Prev
Next

How to vote in the electorate of Melbourne

Mick Neven

by Mick Neven

24 Aug 05:50am

Must Reads

We don’t deserve this huge, exciting scientific project - this is a caption

We don’t deserve this huge, exciting scientific project

41

Mining money talks the loudest in Australian politics - this is a caption

Mining money talks the loudest in Australian politics

60

Please enter your password - this is a caption

Please enter your password

39

Filed under: Election 2010, Melbourne, Sex Party, Voting

51 comments

I don’t mind admitting, I was excited when I rocked up to the polling booth. I was voting in Melbourne and Greens candidate Adam Bandt was favourite to win with the bookies.

Hot volunteers, strong policies, just need better PR. Picture: Ray Strange.

There was no incumbent, this wasn’t a safe Liberal or Labor seat. No matter who I voted for, I felt like my vote could really make a difference.

I got my first How To Vote card from the kindly old Democrat volunteer and couldn’t help but notice they’d given their 3rd preference to the candidate from the Australian Sex Party. Way to go Democrats. I had no idea you guys were into that kind of Party!

My next HTVC came from the Family First volunteer. Libs second, ALP third, no surprises there, but further down, Australian Sex Party 6th, Greens 7th! What?

Turns out, Family First hate the Greens so much, they’d rather you vote for the Australian Sex Party. Not only that, they put the Secular Party ahead of the Greens as well.

Some young go getter from the Libs saw me taking HTVC’s and took real action to rush in to hand me hers. Labor last, then Greens, then the Sex Party. Fair enough, they’d rather get in bed with the Sex Party than Labor.

Then some Union Heavy gave me a Labor HTVC and it turns out Labor want the Sex Party preferenced third! Who the hell are the Sex Party? I asked the guy behind me to mind my spot and went looking for the Sex Party volunteer.

‘Is anyone here from the Australian Sex Party’, I yelled out. The old guy from the Democrats pointed me in the right direction. ‘She’s down there’.

I looked and suddenly a chorus of angels burst into song. There she was, young, fit, beautiful. A picture of womanly virtue.

She smiled as I walked towards her, and even though I was starting to drool, she handed me her HTVC and said, ‘Vote one for the Australian Sex Party’. In my stunned condition I couldn’t make words, no I nodded, said Uh-Huh and walked back to my place in line.

Yes to Same Sex Marriage. Yes to a Woman’s Right to Decide. Decriminalisation of Personal Drug Use. Royal Commission into Child Sex Abuse in the Churches. Yes to X-Rated Non-Violent Erotica. All worthy policy platforms that I knew nothing about.

These guys need some direct action on getting a good PR person on board. They need to get the message out there. Hot volunteers is a good start, but they need more.

So I voted, I did my civic duty and walked out. On the way the Sex Party Goddess caught my eye and winked. I wish I’d showered before I voted.

Don’t miss: Get The Punch in your inbox every day

Get The Punch on Facebook

Most commented

431Australia, you have nothing to fear but fear itself
390There's no one Thomson won't burn to save his skin
336Animal experiments won't cure me from cancer
313Thomson didn't answer the question everyone is asking
266Who murdered the Arts degree?
246A big day for Thomson, who thus far is guilty of nothing...
231South Australia. It's the middle bottom bit.
231Craig Thomson speaks. Meanwhile, in Australia...

51 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • S.L says:

      06:28am | 24/08/10

      The beauty of democracy is everyone can have a say but single issue parties are a waste of the tree that was cut down to print the ballot papers on like the Sex Party and many of the other obscure entities that polute the Senate ballot paper. Remember the Nuclear Disarmament Party? I have no interest in Porn but the other issues they claim to advocate I agree with but the major parties deal with these issues as well. What is the point of have an attractive girl wearing a T shirt 2 sizes too small handing out their how to vote cards? Does a voter think he might get an invite out the back for 5 minutes? It might work?

      Reply

    • Kate says:

      10:07am | 24/08/10

      How are the Sex Party a single issue party? They support equal representation of women in parliament, gay marriage, oppose the internet filter, support the introduction of R ratings for video games, oppose tax breaks for religious institutions and support voluntary euthanasia. Sounds like more than one issue to me.

    • papachango says:

      10:44am | 24/08/10

      Technically they’re not single issue, but their focus is extremely narrow. What are their economic, industrial relations, defence, environment and immigration policies?

      I agree with most the stances rthe3 SP has on issues it raises, and put them pretty high up on my ticket, but I wasn’t aware of the equal representation of women in parliament. Does this mean they want to force a 50:50 quota? That would go against their libertarian stances on pretty much everything else.

      A lot of these single issue (or 3 to 4 issue) parties are libertarian; they’re formed to oppose some government regulation or other. The SP focus on same sex unions, anti censorship etc, the outdoor recreation party focus on shooting and fishing etc etc. It is a waste of time as all it does is split the libertarian vote. The Liberal Democrats (LDP) are the only ones sho consistency stand for individual freedom across all areas. SP and other single issue libertarians should just join the LDP, though they’d need to drop the affirmative action.

    • S.L says:

      11:43am | 24/08/10

      Kate by their name “the sex party” they are single issue with the emphasis on the word “sex”. As I said before the issues they stand for I agree with and are by no means trivial except the porn argument.
      Besides with your argument of equal representation of women in parliament should it be more appropriate to be the “gender party”?

    • Kate says:

      11:58am | 24/08/10

      @S.L - yeah, I’m not a massive fan of the name either to tell the truth. Apparently they wanted to choose something attention-grabbing so they didn’t get lost in the sea of other minor parties standing for election in the Senate. A lot of those names are quite misleading - the Democratic Labor Party for instance, you have to research them to get any idea of where their politics lie and could make the mistake of thinking they’re something to do with the ALP.
      Unfortunately you can’t call yourself the Equal Rights For Women Anti-Censorship Pro-Voluntary Euthanasia Pro Paid Parental Leave Opposition of the Internet Filter Party. There’s no way a party’s entire platform can be represented in a name, unless that name eventually becomes a brand that is automatically associated by voters with their policies (like the names of the two major parties). I do agree that they could probably come up with something a little less sex-focused, though.

    • Phil says:

      07:04am | 24/08/10

      We didnt have a sex party candidate at our booth in Southern Sydney. They probably felt that being a liberal heartland, they had no chance and could not have any impact on the election anyway.
      Possibly good sorts having out for the sex party may do a better job than fat not great looking ones for the majors.

      Reply

    • Sellabit says:

      07:37am | 24/08/10

      Your vote went straight to the Liberal Party as that is who the sex party preferenced. Who would have believed Tony Abbott would get into bed with the sex party, makes me want to become a lifelong celibate just like my father and his father before him.

      Reply

    • TrueOz says:

      08:48am | 24/08/10

      Sellabit, only the unthinking individuals who cast their votes “above the line” preferenced the Monk.

    • BK says:

      09:59am | 24/08/10

      I’m a bit unsure how Sellabit came to be born. Did mum find them in the cabbage patch?

    • Eva says:

      10:08am | 24/08/10

      Although I voted below the line I did check out the sex parties preference and it put the labor party above the liberals and both below the greens. So in Victoria at least the sex party preference will have helped to get the green senator elected.

    • Kate says:

      11:59am | 24/08/10

      It is possible to vote below the line you know…

    • TrueOz says:

      07:46am | 24/08/10

      Before the Australian Sex Party was formed, one of its founders was told by the late Don Chipp that to launch a successful political party you needed an attention grabbing name. Regrettably, I don’t think that this was what Don meant. The Sex Party has a name that attracts attention alright, but much of it is negative attention - something not needed in an electoral campaign. The party appears to have somewhat Libertarian ethos about many social issues, but seems to lack any valid economic policies. They need to get their message out there (and think about re-branding) - many Australian’s would support their core values - if they could get past the name.

      Reply

    • Boganomics says:

      09:18am | 24/08/10

      I can get past their name. I am all for sex!

      Their policies are pretty much what I agree with.

      I just wish they’d run a candidate in Wentworth. As it was I was forced to vote for the Secular Party and then some independents before begrudgingly numbering the Greens, Labor and Liberals.

    • The Scarlet Pimpernel says:

      07:48am | 24/08/10

      If the Libs had not made a definitive statement against internet censorship, the Sex Party would have got more votes.

      Reply

    • LC says:

      11:00pm | 22/11/10

      No, they haven’t.

      Joe Hockey and a handful of backbenchers have made their opinions known, but there still is no clear party line on the issue. Regardless, the Sex Party would still have my vote unless the liberals at least demoted Tony Abbot to a place where he can’t do much damage. I do not want children being mandatorily taught the bible in schools, just to name one policy he has.

      If it boiled down to all other political parties supporting mandatory filtering and the only ones against it were the liberals led by Abbott, I would renounce my Australian Citizenship and move to Canada or the States.
      For the record, the primary vote for the sex party was higher than family first’s. Pretty good for their first election.

    • James says:

      07:56am | 24/08/10

      The sex party definitely have some good policies, same sex marriage, the abortion topic. Majority of Australia is far too conservative to ever elect them though.

      Reply

    • CJ Morgan says:

      08:43am | 24/08/10

      I wanted to preference the Sex Party after the Greens, but here in the southern Darling Downs they didn’t run a candidate.  I can’t imagine why.

      Reply

    • Hi Ewe says:

      09:02am | 24/08/10

      I believe the Sex Party said lets get the flock out of here.

    • TheRealDave says:

      09:24am | 24/08/10

      I’m guessing it was because they didn’t have a policy on ‘keeping it in the family’....

      *runs*

      :p

    • stephen says:

      11:11am | 24/08/10

      Well i don’t think the Greens’ll preference the Sex Party. They don’t like people.

    • CJ Morgan says:

      02:42pm | 24/08/10

      @TheRealDave - well, there was a “Family First” candidate in Maranoa….  :O

      @stephen - what makes you think the Greens don’t like people?

    • TheRealDave says:

      09:25am | 24/08/10

      I thought Melbourne was always a safe Labor seat?

      - In regards to the article saying it wasn’t.

      Reply

    • Brian says:

      10:30am | 24/08/10

      According to the AEC website the 2 party prefered was 54.71% last election, so it is technically marginal. Marginal between the greens and labor, though, not labor and liberal. As far as which major party the seat would support, it could be considered a safe ‘Labor’ seat, as the greens won’t support the liberals.

    • papachango says:

      10:33am | 24/08/10

      what rock have you been hiding under? The Greens won it. It was relatively safe Labor when Lindsay Tanner was the incumbent but he resigned when Rudd got knifed.

      Since then it’s been widely considered marginal and at risk of falling to the Greens. Remember it takes in Fitzroy, Abbotsford and other luvvie heartlands. We’ve been bombarded by Labor & Green propaganda for weeks. I even got a ‘vote for me’ SMS from Cath Bowtrell on the morning on the election.

      I was sure who to put last and second last between the two of them so that helped. First time I’ve ever put Greens ahead of Labor.

    • Kate says:

      10:10am | 24/08/10

      I voted Sex Party in the Senate. If you look past the name you realise they are not, as some would say, a ‘single issue party’ preoccupied with porn or the sex industry. Their opposition of the internet filter was the key issue that attracted me to their party, but they also support many other socially progressive agendas like gay marriage and voluntary euthanasia.
      I’m glad to hear they’ll be contesting the Victorian state election. If you don’t like the Greens but do support left of centre politics, there’s not a lot of options, so it’s always good to see parties like the Sex Party or Secular Party crop up.

      Reply

    • papachango says:

      10:53am | 24/08/10

      yeah but what’s the SP’s economic position? Are they socialists or do they support a deregulated free market economy?

      I support right of centre politics economically, but also social freedoms like drug decriminalisation, voluntary euthanasia and no censorship of the Internet. No way I’m ever voting for the socialist Greens, but not convinced by the SP either. Voted LDP in the senate - they support all the same libertarian social polcies and are economciaslly liberal too.

    • Peter says:

      03:13pm | 24/08/10

      @ Kate. If they (sex party) want to be taken seriously, they should change their name.

      It would be a national embarrasment to have a ‘sex party’ in Canberra…

    • Progressive means I don't have to think says:

      10:58am | 24/08/10

      From the Sex party’s policies:

      “An abortion may be performed at any time with the consent of the woman and if a medical practitioner certifies that it is appropriate under the circumstances.”

      At what point does infanticide become the next logical and “progressive” choice if we are going to allow abortions at full term?

      Reply

    • Kate says:

      11:48am | 24/08/10

      They do not support giving abortions at full term to any random person. They support abortions at late term if it is “appropriate” according to a medical practicioner. This would indicate that late term abortions would be performed if the foetus was diagnosed with a serious disability that could be fatal or lead to diminished life expectancy, or in cases of rape, incest or danger to the mother’s health.
      I would argue that this is far less traumatic than forcing a woman to actually give birth to a child that is likely to die at birth or soon after, or one which will suffer serious disabilities for its entire life that the parents do not have the financial or emotional capabilities to deal with.
      If you believe this is akin to infanticide, or believe that life begins at conception, that is your choice. If abortions were offered at a late stage, you simply wouldn’t have one as it’s against your beliefs. But many of us believe that life does not begin until birth, and that it is ultimately beneficial to the health of the mother (and father) to allow late stage abortions in traumatic circumstances. Providing that option to those of us who would take it up is perfectly fair. If you don’t like abortions, don’t have one, but don’t try to lord it over those of us who do agree with them.

    • Peter says:

      03:52pm | 24/08/10

      @ Kate.. Life begins at birth? What is that growing in your womb? Surely it can’t be lifeless??

      Your free to support abortion if you like, but that 8 month old baby in your stomach is very much alive….

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      12:05am | 25/08/10

      @Peter- Yeah, My Kidney is alive but that doesn’t mean it should have a seperate legal status…..

    • Progressive means I don't have to think says:

      12:01pm | 24/08/10

      Kate, no-one is trying to “lord it over” anything. In Victoria its legal to have an abortion up to 6 months. But anyone that believes that life doesn’t begin until birth has obviously never been pregnant.

      Reply

    • Bubba Ray says:

      08:42pm | 24/08/10

      Oddly enough just about every time I see somebody holding a “right to life” sign it tends to be a slightly creepy older man.

    • Dan says:

      07:59pm | 25/08/10

      You don’t have to be pregnant, or female for that matter, to have an opinion on when life begins. BTW, that you have such an idiotic username indicates everything we need to know about you.

    • MK says:

      01:41pm | 24/08/10

      I was volunteering with the Sex Party on Saturday and I had a really awesome time. And ‘S.L. my t-shirt was probably about 2 sizes bigger than it needed to be, but I’m more of a comfort oriented person anyway. Same could be said about most of the other people I was volunteering with actually, most of whom were male.

      Anyway, it was really great to be out there giving people some information about the Party and it’s policies. There was a lot of genuine interest from members of the public and volunteers from other parties. Lots of really interesting discussions were had. There were a few people who wanted to have a go, someone told me I couldn’t be christian and have those sorts of social beliefs and some people were a bit silly, swearing etc, but people generally react strongly to things they don’t know or understand so I chose to ignore it.  I believe as a young party, the ASP can only get stronger and I was really happy to be involved with their first election.

      Reply

    • Jason CR says:

      01:50pm | 24/08/10

      Oh ok so the greens won on Liberal preferences…
      Makes it even more interesting to see Bandt run across to the Labor side before any consultation then..
      One would have thought he could have at least played hard to get and maybe obtain more for his electorate.
      Good luck at the next election Adam you peanut, I’m not sure the preferences will be flowing your way.

      Reply

    • Brian says:

      02:22pm | 24/08/10

      I’m sure they will be… Liberal preferences went to the Green candidate because the only other remaining option was Labor. Given the choice between Green (who will oppose them but also be a pain in the backside to Labor) and Labor (who will just oppose them) the Libs will go for the Greens every time. At least there’s even a small chance of getting them to cross the floor on occasion.

    • Jason CR says:

      02:54pm | 24/08/10

      Brian,  Bandt has already made it quite clear that he’s in Labor’s corner full stop.
      He has an obligation for all of his electorate and to run into Labor’s corner without any form of consultation leaves a nasty taste in Lib voter’s mouths.
      If you have a look at Bob Brown on Sunday he was trying to say that they’ll consider anything, yet Bandt wasn’t buying into it.
      I’d much rather Labor to hold the seat thanks.

    • Kieron Atkinson says:

      03:07pm | 24/08/10

      Is it true that the Australian Sex Party are the only ones who are happy about a ‘hung’ parliament?

      Reply

    • papachango says:

      04:05pm | 24/08/10

      On this I’m not sure what their position is… I reckon they’d be on top of the matter, or at least have it well in hand, but they failed to get up in the senate

      ...so many double entendres so little time…

    • S.L says:

      03:47pm | 24/08/10

      I think someone here is a member of the Political Party we are discussing? Just a thought!

      Reply

    • Milky Way says:

      01:19am | 26/08/10

      @ Brian - I hope that’s true because it’s going to make for interesting politics when Grayndler and Batman are taken by the Greens on preferences.

      In that sitch, you’d get three rural Indies, 3 greens and a Wilkie…..a bit more balanced….then just one or the other….

      Reply

    • Rich says:

      04:02am | 26/08/10

      @Mick Neven, I enjoyed your article but I puzzle over the number of words you allocated to describing just how attractive the girl was who gave you a HTVC for the Australian Sex Party. I agree that its nicer to accept a HTVC from an attractive, smiling young woman than from some ill-dressed, ugly and embittered old hag.
      The trouble though, is that it’s caused people commenting here to criticise the legitimacy of the young woman, as though her attractiveness should somehow preclude her from having a right to hand out HTVC. To my mind this is precisely the kind of descrimination that justifies the existence of the ASP.
      BTW I voted sex, then greens, then all non-religious minors and independants before the difficult choice of voting against the major party supporting a compulsory internet filter. FF sat on the bottom of my list, but then I resent their self-righteousness and their wish to impose their religious doctrine onto non-believers.
      If there was a major party saying “we’ll bring our troops home from Afghanistan” then they would have earned my vote for that issue alone

      Reply

    • LymnArrarly says:

      10:15am | 14/04/11

      A Day at Jack and Jill

      Reply

    • daunningolo says:

      09:04am | 11/07/11

      Please one more post about that.I wonder how you got so good. This is really a fascinating blog, lots of stuff that I can get into. One thing I just want to say is that your Blog is so perfect

      Reply

    • thaRiagickutt says:

      12:41pm | 12/07/11

      Best posts that I’ve ever seen; you may include some more ideas in the same theme. I’m still waiting for some interesting thoughts from your side in your next post.

      Reply

    • viagra without prescription says:

      10:54am | 09/08/11

      I am thoroughly convinced in this said post. I am currently searching for ways in which I could enhance my knowledge in this said topic you have posted here. It does help me a lot knowing that you have shared this information here freely. I love the way the people here interact and shared their opinions too. I would love to track your future posts pertaining to the said topic we are able to read.

      Reply

    • Eremnsaisse says:

      01:15pm | 19/10/11

      KOVAL ! why do you only respond to people who threaten to unsubscribe… what about me….Id like a shout out too ....I watched all your videos….TWICE…..i loved you when you weren’t? famous…. *sigh*

      Reply

    • bookmarking says:

      01:50pm | 08/05/12

      Really enjoyed this article.Really looking forward to read more.

      Reply

    • HoinscHicS says:

      08:01am | 17/05/12

      <a >viagra samples</a>  opiates in an attempt to compensate for the common side effect of erectile dysfunction, a combination known <a >viagra free</a>  Numerous sites on the Internet offer Viagra for sale after an “online consultation”, often a simple web <a >womens viagra</a>  so get a prescription and purchase Viagra to revamp your sex life! <a >viagra toronto</a>  a recent history (in the past 6 months) of a heart attack, stroke, or congestive heart failure; <a >when will viagra go generic</a>,<a >buy tadalafil cialis</a>,<a >cialis overnight</a>,<a >cialis 50mg</a>

      Reply

    • knodephohophy says:

      05:13am | 19/05/12

      VIAGRA does not protect against sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV.cheap cialis

      Reply
 
Comment

Facebook Recommendations

Read all about it

Punch live

Up to the minute Twitter chatter

Anthony Sharwood

antsharwood 26 May 12 09:27PM

Dementor doing a good job for sweden #sbseurovision

Anthony Sharwood

antsharwood 26 May 12 09:11PM

Ukraine song pinches chord progression from The Verve's Bittersweet Symphony. Fo real #sbseurovision

Anthony Sharwood

antsharwood 26 May 12 09:00PM

RT @GerardDaffy: @antsharwood all the talk over there is the grannies will win.they entered to get a church built,feelgood story

Anthony Sharwood

antsharwood 26 May 12 08:57PM

These peole insult my grandmothjer, who was born in minsk, belarus #sbseurovision

See all tweets

Recent posts

The latest and greatest

We don’t deserve this huge, exciting scientific project

by Claire Connelly

41

We don’t deserve this huge, exciting scientific project

I’d like to be able to say that sharing the world’s largest radio telescope with South Africa…

Mining money talks the loudest in Australian politics

by Laurie Oakes

60

Mining money talks the loudest in Australian politics

When North Queensland Liberal MP George Christensen got the idea of launching a new political organisation…

Please enter your password

by Lucy Kippist

39

Please enter your password

Help! I’ve succumbed to a crippling modern illness that can strike at any moment. Symptoms include:…

Nosebleed Section

choice ringside rantings

From: They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

Michael S says:

"A teacher at Geelong Grammar had criticised her for using words that were too long, which had left her confused and had made her doubt her ability to write essays. She became ''quite distressed'' when her English marks began to fall." I can sympathise. My scholastic mentors conveyed to me a causal relationship… [read more]

From: Welfare for breeders is a bonus for everyone

Change Up! says:

I have no problem paying my taxes. As a single, childless person on a very decent income, I can afford it and not have my life severely altered. Plus I understand that my taxes paying for things like schools, childcare and infrastructure is ultimately a good thing. A better community is better for me… [read more]

Light weight

Gentle jabs to the ribs

They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

A private school girl’s family is sueing her elite, extremely expensive private school for not… Read more

243 comments

Newsletter

Read all about it

Sign up to the free daily Punch newsletter

Subscribe to The Punch RSS feed