Blow the trumpet. Warn the people. The Rapture is nearly upon us.

Feeling pretty good about it, actually. Pic: AFP

Tremble in your trendy sneakers, all ye infidels, unbelievers and sinners. For a decrepit old nutjob in California says that on May 21 at 6pm Judgement Day will begin. That should be 11am Sunday, AEST - but news reports suggest it could happen at 6pm Saturday night all around the world, so we’re going to maintain barely suppressed panic for as long as it takes.

Doomsdayer Harold Camping says only 2 or 3 per cent of the Earth’s population will be ‘raptured’ up into Heaven while the rest of us suffer through floods and earthquakes for a bit before burning in the pit of eternal hell for a really really long time. So stay tuned! We’ll be blogging it from the City of Churches but we want to hear from people right across the country. If you spot a sign of the pending Apocalypse, let us know!

SUNDAY

10:47 am
RIght. Well. Apparently Heaven is a crumbling shack in Victor Harbor. It’s much colder than you’d think, and drizzly. All part of some grand plan, I suppose. Oh, and they allow dogs, which is nice.

SATURDAY

06:01 pm
Hmmmm

5:00 pm
Half an hour to go, folks on the east coast, if the ‘rolling apocalypse’ theory is correct…. But there’s still hope it’ll be more like tomorrow morning. How’s the sky looking? Tinges of red in SA. Have decided to head to Victor Harbor - I hear it’s called ‘God’s waiting room’, which sounds appropriate.

4:23 pm
There’s an ominous silence from NZ, where it has already struck 6pm…

2:50 pm
And lo, the clouds have closed over the sun and the flood-causing liquid is falling from the sky.

1:15 pm
There’s a Sufjan Stevens song on the radio. IT HAS TRUMPETS IN IT.

12:28 pm
Almost time for the Last Lunch. Shit. Nothing in the fridge. I REFUSE to spend any of my precious remaining minutes with the bogans at the St Agnes Coles. Off to the Inglewood Inn for a schnitty, then. Apparently they’ve put a special Festinger sauce on the menu.

12.10 pm
Am afraid the handy Rapture Ready site is still in denial. They’re still collecting donations.

12.04 pm
Ground looking slightly soggy. Could be the precursor to the flood that will eventually cover the entire Earth. What’s good end-of-the-world music? I’m thinking something with ukeleles.

11.54 am
I hope that deep thudding sensation is just my hungover heart struggling to beat.

11.02 am
Skies over Adelaide looking ominous. Bird in tree looks like it’s thinking about flying backwards.Wishing I hadn’t wasted so much time in the toilet.

203 comments

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    • Samuel says:

      12:49pm | 21/05/11

      OMG, the wind is picking up here. Oh, that’s because of the front that meteorologists predicted. How does one kooky old man get so much airtime?

    • Judy of Qld Aus - still in one peice here says:

      06:37pm | 21/05/11

      Id like to know why this rich cult leader who predicts the end is nye, hasnt openly given his home, clothes and money away before the event, just to prove to the world he is a good person and that he wont need it where he is going. Still waiting.

    • john says:

      09:49pm | 21/05/11

      Wouldn’t it be a strange twist if this 89 year old somehow died on the day he predicted the world would end - for him, then he definitely wouldn’t need his house,money, clothes etc.

    • Bikinis on Top says:

      12:49pm | 21/05/11

      11 am 22 May 2011 is the end of the world.
      That means that the end of the world will occur with the start of the Sunday Footy Show on Channel 9 and the commencement of Divine Service on Channel 2.
      Now that the Football seasons have been drastically cut short in 2011, I declare that St George Illawarra and Geelong are the NRL Rugby League and AFL Australian Rules Champions respectfully using the first past the post system.
      Thanks

    • The Galah from Hervey Bay says:

      12:49pm | 21/05/11

      It won’t stop raining here in the Bay , does anyone else have this problem . ?
      My son has the tinny ready but it’s hardly the Ark - at least i can go with him , the wife says she will be happy on top of the roof so long as she has plenty of knitting with her.
      Could be some good in this EOW stuff , i can throw a line in at the front door.
      But hey ! if this rain is supposed to drown us all it gonna take a lot longer than today .  Camping is a fraud .  So’s camping in this weather.

    • Anthony says:

      12:50pm | 21/05/11

      As a card carrying Christian bloke I can tell you that the return of Jesus isn’t going to be known by man before hand. Cults that reckon they can predict it are deluded.

      (Now I’ll wait for the inevitable atheist attacks that I’m deluded. Guess I’ll cross that bridge when it arrives).

    • P. Darvio says:

      01:33pm | 21/05/11

      Quote: “Cults that reckon they can predict it are deluded.”

      So…..Christianity is a Cult? - yep I already knew that, along with all other religions including the 2 other Abrahamic Ponzi Scheme Fraud Cults. At least these Raptor…sorry Rapture – (Apologies - I get easily confused with those Dinosaurs on the Ark…) people actually believe in the Bible - I’ll give them some credit for that - as deluded as they are - the rest of the pretend Christians (who don’t believe in 95% of the Bible) shouldn’t cast stones (Oh dear ......how very Christian of me….)

      Quote: “....card carrying Christian bloke…” - so you have a “licence” to practice your Cult of Christianity? Sounds like Christian Nazi Germany and that Christian Hitler bloke.

      Do you actually believe in anything in your Bible or not? Or have you just selected the so-called better bits to suit your politics and Moral/Ethics?

    • Stephy says:

      03:14pm | 21/05/11

      Anthony, I’m with you there. He’s the kind of nut that gives Christians a bad name.
      1 Thesselonians 5: 1-3 and Matthew 24: 36 kind of says that. Ask any Christian not affiliated with this doomsayer above and they’ll tell you it’s rubbish too.

      Also, biblically, the order of events described by Harold Camping is out of whack. The dead will be raised, everyone will be judged, THEN the dissapearing will happen. But by that time you kind of know what’s happening already. The reason above is why I believe people don’t go to heaven straight away too - you can’t go to heaven if you haven’t been judged.

      Mind you, if the end of the world does come tonight I’m gonna be buggered from a long day in the garden. And I didn’t even have a chance to finish the pruning either….

    • Sceptic says:

      05:42pm | 21/05/11

      P. Darvio - I’m glad you proved your point there mate, proving that your opinion is obviously the correct one and using insulting anti-christian retoric to comment on an otherwise polite comment. Way to go mate.

      Anthony, mate I agree “and the end of days shall come as a thief in the night”

      But just in case I will wait to order dinner until 610 pm.

    • The Galah from Hervey Bay says:

      05:58pm | 21/05/11

      P. Darvio - do you really have to play the Christian persecution card on this hand .  ?
      It may be fashionable to you but it causes extreme offense all round.
      Sure , cults are the rotten apple in the barrel , but the entire barrel is not contaminated .
      You have been brainwashed with petty nonsense , bias , hatred and no respect at all for the people around you.
      Take your extemities to a atheist hate session - you would mix well in an organisation founded for deniers , misfits , mentally insecure hate specialists and psychopaths .

    • P. Darvio says:

      06:42pm | 21/05/11

      Well - its past 6pm – and all that these Christian people and all their fellow Christians around the World have done is scare millions of defenceless children with stupid evil rot, but we know that Christians don’t care about Children as they continue to let children be abused/raped by Christian priests and then try and blame others, just like that disgusting report the Christian Church put out a few days.

      http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2011/05/20/church-study-blames-swinging-sixties-for-deviant-priests/

      Shame, Shame on all Christians and those Christians who attack people for merely pointing out the repugnant evil reality of all religion including their particular cult of Christianity.

    • Danfield says:

      07:38pm | 21/05/11

      <shameless_plug>
      P. Darvio: yet another strongly religious atheist. He heard that Science limits itself to the observable, and just kind of assumed that to mean nothing else exists. Now his hobby is abusing anyone who actually understands that Science’s self-imposed rules are not a statement of fact, rather just a statement of methodology.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tf92Z9wig1A
      </shameless plug>

    • The Galah from Hervey Bay says:

      07:53pm | 21/05/11

      P. Darvio -  Are you seeking responses. ?  Is that it. ?  Make you feel good when the offended Christian posts back . ?
      Shame . Shame on * your * cult based on hatred and revenge . Shame on your putrid generalisations designed to cast your vomitous vitriol over all faiths simply to satisfy your psychotic , misconceived illusions.
      Shame on your lack of respect for the people who live and work with you.
      When you sleep tonight , i trust you will do so with a clear conscience and peace of mind.
      Now that i have spoken my mind i am as bad as you - i will pray for you P.Darvio - that you might have your mind cleansed of hate - and forgiveness for my own shortcomings.

    • Austin 3:16 says:

      08:58pm | 21/05/11

      Yeah my cult is special right guys? It’s the one and only it’s the truth. It’s All the other cults that are wrong.

    • Martin says:

      09:12pm | 21/05/11

      P. Darvio- How can you say that every Christian is at fault it. It’s nigh (get it lol) on insulting and stereotyping. The crazy baffoons are only a pretty small minority group of Christians compared to Catholics, Protestants, Anglicans and what not. Throwing around that ” I’m atheist so I’m better than you” crap must make you feel so tough behind that desk right? By you “logical” way of thinking am I correct to assume that ALL Muslims blew up the Twin towers and there by all guilty. Good form bud.

    • jim says:

      09:43pm | 21/05/11

      @P.Davio,

      Thats what the Chinese Communists say.

    • acotrel says:

      05:27am | 22/05/11

      @Anthony If someone publicly claimed to be Jesus today, the media would crucify him! Or perhaps he’d just be quietly locked up in a psyche ward? I wonder how many time he has returned and had tha t happen to him?

    • P. Darvio says:

      10:26am | 22/05/11

      Quote:  “i will pray for you P.Darvio “

      I suggest you “pray” for all the children your religion continues to abuse/terrorise on a daily basis, those children who have already been raped by your Christian Priests, and for those “Christians” who think there is nothing wrong…..but I guess that would be too much to ask. Better still how about you write to your Church and protest about the ongoing Christian Child Rape Scandal?

      Seems the only difference between Camping and Christians on these blogs is the date of the “Rapture” - yet you condemn them and call them a Cult because they predicted a date? I hope you all understand that hoping/praying for the genocidal slaughter of billions of innocent humans, men, women and children, is truly sickening, barbaric and evil. No wonder humanity has so many problems.

    • Mike says:

      10:31am | 22/05/11

      Acotrel, he just did.  He’s in the Riverland in SA.

      http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/south-australia/im-jesus-riverland-man-says/story-e6frea83-1226055976446

      Although being a lapsed Christian, I found P. Darvio’s bile against a whole religion to be just downright rude to an otherwise polite post by Anthony.  It was disgusting.  Yes, it is not without it’s faults, perpetrated by some at the top or in positions of power, but to tar a whole ‘supporter base’ was just terrible.

      P. Darvio, no one ever bags Buddhists or Jews - why ?  Because the first have ‘never done anything wrong’ and the second, well, you can’t say anything bad about them, full stop.  However, for years, Christians were fair game and now you can bag Muslims because of 9/11.  Great, let’s all hate each other and bring the end of the world on anyway when the nukes start flying.  God Bless You.

    • P. Darvio says:

      12:38pm | 22/05/11

      Just watched (with some reluctance) the head of the Christian Church talk to the Astronauts on the Space Station

      http://www.space-multimedia.nl.eu.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=6744:sts-134-esa-asi-vip-event-with-pope-benedict-xvi&catid=1:latest&Itemid=1

      ...funny - he didn’t mention how lucky we all to have avoided “Rapture”....never mentioned it? Surely HE must know something?

      Quote: Great, let’s all hate each other and bring the end of the world on anyway when the nukes start flying.

      M’mmm – let’s see and who controls the bulk of the Nukes? – Crazy Muslims in Pakistan and soon Iran, crazy religious Jews in Israel who think GOD gave them the land they occupy, crazy Christians in the US where majority believe the Bible is literally true and “Rapture” is part of that, and crazy Russians who believe in the same Christian GOD – Holy Nuclear War indeed……doesn’t Hezbollah have in the centre of its flag a mushroom cloud? Oh I forgot India – aren’t they mostly Hindu and Muslims?

      Maybe you worried about North Korea – I mean their real pinkie communist “atheists” aren’t they…

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Il-sung

      “Kim was raised in a Presbyterian family; his maternal grandfather was a Protestant minister, his father had gone to a missionary school and was an elder in the Presbyterian Church, and both his parents were reportedly very active in the religious community. Kim was an accomplished church organist.”

      What the…. !!!!

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Jong-il#Birth

      “Official biographers claim that his birth at Baekdu Mountain was foretold by a swallow, and heralded by the appearance of a double rainbow over the mountain and a new star in the heavens.”

      What the….. !!

      “…birth…foretold by a swallow…“ and “…a new star in the Heavens”…M’mmmm – this has a familiar ring to it – where have I heard all this before…? Maybe that swallow was really an angel? Maybe his mother was a virgin as well….?

      Seems these nuclear communists used the Christian Bible as inspiration. Still these communists are hardly orginally on fairy stories on Miraculous births are they now.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miraculous_births

      Zoroaster loves you…

    • The Galah from Hervey Bay says:

      01:36pm | 22/05/11

      P. Darvio :  Yes , most Christians offer up prayer for those children molested by various church clergy…......and police , and lawyers , and judges , and scout masters , and nurses , and care workers , and counsellors , and soldiers , and train drivers , and firemen , and teachers.  Have you conveniently forgotten that this terrible act is performed every day , by every profession , trade , by people from all walks of life .  ? 
      Are you aware that offenders are of both genders. ?

      More than likely you are aware , but you coveniently single out the clergy to suit your spurious blanket cover claims .
      I have no idea of your profession or trade , but i would bet a dollar that offenders are also from that group.

      The sickening barbaric evil of child rape and molestation to which you refer and abhor , is right throughout the community.
      Your ignorance of the truth is a contradiction to your own argument.

      Currently , humanity certainly * is * beset with problems - those problems , in the main are the attacks on Christianity by ignorant idiots whose intent is to gain attention to their unscrupulous claims , by the use of outright lies , half truths and generalisations.

    • Adrian says:

      02:03pm | 22/05/11

      @Martin - Those “crazy buffoons” may be only a small minority of religious believers, but P. Darvio is right . Religious extremists can only exist because so called “moderates” protect and support the same ideologies from which extremist beliefs spring. Ergo, “moderate” religious believers must accept some responsibility for the actions of extremists, even if they didn’t carry out the attacks themselves. As for the rest of your comment, feel free to show where P. Darvio has claimed to “better than you” because of his/her atheism. Or are straw men fallacies and personal insults the best you can manage?

    • Adrian says:

      03:50pm | 22/05/11

      @Galah from Hervey Bay - the reason clergy are singled out is because unlike the other professions you mention, there has been an ongoing cover-up by religious leaders at the highest level to protect the church’s image and shield clergy from justice. This situation is unique, a fact which you conveniently overlook as you accuse others of dishonesty. The rest of your comment reveals little more than a Christian with a persecution complex.  Christians continue to occupy a priveledged position in society; to claim that they are persecuted is as pathetic as it is dishonest.

    • The Galah from Hervey Bay says:

      05:37pm | 22/05/11

      Adrian :  ..........so you think all the other professions don’t try to cover up their crimes , that their families don’t try to cover the shame , that colleagues don’t blow the whistle to avoid unfavourable attention.  ?

      You are naive in the extreme and you are simply using this unfair emphasis to back atheism’s attack on Christianity.
      Your single minded intent *is * to persecute Christians , though you deny it , by use of lies and distortions .

      There is no dishonesty in my statement that atheism exists on the persecution syndrome , and you display the symptoms of that insidious condition through your ill-informed comments along with P. Darvio.

      There was a time when i would sit back and ignore the attacks , the lies , the distortions and misconceptions derived from misperceptions.
      No more !

    • Adrian says:

      08:07pm | 22/05/11

      @Galah from Hervey Bay - you have made some very serious allegations. I challenge you to provide a single example of dishonesty in anything I have written. I won’t hold my breath though; you have nothing substantive to offer, just a lot of anti-atheist bigotry, dishonesty and personal insults. For someone who decries hate speech, you do a pretty good line in hatred yourself. Mirrors, mate - take a look in one sometime.

    • The Galah from Hervey Bay says:

      09:02pm | 22/05/11

      Adrian - i deal in facts , not allegations . The truth is unacceptable to you as you deal solely in the anti- Christian dogma supplied via brainwash from the Atheist foundation . In short you are mentally manipulated by an organisation based on hatred , bigotry and lies . You have lost your individuality and i pity your long term perceptions of right and wrong.

    • Adrian says:

      10:28pm | 22/05/11

      Adrian - i deal in facts , not allegations . The truth is unacceptable to you as you deal solely in the anti- Christian dogma supplied via brainwash from the Atheist foundation . In short you are mentally manipulated by an organisation based on hatred , bigotry and lies . You have lost your individuality and i pity your long term perceptions of right and wrong.

      Galah - you deal in facts, do you? How about providing some, then, instead of vague accusations unsupported by any credible evidence? Where, for example, is the evidence for a culture of cover-ups in other professions that you alluded to in your previous comment? I notice you haven’t answered my challenge, either. What’s the matter? Can’t you do it? If you can’t or won’t support your accusations perhaps you should reconsider making them in the first place. The rest of your comment is little more than your usual empty bluster, but here’s a hint: why don’t you actually try asking people what they think instead of rudely (and wrongly) presuming that you already know.

    • acotrel says:

      10:05am | 23/05/11

      @Mike did you read the last line:
      ‘In one recording he said: “There’s probably a million people who say they’re Jesus and most of them are in asylums. But one of us has to be. How do I know I am? Because I remember everything about my life.” ‘

      This guy could be the real thing?

    • MikeH says:

      10:26am | 23/05/11

      @Adrian: “Religious extremists can only exist because so called “moderates” protect and support the same ideologies from which extremist beliefs spring…” So, by your argument, the Australian Labor Party (moderate Left) bears some responsibility for the human rights abuses, oppression and genocide, committed by Communist regimes throughout the world? And the Libs (moderate Right) bear some responsibility for the same, from fascist regimes?

    • Adrian says:

      11:39am | 23/05/11

      @Mike - they would, if their core ideologies were the same - in the way that core religious beliefs are the same among believers, from moderates to extremists. But they’re not the same, a fact of which I’m sure you are perfectly aware. Or are you seriously suggesting that the Australian Labour Party shares the same core values as, say, the Khmer Rouge under Pol Pot? That’s an absurd claim.

    • Anne71 says:

      01:01pm | 23/05/11

      P. Darvio - it’s folks like you that give atheists a bad name. And I say that as a Christian, in that I try to follow the teachings of Christ. You know, peace, love, tolerance, love thine enemy and that sort of thing.
      And before you start up with that petty “invisible friend” stuff, let me remind you that Jesus Christ did, in fact, exist.  You don’t have to believe that he was the Son of God, but he did exist.

    • MikeH says:

      04:08pm | 23/05/11

      @Adrian: I’m sorry, but I’m clearly a little slow, We can grossly generalise about religious ideologies but not about political ones for what reason?

    • Adrian says:

      10:59pm | 23/05/11

      @MikeH - I have already answered that question.

    • bikinis on top says:

      12:52pm | 21/05/11

      as expected , Labor is the Federal Government when the end of the world comes.
      As expected St George Illawarra and Geelong are the NRL and AFL Champions for 2011 as the the first past the post as the season has been cut short..

    • Stephy says:

      03:18pm | 21/05/11

      You know the end of the world is a good one when Geelong top the charts.

    • persephone says:

      12:53pm | 21/05/11

      I have taken Tory’s advice and am wearing clean underwear - so important to be ‘nice’ at times like this.

      Meanwhile, the US government has issued advice on surviving zombie attacks (I kid you not).

      http://emergency.cdc.gov/socialmedia/zombies_blog.asp

    • Gladys says:

      01:13pm | 21/05/11

      Gillard must be hoping it’s real. She’ as popular as a plague of mosquitoes up here in Queensland.

    • Ben81 says:

      02:09pm | 21/05/11

      I’m not wearing any underwear, I hope that’s not some kind of sin or something.  Feels good enough to be one :D

    • persephone says:

      02:26pm | 21/05/11

      Ben!

      How will you face God, knowing that your tackle is hanging free?

    • Amy Sturt says:

      02:57pm | 21/05/11

      Given that most of the pranks surrounding the Rapture right now involve people leaving old clothes and shoes placed out on pathways and front gardens, I’d imagine the theory goes that you’d be naked anyway… Just sayin’.

    • Likes Joining Dots says:

      04:15pm | 21/05/11

      Good call Pers, missed out on the clean undies for the Royal Wedding, but this time I’m not taking any chances. You have to love a good countdown.

      Ben81 - not being a vulture here, but if your shoes are all that’s left behind, (and they fit me), do you mind if I like, y’know, grab them. The Rapture is way better value than the Op Shops these days.

    • Old Geezer says:

      05:50pm | 21/05/11

      Persephone, here’s a question for you: Does God wear clothes?

    • persephone says:

      08:41pm | 21/05/11

      OG

      has in every picture I’ve seen of him.

      Are you suggesting Michelangelo got it wrong?

    • Tator says:

      11:41am | 22/05/11

      For those not in the know, never forget the first two rules
      Rule 1-  Cardio - need it to outrun the zombies
      Rule 2 - The double tap, don’t be stingy with those bullets

    • bikinis on top says:

      12:54pm | 21/05/11

      Ideally, the movie, ” I am Legend” with Will Smith was appropriatel;y on GO last night.

    • BobM says:

      01:47pm | 21/05/11

      ‘Bucket List’ is on Ch 9 at 9.35…...if anyone is left to watch it…..  wink

      and ‘Just Like Heaven’ on Ch 7 !

    • Westernone says:

      12:57pm | 21/05/11

      Oh good, thanks for the timeline, though 11am aest is 9am here, it’s a bit early. I like to sleep in on Sundays. Pooh, Perhaps if I wear my tinfoil hat to bed (made especially for the occasion) I can sleep through the whole thing?

    • dancan says:

      01:00pm | 21/05/11

      Happy Rapture day everyone!

    • Glen says:

      01:01pm | 21/05/11

      As a true atheist I am content to say here - in front of God on Judgement Eve gasp - what a total waste of time religion is and that a whole bunch of Christian know it alls are about to resoundingly disappointed, once again I might add. Mao summed it up best, “religion is poison”. I mean seriously the Rapture is even going to take ‘em at 6pm across each of the timezones - that is pretty considerate of God to spare the good people jet lag. Religions everywhere need to evolve with the times i.e. cease to exist.

    • Amanda says:

      04:21pm | 21/05/11

      As a Christian I agree, religion is poison. Religion = rules and regulations. Good thing God got rid of the law when Jesus died on the cross and abolished organised religion. Unfortunately the human race thinks they know better and continue to organise themselves into religions and then say they are representing God. I’m not religious at all, I simply have a relationship with God. Its called faith.

    • mel says:

      10:29pm | 21/05/11

      Thank goodness, Amanda, christianity doesn’t have any rules or regulations, otherwise we’d have to call it a religion. Oh, hang on, those ten commandment things! Oh again, the rule about accepting Jesus as your saviour, otherwise you won’t get into heaven. Sorry, but christianity still sound like a religion, no matter what whacky definitions you like to make up about your faith.

    • cogunn says:

      11:07pm | 21/05/11

      Amanda:

      “abolished organised religion”!!

      Have you read the Book of Acts, or any of the other Christian Greek Scriptures that deal with the events after his death? Christianity, after Jesus’ death, was highly organised!

      God is a God of order, not confusion. 1 Corinthians 14:33.

      True Christians are in harmony with each other on a worldwide scale, and they obey God as ruler rather than men. Without Holy Spirit, people who claim to be Christians can’t live in peace and harmony on a worldwide scale - so they have to come up with an excuse. And that excuse is “religion is bad” and “just have a personal relationship with God!”

      When Satan seduced eve into eating from the Tree of Knowledge, he was promoting the idea that it is better to decide for yourself what is good and bad, rather that accept the “rules” that God himself established.

    • acotrel says:

      05:35am | 22/05/11

      @Mel ‘Do unto others’ is not prescriptive legislation.  It’s performance based!

    • austin 3:16 says:

      10:14am | 22/05/11

      Hey Amanda,

      Jesus disagrees with you - Matthew 5:
        17 “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. 18 For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished.

    • Sven Gali says:

      01:02pm | 21/05/11

      Ukeleles ?

      Right. I’m off to meet the rapture on two fast wheels, as I’ve long anticipated.

    • The Liberal Loafer says:

      01:10pm | 21/05/11

      Europe
      The Final Countdown

    • Amy Sturt says:

      01:11pm | 21/05/11

      The Rapture can’t happen, I refuse to go to heaven a Melbournian.

    • Shane Coghlan says:

      01:12pm | 21/05/11

      Larry Emdur: “If the world ends today and the devil looks up from hell and says to me ‘Larry Emdur COME ON DOWN!! ’ ..I’ll kick him in the nuts sooo hard”

      Brilliant

    • nossy says:

      01:14pm | 21/05/11

      My lovely and I have elected to go out with bubbly and music Punchers. Come 11am Sunday when we may or may not be “raptured” as per good old Harold’s prediction we will be ready primed with hard liquor and listening to The Chairman Of the Board , Frank Sinatra, singing his classic “My Way”. “And now the end is near ......” Beam us up Scotty !
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeFiXnEBvBg

    • Editorial says:

      01:15pm | 21/05/11

      We at the Roswell Gazette have been preparing for this for a long time and will be reporting from a space ship parked behind the moon,Don’t worry about me I have kidnapped Penelope Cruz,Jennifer Hawkin and Pip Middleton to help repopulate when you are all dead,so I wont miss you,leave your money on the fridge!

    • Gladys says:

      01:15pm | 21/05/11

      REM it’s the end of the world song comes to kind.

    • Valerie Woodruffe says:

      01:21pm | 21/05/11

      Forgive me father for I have sinned, I have

    • persephone says:

      01:37pm | 21/05/11

      It will be interesting to see who vanishes from the blogosphere tomorrow….and who doesn’t…...

    • Zombie John says:

      01:40pm | 21/05/11

      Will it be th rage virus, the t virus or an unknown virus but all in all bring on the Zombie attack.

    • The Liberal Loafer says:

      01:40pm | 21/05/11

      If the world ends shortly, does that mean Tim B and Nicole G will never be our Prime Ministers?

    • Bolz says:

      01:41pm | 21/05/11

      Errmmm…must be the calm before the storm!

    • Sally says:

      01:53pm | 21/05/11

      The rapture ready website you have linked advertises a conference coming up in July.  If the believers are going to be raptured tomorrow, who is going to attend the conference?

    • Rossco says:

      01:58pm | 21/05/11

      I deny the holy spirit. Ok bring on Lucifer.

    • Waynevan says:

      02:01pm | 21/05/11

      The cynicism here is totally understandable but let me make it clear despite what some reports are saying, Jesus return at 6pm today is NOT what millions of Christians around the world believe., only those taken by someone who is no doubt deluded. Perhaps his Bible didn’t contain the most important thing to know about the second coming. “No one, not even the Son (Jesus) knows the day or the hour.” Anyone who claims to (and this guy is far from the first) has a very distorted view of scripture.

    • P. Darvio says:

      02:51pm | 21/05/11

      Quote: “Jesus return at 6pm today is NOT what millions of Christians around the world believe” - not more pretend Christians who think they know what’s in their Bible….oh dear…

      One of the first signs that the Fictitious Jesus Person (FJP) might have returned is when there are reports of mysterious mass pig killings on Pig farms because FJP has done that before , and parents are hiding their children because some beared man in ropes walking the countryside has said to kill their children, in accordance with BIBLE LAW if they swear, and there are damaged fig trees because some bearded man in ropes has been cursing out of season fig trees and got angry and damaged them. Don’t Christians believe in anything in their Bible?

    • Pete says:

      05:04pm | 21/05/11

      All you religious people are deluded, just to varying degrees.

    • St Paul. says:

      03:15pm | 22/05/11

      As a pimp for Jesus you can take my word he won’t be around today ‘cos I’ve got him gig on another planet.  Just leave your shoes and junk out for a kerb-side clean up and I’ll toss it in the van. No later than the 22nd tho.

    • P. Darvio says:

      02:38pm | 21/05/11

      ...sorry this makes it 23. I need to learn how to count…..or read…or both…

    • dazza (don't know what that means) says:

      02:07pm | 21/05/11

      Thank God for that, I don’t have to pay that rental mob for screwing me on that B&W tv set. Ha ha ha ha. Got the last laugh eh!

    • skepdad says:

      02:25pm | 21/05/11

      Dear those who believe they will be raptured: as a stinking atheist I’ll be staying behind, so please post me your ipad and a large sum of cash.  You won’t be needing them, and it will be a last act of Jesus-like generosity to guarantee your place in Heaven.

      Thanks, and hurry!

    • Likes Joining Dots says:

      05:29pm | 21/05/11

      skepdad

      I find it interesting that iPads will be ‘left behind’ during The Rapture. I’m sure there is a good reason for this.

    • The Badger says:

      02:40pm | 21/05/11

      The Great Disappointment was a major event in the history of the Millerite movement, a 19th century American Christian sect that formed out of the Second Great Awakening. William Miller, a Baptist preacher, proposed based on his interpretations of the prophecies in the book of Daniel (Chapters 8 and 9, especially Dan. 8:14 “Unto two thousand and three hundred days; then shall the sanctuary be cleansed”), that Jesus Christ would return to the earth during the year 1844. A more specific date, that of October 22, 1844, was preached by Samuel S. Snow. Thousands of followers, some of whom had given away all of their possessions, waited expectantly. When Jesus did not appear, October 22, 1844 became known as the Great Disappointment.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSLuju8Tfjk

    • sir ronald bradnam says:

      02:54pm | 21/05/11

      Its a pity these is no such thing as a rapture I almost wish all the sky fairy believers were taken away there general IQ of the population as a whole would definitelt increase and i would be able to have pells mansion on melbourne as he and the other god borrowers wouldnt be needing them anymore.

    • jf says:

      03:38pm | 21/05/11

      I’m not religious, however the irony of that the person who wrote this would comment on someone else’s IQ is rich.

    • ZSRenn says:

      03:57pm | 21/05/11

      The rest of the replies today are funny and this wack job kiwi has to chime in and show fundamentalism is on both sides of the coin.

    • sir ronald bradnam says:

      04:33pm | 21/05/11

      hahahahahahaha my own personal stalker ZSRenn, there is only a couple of crackpots here guys and it certainly isnt me.
      Renny, To actually do a search and go through 100s of comments and piece them together to try to ascertain my identity shows a scary level of fanaticism and sickness you wackjob / zealot and then to try and pretend your smart by dropping little hints, seriously you need to chill out and stop taking stuff personally.
      I will pay more attention to correct spelling, grammer and punctuation in future so as not to affend you jf.

    • jf says:

      04:56pm | 21/05/11

      “I will pay more attention to correct spelling, grammer and punctuation in future so as not to affend you”

      What gave you the impression I was offended old cock?

    • sir ronald bradnam says:

      08:38pm | 21/05/11

      old cock….thats a keeper mate you’re hilarious.

      I hear jesus christ, son of sky fairy and creator of the cosmos, has bought a farm in queensland, should have done it a few months back and built an ark when qld was flooded.

      Im sitting here waiting to be raptured to the clouds, had a little chat with the sky fairy last night and my ticket was booked so Ill be gone soon. I booked first class to none of this cattle class for me.

    • jf says:

      08:36am | 22/05/11

      sir ronald bradnam says:

      That someone so adept at irony shouldn’t recognise it even when it is intentional and less than subtle is, well, ironic.

    • jf says:

      03:00pm | 21/05/11

      A “decrepit old nutjob” predicting the end of the world!!

      I wish he’d shut up about it or the ALP will put a tax on it.

    • Aussie Battler says:

      03:05pm | 21/05/11

      I’m so worried about this, I can’t just disbelieve it, I’ve been an atheist all my life and now I’ve gotta be christian just in case a massive earthquake destroys Sydney.

    • P. Darvio says:

      03:44pm | 21/05/11

      NOOOOOOoooooooooo…..don’t do it….don’t go to the dark side of the force…...

      Big Earthquakes in Sydney - m’mmm…not so far fetched. Might be “Rupture Day” rather than “Rapture Day”

      http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/03/27/2528212.htm

    • Adam says:

      03:05pm | 21/05/11

      The missus has taken over the tv and is watching sex and the city. I hope the rapture gets here soon…

    • CapnFancyPants says:

      03:31pm | 21/05/11

      *Breaking News* It’s definitely happening… I just took this photo.  I had to hang on tightly to a stobie pole, but I managed to take the pic.

      http://i.imgur.com/R30xU.jpg

    • nossy says:

      04:25pm | 21/05/11

      @CapnFancyPants - irrerufutable proof indeed CapnFancyPants - I would try and sell that pic to “News Of the World” while time still permits !

    • Seano says:

      03:44pm | 21/05/11

      It must be a really slow news cycle since Bin Laden was killed because this clown has incorrectly predicted the apocalypse before….

      Not sure why he’s getting so much attention this time around…well except that it is amusing.

    • The Liberal Loafer says:

      04:25pm | 21/05/11

      Why does The Liberal National Party hire hundreds of pathetic Liberal Party trolls to flood this Punch Forum and many other similar forums in order to hire new voters for the Liberal Party or preach to other Liberal Party trolls?
      The end of that world should have been over ages ago.

    • TCB 24 X 7 says:

      06:05pm | 21/05/11

      I suppose loafer,

      Its because the country is being run for the Moment, by a red head fairy princess and a goose. 
        All under the guidence of their Uncle Bob.

    • Smoker says:

      05:00pm | 21/05/11

      The end is nigh and may the good Lord keep me from harm. As if these so-called prophesies come to pass I will still be having a few scotches and beers.

    • Snoogens says:

      05:00pm | 21/05/11

      Actually what was written in the Bible in regards to Revelation and Matthew 34 are past events. It was about the coming judgement on Israel which happened in 70AD. Apocolyptic writing uses imagry and poems and is not literal in a sense. It spoke about the end of the ‘age’, not the end of the world, which was the end of the sacraficial system. Jesus words did end up being true, just now everyone thinks Jesus was speaking to a future generation. He quite simply stated that these things must happen soon, the time is nigh. To a 1st Century Jew, that meant in their lifetime just as Jesus said, “this generation shall not pass until all these things take place.” 40 years later, exactly what he said would happen did happen.

      As a Christian I believe we are living in the greatest times, not the end times.

    • Wookie of WA says:

      05:15pm | 21/05/11

      Can the last human to leave please turn off the lights!

    • Amber says:

      08:45pm | 21/05/11

      will do!

    • Rational Thinker says:

      05:16pm | 21/05/11

      It’s just another Christian fraud and the gullible line up in droves to leave all their money to Camping. He guarantees them a place in heaven with JC.

      Camping is said to be worth around $140 million, and this will be increased substantially come Sunday. Don’t think the banks are open in the US on Sunday. No matter Camping will wait until Monday.

    • Davo says:

      05:30pm | 21/05/11

      Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. Matthew 7.15

    • sadas says:

      05:30pm | 21/05/11

      Nice sunny day here in melbourne, pretty much the anti-apocalypse lol

    • Bob says:

      05:30pm | 21/05/11

      there’s a really good game of footy on tonight.

      if this rapture thing interferes I’ll be really pissed…

    • Nicole says:

      05:35pm | 21/05/11

      So long, and thanks for all the fish…

    • Seano says:

      06:51pm | 21/05/11

      Bloody dolphins always piss off when the world is about to end!

    • Ian says:

      05:35pm | 21/05/11

      Religion? What is it good for? Absolutely NOTHING! Just like war. But you can make money out of war…Hmmm, so you can from religion too. Join the dots. If you are insecure, religion is wonderful. If you are infantile and need a ‘Big Daddy’ figure in your life, handing out punshment or looking out for you, then religion is your answer….To seem contradictory; For God’s sake, grow up & stop being afraid of the dark! - Being afraid of the unknown is the basis of all religions. Grow up, mature a bit; You may find that it becomes easier to get along together.

    • John says:

      09:06pm | 21/05/11

      So Ian me been a person who follows my religion makes me a wierdo right, even though my religion has fought to protect others. Let look at history ok. When Moguls were giving hindu the option of death or converty to Islam a holy man was asked to go and to talk to the ruler to ask him to stop. This man went and spoke for the Hindu even though himself not been a hindu. He was beheaded. His son the took up arms to protect ow wait, the hindus and sunni muslims who were been forced to convert or be killed. i didnt see or hear any athiest goin to defend these ppl.

      Moving fwd, in the USA right now this group provides food for the homeless and those effected by floods and even in Japan they provide food. What are your Athiest mates doing I guess not much, just chilling and only looking after number one. Get a life mate your Athiest have not even been able come up with a negative comment in regards to the Sikh religions holy book.

      Here a link. Read it if you dare

      http://www.sikhiwiki.org/index.php?title=Langar

    • nisa says:

      09:57pm | 21/05/11

      Hear hear Ian.  I’ve often wondered what happened in a religious person’s life to make them so afraid.  They obviously feel the need to have an imaginary friend watching over them.  Most of us would call that being a wuss!!

    • Anne Stocks says:

      02:21pm | 22/05/11

      Sorry Ian to disillusion you but you seem to have no understanding of what it means to be a Born again Christian,  we do not live in fear but have inner Joy and Hope. No we are not always Happy Clappy but regardless of what trouble we have we go through in our lives we know it will all work out for good ...do you have this assurance and do you know what awaits you if you were to die tonight or next week and if so can you be sure or is it just what you or someone else thinks ?

      1 John 4 :17- 9 Herein is our Love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in Love; but perfect Love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in Love. We Love him, because he first Loved us.

      I will pray for you Ian that you will Mature in knowing God’s Truth and not remain Childish believing the lies of this who live in darkness in this world.

    • Anne Stocks says:

      06:32pm | 22/05/11

      Hi Ian, I was thinking about you and felt that I would like to clarify something with you…  as a Christian I don’t believe that all Atheists have no desire to help others some show great kindness ... what is their final destiny only God knows, they may become believers before they die…

      My own Mum who is an agro Atheist the same as I was before I found out the Truth,  gave generously from her pension to help those in the resent Disasters as did many other Non believers as well as Christians, and those involved with crisis relief, like Red cross etc and of course people in other Religions.  God’s Spirit motivates people to give,  but there is a warning what we do for others must not be to promote ourselves but to show God’s Love and compassion, or we will not be rewarded…

      Matthew 6: 1- 4 “Take heed that you do not do your charitable deeds before men, to be seen by them. Otherwise you have no reward from your Father in Heaven. Therefore, when you do a charitable deed, do not sound a trumpet before you as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory from men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward.  But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,  that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly…

      Also many brave Men and woman sacrificed their lives in the wars and not all were believers,  but let’s hope they repented before they died…

      My point is Ian is as Christians we must not look down on anyone, who are we to do so,  we are saved by God’s grace,  yes we are to stand up for His Truth but we do not slander others.  I believe that all God’s Children are people of worth and even my enemy may be one…

      May God continue to bless you Ian,  He Loves you and understands your confusion. Seek Him and you will find Him.

    • Sheedy's Left Foot says:

      05:36pm | 21/05/11

      The world will not end today.

      The world win end 10 seconds before the end of an AFL Grand final with the Western Bulldogs about to win the flag.

      God has a sense of humour.

    • Trusty Saviour says:

      05:36pm | 21/05/11

      New Zealand has been confirmed to have not, for the past 30 minutes, been dealt any earthquakes of great proportions. It is now 6:35 pm for them. Panic no more.

    • Tahlia says:

      05:37pm | 21/05/11

      honestly do not believe it I believe the world is going to end one day but not today or tomorrow and it will most likely end in a few million years when the sun explodes not by a bunch of fricken zombies and 2012 is stupid its not about the end of life its about a new beginning eg. writing a new calender? but Im just a kid and thats just my opinion

    • Andrew says:

      02:03pm | 22/05/11

      You’re a smart kid, Tahlia.  Keep it up!  Oh, and we have around 5 billion or so years until our sun turns into a red giant and probably destroys the world.  Interestingly, that still won’t be the end of the solar system, it’s predicted that a new sun can reform from the debris and the whole cycle start again.  The fact that there are so many heavy elements in the planets indicates that this has in fact happened already at least once..

    • LINDA says:

      06:02pm | 21/05/11

      OMG..i was sitting on the front porch and Im thinking, well its nearly 6pm and the earth quakes should be starting about now…then i noticed the house started shaking…i kid you not…and i heard this distant rumbling…im thinking WTF WTF ..then i realise that our big old washing amchine just hit the spin cycle with an uneven load in it PMSL

    • Caroline says:

      06:21pm | 21/05/11

      hahahaha…Linda that is so funny…I hope you poured yourself a drink to settle the nerves…
      It’s 6.21pm in Brisbane..nothing happening here…

    • LINDA says:

      06:33pm | 21/05/11

      Im a bit miffed actually, I spent over 4 hours washing and brushing and clipping my poodles…..when I realised that they will just get dirty in the earth quakes after the rapture :S

    • A different Rosie says:

      11:38am | 22/05/11

      I have an idea of how you felt.  I had an ‘‘oh . . .  I think I’m in deep shit’ moment when there was a loud crash of thunder and bright sheet lightning just before six last night.

    • Amy says:

      06:05pm | 21/05/11

      6.05pm here in Canberra, nothing happened, still here, oh well!

    • Anubis says:

      11:46am | 23/05/11

      That pretty much sums up Canberra ther Amy. You could change the time and date to anything and the comment would be the same:

      (insert time) am/pm (insert date) here in Canberra, Nothing happened.

    • LINDA says:

      06:09pm | 21/05/11

      HAHAHAHAHA ...6.06pm and Im still here :( I must be a naughty naughty girl

    • Eskimo says:

      06:11pm | 21/05/11

      My eight year old with Asperegers Syndrome read about the end of the world on the internet this morning and has been upset all day. It’s irresponsible to give the nutjobs like Camping so much air time.

    • Scranbag says:

      06:11pm | 21/05/11

      I meant to post at 6:00. Really.

      But I nodded off.

      Tends to happen, after a dozen or so of these hoo-hahs.

    • Tex says:

      06:16pm | 21/05/11

      FAIL!!!!!!!!!

    • TCB 24 X 7 says:

      06:18pm | 21/05/11

      The world ended for gillard, when alp members did not return after Lunch to hear her speak.
      Organisers had to end it.
      Gee labor has really lost its soul.

    • HT says:

      08:37pm | 21/05/11

      Do you work for the LNP? It seems no matter what the article is about someone has to say something about ALP and politics. Take a break, yeesh.

    • jf says:

      01:36pm | 22/05/11

      HT says: 08:37pm | 21/05/11

      Do you work for the APP? It seems no matter what the article is about someone has to respond to someone’s article in defence of the ALP and its politics. Take a break, yeesh.

    • Drewboy says:

      06:22pm | 21/05/11

      Have I missed it?

    • Bob says:

      06:23pm | 21/05/11

      6:22 pm here in Victoria.  Why are we waiting, why are waiting, oh, oh are wait..ing?

    • Ben says:

      06:31pm | 21/05/11

      The Bible forbids it this guy needs to repent if he believes….

    • Chris says:

      06:31pm | 21/05/11

      6 pm in the NT. Still here, so I guess I missed out.

    • Nick says:

      06:32pm | 21/05/11

      ahhhhh!

    • LINDA says:

      06:42pm | 21/05/11

      I’d rather not have a drink right now, I can’t walk a straight line after ONE drink ...so if the earth quakes do come and Im blind on one rum and coke, I’ll be having a shite of a time trying to stay upright

    • Joel B1 says:

      06:43pm | 21/05/11

      6:42 in Hobart,

      Still have the innocent lamb-like children, damn, and we hoping for a cosy night for two in front of the fire.

      Oh well.

    • George says:

      06:51pm | 21/05/11

      This is sooooo stuuuupiiid!
      My kids and I went out in the front yard to look at the stars at 5:40 and see if we can spot the International Space Station as it became visible for 7 minutes. My 3 kids and I scanned the sky in the twilight, my 7 year old holding the iphone to map the coordinates and I’m desperately trying to calibrate my SLR camera for a good shot. Meanwhile my neighbours are coming in and out of their houses looking at me and my kids. The kids looking excited and I’m looking a little bit stressed. My next door neighbour just asked me 5 mins ago if I thought the world was going to end? He told me that it was supposed to happen at 6PM. He thought (and the other guy 3 houses down) that I was preparing my kids for the rapture….. I knew that some guy said it was going to happen today but I didn’t know the time.. My neighbour smiled at me and said SURE MATE!!!!! .....I didn’t get a photo of the ISS either… I think i saw it… or maybe it was just a plane.. i dont actually know… and if the rapture does happen, I get left behind because I don’t actually believe in it…. I lose :(

    • Ange says:

      06:58pm | 21/05/11

      Uncanny, 5.50pm The longest, loudest thunder I have heard here for ages. LOL Wow, is that Jesus making his grand entrance?
      Went to the shops and there was car accident down the road. Maybe the driver disappeared!!! LOL
      Coincident? Who knows if these things happened any other night, wouldn’t even think twice about them.
      Oh and I am still here, so bring on Hell. LOL
      What a load of crock!

    • Ann says:

      09:03pm | 21/05/11

      I had just finished jokingly asking my husband if he wanted to change into something nicer to meet his maker, to which he replied “Bring it on Huey”.  About a minute later possibly that same clap of thunder hit just above our house, followed shortly after by another one.  I moved as far away from him as I could until after 6.00 pm….

    • Ange says:

      10:48pm | 22/05/11

      I am in Adelaide, Ann. Southern Suburbs to be exact. I have heard of friends, sitting outside last night at the same time. Then the whole sky lit up. They have two teenage children and they s*** themselves. Poor kids. All just a big co-incidence.

    • jag says:

      07:20pm | 21/05/11

      A mate of mine reckons that the earth will be eaten by a giant mutant space goat on 1 jan 2013.

    • Andrew says:

      02:14pm | 22/05/11

      It’s actually a yak - easy mistake to make if you don’t read the scriptures correctly, I know..

    • Paul says:

      08:32am | 22/05/11

      yeah, but that t-shirt is ugly.

    • What the? says:

      07:33pm | 21/05/11

      I’m a Christian but wonder why this preacher fella is given so much attention. 99% of Christians think he’s a nutjob and he has no basis for his fear campaign whatsoever.

    • the coffee scientist says:

      07:38pm | 21/05/11

      The time has come and gone, and now I still owe that $11.60 for overdue library books, no getting out of it, and now I have to plan Sunday lunch too. False prophets really suck….

    • Crack Sandwich says:

      08:10pm | 21/05/11

      Well.. It’s 8:09pm… Still at work and feel kind of constipated. Aside from that, nope, still alive.

    • Overlord zetta says:

      08:25pm | 21/05/11

      as a gamer I firmly beleive that ill be given the chance of becoming the bad ass freaking overlord of the netherworld when I die on this earth lol

    • Noslen says:

      08:42pm | 21/05/11

      Best live blog ever hahah I laughed so much!
      This Camping bloke is pathetic… why doesn’t get give those millions to charity? Like maybe there’s PEOPLE DYING in the world and he spent so much money doing theories and promoting the end, shocking really, absolutely pathetic… it sickens me almost.

    • Jason Todd says:

      09:24pm | 21/05/11

      This is the worst rapture/apocalypse/end of the world that I have lived through since the LAST rapture/apocalypse/end of the world that I lived through.

    • Karen says:

      09:58pm | 21/05/11

      Feel a bit sorry for any Camping followers near me in Brisbane, as our local fair had a large fireworks display starting at 6pm…. Could have been quite a shock:)

    • fairsfair says:

      10:08pm | 21/05/11

      Isn’t got American, don’t we have to wait until “their time” ?

    • Paul says:

      08:31am | 22/05/11

      No. The prediction was that at 6pm in all countries it would happen - starting first in New Zealand.

    • Reggie says:

      03:22pm | 22/05/11

      Yeah it’s like a Progressive Dinner, rolling termination it’s 10.21pm yesterday in Seattle and the shit will hit the fan in an hour and a half. Right now Sex in the City is crap.

    • Sharyn says:

      10:53pm | 21/05/11

      The world is full of gullible people….this is just another scheister who has made millions through ripping off desperates…

    • stupid says:

      10:57pm | 21/05/11

      damn im still here and i gave all of my world of warcraft gold away earlier :(

    • Matt says:

      11:33pm | 21/05/11

      oh god, its raining in brisbane now!, wait….its done that all this year never mind!

    • sir ronald bradnam(god) says:

      06:46am | 22/05/11

      God Here…I decided not to rapture the world today but i will continue to send veiled threats to the odd geriatric nutjob every couple of years just for fun to see the reaction.
      One day though unless you all start behaving and going to church and getting on your knees to me, Im gonna do it just you watch.
      So over and out till the next prediction of the apocolypse.

    • Uncle Al says:

      07:32am | 22/05/11

      I had my own second coming just last Tuesday!

    • Evan says:

      08:46am | 22/05/11

      I’m a born again Christian and i’m extremely disappointed to see these people waste their effects on predicting the end. The rapture is mentioned in Matthew 24:31-41 but take note of verse 36 “But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven,  but My Father only.

      Preach the gospel before the end. That’s the goal you should be aiming for.

    • Anne Stocks says:

      01:19pm | 22/05/11

      Yes Evan you are right when Jesus Christ was on earth He did not know the date the world would end nor did anyone else but Jesus has been resurrected and His Father has given Him all Authority in Heaven and earth and He now knows when He will return,  The Father, The Son Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit are one in the Godhead or as some call Them today The Trinity and they know all things. The Scriptures tell us…
      1 Corinthians 2 : 9-16 But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God. For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him? even so the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God. Which things also we speak, not in the words which man’s wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual. But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned. But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man. For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him? but we have the mind of Christ.

      If we do not understand God’s Truth we are to ask Him for His wisdom and believe we have received it . James 1:5-8

    • Peter says:

      09:05am | 22/05/11

      The signs of the apocalypse have been adding up for a while now. Julia Gillard stabbing Kevin Rudd in the back, the “Independents” siding with Labor, the AGW alarmists predicting catastrophic events and many more. So what’s wrong with one more nut job misinterpreting these and other signs?
      The gullible people who believe this bullshit are similar to the ones who blindly believe in Global Warming and in a Carbon Tax.

    • kevin says:

      09:41am | 22/05/11

      any idiot claim’s they are a priest and create’s a mass panic and hysteria in the world public should be charged and taken out back to be lined up against a brick wall and shot for public terrorism because even the world’s most accurate calendar the MAYAN CALENDER doesn’t end untill december 2012 and the true millennium year also is 2012 and not 2000 like every one that was part of the Y2K bug threat that made million’s out of all the idiot’s that believed them they also should have been jailed or shot and all the media should have been treated in a way they would be game to publish such crap just like the crap they published about the performance car’s of the 1970’s I just wish they would use that pea they call a brain and think about it before they say stuff it the world will get over it like every other public scare which they tried to create GET OVER IT

    • john says:

      11:28am | 22/05/11

      @kevin “world’s most accurate calendar the MAYAN CALENDER”
      ....oh you mean the same one where, each night the mayans based the calender in the belief it was ruled by one of the nine lords of the underworld, using glyphs & lunar cycles were ruled by one of the six Lunar Deities?

      Don’t you think a quantum-logic clock is more accurate?

    • sir ronald bradnam says:

      10:05am | 22/05/11

      The sooner people realise there is no rapture, no god or allah, no afterlife, no hell, no heaven, no sky fairy, no angels, no apocolypse, no end of world(yet), no end of world according to mayan calender next year, that it is all a fairy tale created many years ago to keep people scared of the dark(artistic license from stephen hawking) then this world will become a much better place.

    • Dark Horse says:

      11:23am | 22/05/11

      And they wonder why some atheists take the piss out of those who follow outlandish, medieval nonsense. But not me, I’m happy for anyone to believe what they like, as long as it doesn’t include me ascending or being burnt for eternity.

    • Anne Stocks says:

      12:15pm | 22/05/11

      So Ronald has created a Dog or a cat or perhaps a horse for a Pet or maybe something easier like a tree or a flower…the Evolution theory has now been proven to be in error because something cannot come from nothing or can order come from disorder like the Big bang Theory promotes,  also it shows that those who believe in Evolution are not aware of the incredible order in Creation,  so perhaps they need to check it out before they add to the confusion that is propagated by those who are ignorant or as God calls them fools.

    • sir ronald bradnam says:

      02:39pm | 22/05/11

      anne stocks….Ive heard the same shit trundled out by believers for years ‘evolution theory has now been proven to be in error’ evolution is more believable than a great sky wizard moulding the universe and planets with his hands like putty. putty in seven days.
      If you believe that you will believe anything that your commandants tell you on a sunday morning.

    • austin 3:16 says:

      02:39pm | 22/05/11

      Right on Anne, everybody knows the best people to tell you about scientific theories ain’t the Nobel prize winners like Szostak or the Professors like Dawkins it’s the religious whackos on the internet that really know the truth.

    • steph says:

      10:06am | 22/05/11

      In our neck of the woods today we have had a city-wide power out (250,000 people) and a 4.9 earthquake (just a baby, really).

    • Aman says:

      10:54am | 22/05/11

      All rubbish !! This man should have been forced to sell off his house, car, clothes to prove he is right. But na, people follow idiots like him.

    • Gayle says:

      11:07am | 22/05/11

      What is the false prophet going to do with his millios now?  If he is a true Christian, he will donate it all to the poor and starving in this world.  Shame.

    • dancan says:

      11:20am | 22/05/11

      I was raptured.  But decided to come back

    • Anne Stocks says:

      11:53am | 22/05/11

      This man Harold Camping does not have the wisdom of God because there is Prophecy in Revelation that has not been fulfilled and until it is the world cannot end, one of these Prophesies is ...
      Revelation 13 : 15-18 And he had power to give life unto the image of the beast, that the image of the beast should both speak, and cause that as many as would not worship the image of the beast should be killed. And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads: And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.

    • Andrew says:

      02:22pm | 22/05/11

      Ooh, ooh, I’ve got another verse from the holy book!!  Here it is!

      “1 Timothy, 2:11-12
      Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.  But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.”

      So umm, shut up and do what I tell you?  It’s what the Bible tells you to do!!  Or, alternatively, just admit that the bible is a complete pile of steaming excrement.  Your choice!

    • Kath Grant says:

      12:05pm | 22/05/11

      Good Omens, a novel by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman has some lovely ideas about The Rapture!

    • darrel says:

      12:06pm | 22/05/11

      oh my the end of the world is today who came up with this crap believe what you you want those people who claim they know the date are ignorant and have no life.

    • AndrewO says:

      12:09pm | 22/05/11

      You all have been had, mainly the Athiest! The Globalist’s have used a old fool mr campling one of their constructs with the help of the globalist owned media to help worldwide discredit Christianity further, and project the feeling that there is no truth in the bible and hope in this world, except our one world communist government and currency that we are creating for the NWO, is the only thing you can believe in and have hope for.

    • Anne Stocks says:

      12:57pm | 22/05/11

      Sad what you say but you are right Andrew,  yet God’s Truth will always win through it is never ending. God will not be mocked and all those who promote Satan’s lies will be shown to be in error , we who believe do not have to fear,  we know God will work all things out for good for us and our Destiny is more wonderful then we can even imagine- God bless you greatly Andrew..

    • Max says:

      02:35pm | 22/05/11

      Bob Dylan sang about judgement day. He rightly called it “a slow train coming”. Its coming, we just don’t know when it will get here. But the signs of it are all around us. Earthquakes, wars, floods, drought. I agree with the words of a song by Larry Norman “I wished we’d all been ready.” The Apostle Paul said that creation waits for this day when the true sons and daughters of God will be revealed.

    • MephistoJones says:

      03:07pm | 22/05/11

      I think its Doomsday for Crackpot religions, that being ALL religions which are just superstition, yes superstition.  All right wing fundamentalists are the same just different name its just an excuse to exclude people you don’t agree with.  If more people spent less time believing in things and more on studying the world as it is, it might be a better place. Believe it or not.

    • Anne Stocks says:

      04:04pm | 22/05/11

      Yes I believe you are right Mephisto Jones many Religions have Superstition as a base but not Christianity it has power and wisdom and this is very evident as you read the Prophesies that have been fulfilled in the Scriptures, things that only God could have known when man recorded what He asked them to many centuries before.

      Space , Medicine, Man’s Eternal Destiny, Animal behaviour, the Worlds formation and destruction etc all are addressed and many of the Prophesies have already come True word for word and the rest will also…But of course you have studied God’s Truth in detail haven’t you Mephiaso Jones and so your refuting God’s Truth comes from having proved it wrong or is it just your own or someone elses understanding.

      Yes I agree if man understood the world from God’s viewpoint he would Love even his enemies,  those that hurt him and devalue his worth, those that mock his beliefs and slander him, those that cheat and abuse him ... Do you Love Mephisto ?

    • AndrewO says:

      08:30am | 23/05/11

      Yeah! your right that is what Communism is all about and jeez did that one turn out bad!

    • Anne Stocks says:

      03:33pm | 22/05/11

      Most of those who were deceived by Harold Camping including himself must be very confused and hurting now,  some have lost all their worldly possessions and even their loved pets,  not to mention their friends respect who considered them foolish to believe Harold’s false predictions but more importantly they have lost hope and I grieve for them as God does. If only they had asked Him for His wisdom they would have known it was deception and that the world was not ending. Let’s not mock them or even Harold but pray they will not fall away but instead seek to know God’s Truth, He longs for them to do so - My prayers are with you all and I would value your heart felt prayers also -  Christian Love Anne

    • neil says:

      10:45pm | 22/05/11

      Anne, you are only one degree of seperation from these nutters. Your invisible friend doesn’t exist, get over it, get a life and take responsibility for it.

      You’re pathetic.

    • The Badger says:

      05:50pm | 22/05/11

      We are now entering the great disappointment phase of the rhapsody

    • Anne Stocks says:

      07:33pm | 22/05/11

      Do you care about the hurt these people are feeling Badger,  are you so sure that what you believe is True and will not be shown to be a lie too and if this happens like them will you be discouraged or don’t you care enough… are you apathatic instead ?. Does it uplift you to put others down or make fun of them and disregard what they say and consider it as something not worthwhile.? if so perhaps you haven’t heard…

      Treat others as you would want them to treat you…

      Making fun of others or their misfortune does not require much skill or character and shows little understanding or tolerance for the weaknesses of others and the hardships they suffer,  but perhaps those who do this are comfortable being this way and think that they will never make a mistake or have misfortune ... sad if this is what they believe is True.

    • persephone says:

      07:48pm | 22/05/11

      OK.

      The Rapture has passed, and I wasn’t taken (bit of a shock, that).

      This means I am officially a Bad Person and Damned to Hell for All Eternity.

      Which means, whatever sins I commit from now on, things can’t get any worse for me…

      Yay!! Party!!!!

    • sir ronald bradnam says:

      08:47pm | 22/05/11

      just watched the pack of religious nutters from the Westboro Baptist Church damning everybody but themselves on 60 minutes. They’re a charming little group of zealots spreading the word of god arent they.

    • Anne Stocks says:

      05:33am | 23/05/11

      As you no doubt know Sir Ronald Bradman you can call yourself by any name but that does not mean it is for real,  I can call myself Queen Anne but that does not make me a Queen and sadly so many claim to be Christians but do not reflect Jesus Christ - the name Christian to many means Christ in you. Jesus in nature is like God The Heavenly Father and the Bible tells us God is Love not hate but sadly many claim even some Church goers that He is a cruel and revengeful God but they don’t know Him or His compassionate heart,  yes He is Holy and hates evil and only tolerates it so none of His Children will perish,  but it is not His will that anyone suffers for doing right even though they will.

      Some people make a strong stand against Homosexuality and others even promote it… I agree passionately with the need to be Loving and tolerant of others but I also can not water down God’s warning that people who practice Homosexuality are in grave error and danger. I believe in light of the Scriptures that God is not accepting of this type of behaviour the same as with all sin, but I do not in any way agree that He does not have compassion and Love for those who do wrong, God’s Truth is very clear about this but He longs for us to repent and turn from evil and do good.

      In warning us that we will be punished for the wrong we do, God is in fact seeking to protect us in the same way the Law in our Country is, for example what would happen if we all chose our own agenda when it came to the traffic lights such as ... you and I decided from now on red was go and green meant stop, we would be placing not only ourselves but others in danger and this would still be so even if we found some others who would agree with us . God’s Laws are not to deprive us or cause us pain and they are not based on intolerance as most people understand it. Yes God is indeed intolerant of wrong doing, the same as the Law of the Land is, but it is for our good not bad…

      I hope Sir Ronald Bradman that you will one day come to understand the great Love God has for you and everyone else and that you will be healed of the hurt you have experienced in your life… Hurt People Hurt People especially themselves.

    • AndrewO says:

      08:41am | 23/05/11

      We Christians all love you sir ronald bradnam no matter how much you condemn christianity and christians, this is the earthly wealth we have for you and we give interest and not charge it!

    • Ripa says:

      03:18am | 23/05/11

      Hey Heaven has internet access, but they blocked all the bloddy porn!

    • Anne Stocks says:

      09:47am | 23/05/11

      Hello Andrew,  it’s good to hear you read the Scriptures and I agree with the Scriptures you shared but it’s not just women but men too who must learn in quietness and submission and respect,  Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour tells us He is our only Teacher and He is to be listened to not mocked or disregarded or His guidelines scoffed at.

      You are right also Andrew when you point out God’s role for Woman ... Men were created to be in Leadership and Woman to be their Helpmates Physically, Mentally, Emotionally and spiritually,  this is a high calling for Woman and one they cannot achieve without God’s empowering them through the Holy Spirit the same as Men in their Leadership role and when both Men and Woman accept their roles as from the Lord they will find fulfilment and be content.

      The Scriptures tell us a woman must not be a Ordained which is being a Preacher by profession,  for her to do so would mean she would be in Authority over men so what she taught could be in error and God wants to protect women from having to be accountable for teaching error.

      As you seem to know the Scriptures Andrew you will agree with me that God asks us both Male and Female to share His Truth even if it means we are abused, Scoffed at or put down and sometimes we will be Martyred, sadly those who do this are also doing it to God and as you no doubt know the Scriptures tell us…

      Proverbs 19:28-29 A disreputable witness scorns justice,  And the mouth of the wicked devours iniquity.  Judgments are prepared for scoffers, And beatings for the backs of fools.

      Well Andrew thank you for sharing the Scriptures with us,  may you continue to search them and find what you lack in wisdom and knowledge as we must all do - Kind regards Anne

    • Jimmy Hongduhh says:

      11:02am | 23/05/11

      far out, i prepared my boat and everythingduh
      just to find out theres no flood or earthquake or no raptures…

      someone tell me why this world is so corrupt….

      lets just all shuffle and muzz til the world ends…which is obviously gone be the 6th of September 2069

    • Anne Stocks says:

      09:49am | 24/05/11

      Hi Jimmy in answer to your question .....“someone tell me why this world is so corrupt “… I will try to condense as I share my response but if you want to know more please post again or ask someone who is a Christian and knows the Bible.

      In the beginning God created the world and the Heavens and everything in them and this has been proven to be True even if many deny it and accept The Big Bang Evolution Theory which has no basis in reality apart from a few details that gel with Creation but the fundamental beliefs of Evolution have many times been proven to be wrong even by Scientists who at one time denied Creation,  but as the evidence for it was so overwhelming they have now accepted it and The Creator as Truth.

      As for Creation everything God made was good including Man and Woman and they like Satan were created with free will. Satan wanted power and glory, he wasn’t willing to submit to God’s Lordship and Authority and so he rebelled as did some of the Angels who also had free will. God doesn’t want puppets He wants us to freely choose to Love and obey Him, why because He knows what we need to be complete and we need Him as a Man needs a Woman and a Woman needs a Man and a Child needs a Father and Mother. If you have Children Jimmy or a wife or girlfriend would you want them to Love you because they had no choice, would you really feel Loved?

      God also created Mankind in such a way that if they did evil they would die spiritually and eventually their contaminated flesh or body would die also but if they did good they would live in Joy and fulfilment and in fellowship with Him eternally and because animals and the earth are part of God’s creation and have the a simular blueprint they are also subject to good and evil but of course not as Man is being a higher creation.

      Adam and Eve disobeyed God and so they were contaminated by evil and their corrupted seed was then passed down through the Generations, we call it D.N.A today so every person is born with the evil flesh nature the only exception is Jesus Christ who was conceived by the Holy Spirit and so has God’s Nature. When Children know right from wrong they are accountable for the wrong they do, and sadly without the freedom Jesus Christ gives us from the bondage of sin,  man continues to commit evil and evil is the absence of Love so it seeks to destroy instead of building up and causes suffering and pain and eventually spiritual death leading to an Eternity in Hell

      What you see around you Jimmy is the symptom of evil and the decay it leaves. 

      Take Care Jimmy - Kind regards Anne

    • Jean says:

      12:04pm | 23/05/11

      Way to go Anne. You said it perfictly.

    • Anne Stocks says:

      06:22pm | 23/05/11

      Thank you Jean for your kind words and I’m thankful that you are in agreement with God’s Truth and because you are you will be greatly blessed as we all are when we are faithful to follow His guidelines .

      Take Care in Jesus -  Christian Love Anne

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