The national airline

What would happen if everyone followed Kraft’s lead and decided to rebadge great Australian brands with whimsical zeitgeist names? Perhaps something like this. (If you haven’t come across it, “FTW!” means for “For the Win!” and is an expression of approval. Find out more here.)

Penbo wrote about the iSnack 2.0 debacle here today and it has kicked off a most amusing set of comments including one reader who complained the new product was incompatible with Toast 9.0.

Anyway, potentials for Penfold’s Grange, Akubra, and R.M. Williams are over the jump. Suggestions in the comments, please - you can offer new slogans for Aussie brands or email your own poorly-Photoshopped offerings to photos (at) thepunch.com.au.

Seeing red

Yes that's hat with an @

As seen on mega-nerds at the UN

76 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • Jack from Perth says:

      03:09pm | 29/09/09

      bundy rum: iDrunk
      Kings St, Melbourne: iFight
      Ford: iDrive
      The Islamic Republic of iRan (2.0)

    • delperro says:

      03:19pm | 29/09/09

      Very good. There’s not much more that needs to be added here of any humorous benefit, cept to say, kudos to your designer.

    • Sally says:

      03:21pm | 29/09/09

      Jetstar WTF

    • AFR says:

      03:25pm | 29/09/09

      I have a t-shirt that says “iPood”. Does that count?

    • jason says:

      03:40pm | 29/09/09

      Qantas bercomes : ifly7.47

    • Hendo says:

      03:40pm | 29/09/09

      Ugg Re-boots.
      Fixed-wing Aircraft Jelly.
      Goody Goody Gumdrops Boiled LoL-lies.

    • Justin Turner says:

      03:41pm | 29/09/09

      Qantas has already rebadged, it’s called JetStar & it is as rubbish as iSnack 2.0.

    • Sotong says:

      03:50pm | 29/09/09

      Very funny…...

    • sa says:

      03:59pm | 29/09/09

      “FTW!” means for “For the Win!”

      Really? I think not!

    • Hairy Harry the 3rd. says:

      04:14pm | 29/09/09

      And of course the obvious one: i-RAQ v2.0 beta.

    • david says:

      04:14pm | 29/09/09

      McDonald’s new slogan: Can I haz cheezburger?
      Virgin Blue: vBlue1.0
      Coles: iGetRippedOffEveryday

    • acker says:

      04:16pm | 29/09/09

      FIGJAM = K.Rudd, B.Obama, O.Binladen, A.Merkle, P.Charles, P.Phillip, P.William, P.Harry, E.Regina, A.Fevola, R.Polanski, B.Joyce, L.Gaga, K.Sandilands, H.Simpson, C.Pyne, C.Ronaldo, A.Jolie, G.Ramsay, S.Berlusconi, S.Berlusconi, S.Berlusconi, S.Berlusconi, S.Penn, J.Brumby and did I mention S.Berlusconi

    • Mick says:

      04:17pm | 29/09/09

      What Sa said FTW indeed

    • Hairy Harry the 3rd says:

      04:28pm | 29/09/09

      Hollywood of course wrote history with Johnny Weissmullers statement:
      “Me Tarzan, You Jane’
      We’re still hearing it everyday: Me-nuts, You-Tube, Me-nimee.

      Richard Branson’s new banking product: Me-Virgin U-Bank.

    • Leigh says:

      04:32pm | 29/09/09

      Tiger Airways FML

    • Geraint says:

      04:32pm | 29/09/09

      Jack of Perth and Hairy Harry the 3rd., eRan and eRAQ would be more accurate.  Take it from a half eRannian.

      It also looks like sa and Mick both missed the point, and sarcasm, of QANTAS FTW.

    • iBrad says:

      04:45pm | 29/09/09

      Here’s one - how about iDon’tCare… or the people who approved the Vegemite name being ID ten T people (ID10T)...

    • Geraint says:

      04:47pm | 29/09/09

      R3d r00*

    • iHaveNo-i-dear says:

      04:49pm | 29/09/09

      FTW - isn’t For The Win - it is WTF backwards…

    • Miranda says:

      04:49pm | 29/09/09

      Connex LOL

    • Jobes says:

      05:06pm | 29/09/09

      I’m a depressed little isnack 2.0 kid
      I’m sad and confused, indeed
      We all enjoyed our Vegemite
      For breakfast, lunch and tea.
      My mother says we’re going to hell
      quicker every single week!
      Because we loved our Vegemite
      We all adored our Vegemite
      iSnack2.0 puts a frown on every cheeeeeeek!

    • RJ says:

      05:09pm | 29/09/09

      I suppose kangaroos will be renamed to I-hops

    • Matt says:

      05:09pm | 29/09/09

      Ahh, actually FTW is “For the Win”, but thanks for playing.

    • Matt says:

      05:17pm | 29/09/09

      Qantas would be called 408

      “408: Request Timeout”

    • Matt says:

      05:19pm | 29/09/09

      I’d like to see the Hills Hoist go wireless.

    • Chris says:

      05:21pm | 29/09/09

      how about running Barnaby Joyce as iJoh 2.0

    • David says:

      05:21pm | 29/09/09

      We could just call party drugs “e”.

      Oh, wait…

    • Sally says:

      05:25pm | 29/09/09

      Tanks for the belli laugh, i laughed @ the name, i laughed @ the comments but i no bi it. i tink we all haf good laugh; you can put it away now.

    • DS says:

      05:32pm | 29/09/09

      haha, turn them into soylent green… we have no use for them now.
      dear ye olde people, FTW most certainly means ‘for the win’.

    • Cazzy says:

      05:35pm | 29/09/09

      I wake up saying FTW most mornings but after my blood e-mary 2.0 - I just think, WTF?

    • Jash says:

      06:16pm | 29/09/09

      To make Matts’ comment a bit better:

      The hills hoist should be renamed iHoist 2.0; Wireless. And here are a few other thoughts…

      Weet Bix to Weet Bits v2.0

      Well there’s one other thought.

    • Lyn says:

      06:30pm | 29/09/09

      Rename our national carrier for the lowest common demoninator: QUANTAS - The Spirit of Astraya

    • Catbrain says:

      06:42pm | 29/09/09

      There is already a Hyundai i-Load…

    • Mr Smith says:

      07:44pm | 29/09/09

      Aeroplane Jelly Roflcopter

    • GGF says:

      07:59pm | 29/09/09

      FTW = For the Win, if you don’t know that then you are too old

    • brent says:

      08:02pm | 29/09/09

      new zealand = oz:SystemBackup

    • Adsy says:

      08:28pm | 29/09/09

      FTW most absolutely means For The Win.

      RTFM, K?

    • acker says:

      08:49pm | 29/09/09

      I forgot this one

      B@rocc@

      And in case your @rse is sore ....L@xette

    • The Half Worm says:

      08:56pm | 29/09/09

      To make Jash’s comment a Bit beta

      T.weet Bits v2.0

      And also;  ROFL Harris

    • Scrub Nurse says:

      09:29pm | 29/09/09

      ADDSA 6.43pm, I thought Jetstars email address was jetstar@sux.co.ck. Love that the Cook Islands uses a .co instead of a .com !! Lyn 6.30pm, get it right, it’s Straya, no A at the beginning. Or if you want to sound really posh, Strarlya
      As for new names, KFC - iG@g 4.3. McDonald’s - iVomit MKII. Hungry Jack’s - iPuke v3.11. Hospitals - iSick2000. New Zealand - i.Idiot4
      I always thought FTW meant Fk The World. I must be one of the ‘too old’ ones that have been mentioned. smile

    • EasyFreakinE says:

      09:39pm | 29/09/09

      4N20_?s

    • Haxxors says:

      10:20pm | 29/09/09

      Rick Astley

    • Addsa says:

      10:32pm | 29/09/09

      scAirbus new generation jet engines: i-Whine

    • Tom says:

      10:51pm | 29/09/09

      Well, the new vegemite should be renamed   iFail for Kraft 1.0

    • jw says:

      11:21pm | 29/09/09

      Pretty sure “FTW” = “For The Win”

    • iBill says:

      11:22pm | 29/09/09

      If Kraft really wanted to “hip” it up, why not online orders with free shipping?

    • Timmuh says:

      11:45pm | 29/09/09

      Tiger Airlines = iWait
      Telstra = eBastards
      NSW Health system = YouDie
      Chris Judd = iGouge

    • May says:

      11:57pm | 29/09/09

      overkill, we get the diminuitive i jokes already. isnack 2.0 is a crap name though

    • Brentyn says:

      12:02am | 30/09/09

      Connex - 404 Train Not Found

    • oliver Kidd says:

      12:04am | 30/09/09

      FTW really does mean ‘for the win’, Sa.

    • Jason says:

      01:23am | 30/09/09

      For as long as I can remember, FTW has meant ’ F%%k The World’. Maybe I grew up in the wrong part of Adelaide.

    • Kym says:

      02:44am | 30/09/09

      Just reading through these comments and I have laughed at quite a few of them but the funniest were these:
      iPood
      i-hops (kangaroos!)

      Seriously though what was wrong with just calling it cheesymite?

    • Wedgie Mite says:

      05:03am | 30/09/09

      iSnack2.0 = iDontthinkso,
      TV = iDiotbox
      Centrelink = iQ
      Weighwatchers = iSnack4u
      Australian Tax Office = iWin
      Telstra = iRipuoff3x
      HillsHoist = iSwing
      Victa = iMowupush

      And we’ll always call Vegemite = Vag*namite or Wedgiemite wink

      Loved all the others hehehehee

    • Steve says:

      06:46am | 30/09/09

      Jason is dead on the money.  FTW = f$%k the world.  Ask anyone under 35.

    • Also Steve says:

      07:58am | 30/09/09

      Agree with Steve 0646 30/9.

      Over fifty, a world traveller, very conversant with most TLAs and FLAs. FTW definitely did not start out as For The Win, never hear of it described as such before reading the above comments.

    • Simon says:

      08:06am | 30/09/09

      you people shouldne be complaining about the name, what about the taste?? Have you tried the new recipe? terrible

    • Jason says:

      08:09am | 30/09/09

      steve you must be near on 35 and hoping to grip out what is current with those who still have a clue. FTW = For the Win, L2P IMO. LOLOLOLOLOL!1!!

    • Graeme says:

      08:10am | 30/09/09

      FTW - F¤%K the world. Ask any member of an OMCG.

    • Mike says:

      08:23am | 30/09/09

      20 years ago FTW was a common abbreviation for “F… the World”, Now it definitely means “For the Win” (a World of Warcraft thing I think, so maybe just internet vernacular).  It took me a while to realise what people were talking about on forums.  I still feel a little ripped of that a great TLA has been made lame.

    • Ray from the Bay says:

      08:37am | 30/09/09

      FTW:
      Free the weed (if your that way inclined)
      F*ck the world…
      Anyone who thinks it’s original form is ‘for the win’ probably also thinks sampling/using original tunes in todays music is creative and original…..

    • Lord Jocks Dog says:

      08:39am | 30/09/09

      FTW means F@#k the world always has and always will

    • Trent says:

      09:04am | 30/09/09

      FTW for the online youth of today, including me (I’m 33) means For The Win!. It may not have started out that way, but that is what the younger generation know it as.

      Definitely should have been named FaceSnack.

    • David says:

      09:10am | 30/09/09

      Should be called YUKKEMITE !

    • Robert says:

      09:27am | 30/09/09

      iResume3.0 - for the Kraft marketing person who must by now be looking for a new job…

    • Eugene says:

      10:30am | 30/09/09

      WTF? STFU!

    • Mick says:

      10:47am | 30/09/09

      Despite Geraint’s suggestion, I don’t believe that I missed any sarcasm, I just disagree with the suggestion that FTW means for the win.  I’m over 35, and have never played world of warcraft or any such thing, and have never before seen FTW used in a context that would suggest it means anything other that Fuck the World.

      Then again, the kiddies these days seem to think that calling “shotgun” means something quite different from what I think it means - perhaps I am just too old.

    • Vinh says:

      01:20pm | 30/09/09

      Hmm.  Regarding FTW and any such Internet or pre-internet abbreviations; may I refer you to Urban Dictionary / Wikipedia?

      Obviously, and very very obviously, FTW now has multiple meanings - it seems a little stubborn to insist that a single variation is “ORIGINAL AND BESTEST AND THEREFORE TEH ONLY ONE”.

      As an aside, the most popular internet word of the moment I believe is “fail”. I’d like to see that used in marketing…

    • Brian Last says:

      05:58pm | 30/09/09

      NO NO NO   Call it Smeggy-mite   cos its a cheesy treat you put in your mouth and it tastes like .... well you get my drift

    • Jez says:

      06:16pm | 30/09/09

      “Chris Judd = iGouge”

      Dennis Cometti made that exact same joke a few weeks back…

      “Seriously though what was wrong with just calling it cheesymite?”

      Baker’s Delight might have a problem with that…

    • FFS says:

      06:21pm | 30/09/09

      Mick et al fails to grasp the concept that just because he/they has/have never heard of something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

    • Nick says:

      07:25pm | 30/09/09

      31 here, and until this thread I’ve only ever encountered the “For the win” meaning of “FTW” (and yes, that originated as an online gaming thing and WoW in particular is where I first encountered it).

      Looking it up suggests that bikers also use the acronym to mean “Forever Two Wheels” in addition to the other meanings already discussed in the thread.

    • Maree says:

      08:41pm | 30/09/09

      hmmm, clearly not many bikies read blogs,or engage in web 2.0 or there would be outrage over the co-opting of FTW to something so ridiculoulsy loser-ish as ‘For the Win’
      and the qantas logo is much funnier with the original meanings.
      next people are going to say that figjam means a jam made out of figs!

    • Melissah says:

      01:32am | 01/10/09

      That R.M. Will.i.ams shirt is genius.

    • Gedadinderya says:

      10:52am | 02/10/09

      Lara Bingle = iCandy
      Dr Suess = C@H@ 2.0
      Pussycats = Mi@o

 

Facebook Recommendations

Read all about it

Punch live

Up to the minute Twitter chatter

Anthony Sharwood

Dementor doing a good job for sweden #sbseurovision

Anthony Sharwood

Ukraine song pinches chord progression from The Verve's Bittersweet Symphony. Fo real #sbseurovision

Anthony Sharwood

RT @GerardDaffy: @antsharwood all the talk over there is the grannies will win.they entered to get a church built,feelgood story

Anthony Sharwood

These peole insult my grandmothjer, who was born in minsk, belarus #sbseurovision

Recent posts

The latest and greatest

Abbott’s crass logic: trash the Parliament in order save it

Abbott’s crass logic: trash the Parliament in order save it

An email was sent to almost every politician in Australia this week saying that someone should cut off…

Our special forces don’t always need special treatment

Our special forces don’t always need special treatment

We admire them, but we’re not entirely sure why. We allow them to operate in the shadows; we rarely…

A good holiday is about unrest, not rest

A good holiday is about unrest, not rest

Like a fat full-stop, it lay in my hand. A small orange – not exactly fresh, but purchased anyway…

Gentle jabs to the ribs

They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

A private school girl’s family is sueing her elite, extremely expensive private school for not… Read more

243 comments

Newsletter

Read all about it

Sign up to the free daily Punch newsletter