Welcome to a stripped back I Call Bullshit, where we look at spin and scuttlebutt. Today, nudity. I admire other people who have the guts (or don’t, as the case may be) but am not that keen on it for myself. So you can all relax.

Bummer, dude. Pic: Brett Hartwig

And it’s great that South Australia has a nudist beach – Maslin’s – that also happens to be a spectacular spot, and it’s excellent that after a five-year hiatus they’ve brought back the Nude Olympics, a change to jiggle your way to fun and infamy.

But what a crying shame that kids have to keep their clothes on to “deter pedophiles”.

A warning like that almost makes things seem dodgy when they weren’t. It casts a dark cloud over the innocent fun. It saps the innocence.

Police told organisers that it was “appropriate to advise that children wear bottoms to deter any untoward behaviour”.

OK, so it’s their job to be overprotective, and parents are naturally overprotective and so we end up with this paranoid idiocy. What do you say to a little kid, whose natural state is being in the nuddy, when that kid asks why they have to wear pants when none of the adults do?

Olympics organiser Debbie Pillar was on the radio this morning talking about how the move was necessary because there were just more pedophiles around than there used to be. ICB. There aren’t more. We’re just hyperaware. 

And so everyone worries about the man down at the playground with or without kids when they should be more worried about a priest or a teacher or a family friend.

This all leads to this helicopter parenting, kids not being allowed to walk to school until they’re on a zimmer frame, fewer outings to the local park, and an atmosphere of fear that must, somehow, percolate into a kid’s subconscious.

If police really are concerned, there are other ways they can protect kids, surely. There’s already a ban on non-official photography. It’s not Bondi down there, it’s controllable.

Parents, all adults down there for the games, surely, would have their eagle eyes out anyway for any “untoward behaviour” and could quickly and easily alert others.

Having a Nude Olympics then insisting kids wear clothes is bullshit. It’s throwing the innocent baby out with the seawater.

Twitter: @ToryShepherd
Comments on this post will close at 8pm AEDST.

Most commented

38 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • Roxanne Ford says:

      09:22am | 09/01/13

      For a rare change, I absolutely agree with you!  Of course the parents would be hyper-aware.  What a sad world we are making.

    • bananabender56 says:

      09:23am | 09/01/13

      Spot on Tory - I also think there just as many child molesters out there as there was 25 years ago - we just didn’t have offender registers available 24/7 or an iphone to spread the word instantaneously.

    • Michael S says:

      09:24am | 09/01/13

      It’s bringing back an old tradition. In the Ancient Olympics, all those millenia ago, athletes competed naked.

    • Vernon says:

      09:34am | 09/01/13

      Wile I feel uneasy about nudist’s with their kids (I’ll get over it) I completly agree with you Tory.

    • youdy beaudy says:

      09:41am | 09/01/13

      Tory,. Many people see nudity as the natural way as you wrote. There is nothing wrong with practicing nudity. Many people do in the privacy of their homes. But there probably would be concerns re nudity in a public place as regards rock spiders being present. The problem with rock spiders is that they come from all walks of life and i would presume that some may be present on beaches, not only nude, but normal as well.

      What to do about it. Well i don’t know myself. It’s a problem. I think that there should be places where people can feel natural with their bodies and i think children should be as well but there are perverts everywhere and perverts may get off on seeing anyone nude, because it is the mental attitude that is wrong. The religions of the past and even now have to take some responsibility because wherever they went with their preaching and conversion, which is wrong in itself, they even ordered Aborigines who lived nude to cover up making the genitalia some sort of evil thing. We know about those prudes don’t we.?

      If all of us went nude all of the time and just wore clothes to keep warm which is what they were meant originally for then there would after some time no problems with seeing people naked. But, child molesters would still be there. But i think having the society more open in regard to the body and we all have the same appendages then there would be the tendency to be less problems if everyone were able to drop the clothes.

      Anyway, it is a big social issue which is being tested here. In France they have a city, i don’t know the name, but they have clothes optional, which means that anyone can walk in public naked and it is accepted by the French who as we know have a more open society with regard to the body. But in Australia i don’t think it will be broadly accepted. Anyway to finish, i don’t know, and didn’t know that there was a nude olympics. Well, whatever turns them on, why not, we have the paraplegic one don’t we, why not the nude one. I believe in freedom not controls. We are too regulated in Australia to the point where it has become the country of no can do anything. Fun police everywhere. What can we do about that, well, get rid of Government and ditch all the laws still on the books that need ditching,laws that restrict personal freedoms, and while they are there remove the power of religions conditioning over the masses. Religions have with their prudish attitudes have held back human knowledge by thousands of years, but that is our lot isn’t it. Only the people standing up against their authority will get rid of it forever hopefully and that time is fast approaching. Their days are numbered, and it will happen when the people who believe realize that they have been conned and conned well. It won’t come probably in our lifetimes but generations to come will do the good work and hopefully free us all. Let’s hope so anyway.!

    • Wayne Kerr says:

      10:28am | 09/01/13

      This is similar to somethng I’ve been saying recently.  Even in Movies and some TV, detailed violence is perfectly acceptable but full frontal nudity and sex scenes is serioulsy frowned upon.

      If push came to shove,  I’d rather my kids have sex with someone rather than killing or torturing somone

      Seems to me the priotities are wrong and it stems from nudity and sex being made into a taboo subject by society.

      Would also agree that pedos have always been around, we jsut hear more about thenm now and in reality kids are more likely to be molested by a family member or family friend than some stranger.

    • David says:

      12:56pm | 09/01/13

      I’d have to agree with Wayne Kerr. Get rid of all the gratuitous violence on TV and replace it with penises and vaginas and the world would be a much happier place.

    • Sanity says:

      01:48pm | 09/01/13

      The Nude Olympics are being held on a nudist beach. It is Maslin’s Beach. It isn’t easy to see unless you get right up close to the action.

    • Pickles says:

      10:05am | 09/01/13

      My mates little brother used to be naked constantly, and would always tr to climb all over me. Kids hate clothes. It seems mean to make them wear them when everyone else is naked.

    • Evalee says:

      10:24am | 09/01/13

      I don’t know about this.  At a summer birthday party a few years ago, where one would assume everyone has at least a passing acquaintance with each other, several of the little girls (3-5 years old) were running about without clothes on after a splash in the kiddie pool.  And they stayed nude for a couple of hours.  The situation made me uncomfortable and I am not sure exactly why.  If everyone were naked would I feel differently? Or was it just that the little girls seemed extremely vulnerable?  My Aunty Margaret let me run about topless on the farm when it was hot (just like the boys) when I was young.  I remember saying “It’s not fair the boys get to be cool but I don’t!”  She agreed.  So basically, I have no firm opinion but am just musing here.

    • PsychoHyena says:

      12:34pm | 09/01/13

      @Evalee, I think it might be more an issue of who might be passing by. Out on the farm you’re pretty isolated so there’s not likely to be anyone with a devious mind walking past.

      There is also (at least for some males) a fear that everyone is looking at you, waiting to see how you act, though this is probably something I notice in myself more because I have Aspergers and am always questioning what I do in social environments as to whether it’s appropriate/inappropriate, which usually just ends with me finding a spot to sit and staring at a wall.

    • simonfromlakemba says:

      10:46am | 09/01/13

      Those asses in the picture look terrible.

      But yes for nudity!

    • che says:

      11:29am | 09/01/13

      Yes that is generally the quality of arses down at maslins, it’s not pretty. But good on them, go the nuddy.

    • NSS says:

      11:02am | 09/01/13

      I am friendly with an elderly life-long practising nudist, Tory and one thing I know she would say on this subject is that of course the littlies should be allowed to be naked just like the adults. However I also know she would advise that group nudity is best kept to private nudist clubs where the membership can be vetted so that strangers who may not be participating honestly in the philosophy of nudism ie bodily freedom from clothing but in a particularly deliberately asexual fashion ( when everyone is naked, no-one is a sex object) can be excluded. Nudism does not deter sexual relationships between adults in private, but paedophiles are definitely unwelcome. Parents have a right to be concerned about an event where anyone can be present and their intentions are unknown. So, I guess from me it’s ICB on your ICB on this one.

    • Politico says:

      11:06am | 09/01/13

      @youdy beudy

      It is people like you that worry me more than pedophiles. You are the type of person, ignorant to anything but your own opinion, wanting to change cultural and political systems because “you think it is wrong”.

      It is people like you who “restrict personal freedoms”. People like you start movements or end up lobbying fr laws that “restrict personal freedoms” of those whom which you don’t agree with.

      It is evident that you are uneducated, this offends me.

    • Mark990 says:

      04:34pm | 09/01/13

      Did you actually read all of youdy beudy’s post? he/she was promoting the dropping of laws that impede on freedoms, not creating more?

      It is wrong how in the past 10 years governments have taken this greater focus on ‘creating legislation’ and using it as a yard stick for how well they are performing. Just listen to Gillard harp on about how her government has successfully implemented over 100 pieces of legislation blah blah blah.

      Personally I want my politicians managing the budget, providing services and building infrastructure. In recent times however far too much focus has been on plain packaged cigarettes, fines for driving with a phone, censorship of the internet etc… 

      I think this is sort of what youdy beudy was getting at and I agree 100%. We need to stop letting vocal minority groups pressure governments into outlawing anything that isn’t kosher in their corner society.

      Finally, the “evident you are uneducated” comment is such a cop out comment that is so hypocritical given the rest of your comment…. Just sticking up for someone who I (and others clearly) thought made a reasonable point.

    • St. Michael says:

      11:07am | 09/01/13

      If the police hadn’t told the organisers to have the kids keep their clothes on, someone like Andrew Bolt, Alan Jones, or Derryn Hinch would have been headlining the next morning with “Nudist Olympics to be paedophiles’ paradise with children going naked with full police blessing”.

      You’ve managed to condemn the police for avoiding that headline.  Talk about damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

    • Chris L says:

      12:44pm | 09/01/13

      I hadn’t thought of that. The urge for the media to sensationalise everything is unquestionably a factor in the paranoia that grips society.

      I think the only cure for that is for people and organisations to stand their ground, state their case and just accept that many people will read those papers, hear those broadcasts and quiver with delight for having something to be outraged about.

    • Eligius4917 says:

      11:29am | 09/01/13

      I’m surprised that they can still use the name Nude Olympics. The Gay Olympics had to change their name, and I remember the Olympics Federation even stopped the Australian Red Cross Blood Bank from using the word Olympics in advertising!

      it’s probably best for children to cover up. My dermatologist told me the genitals are very susceptible to skin cancer. Young skin, without any pubic hair, would absorb a lot of radiation.I hope any adults taking part use suntan lotion “down there.”

    • Markus says:

      11:44am | 09/01/13

      I assume you’re using ‘hyperaware’ as a polite synonym for ‘rampantly paranoid’ when describing the public’s knowledge of pedophiles.
      Not only are there no more or less pedophiles nowadays, but the average person’s ability to spot one is as bad or worse than ever.

      The only difference is that the default has shifted from assuming nobody is a pedophile, toward assuming everybody is one.

    • Zeta says:

      11:47am | 09/01/13

      Do you think when nudists have that dream where they’re nude in public, they dream of wearing a blazer at the nude olympics?

    • St. Michael says:

      12:39pm | 09/01/13

      Do androids dream of electronic sheep?

    • NSS says:

      05:11pm | 09/01/13

      umm, It’s “electric sheep” they dream of, St Mick. wink

    • ramases says:

      12:33pm | 09/01/13

      I have been a nudist for over 30 years and have attended several times at the Nude Olympics both in SA and in Qld and have seen people having fun without much of a problem. One of the things that has and can deter those deemed rock spiders if taking their photo and letting the Police have a copy in case there is a case to answer and advertising the fact that that is the situation on that beach.  Its amazing how quickly those who don’t want to be outed leave the areas and to my knowledge no child has ever been molested on the beach or at a nudist function to this date. 
        Of course we have those that try and get around the rules but most venues have a security detail well versed in the ploys and stunts used by those who would take photo’s of others without their consent but it is getting harder and harder with the advent of mobile phones and their cameras but luckily most of the places that hold these events, here in Qld at least have no mobile coverage so a mobile phone is a dead give away.
        Its a sad indictment of society when people doing no harm to anyone are preyed upon by those with either a problem or are just plain deviates.

    • Michael says:

      01:22pm | 09/01/13

      Well said! as a life long Naturist I have been following this story & read the “mum bloggers” in the U.S saying “OMG that’s so wrong” & “naked adults in front of children, that’s sick” with the typical comments from the peanut gallery.

      Trust the media to report this in such a way as to create a controversy, Naturist families have been enjoying nude recreation for years & as others have stated it is a close knit community type atmosphere` where everyone looks out for each other.

      Society has this stupid idea that the sight of the human body is dangerous or something to be ashamed of, by making these children cover up up until now has been a non sexual area of their bodies sends the wrong message…

    • Harquebus says:

      01:26pm | 09/01/13

      If we could design our own reproductive organs, I am sure that they would not look like the ones we have now. Nothing pretty about them at all.

    • genuine in grafton says:

      02:11pm | 09/01/13

      Why would you want reproduction organs anyway?
      Often you can find an original working antique that is not that much more expensive.
      The real thing is always preferable to a copy.

    • Vernon says:

      02:12pm | 09/01/13

      Speak for yourself ! Maybe some special plastic surgery can improve your own situation lol.  Personally female goodies are the most beautiful and appealing thing a man will ever lay eyes on ! There is of course a fine line between stunning and negatively stunned lol

    • James says:

      03:55pm | 09/01/13

      Err no… vaginas are not beautiful and I am a man. They serve a purpose and they are “sexual” but no way in hell are they “beautiful.

    • Vernon says:

      06:00pm | 09/01/13

      You must be missing out on the quality one’s James ! Sad really lol

    • Noelene says:

      03:21pm | 09/01/13

      Are you nuts?Why are children allowed to be exposed to naked adults?In my world that’s sexual abuse.What is wrong with you and the organisers?It’s ok for kids to mingle with naked men and women as long as they are not nude?Only in Australia could this happen.It’s unbelievable.

    • Vaughano says:

      04:09pm | 09/01/13

      Yep, it’s the rest of the world that’s nuts, not you.

    • Sanity says:

      04:29pm | 09/01/13

      So what about the kid going into the shower with mum or dad? Do you consider that sexual abuse? Do you consider mum and dad having to get naked in a changing room because they would actually parent and not leave their kids unsupervised, sexual abuse? Those are all times when a child is forced to look at a naked adult. You can be naked without it being sexual.

    • stephen says:

      03:36pm | 09/01/13

      Might try it myself.
      Course, if I fall forward, I might strike oil.

      ps suffer baby, suffer.

    • Thin-Ice Skater says:

      03:39pm | 09/01/13

      This photo looks like an ad for Australia Post.

    • Christian Biggins says:

      03:42pm | 09/01/13

      Ha! This is amusing and its terrifying at the same time.

      My 2 year old wants nothing more than to be naked 24/7. My 5 year old grew out of that and now only wants to change her clothes every other hour.

      This is Facebook banning pics of breastfeeding mothers and your local park closing until they can raise the funds for soft fall. We’re all scardey-cat wuss bags these days.

      If my daughters are naked in public, I keep a smidge more alert, but then, I’m alert anyway if they are in public.

      The world is a dangerous place, but thats no reason to hide your kids away from it.

    • Nudus superbus says:

      04:38pm | 09/01/13

      Let ‘em be nude, I says.

      Hell, I’m naked right now! Never read The Punch clothed and never will.

    • Iggy Crash says:

      06:47pm | 09/01/13

      Best. Comment. Ever.

 

Facebook Recommendations

Read all about it

Punch live

Up to the minute Twitter chatter

Recent posts

The latest and greatest

The Punch is moving house

The Punch is moving house

Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…

Nosebleed Section

choice ringside rantings

From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go

Tim says:

They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]

From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go

Kel says:

If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]

Gentle jabs to the ribs

Superman needs saving

Superman needs saving

Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more

28 comments

Newsletter

Read all about it

Sign up to the free News.com.au newsletter