I do not want sexual relations with these people

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09 Feb 05:45am

Filed under: Barnaby Joyce, Election 2010, Politics, Tony Abbott

Barnaby Joyce’s move to clarify he is not in a homoerotic relationship with Tony Abbott is the latest example of politicians taking us somewhere we just don’t want to go – into the bedroom.

Jon Kudelka's take on the Barnaby-Tony dynamic in The Australian.

Following hot on the heels of Tony Abbott’s foray into the ‘gift’ of virginity, Joyce’s gaffe unnervingly suggests that the Coalition has things other than the management of the national economy on their mind.

For Australians, politicians are a bit like our parents – we innately accept that while they probably have sex, we would rather not confront the fact.

While the British repress it, the Italians exalt it and the Americans use into to get closer to God, Essential Research’s latest polling shows Australians want to retain a clear separation between sex and politics.

Message to our pollies - keep away from our bedroom.

These findings can be understood in several ways.

The first theory, is that we see our leaders as first and foremost managers of the economy – as long as things are ticking over we don’t really care what happens with our leaders. Jim Cairns’ downfall as Treasurer came because the economy was pole-axed and not because he had developed a ’special kind of love for his secretary.’

The second theory is that our dislike of the Tall Poppy Syndrome means we actually don’t expect our leaders to be God-like figures, In fact, the Liberals attempt before the 2007 election to create a scandal around Kevin Rudd’s visit to a nudie bar actually backfired – it made a colourless character appear human.

The third theory goes back to our convict roots – while the American political culture is based on a national story of pioneering a new land to find God, our national story is about being sent to the wilderness because we had done the wrong thing. The last thing we want in our leaders are people who reinforce that we are sinners.

Finally, it might just be that we have a healthy sense of perspective, that the only people that really worry about John Della Bosca having an affair is the man himself, leaving most of us shaking our heads in disbelief when he felt compelled to fall on his sword.

Whatever the reason, the general separation of sex and politics in Australia is a healthy phenomenon, which has created a set of rules that actually make us stronger:

1. Debates about the way individuals live their lives – from abortion to homosexuality - do not generate groundswells of support in this country.

2. Noone gains political capital for digging into our politicians private lives – and therefore they don’t do it

3. Public confessions of affairs and pecadillos do not become media events that rehabilitate the transgressor in the eyes of either God or the electorate.

4. Disclosures of cross-political infidelities (think Gareth and Cheryl) gross us all out.

5. Former leaders wearing white bathrobes elicit the same response.

6. And finally, please note Barnaby, when politicians talk of an ‘open relationship’ with their leader, NO-ONE suspects they are having sex.

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14 comments

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- Joe says:
  
  06:07am | 09/02/10
  
  We do like a leader who seems to actualy have a backbone and believe something though.
  
  Reply
- bec says:
  
  07:41am | 09/02/10
  
  Great. Now who’s going to want to read my erotic political fanfiction?
  
  Reply
- steve says:
  
  08:06am | 09/02/10
  
  sorry pete that horse is dead you can stop whippping now
  
  Reply
- Andy says:
  
  08:10am | 09/02/10
  
  You sound like the “Queen of England” I’m sure most aussies can handle it, and take such comments in the context in which they are meant. As most people realised Abbotts coments on “his daughters” and virginity was not a lecture to young women of Australia as reported in most of the media and by Gillard. This is Australia not Buckingham Palace, go back to your cucumber sandwiches and your cup of Earl Grey.
  
  Reply
- Eric says:
  
  08:37am | 09/02/10
  
  The truth is important for people who put themselves above the rest of us.We may not want to have sex with a pollie but we want them to tell us the truth in the morning.
  
  Reply
- Realist says:
  
  09:00am | 09/02/10
  
  That question from Essential Research was bollocks. That is not what he said, he said it of his own children. The question is leading and is based on a false assumption.
  
  Reply
- William says:
  
  11:56am | 09/02/10
  
  I agree with: Realist says:09:00am | 09/02/10
  
  I personally think Tony Abbott would be a disaster as Prime Minister however the Essential Research survey is based on an inaccurate interpretation of Mr Abbott’s comments relating to his daughters, and leads the respondent towards a particular response.
  
  Reply
- David C says:
  
  12:31pm | 09/02/10
  
  I am getting a real sense that the ALP and their buddies (ACTU etc) are getting really worried, and they should
  
  Reply
Chase Stevens says:

06:53pm | 09/02/10

About what?
- LuckyLady says:
  
  03:05pm | 09/02/10
  
  I was offended byt the “virginity” comment and it had nothing to do with anything I heard on tv. I don’t want hear words like viginity coming out of our pollies mouths. I expect them to have some dignity and represent us in a good way to the world. The sight of Tony Abbott in those budgie smugglers was enough to turn me off the man for good. To me he looks sleezy. I am female and I understand males and some females have a different perspective than me , But surely I can’t be unique in thinking this. I think labor will win the next election, time will tell.
  
  Reply
Steve says:

04:38pm | 09/02/10

Tony was asked what he thought of sex before marriage. It was clearly a trap. Rather than dodge it, he gave a straight answer. This is what he said:
““It happens ... I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question ... it is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving, and don’t give it to someone lightly, that is what I would say.”

He was not telling anyone, not even his daughters, what to do.
Chase Stevens says:

06:55pm | 09/02/10

Christ if virginity offends you how are you on the internet?
- H of SA says:
  
  03:53pm | 09/02/10
  
  @Bec, , I’d love to see you pitch that to a publisher…
  
  Reply
- Phil says:
  
  12:48pm | 10/02/10
  
  Peter
  
  As a great mate of mine says, If the horse is dead dismount. You lot really are worried about losing the election.
  
  Perhaps all this is warm and fuzzy for you Labor/Union hacks, but really it is jurt showing how rattled you really are. You are hurting in the poles and will do everything in your power to change the focus of CardBoard Kevin and his broken promises. That and he has painted himself into a corner on the ETS and you know this.
  
  Tony did not give advice to teenage women on the gift of virginity, he merely stated that if asked, he would advise his daughters. (Doubt they would ask him) He also stated it happens. Not sure what you would tell any daughter you had to do, nor what Julia the Baron would mention either.
  
  Reply