Much has been said and written about the wisdom of Kevin Rudd’s glistening mega-slug on the apparent evil that is tobacco.
As a parent, it does seem sad that a future generation of child smokers will now be priced out of the market. And while the jury might still be out on the links between smoking and illness, the Government has clearly thrown its lot in with the “it certainly appears to be quite dangerous” crowd.
I have no background in medicine so I will leave this part of the debate to others. But I do know this – I just paid $17.50 for a packet of Marlboro Reds, and no, you can’t have one of them.
If one good thing can come from this latest assault on the smoking class it’s that social smokers will finally become so uneasy about shamelessly bludging their way through the night at the pub or a party that they will either start forking out for their own fags, or stop smoking properly.
Social smokers are an irritating form of humanity, like those tele-evangelists who spend their days thundering against pleasures of the flesh, only to sneak off whenever they can to a cheap motel to engage in illicit sex acts.
The social smoker keeps a handy mental checklist of all the professional smokers in their circle of acquaintances. With a couple of drinks under their belt they feel no qualms about repeatedly hitting you up for gaspers throughout the evening. They often have no real interest in talking to you, rather they just recognise you for what you are – a real smoker – and will make just enough chitchat to get a dart and a light before sliding back to the conversation with their actual friends.
As cigarette prices have soared over the past five years, a new trend has emerged – the stranger who asks to “buy” a cigarette, which is always a false offer, as few smokers are going to be so stingy as to take the cash and will instead just roll their eyes in defeat and hand one over.
It’s bad enough being under siege from government. It’s worse that we’re under siege from almost everyone we know too.
As any decent smoker will tell you, it now quite possible to blow fifty bucks in one day on cigarettes, largely for other people. Most pack a day smokers will edge up their intake when they have a drink. The problem is, so do all the social smokers. If you get to the pub with the remains of a packet you bought that morning, you will buy another one as back-up to sate the needs of the casual faggers, then realise at the end of the night that you’ve only got a couple left and need another pack for the morning. That will be $52.50, thank you sir.
Jeremy Clarkson recently wrote a terrific column about the sheer horror committed smokers endure when they realise their full pack of 20 has quickly dwindled to 10 upon arriving at a party where the social smokers crawl out of the woodwork at the first sweet whiff of smoke.
Setting aside this evil brand of stress, it’s now becoming a cost of living issue in Australia.
For the first time, today’s little purchase has really made me stop and think about chucking it in. It’s an absurd amount of money for such a low-return vice. It would be cheaper to buy a brand new CD every second day for the rest of your life than to keep doing this.
If we can have a Quitline for people who really don’t want to smoke any more, the tobacco industry should set up a Commitline for those who clearly still do want to smoke. In fact maybe the Government should do it, as there is a real danger that economics is about to trump psychology in determining smoker behaviour. As either a matter of price or principle, those of us who pay our taxes once an hour outside on the footpath might jeopardise this revenue stream by ditching it once and for all.
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