As politicians reconvened in Canberra this week, Liberal MP Malcolm Turnbull was asked how he’d managed to shed 14kg over the summer hiatus.
“I’ll tell you what I’ve learnt,” he responded. “This may seem like a penetrating glimpse of the obvious – but it is an insight that most of us ignore because it is too painful: the way to lose weight is to eat less.”
Let’s hear that again.
“The way to lose weight is to eat less.”
Startling in its simplicity; compelling in its clarity; alarming in its novelty – so novel these days that common sense actually sounds a little weird.
Inspired by the man who would be Liberal leader (again – and yes please) let us today ponder a few more old-fashioned ideas from the University of the Bleeding Obvious…
The way to save money is to spend less than you earn.
The way to remain Leader of the Opposition in SA is to lead the Opposition. (My jaw almost hit the floor when I read this quote from a senior SA Liberal source in The Australian: “Everyone is just waiting to see if the new Premier, Jay Weatherill, is going to get any momentum and expose us as not being up to the job.” Why not just print some t-shirts that read “Liberals: heaps crap”.)
If you don’t want the media to focus on the Prime Minister’s gender, Bob Brown, don’t bang on about the Prime Minister’s gender.
If you’d prefer the police didn’t recognise you on the roads, perhaps drive a white second-hand Holden instead of a bright orange model fresh off the production line at the Bavarian Motor Works.
If you want to live in a clean house, try cleaning it every now and then (that one’s for you, Max, and likeminded husbands everywhere).
If you want your pre-schoolers to be good at reading, read to them. If you want your teenagers to be good communicators, talk to them (and not via Facebook or SMS).
If you want people to like your kids, raise likeable children who know the difference between good and bratty behaviour.
If you want to be viewed as a credible alternative Prime Minister, act like one.
If you don’t want Australia’s food production and supermarket sales controlled by two multinational companies, don’t always shop at Coles and Woolworths – and don’t always buy their generic brands.
If you hate the idea of job losses in Australia’s manufacturing sector, buy products that are manufactured in Australia.
And not too far along that road, a note to car companies: if you want to sell cars in Australia, produce cars we want to drive. Australians like nippy Mazda3s; thunderbarge Falcons not so much.
The way to get a promotion is to work hard in your current role, not by promising to do so if you get a promotion.
The way to get fit is to exercise, with or without eye-wateringly-exorbitant gym membership or ugly dust-collecting fitness equipment.
And finally, if you want people to like you, try not to be a complete tosser.
So why is it that common sense can sound so strangely refreshing?
Perhaps it’s because marketers and political spin merchants are constantly and deliberately diverting us from the bleeding obvious.
It’s in their interests to do so: if losing weight is simply a matter of eating less, the multi-billion-dollar diet industry will itself waste away.
But let’s give Mr Turnbull the final word: we ignore insight because it is too painful.
It’s easy to blame TV shows for your feral children. It easy to blame Kevin Rudd and a fiercely negative Opposition for the fact you can’t sell a message (or stay true to your word). It’s easy to blame politicians for the loss of Aussie jobs, instead of spending a few extra bucks to put Aussie groceries in your supermarket trolley.
Start looking closer to home, people. It’s common sense.
Facebook Recommendations
Read all about it
Punch live
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
Ukraine song pinches chord progression from The Verve's Bittersweet Symphony. Fo real #sbseurovision
RT @GerardDaffy: @antsharwood all the talk over there is the grannies will win.they entered to get a church built,feelgood story
Recent posts
The latest and greatest
We don’t deserve this huge, exciting scientific project
I’d like to be able to say that sharing the world’s largest radio telescope with South Africa…
Mining money talks the loudest in Australian politics
When North Queensland Liberal MP George Christensen got the idea of launching a new political organisation…
Please enter your password
Help! I’ve succumbed to a crippling modern illness that can strike at any moment. Symptoms include:…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments
Michael S says:
"A teacher at Geelong Grammar had criticised her for using words that were too long, which had left her confused and had made her doubt her ability to write essays. She became ''quite distressed'' when her English marks began to fall." I can sympathise. My scholastic mentors conveyed to me a causal relationship… [read more]From: Welfare for breeders is a bonus for everyone
Change Up! says:
I have no problem paying my taxes. As a single, childless person on a very decent income, I can afford it and not have my life severely altered. Plus I understand that my taxes paying for things like schools, childcare and infrastructure is ultimately a good thing. A better community is better for me… [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments
A private school girl’s family is sueing her elite, extremely expensive private school for not… Read more
Most commented