Another highly instructive sex survey has been released out of Britain.

According to a world-wide survey of 15,000 women, Germans are the worst lovers with Englishman, Swedes, Dutch and Americans rounding off the worst five. Spanish, Brazilians, Italians and French were rated the best in bed, with Australians rated the seventh best.
By my reckoning to have participated in this survey a woman would have had to have slept with at least one man from every country assessed.
So say you’ve slept with a Mexican instead of an American or Belg instead of a Dutchman, it doesn’t make the cut.
Furthermore to get any kind of reasonable sample size they would have had to have had sex with, let’s say at minimum, two from each of those countries.
That’s a minimum of 40 men from 20 countries, and they have to all be from countries on the list.
Without wanting impugn the virtue of the women and others who took part in this survey it would be pretty extraordinary if one of them, let alone the supposed thousands that took part in this survey, had slept with a man from every one of the countries and a requisite amount to draw any kind of conclusion about who was better in bed.
So what’s my point? That sex surveys such as these lack the scientific rigour of the national census? Well so what.
Yes indeed, so what.
But the interesting point about sex surveys is our on-going fascination given that it’s so obvious it deals with a subject that is pretty impossible to generalise about and merely pander to stupid stereotypes about different people and nationalities.
According to the defining characteristic of the bad performing Germans was that they were “too smelly”(this is for a British audience remember), the English were “too lazy” (that oughta put a rocket under the lazy buggers) and Americans too dominating (well enough said).
On the “best performing side” we may as well have just said “core those Latin types are hot innit” and illustrated it with a cartoon of a bloke with a rose in his mouth with chest hair protruding through his black silk shirt while dancing the tango.
It’s amazing what we’ll try and take from some of these things.
Last month one was released that showed men who had younger wives lived longer despite not looking at any other factors that might come into play with these men: like they could be richer and healthier.
Others included red heads have more sex, men think about football more than sex, most men have paid for sex: you can find at least one doing the rounds most days.
So why do we read these stories about stupid surveys that we should be able to tell from the outset that are complete bullshit?
Cause we like legitimising ways to read about sex, similar to the way you just waded through this I guess.
Facebook Recommendations
Read all about it
Punch live
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
Recent posts
The latest and greatest
The Punch is moving house
Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…
Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?
I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…
Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”
In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go
Tim says:
They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go
Kel says:
If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
Superman needs saving
Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more
Most commented