Keep Calm and Carry On - it’s just the Olympics

Admiral Ackbar says:

01:55pm | 01/05/12

And all the while I thought the Olympics was a measurment of time. As in ‘I can make the Kessel run in under 3 Olympics’. Which, despite being a long time to make the Kessel run when you have access to warp drives and light speed, is significantly more accurate than using ‘parsecs’, which everyone knows is a measure of distance, not time. Man Starwars was bullshit.

Hartz says:

02:03pm | 01/05/12

Anything released to the media is a rouse at best, no actual plans will be released… and I read your “article” with a firm belief that you would be the very first person to scream blue murder and hound the government forever if something did happen and there wasn’t enough security in place… Quit your belly aching and let people with an actual understanding of the situation keep you safe….

What am I an idiot? says:

02:19pm | 01/05/12

Thanks for noting the picture was “digitally altered”, I’d never had known.

MarkS says:

02:26pm | 01/05/12

It is all a ruse to show their armed might & intimidate Argentina from invading the Falklands again. This time to take oil instead of sheep & peat. 

By the way the Brits do not have an aircraft carrier. HMS Ocean is a Landing Helicopter Platform (LHP). Calling it an aircraft carrier is a bit like calling the original subcompact Honda Civic a family sedan.

Cynicised says:

02:44pm | 01/05/12

Aah, the Land Of Hope And Glory. How wonderful to see her Britannic Majesty’s troops are prepared to tackle anything, from Giant Kitty Rampant to a crack Suicide Squad ( who have been busy on live excercises). hehee..

Thanks for the chuckles, Tors

Rick of the Dustbowl says:

02:56pm | 01/05/12

And after the great military success of Afganistan who would have thought they need to show off. Leaving that country with their tails between their legs…............again.

amy says:

02:59pm | 01/05/12

if the military wanted to install missiles on my roof…Id be more than happy to allow it

seriously…misiles on the roof? thats AWSOME

though it doed sound far-fetched

subotic says:

02:59pm | 01/05/12

If I was Britannia, I’d wave the rules….

NotASecurityExpert says:

03:06pm | 01/05/12

Yep, it’s a terrible idea and over the top knee jerk response because there has never been a terrorist attack at an Olympic games - or London has never been bombed.

Why don’t you leave security and protection to the experts instead of your snide armchair quarterback commentary mmmkay?

Paul says:

03:12pm | 01/05/12

Laser equipped sharks aren’t very reliable and likely to attack a trainer. I’d prefer a US Navy trained bottlenose dolphin or Californian sea lion. Recent intelligence reports suggest terrorists are using sharks and dolphins are the best weapon to kick some terrorist shark ass.

The knight who says... says:

03:15pm | 01/05/12

Ni!!

David says:

03:32pm | 01/05/12

I’m sure the Chaser’s team could reveal if Olympic security was affective.

Wickerman says:

03:52pm | 01/05/12

I thought it was the Ministry of Silly Walks NOT Funny Walks. But at least the terrorists won’t be expecting the Spanish Inquisition.

Ben says:

05:56pm | 01/05/12

>>Don’t tell the terrorists, but the UK authorities are just using this dick-swinging distraction…

Dick-swinging distraction?

Zeta says:

11:12pm | 01/05/12

I know it’s late, but my spider senses told me someone was WRONG ON THE INTERNET and I had to immediately wake up and correct them.

I know it might seem ridiculous to shoot a hijacked plane out of the sky that was intending to crash into its target when if you shot it down, it would… crash into something anyway, but luckily for us, better minds than ours have thought this through.

Prior to the September 11 attacks, the Powers That Be were not blind to the possibility of evil terrorists trying to use hijacked planes as bombs, they just didn’t really have much to do about it.

The overwhelming majority of anti-air systems use infrared tracking, that is, they home in on the exhaust signature of aircraft and detonate. This works a treat when shooting at fighter jets, which most systems were intended for, as fighter aircraft are basically an engine, some bombs, and a little chair for Tom Cruise with a whopping great exhaust pipe lashed on the back for good measure.

The problem of course is that commerical aircraft have four big engines strapped a decent enough distance from the fuselage that if you launched a Stinger missile at one, it would send the plane spiraling into the ground, but leave enough control surfaces intact so it would make a big, dirty great hole wherever it hit. Counter productive in the event of a hijacking.

That’s why US AIr National Guard pilots are trained to fly directly at a commericial air craft, launch unguided, high yield rockets at the nose cone, and then peel away. The explosive impact basically vapourises the aircraft and everyone on it, meaning the debris would be the consistency of confetti and basically harmless, unless of course, you happened to be on it.

Luckily, after 9/11, someone realised that asking pilots to do this was about as sensible as sending Luke Skywalker to hit a target on the Death Star that was, in his words, the size of a womp rat. Although A New Hope leaves us with the impression that womp rats were larger than your average rat, it still doesn’t really seem that good of an idea to expect pilots used to hitting targets with multi billion dollar laser imaging systems to suddenly fly at larger planes and shoot targets the size of a hub cap with missiles that weigh as much as a car. Unless they used The Force. Which I don’t think F-16 pilots have.

Anyway, that’s why some egg heads in the UK of all places came up with the Starstreak missile system being deployed for the Olympics. Yes. Starstreak. Not the JF111902 ‘Starstreak’ Surface To Air Missile System Whatever. No, it’s just called the ‘Starstreak’, like, if you were an X-Wing pilot, that would probably be your name. ‘Dave Starstreak’. ‘Use the Force Dave!’

It launches at exceptionally high speeds, intercepts the target, paints it with a laser beam and then maneuvers toward that point where it launches three separate munitions that home in and blow up on contact with whatever they’re pointing, in this case, the fuselage of a commerical airliner.

Nothing remains. Like, you certainly couldn’t, I don’t know, recover the f***ing passports of the terrorists and use them as an excuse to invade a Middle Eastern country or anything. The biggest piece of debris would be about the size of a coin.

I’m going back to bed.

John Bull says:

02:25am | 02/05/12

What a horrible, mean-spirited, bitter and jealous article. Classic Aussie shoulder chip. Worried that the London Olympics are going to wipe away the last, fast-fading memories of Sydney? This isn’t 2000, the world has changed. Unlike you, Britain is a serious country on the international stage and a prime terror target. Of course there is going to be a huge security operation. Brits are well able to make fun of ourselves and some of the more ridiculous aspects of Olympic preparations. Unlike thin-skinned Aussies we can also take some good humoured, amusing banter from others. Unfortunately, whenever Aussies have a pop at Britain it is neither good humoured or amusing, it comes across as childish and lame. Your country is supposedly perfect, ours is about to collapse in a heap at any moment (or so you’ve been telling us since the 70s) so why do you even bother what is happening in Britain? Most Brits have zero interest in Australia, although trouncing you in the medals table again will be quite fun!

Dr Roper says:

09:11am | 02/05/12

One thing everyone seems to miss is that the London Olympics are the first Olympics in living memory hosted by a iconic global metropolis.

Beijing 2008
Athens 2004
Sydney 2000
Atlanta 1996
Barcelona 1992
Seoul 1988
LA 1984
Moscow 1980

Anyone see a London, New York or a Tokyo?

Tokyo was cancelled because of WW2 and New York has amazingly never hosted one.

There is a huge difference between running an Olympics in a London, NY or Tokyo and running one in Barcelona, LA or Sydney.

Barcelona, LA, Sydney - Lovely cities where nothing of any global consequence happens.

London, New York, Tokyo - News making, ever changing, agenda setting cities, whose lead the rest of the world tends to follow.

Also all three have experienced major game changing terror attacks.

For that alone this is the most interesting Olympics in 70 years because it’s a blueprint for future games in the world’s most iconic, complex and vibrant cities.

Dr Roper says:

10:47am | 02/05/12

“Whether the Games are held in London or Barcelona makes very little difference to most of the world.”

It make a massive difference to large parts of the world.

The least memorable Olympics of the past 20 years was Sydney for Europeans, N&S Americans and Africans. Horrible time zone.

Most people were asleep. Following your favourite events at mad times was a nightmare I was living in France at the time and you wouldn’t have even have known it was happening.

Getting up in the middle of the night to follow a big event is normal for Aussies. It’s just plain weird, why bother in Europe. The 2002 world cup had the same issue.