According to the latest app on my iPhone I have seven years, six months, 19 days, 10 hours, 40 minutes and 31 seconds left to have any more babies. Wait, 21 seconds. No, 5 seconds. Aghhhhhh.

It all looks so simple when you're 27. Cartoon: Warren Brown

Count down clocks are by definition a torment. According to I’m set to expire on Anzac Day in 2077, which will make me 101. Only time will tell if that is good news or bad news.

Yes these things are arbitrary, based on sweeping generalisations, and fail to take myriad factors into account. But some times sweeping generalisations are made for a reason.

The Wonder Clock app, which you can buy for $1.99, is on the face of it a particularly unhelpful little device. Based on nothing more than your date of birth it provides a permanent reminder to carry with you everywhere that at some point you’ll be in your early 40s.

Women already bombarded with expectations, both their own and other people’s, could be forgiven for feeling pretty peeved about someone developing an app designed to give an air of dread to a timeline already made hard enough to bear by hormones.

In fact it’s highly optimistic. Judging by the calculation it’s given me, women have got until the age of 44 to get pregnant. It’s an understatement to say by that age a woman’s fertility is significantly diminished.

Not to mention the risks of pregnancy and birth are much higher, and the levels of energy required for looking after a newborn are not as in as high supply as they once were.

The woman who developed the app says she did it to spark conversation about fertility and age.

“Mira” says her own clock is ticking, and “I created this clock to face my own fears. To beckon the elephant in the room so to speak. To release my own power, my own choices. To open a dialogue with other women about fertility, em-powerment, and loving ourselves. We are women, and we are ticking. But we are so much more.”

Yeah, that doesn’t make any sense.

But what she has done, if inadvertently, is point out to women that despite what we see on the covers of the gossip mags, eventually fertility does run out.

I remember when I was at school having conversations with my girlfriends about how were were all going to wait to have kids until our late 30s. That gave us a whole 20 years to have a great time before starting a family, which we thought would be as easy as saying “ok, now it’s time.”

Of course nothing is that simple.

Just ask Virginia Haussegger, one of the first to sound the alarm on this topic, with her 2002 column “The sins of our feminist mothers”.

Haussegger argued women who were raised to believe they could put off children until their career was established were sold a lie. At the time it caused a storm and spawned a book.

Now it seems so obvious as to be ridiculous. It’s just the celebrity media that is yet to catch up, trading as it does so successfully on pre-gericatric motherhood.

Fashion designer Collette Dinnigan added some much needed reality to the coverage of her own pregnancy at the age of 46, recently saying: ‘‘I think people see so many Hollywood stars out there having babies in their 40s. It’s a message that I think women need to understand it’s very difficult to have a baby in your 40s. You really need to start a lot earlier if you want to start a family and I think there are a lot of misconceptions that it’s easy to have a career and then start a family at 40.’‘

It’s an important message for young women. They shouldn’t be scared into starting a family, but they should be informed about the difficulties of leaving it until mid-life.

The Wonder Clock is a very blunt instrument, but it could be argued it needs to be even blunter.

Most of us don’t have until we’re 44.

Most commented


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    • amy says:

      12:39pm | 02/07/12

      I think the thing is it should be ok at accept that you may only want or can have one or the other

    • che says:

      12:54pm | 02/07/12

      Yes it’s about accepting what life has for you, and making the most of it, whatever it may be.

    • DuffyMum says:

      12:57pm | 02/07/12

      And some of us didn’t even have until 35 thanks to such a horror called Premature Ovarian Failure AKA Premature Menopause. Never heard of this until diagnosed with it at age 34. And sadly, it’s apparently more common than you’d think.

    • Steve says:

      03:52pm | 02/07/12

      My wife’s aunty had it happen when she was in her mid 20s. Her husband left her because of it. She’s never been able to have kids of her own but she’s been a damn good aunty - and has a better man now.

    • AdamC says:

      01:00pm | 02/07/12

      It used to be that there was a whole social infrastructure in place to match men and women up in their twenties (or earlier) and relentlessly pressure them to get married and start a family. Now, both the match-making and social pressure - with the absence of the lamentations of elderly, grandchildless parents - have largely vanished. This has left women to muddle these things through on their own.

      Meanwhile, unfortunate biological realities do not care about a woman’s happening career, the supposed shortage of decent blokes to procreate with, nor the fact that a girl’s got a lifestyle to maintain. This has led to a whole industry seemingly created to prod and prompt women to, in essence, settle. Even Sex and the City turned against single childlessness once the characters’ biological clocks started ticking away too hard.

    • Elphaba says:

      02:35pm | 02/07/12

      Dude, I think you’re awesome, you know this - but you’re completely wrong that the pressure has faded.  If anything, getting married and having kids has become a competitive sport. 

      If you don’t see the societal pressure, good for you, but trust me, it is there, and it’s very loud.

    • M says:

      03:01pm | 02/07/12

      Competitive sport? That actually makes a lot of sense…

    • Compo will End says:

      03:19pm | 02/07/12

      I was out with friends only last week when I heard one say to the other, ‘you might not appreciate this (the upcoming story) because you don’t have kids.’ I could tell she was crushed to have that said.

    • Elphaba says:

      03:37pm | 02/07/12

      @Compo, I’ve heard mothers say that right before a story about poop.  I’m pretty sure that no matter how many kids I have, I will never want to sit around in a group and talk about the contents of my whelp’s nappy.

    • AdamC says:

      03:51pm | 02/07/12

      Elphaba, really? I had always thought that, because women now can have their own careers, etc, that there is less pressure to find a hubby. Still, I guess there remains the expectation.

      Also, I agree re the poop stuff. One of the most irritating things about many parents is their assumption that everyone is interested in the most banal acts of their little darlings. I would not put it past a group of new parents to have a straightfaced discussion about the excitement of excrement.

    • Elphaba says:

      04:07pm | 02/07/12

      @AdamC, from an individual standpoint, yes, there’s loads more opportunity to do something other than having kids.  But as any single girl with married friends will tell you, their hooked-up friends cannot stop talking about their progeny and how it’s the most fulfilling thing they’ve ever done.  They’re amazed that you’re not concentrating on doing the same thing.  They can’t understand why you don’t want to talk about their bundle of joy as much as they do.  And it’s not just face-to-face.  Now we have Facebook to remind us about the dump their baby took while we weren’t there!

      It’s never ending.  No matter how much women extricate themselves from the traditional role of wife and mother, society is always, ALWAYS there to judge us.  It won’t ever change.  Women who don’t have kids will still be looked at as a misfit in society.

      Whatever, I’ve embraced it. wink

    • M says:

      04:34pm | 02/07/12

      “Women who don’t have kids will still be looked at as a misfit in society.”
      Don’t worry Elphaba, I’m some sort of loser because I’m not married or don’t have a long term girlfriend yet. Apparently being single is not a choice.

    • Elphaba says:

      04:59pm | 02/07/12

      @M, nah, I’m not worried.  It’ll happen if it’s meant to.  If not, then I have many other plans, so either way, I’ll be busy! smile

    • Scotchfinger says:

      05:26pm | 02/07/12

      M and Elphaba, don’t worry you are both still young - although M often sounds like a cranky 50 year old with a gun, ha ha. Who knows what’s round the corner? I wasn’t a dad until my late thirties.

    • PhilD says:

      05:27pm | 02/07/12

      “Getting married and having kids a competitive sport”

      That puts a new perspective on rooting for your team.

    • amy says:

      05:33pm | 02/07/12

      and I’m kind of glad…..I don’t want kids messing with the action figure collection….

    • bael says:

      01:01pm | 02/07/12

      Breeding is a young persons game. Both male and females make healthier babies when they are younger.
      However looking after the babies should be a family thing and people need to except families come in all sorts of shapes and sizes.

    • Adam says:

      04:58pm | 02/07/12

      people need to, except families, come in all sorts of shapes and sizes.

      Fixed. Kind of.

    • PhilD says:

      05:30pm | 02/07/12

      That’s shocking Adam.

      people need to accept that families come in all sorts of shapes and sizes

    • Boon Low says:

      01:09pm | 02/07/12

      Funny how people would be stupid enough to pay for something like this.

    • Colonelwhisky says:

      01:20pm | 02/07/12

      Just putting it out there but what are people thoughts about IVF treatment for older women and the medical rebate. Is there a cut off age? Should there be a cut off age?

      Personally I think there should be. If you put off having children to increase your wealth and financial security then you should also factor in the possible cost of IVF.

    • Markus says:

      01:34pm | 02/07/12

      I don’t think that Medicare should cover IVF at all.
      Not being able to have kids is not a condition that affects standard of living, and there is no medical benefit to being able to have them.

    • Mark says:

      02:32pm | 02/07/12

      I agree with Markus, but then again, we have a baby bonus scheme. Obviously no logical thought was put in to birthing policy, why would you expect any in relation to fertility treatment? Nearly everyone on this planet still thinks they have a god given right to birth a child, this is the first misconception that we need to change before a logical, manageable population policy will be thought about

    • Phil says:

      03:48pm | 02/07/12

      Pretty much on the money. Im against IVF at all let alone having medicare fund it.
      Enough people on the planet, this having a child at all costs thing is getting stupid.
      So many people who shouldnt have children do, so many who cant afford to have children do (at our tax payer expense).

      @Mark, Spot on. Nice to see im not the only one who can see past the BS.

    • TheHuntress says:

      01:21pm | 02/07/12

      Having found myself in the awkward position of being pregnant at 23 I have pondered this puzzle many times over myself. And (for my own convenience) I have come up with an answer.

      Having a child at a young age has actually opened up life opportunites for me - not closed them down. I don’t understand the concept of “establishing a career” prior to having children. I hate (really hate) to have to admit it, but having children is not condusive to progressing a career. Instead, having a child young I found myself learning a lot of life skills very quickly, I studied for a degree while my son was young, graduated and started my career when he began school.

      It hasn’t been easy, however I have found that in the early days of my career, while I’m still learning so much about my profession, there is more flexibility to spend time with my son and be with my family. By the time I’m 40 my son will be 17 and thinking about uni/leaving home/being independant (I hope!) - I’ll be in a position to give my full attention to my career and have plenty of experience behind me to hopefully advance me to where I want to be.

      This is very personal, hasn’t come without failures (studying as a single mum was…interesting) and wouldn’t work for everyone. But after my initial panic and feelings of stupidity of having a child so young, I’ve actually found it to be greatly beneficial and helpful. Enough so that I would recommend to women who do want to have children and a career to start having children young.

    • Scotchfinger says:

      01:39pm | 02/07/12

      you think your son will be leaving home at 17? Oh my god, you are in for a world of hurt. Take a look at the Department of Statistics data on current family demographics, sit down and have a strong drink.

      I would be LOL-ing if your naivety wasn’t so charming.

    • Bomb78 says:

      01:41pm | 02/07/12

      TheHuntress: my wife and I made the same decision. When some of our friends are still changing nappies, we will be leaving our adult children behind for the three month European holiday. There is more than one way to pack it all into one lifetime, and having children after everything else isn’t the only way. In fact, there are lots of positives to having the children first.

    • Ashlee says:

      01:42pm | 02/07/12

      I don’t think people stupid at all for having children young. It definitely has it’s benefits. I guess it depends on what you do with the opportunities presented to you. Some people have kids early and don’t attempt to establish careers or study like you have (and well done btw).

      I’m 27 and don’t have kids yet by choice. I’m getting married and we will probably start trying in 2014. I am determined that we set ourselves up financially first. I actually get scoffed at when I mention this to other family members - they shoot down my plans and state that “you can never have enough money” - perhaps, but I can certainly be debt free and have more than a few hundred dollars in the bank. I sometimes wonder if they scoff because they didn’t have the opportunity to do what I wish to do.

      I am a little concerned I guess that the later I leave it, the harder it might be, but I do feel like I’m making the right decision.

      But back on topic properly - this app is ridiculously. She found a way to play into women’s fears and make money off it. It’s as ridiculous as those “send your name and your dream partners name…” things like cost about $5!

    • TheHuntress says:

      01:54pm | 02/07/12

      @ Scotchfinger

      No, I don’t think my son will be leaving home at 17…it’s just a distant glimmer in the future that I can look forward too. LOL But hey, when he’s 17 there’s nothing to stop ME from running away and doing whatever I want to do.

    • Wayne Kerr says:

      02:07pm | 02/07/12

      Actually Ashlee the “you an never have enough money” argument is quite valid.

      Obviously it can be done and the choice is yours but if I had waited to have kids with my ex -missus when we were financially secure and debt free I don’t think I’d even have kids now and I ain’t no spring chicken either.

    • Scotchfinger says:

      02:22pm | 02/07/12

      Well are you named Huntress, or perhaps Diana the pagan hunter-goddess.

    • Froot Tingles says:

      02:37pm | 02/07/12

      We had our kids late-ish (I was about 40) and there are advantages and disadvantages:
      Young parents have more energy and will be more likely to be around for grand-kids. When the kids grow up and leave/get kicked out, you can go and do stuff for yourself.

      Older parents can have a few more things paid off and be more established in a career (that’s important for at least one of you).

      Some young parents are still in party-mode to the point of being a bad example for the kids, whereas we’re over that stage and devote ourselves to our family. OTOH, we’re too tired to be in party mode grin

      Some young parents we’ve met feel they’ve had to grow up and settle down too quickly, but speaking for myself I had a lot of wasted nothing years in the middle there.

      The important things are to recognise the different advantages and disadvantages of each decision and work with them, and don’t piss your wages up against a wall. (that second one is more for me than anyone else)

    • Steve says:

      03:58pm | 02/07/12

      My wife’s parents had their kids young. My parents had their kids old. After looking at both, my wife and I decided that having them young was by far the better situation and that’s what we’ve done. My dad was retiring by the time the last of us left home and they were already old when they became grandparents. My wife was able to relate to her parents in a way I wasn’t because the age gap wasn’t so huge. By the time my wife’s parents became grandparents, they were still young (early 50s) with the last of their kids moving out of home. With plenty of time and means to enjoy their grandkids. I’m just about 40 and have teenagers. They have friends with parents who are almost old enough to be my parents. I do a lot more with my kids because I’m young enough to still be physically active and share a lot of interests with them. To me that’s a huge plus.

    • Rebecca says:

      03:59pm | 02/07/12

      Scotchfinger - If TheHuntress lives in a small, boring regional town, she can be sure that her son will take his high school certificate and then bail to the city ASAP.

    • TheHuntress says:

      04:56pm | 02/07/12

      @ Scotchfinger

      Definitely “The Huntress” after deciding that my own personality was far too boring and I needed an alter ego. My good friend “The Door Gunner” and I wrote a saga about our story. Funny to us only.

      @ Rebecca

      I live inner city, so no hope of shooing the lad to the city. But that’s ok, I’m happy to be the one doing the running away, while I’m still young enough to do so. There are some merits to having children young, but I’ve never enjoyed the feeling of being tied down. I want to work for MSF and it’s not something I can run off to do, leaving a little boy at home. Parental responsibility does come first.

    • HeatherG says:

      10:11am | 03/07/12

      I’m 41 and my eldest is almost 22 (yes, I married young—and no, it wasn’t because I fell pregnant!). He left home early. My 20 year-old is still at home and I’m happy to have him here while he finishes his studies, so long as he pays his share of the expenses and helps out (he does). My 17 yo is joining the ARF and will therefore probably be out of home soon.

      It’s true, I’m now in my 3rd year of Uni and am looking to do honours and my DPhil once thats done—and I still have plenty of time to follow a career in research.

      My grandmother had her career young and her first child in her late 30s (in 1942—yes, ma, “career and kids” is not as new as we preach); her career was established enough for that to work for her.

      I had my last child at 30. I could not *imagine* having them later—no energy!

      It can work well both ways, imo.

    • Eve says:

      01:21pm | 02/07/12

      I had my girls at 20,21,22 as easy as, my son at 28 took me quiet a while to be myself again, speaks for itself doesn’t it ?

    • miloinacup says:

      01:43pm | 02/07/12

      Yes. Don’t have sons.

    • Blackadder says:

      01:29pm | 02/07/12

      Women have been bombarded for years about starting careers first, then settling down and having kids later in life. But everyone’s circumstances, health and genetics are different. We wanted two kids, but with my wife in her mid-30’s, and having had a horrendous first pregnancy, we were told ‘no more’. A mate’s wife, same age, nearly died giving birth due to an undiagnosed medical condition. Another mate’s wife can’t have kids at all, and by the time they found out, were considered too old to adopt or foster. You can’t just assume all will be all right.

      I don’t hold a lot of belief into this “at 40 all the good blokes are gone” rubbish. I do believe in that the longer you wait, the less chance your body will be able to support and carry a healthy baby. It’s all about risk…the longer you wait, the greater the risk. Wait too long and…well…you can’t rewind the body clock.

    • Michael says:

      01:30pm | 02/07/12

      The world is over populated, the last thing we need is more people on the planet, lets get over the fact the everyone needs to have kids, and try and reduce the burden on the planet a little

    • einie says:

      04:34pm | 02/07/12

      It’s not a coincidence that countries with population replacement rates below 0 (greece, Spain, Italy) are also the same whose economies are quickly dwindling. We might reduce Australia’s population (to greater than a person per square km?) but it won’t end up the economic nirvana you might hope it may be meaning your life and those of the rest of us will get worse, not better.

    • Emma says:

      01:34pm | 02/07/12

      For god’s sake.  From my own 30 something perspective, most women, myself included (and I’ve spoken to enough friends, family and coworkers about this hideous pressure) are only fully aware of their biological clocks from a young age.  It’s drummed into us - have children, get married, oh, and work on your career while you’re at it.

      Frankly it’s condescending and rude to constantly remind women of this, as if we were stupidly naive about it.  Most women would prefer to have children younger and do NOT put off having children for their careers or lifestyle.  I’m sick of hearing this crap.

      Men “may” be able to have children until later but they should still be stepping up to the plate as early as women if they want a child!  Just because you can have a child at 45 or 55 or whatever, doesn’t make it right oh, and we do need a (hopefully) nice bloke to do it with who also wants children. 

      Not so easy really when you actually look at the logistics of it without the overly emotive, judgmental attitudes.  And it’s certainly not about our “careers”.

    • Justme says:

      01:49pm | 02/07/12

      I didn’t even meet my hubby until I was 30. The men I was with in my 20’s were not parenting material at all. I didn’t delay anything on purpose. It just never happened. As it was had our first at 34 and second at 38.

    • B says:

      02:04pm | 02/07/12

      It’s the same as the logic involved in Tampon ads and telling smokers that smoking is bad for them. Gee really!? I’m so glad you told me, I had no idea… .

    • Mark says:

      03:28pm | 02/07/12

      @B- Not really the same at all. The adverts on TV for tampons are aimed at making money for private companies, it’s not to remind women to buy tampons.
      Also, 60 years ago there was advertising suggesting that smoking cigarettes would actually cure a sore throat. It was not so long ago that we, as a species, thought tobacco was a harmless bit of fun so showing some people the dangers of smoking through graphic advertising would be a real wake up call- For the rest of us, it’s just another excuse to light one up (It’s amazing how much seeing smoking on TV, including QUIT ads, makes you want to have one)

    • Sad Sad Reality says:

      03:43pm | 02/07/12

      “I didn’t even meet my hubby until I was 30.”

      I hope that doesn’t mean…

      “The men I was with in my 20’s were not parenting material at all.”

      So your husband got the leftovers of men who were not parenting material. I’m sure he’s over the moon.

    • Justme says:

      05:59pm | 02/07/12

      Oh dear Sad Sad, throwing out lines and no one is biting?

    • Kev says:

      01:36pm | 02/07/12

      Jeez Tory, if you wanted a root so bad why not just come out and ask?

    • Scotchfinger says:

      02:43pm | 02/07/12

      oddly, Tory has not replied to your comment. Looks like your silver tongue didn’t work this time, Kev; I’m as mystified as you are!

    • Kev says:

      03:58pm | 02/07/12

      Tory might now have replied to you, but guess who has an invite for drinks after work from a certain female Punch Editor?

    • the digger says:

      01:37pm | 02/07/12

      For the first time ever, I want an iPhone and to look at this app every day knowing that i have made the right choice to never ever have children.

      But if i was to have them, i would have had them at 25.

    • Martin says:

      01:55pm | 02/07/12

      My wife is a ticking time bomb and once a month she goes off. I even had a fallout shelter installed next to the house to co-incide with this event. It’s called a shed. In it is everything I need to keep a low profile while the dust settles.

    • Incoming says:

      05:36pm | 02/07/12

      @ Martin Try it with 4 daughters and a wife pal

    • miloinacup says:

      01:55pm | 02/07/12

      Once I hit 30 I will start thinking about kids.

    • Sad Sad Reality says:

      03:37pm | 02/07/12

      Too old. Too old to begin the training.

    • Your Ovaries says:

      01:55pm | 02/07/12

      I think this is a great idea!  It would be good if it could include further information, like what food you stick in your gob, how much weight you’ve got, whether you suck on cancer sticks or not to give you a better approximation.

      Women need to deal with reality on these issues, rather than have their head up in the cloud.

    • B says:

      01:58pm | 02/07/12

      Some people seem to think that you must have certain things in your life to be “complete”. Utter rubbish. If you find yourself single and childless at 40, you are generally considered odd in some way, a man hater and/or child hater, or a closet lesbian. It is sad that people believe they have to check off an imaginary list to be a complete and happy person. Life just doesn’t work that way. I think that IVF should be available to those that need it (and can afford it), but if you are still trying IVF at 45, after years of failed attempts, at some point you just have to accept it is not meant to be.

    • Scotchfinger says:

      02:54pm | 02/07/12

      ‘possibility destroys mere acceptance’. G.E.M Anscombe.

    • Daz says:

      01:59pm | 02/07/12

      The up side of having kids early is, by the time you hit your forties, when some are only thinking about it, you get your life back. Woo hoo!

      And your kids can relate to you better. Like what teen finds it easy to relate to a fifty or sixty year old?

    • clix says:

      02:42pm | 02/07/12

      spot on Daz - im 44 and my kids are 16 - had them when I was 28 - should have probably done it 5 years earlier but got sucked into the old ” need to be financial” etc etc.  Shows that most 23 Y/O have no idea - I sure didnt.

      I wager that very few people who have kids at 40 - who will be ferrying them around to sporting and social events when they are 55, will be glad they waited!!

      some have no choice and I feel for those that suffer infertility - it is a wider problem that most think.

    • K2 says:

      02:04pm | 02/07/12

      I’m currently creating (pat. pending) an app that tells you just how gullible you are.  You can buy the bronze version for $1.99, silver for $4.99 or gold deluxe super accurate edition for $199.95.  The ‘gullibility sensing’ device is very sensitive and so the cheaper versions do not have the correct dampeners, and sensors attached hence the giant increase in cost for the gold deluxe version.  Taking orders now.  Don’t miss out on this soon to be released super important to your life app.  Don’t be the only one without the Gullability-Meter!

    • Martin says:

      02:53pm | 02/07/12


      OMG, I must have one ! Sell me one. At any price. I will not sleep peacefully until I have that app on my phone. Rinse. Spin. Repeat.

    • Wayne Kerr says:

      02:10pm | 02/07/12

      According to Death Clock I’m going to die at age 74 which is quite interesting since most of my family on my father’s side died at around that age.

    • hand2mouth says:

      02:27pm | 02/07/12

      Yeah, about that…..
      I chose Sadistic and then Pssimistic - they both said I should have died 20 and 32 years ago. Oh, wait I’m dead…OK I accept that - but please don’t tell anybody.

    • James1 says:

      03:13pm | 02/07/12

      Finally the zombie apocalypse had started.

      I’m a little disappointed that the zombies can use computers and post comments on The Punch, but it’s better than no zombie apocalypse at all.

    • hand2mouth says:

      03:45pm | 02/07/12

      There’s nothing like a tech-savvy zombie.
      Tomorrow zee werldt!

    • Fred says:

      02:16pm | 02/07/12

      Most gen x women rewarded the douchebags in their 20s and now it’s pretty much all over for them. Gen y seems to be more conservative and sensible and has seen what a bunch of idiots gen x are and seem to be settling down at the right time.

      Well that’s my suspicion, love to see some stats.

    • Fiddler says:

      06:58pm | 02/07/12

      as someone who has straddled (and dated) in both generations, I can say that’s crap. I had a ten year hiatus from dating (called being married) and it was a massive eye opener coming out. The gen Y girls all admit to getting around, a lot more than was thought of fifteen years ago.

      One difference is the non-arseholes get a go now. They do still throw their minges at cock-head Alphas though

    • ab says:

      02:18pm | 02/07/12

      Great, something else to make me feel guilty.  I’m 31 and have wanted to have children for as long as I can remember.  I haven’t put it off due to my career.  For some reason I have never had a long term relationship.  As everyday goes by I feel more and more guilty for not having attracted a partner.  I know relationships and children aren’t everything but for me it is important.  Anyway, for anyone else out there in the same situation, I know how you feel, and please don’t give up hope.  I know I deserve a loving relationship and children, and I know there are other women out there who deserve the same.  There is no rhyme or reason why it happens for some and not others, but I’m not giving up!

    • James says:

      04:08pm | 02/07/12

      You can blame feminism for making men cynical of women and ensuring there is no incentive for getting married.
      It’s also this current culture of “instant gratification” where people don’t consider the future and therefore don’t change course until they see the wall in front of them.
      This whole waiting until the right time / when you are financially stable / waiting for “mr right” while having fun with all the “mr wrongs” is socialised eugenics and it is working extremely well in keeping population growth low in our vapid self-centred western culture.

    • clix says:

      02:34pm | 02/07/12

      “i need to be financially stable to have kids” - rubbish. Have kids young when you are young and have the energy. They wont care if you dont have any money! Believe it or not - money is not everything.  frugality will encourage them to stand on their own to feet and support themselves as soon as they can when they become working studying teens.  why do kids stay at home? - Duh - cos we soft parents let them!!

      having kids in your early twenties means you can have a career if you so choose in your forties, in order to earn the money to live like kings in your fifties and onwards.

      the media tells us we have to have the house, the car, the holidays and the lifestlye - kids dont care about these things - they just want your love and your companionship through life.

    • Elphaba says:

      02:47pm | 02/07/12

      This is a great point - my parents made very little money, and my childhood certainly wasn’t deprived.  They spent the money on important things, like making sure we had clothes and schooling and our health. 

      It’s only when you start thinking you need to buy a kid an iPad, that you become unstuck.  Well said, clix.

    • miloinacup says:

      03:25pm | 02/07/12

      True, but judging by the amount of people whinging about the cost of living these days, being financially stable IS important. You don’t have to be millionaires, but earning enough money to live comfortably is (in my opinion) essential. I don’t want to be living paycheck to paycheck, worrying constantly about money and whether or not I can afford to get Christmas presents/etc this year.

    • Blind Freddy says:

      04:29pm | 02/07/12


      So young and so much to learn.

    • Mark says:

      06:53pm | 02/07/12

      What about if the difference between 25 and 35 means public vs private education for the kids? I had public school education myself, in the country, but coming to the city I think you see what a large difference it makes to the subsequent development of a child.

      I have other thoughts on having kids at all so I’m not completely sure of my answer to the above question at all, just trying to give a different perspective.

    • ?? says:

      02:49pm | 02/07/12

      the clock never went off (thank god). but, if i was to have them, i would have done so well before i was 27 or 28

    • James Mathews says:

      02:51pm | 02/07/12

      Seeing as though those death clock don’t calculate where you live or have anything to do with medical purpose tests then they have 100% failure rate.
      This is exactly like the horoscopes that are unrealistic and for you Tory you look so healthy that I don’t think that is very accurate one bit. Hope that all of you people at The Punch live on being healthy and don’t fall for these scams.

    • Emma says:

      03:10pm | 02/07/12

      I certainly won’t using this app! Fertility isn’t tied to just age, there is so many other factors. Certainly IVF has worked wonders but even that doesn’t solve everything! For me at 29, after 6 rounds of IVF, there is still no baby on the horizon.

    • Alastair says:

      06:12pm | 02/07/12

      Maybe someone should have mentioned to you that a woman’s true fertility period is between the ages of 24 and 27. That’s when peak fertility occurs and a woman’s eggs are at there healthiest. After the age of 27 a woman’s fertility is in full decline and natural infertility begins for a small percentage of women at age 30.

      The fact that women can still often get pregnant after age 30 does not in any way mean it is either healthy or desirable for them to do so. And ,like it or not, men know this full darn well and are unlikely to be happy with accepting a partner with declining fertility unless their own option are limited.

      As a girl you were born with a life-script that said you needed to have learned you childhood lessons by 16 partnered with a good man by age 24 sired a family by age 27 and then felt free to indulge in the benefits men who followed their script brought you post 30+.

      But since anyone who tells you that is labelled an evil oppressor-pig out to make you barefoot and subservient, you, and women like you, are just going to have to suffer the results of listening to nothing but the “empowering” lies you liked hearing so much.

    • Dennis says:

      03:21pm | 02/07/12

      Women should be having children when in their twenties. Later is too late.

    • Russell says:

      03:40pm | 02/07/12

      You should always follow any information you receive via an app, and then live your life by it. I’m sorry I clicked on the story, and then on the article above. Time gone I will never get back.

    • M says:

      04:03pm | 02/07/12

      There’s an app for that.

    • valerie of woodruffe says:

      04:12pm | 02/07/12

      My menopause came relatively late but I didn’t escape the hot flushes, mood changes and imaginings I also put on weight around my tummy and when I went to check in for a flight the check in chic ask me if I was pregnant

    • renold says:

      04:35pm | 02/07/12

      Wonder if women and or mothers are actually happy these days. They did some serious research in this in the Netherlands

      Conclusion: Women/mothers there, aren’t really interested in careers and they prefer to work part time. Apparently the Netherlands is the part time capital of the world, women/mothers love it because it gives them more time persuing other things…like being with their children, meeting friends.

      Men/fathers are pretty happy with all this, lots of men/fathers only work for 4 days in order to have time for kids and family etc

      Businesses go out of their way to ensure family life of employees is taking into account

      So are women/mothers actually happy feeling the social pressure being put on them by mainly feminists who want them to do everything and at the same time whining about women doing to much

    • amy says:

      05:41pm | 02/07/12

      don’t presume to tell me what does or does not make me happy

    • Fiddler says:

      04:35pm | 02/07/12

      I was a father at 19 and had my third (and final) at 23. I am now 32 and single with full custody. At 40 I will be able to go to the pub with my son and get bitches together.

      Better than waiting until 35 to have them

    • Lance says:

      04:35pm | 02/07/12

      As a 36 year old childless male who recently exited a 10 year relationship I have to admit to being a little taken aback at the change in attitude from women in their early 20’s and women in their early 30’s. 

      Whilst I would love to have had children, and still hold out some hope at having at least a child in the future, I don’t know that I am comfortable with having a child with the vast majority of 30-40 year old single Australian women.  As single Australian women progress into their mid 30’s and early 40’s they tend to not want children and are focused on money, or are getting increasingly desperate to have them at any cost. It’s the later that scares me off wanting a kid. Me merely being a sperm delivery system, there is too much risk of ending up separated and never able to see your child.

    • Fiddler says:

      06:33pm | 02/07/12

      “As single Australian women progress into their mid 30’s and early 40’s they tend to not want children and are focused on money

      you left out two words. Should read “other peoples money”

    • Michael S says:

      08:20pm | 02/07/12

      The elephant in the room, once again, is housing prices. While it may be desirable for couples to have children earlier, until there’s enough of the mortgage paid off that the father’s income will cover future payments, the mother can’t take time out of the workforce. And by the time that happens, it’s often too late.
      The other alternative is renting; but that means condemning your children to a nomadic life of constant moving and changing schools.

    • M says:

      06:45am | 03/07/12

      I’d love to see what the economy would look like (retail in particular) if house prices were anywhere near affordable.


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