’ll go out to eat, and even if we do get “junk food” one night, if we don’t eat at the place, we’ll sit at the table at home and eat it together.

      Usually the TV is on in the background, but quite often it gets turned off or some music is played through the PS3. Luckily none of the kids are at that stage where they’re thumbs are glued to mobile phones just yet, so that’s not an issue either.

      But still, I would like to know where these figures come as what I’ve described above seems pretty standard for all the families of my kids friends and also my family and friends also.

      Reply

    • ibast says:

      09:37am | 30/04/12

      Yeah it seems to me some journalist is projecting their bad habits to all of us.  “Dinner’s on the table” is the standard at our place.  Same for Sunday morning Breakfast.

      The kids get occasional meal in front of the TV, but that would be maybe once a month.

    • Tony the Bastard says:

      09:41am | 30/04/12

      I don’t get it. Socialism has taught me that the nuclear family is defunct and that I should look to the Govermment for all my needs! How then am
      I supposed to sit down for a meal with the Government? Maybe if I just have re-runs of question time playing on the TV whilst I eat? Well that will put me off my food and ameliorate the obesity problem! Hey now I get it!

      Reply

    • Kheiron says:

      09:54am | 30/04/12

      I stopped reading at the second paragraph.
      Do you honestly think we’re not sitting down to a traditional family meal because we work too hard?
      How many of these ‘separate for meals’ families follow the pic and eat on front of the TV or computer?
      I’d say it’s more to do with the availability of and growing dependence on continual ‘entertainment’.
      You’d be hard pressed finding a teenager willing to set at a table for half an hour instead of watch an episode of Neighbours. You’d also be hard pressed to find a parent willing to force the issue.

      Reply

    • Rose says:

      11:20am | 30/04/12

      My family consists of myself, my husband and 7 kids aged between 12 and 22 and everyone sits down at the table to eat when it is dinner time unless they are out. They TV is turned off 90% of the time (there is pretty much nothing left on TV that’s worth watching anyway, and definitely nothing that is too good to miss,even if there was it’s better to download it anyway) and there is conversation and good humour most nights (other nights are fairly quiet) The kids would probably mutiny if we stopped doing it, they are often the ones to turn off the TV first and I have never had to force the issue. Occasionally when they were younger they would ask to eat in front of the TV but never really challenged me when I said No. Having said that I would most definitely force the issue if I had to, it’s my home and its something I consider important therefore I would fight to keep doing it,
      There’s another reason for doing it, it’s the easiest and cheapest way to feed that many people every day. I cook one meal and I do it in a large quantity, I do try to ensure that if someone doesn’t like a particular meal we eat it when they’re not home, or I’ll leave different things off their plates if they don’t want it but there is no way I would cook more than one meal per day. I do this despite working and studying (i.e. doing way more than full time hours).
      I think you’ll find that the families that do it have always done it and their kids have just grown accustomed to doing it that way. It’s not “we’re better parents” or any thing else like that it’s just that it’s something we did with our families growing up and it’s practical and enjoyable to continue doing it and I for one will never stop the traditional evening mealtime ritual. The fact that research now backs us up is just a bonus, although I must say that I think we’ve known all along that there were enormous benefits to bringing the family together for meals, even if it’s the only 1/2 hour to an hour they spend together in the day,

    • pj says:

      10:04am | 30/04/12

      Its good to know that we can still put food on the table to eat !!!

      Reply

    • Anjuli says:

      11:01am | 30/04/12

      Sounds as if Susie is writing about life in the UK ,as every time there is a programme on TV made by Britain they seem to be eating in front of the Television . In fact I have a relation in the UK who don’t even have a dinning table,it isn’t as if they don’t have the money, as both parents have high earnings.

      Reply

    • Thetruthwouldn'thurt says:

      11:44am | 30/04/12

      We live in a step family. Myself, my husband and 4 kids between us. Dealing with the comings and goings and 2 ex’s means that our “adult” time is precious.

      We eat with the kids at the table once a week. (sometimes twice)

      The kids all eat at the table, together, every night. I either sit wtih them or I’m “around” talking to them the whole time. We rarely do takeaway, (the last time we got macca’s driving out on a family holiday it cost us $80!), and they don’t eat in front of the tv.

      My husband and I eat later so we can actually spend some time together! It works for us and it works for the kids.

      I agree with the majority sentiment that most families do eat together. Certainly not in separate rooms or junk food/2 minute noodles type of scenarios. No one I know anyway.

      Reply

    • Ben C says:

      12:13pm | 30/04/12

      At both mine and my fiance’s homes, we eat as a family at the dining table. At my place, though, we have the TV on - our dining/living area is one open space. Not ideal, but we always have the TV tuned to the news when we’re having dinner - it seems to have worked as a great way for us to discuss the goings-on in this world.

      Reply

    • Lauren Bunker says:

      12:43pm | 30/04/12

      Remember folks Susie Burrell doesnt eat meals weith her own famlily shes too busy jogging on the spot with all of her imaginary friends and complaining at each other about how dissapointed they are that their families all actually eat.

      Reply

    • Les S says:

      01:05pm | 30/04/12

      How many times? Every night, albeit with the tele on to watch the news (mainly).

      Reply

    • Ruth says:

      01:10pm | 30/04/12

      I have five children agged from 7 to 14 years… They have all been involved with the meal preparation since they were old enough to follow simple instructions. eg please get me a carrot out of the fridge…
      My youngest daughter holds the title of Champion Egg Cracker as she has been able to sucessfully crack eggs into a bowl since she was three, without even the tiniest piece of shell. Each of my children have their favourite meal to make, and are able to prepare with minimum assisstance from me - evn though I am there to ‘supervise’...
      So we have a 14 year old who makes the best Bolagnaise sauce, a 12 year old who can make a variety of dishes from quiches to cakes, a 10 year old who can make a great potato bake, an 8 year old who makes a mean tuna mornay, and a 7 year old who assists everyone else in the kitchen whenever she is ‘allowed’, and who can throw somoe ingredients together and make a salad in minutes.
      I am given the opportunity to prepare meals by myself on occaisions… smile
      But I would not have it any other way… When we decide on meals everyone wants to help, and the best thing is how proud they are of their meal that they have prepared when they place it on the table.

      Reply

    • Joan Bennett says:

      01:22pm | 30/04/12

      It’s because people don’t like spending time with their children.  They’d rather spend time with their peers, naturally.  The generation gap means it is harder to find any common ground, so conversation is awkward or forced.  This is why there are such small families nowadays.  They realise after they’ve had one or two children that parenthood is not what society presents it to be.

      Reply

    • Ben says:

      04:03pm | 30/04/12

      This article falls into the classic correlation = causation trap.

      Take this paragraph: “A number of studies have now shown that regular family meals appear to be linked to a number of positive health outcomes for both children and teens, including weight control, better psychosocial functioning and improved interpersonal relationships.”

      The take-away (pardon the pun) is that happy, healthy families are more likely to sit-down and eat together. Not that sitting-down together for dinner will make you happier and healthier.

      That said, we all have dinner together every night. It is wonderful!

      Reply

    • What's for dinner? says:

      06:38pm | 30/04/12

      There’s nothing good on tele these days anyway.

      Reply
 
Sorry, comments are now closed for this article.

Facebook Recommendations

Read all about it

Punch live

Up to the minute Twitter chatter

Malcolm Farr

farrm51 22 May 13 09:44AM

Colleague Googled http://t.co/kL2eCAMvdj today and this was top result. Thanks fellas. http://t.co/G9ctaPaGqA

Paul Colgan

Colgo 22 May 13 07:23AM

Amen, Senator... John McCain To Tim Cook: ‘Why The Hell Do I Have To Keep Updating Apps On My iPhone?’http://t.co/V9XIbzw752

Malcolm Farr

farrm51 21 May 13 09:12PM

@nigelmcbain I don't see the nexus between gay marriage and gay sex education in schools. ACL does. Health issues should be taught whatever

Daniel Piotrowski

drpiotrowski 21 May 13 08:34PM

@jennijenni a few companies are known to do that - ask for story ideas from job applicants so they can steal them later

See all tweets

Recent posts

The latest and greatest

The Punch is moving house

by The Punch Team

385

The Punch is moving house

Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

by Hannah Harborow

122

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

by Sarrah Le Marquand

251

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…

Nosebleed Section

choice ringside rantings

From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go

Tim says:

They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]

From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go

Kel says:

If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]

Light weight

Gentle jabs to the ribs

Superman needs saving

Superman needs saving

Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more

28 comments

Newsletter

Read all about it

Sign up to the free News.com.au newsletter