Future man: Ugly, lives in trees, cannot use an iPad
Rather than evolving something that would be really useful like an extra 3D lens in the eye or fingers that are better suited to typing on a QWERTY keyboard, we’re going to start living in trees and evolve a hook thumb that lets us grab branches.
This isn’t to detract from the extraordinary imagination displayed by Ryan Hopwood in his vision of humans in a future Earth with less gravity and a different atmosphere. It’s impressive, thought-provoking work that throws a light on some of the challenges humanity faces adapting to whatever changes may lie ahead in the environment.
But after millions of years of evolving in one direction - smarter - even if Earth’s gravity does reduce and the climate heats up, are we really going to say, “Screw it, let’s go live in the trees”?
More useful evolutionary advances might include an extra lens that allows us to enjoy 3D TV without having to look like a retiree who has escaped from Florida. Or a built-in bullshit detector extension to the ear that kicks in whenever you’re listening to a waffling politician, or a social media expert.
Marsupials are on to something with the built-in pocket. Perhaps there’s scope for evolving a small clip on the arm from to which you can attach any accessory, such as the latest Louis Vuitton handbag or your AppleBerry.
Facetiousness aside and, again, while fantastic visions of future humans are a worthwhile exercise, the broad sweep of evolution is towards more brain power, more technology, and more shelter. Apartment buildings with shag pile carpets, well-lit offices with swivel chairs, industrial-scale food production, the development of creative goods and services and large societies working together for mutual benefit are as much the products of evolution as Usain Bolt.
If gravity slowly decreased over time, surely it would make more sense for humans to become a bit smaller and lighter and using ever-increasing brain power to create technologies that address the risks posed by a changing environment.
Hmm. Using technology to address the risks of a changing environment. Hasn’t been much success with that lately, has there?
Maybe Ryan Hopwood’s right. We’re all heading for the trees.
What evolutionary features do you think humans should evolve?
Read all about it
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
The latest and greatest
Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…
I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…
In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…