I’m so glad New Zealand shifted closer to Australia
So we’re now almost a foot closer to New Zealand, which has prompted many jokes about Bondi being swamped and our Immigration Department having a lot of work taken off their hands.
I heard a Kiwi on the radio this morning hoping the airlines would drop their prices so he could go home and visit his family more often.
Apparently New Zealand’s been sneaking up on us, a few centimetres at a time, for years and last week made an almighty push during a 7.8 magnitude earthquake. Initially I was alarmed at the news, but now am beginning to think things could be worse.
We could be getting closer to North Korea, which already reckons it has missiles that can reach our northern tip. A couple of metres closer to the palace of Kim Jong Il and we could be in real trouble.
No, this development in our geographic relationship with New Zealand is good news, and here’s five reasons to be happy about it.
1. We’ll be closer to Cloudy Bay, which despite the views of Punch contributor Nick Ryan, means greater access to excellent sauvignon blanc.
2. When people decide to row across the Tasman, they’ve got a greater chance of making it.
3. It will cost less to go skiing (if you’re into that sort of thing).
4. We can start barracking for the All Blacks, because the Wallabies are so terrible.
5. It makes it easier for us to take credit for all the New Zealander actors and singers we already claim as our own.
New Zealand shouldn’t get any ideas though. There’s such a thing as the neighbours being too close.
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