I don’t hate children.

Get me OUT OF HERE! Picture: Thinkstock

Yes, actually I do, when I’m trying to chill out at an expensive, exclusive resort or equally expensive and exclusive hotel. “Hate” is slightly harsh, maybe “vehemently dislike”.

When I’m relaxing by the beach or pool on holiday at a sublime, tropical idyll, is it wrong to be searching my phone for the number of The Pied Piper to lead little (“MUMEEEE DADEEEE WATCH ME!!, WATCH MEEEEEEEE!!”) screaming Trevor into very deep, rip-infused water?

In fairness, it is not the kid’s fault, the blame should be laid firmly at the rapidly sunburning feet of the parents.

Most kids have the attentive span of a gnat with ADD and become bored quite easily, unless they’re constantly entertained and catered for. What gets me are these selfish parents who take kids to resorts that are quite obviously “couples retreats” and then proceed to retreat from being a parent.

Bored / ignored kid = pissed off other guests. Hate to break it to you mum and dad, but things do change when you become a parent, you may not think it is très cool to be staying at a resort boasting “Kaptain Krokodile Kidz Clubz” but that is the life you created - literally.

What also gets me are intimate, boutique resorts, or the “funky” hotels with bars that turn into nightclubs, which say, “we don’t cater for or encourage children”. They may not have the Kidz Klubz, but they often have kids’ menus, kids’ pool toys, happily provide foldup beds, high chairs etc.

Come on, show some intestinal fortitude and simply ban kids. It’s not like your food and beverage profit will take a major hit. How many fish fingers and babyccinos can little Trevor consume? The positive PR you will generate from your real target market will be worth its weight in mini-burgers.

There are an increasing number of “child-free” resorts around the world, even websites nobly dedicated to listing them, though I find it surprising there are not more adults only destinations.

I’m not talking about those resorts where you get hit on by sagging, amorous, 75-year-old nudists - not that there’s anything wrong with sagging, being 75, amorous, or a nudist, I just find that quadrella somewhat disconcerting.

Interestingly, when I embarked on painstaking, exhaustive research - i.e. Googled “child free resorts”, number four trumpets how “kids stay, eat and play free”. Oh, the humanity.

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    • Super D says:

      06:00am | 24/09/12

      I couldn’t agree more and I have kids.

    • subotic says:

      12:19pm | 24/09/12

      Dito.

      Me & Mrs subotic will indeed be going to an adults only resort in October sans miss 9 and miss 6.

      I get 3 days alone with Mrs subotic a year for the whole anniversary thingy, and I’ll be buggered if I’ll be having any children (mine or someone else’s) spoil 3 days of drunken, naked spa tubbing looking out over Hidden Valley!

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      06:11am | 24/09/12

      Kid free cruises would be nice…..(actually kid free anything is nice)...

    • Not Trevor says:

      06:36am | 24/09/12

      No-one calls their kid Trevor these days.

    • Al says:

      09:57am | 24/09/12

      Not Trevor - of course the name wasn’t actualy Trevor, its was Trea-Vour.

    • tez says:

      03:10pm | 24/09/12

      No the loudest ones are Jayden Or Corry

    • scubasteve says:

      06:50am | 24/09/12

      Toughen up princess.
      Dont like kids?
      stay at home.

    • thequeenofcastile says:

      10:40am | 24/09/12

      What kind of a stupid suggestion is that? Stay home because we don’t want to be around children on a relaxing, peaceful and quiet holiday because children is anything but?!?

      For our society to continue, people must reproduce. That is a fact and there is no room for argument or othr interpretation. In my opinion, a lot of the wrong people are having children, but that’s just me. Still just because you decide to have children does not give any parent the right to inflict their ADHD discipline lacking, attention seeking and down right loud children on everyone else everywhere else, especially when the facility is not child orientated.

      Of course, I don’t have children and never bloody will. So when I go on holiday, I go somewhere children aren’t likely to be, like the Margaret River Wine Region. But if I were to start seeing children there, I soon would not be.

      Yes, there are a lot of children around, but not every single couple are having children these days and soon childless couples will make up the majority of all households, so you would think that there would be a market to cater for these people. Oh wait, just like there is a market for families?

    • Smithy says:

      10:55am | 24/09/12

      @Scuba - you spend far too much time underwater. I like children. They are excellent when served with a spicy sauce, but they should not be anywhere adults congregate, if the words “shut-up” don’t produce an immediate response-silence, then they should be at McDonalds or somewhere else where any self-respecting adult wouldn’t be seen dead.

    • James of Fremantle says:

      11:23am | 24/09/12

      thequeenofcastile - I have been to the Margaret River wine region every year for the last 25 or so. I took my daughter when she was little, she graduates from college next year. My son came too, he graduates high school next year and now I have a soon to be 5 year old who will be heading down again, maybe next week.

      I will be sure to say hi !

      I would never take my kids to a fine dining restaurant, but it is hard to know what resorts snobs go to. They can be hard to avoid.

    • Nilbog says:

      12:48pm | 24/09/12

      thequeenofcastile,

      Looks like a lot of that whine rubbed off on you smile

    • sd says:

      02:30pm | 24/09/12

      thequeenofcastile - are you really as bitter as you sound? Virtually every time you write into a blog, you’re spraying anti-children vitriol.
      At least 80-90% of adults in Australia either have children or will eventually have them. The vocal child hating childless minority will remain a minority so get used to children everywhere you go.

      You know, I can’t stand rude people, people who talk loudly on phones, obnoxious drunks, overly religious people, snobs, women with tats, smartass teens or obese with fattitude but I’m part of a society and when I go on holiday I expect I will encounter some of these types.
      My husband and I are breeders as some of you lot crassly describe us. We pay much more in tax than most of you earn and have never received a cent in benefits so you are certainly not paying for my children. We discipline our kids and shock horror believe in smacking and being punished. We don’t take our preschool age children to restaurants unless they are specifically child orientated/friendly. Any sassy rude behaviour is punished. My kids have been taught manners and are expected to use them at all times. My daughter at the age of 2 and a half can sit on her chair in a cafe, eat with cutlery and does not make noise, wriggle or run around. I have had complete strangers comment on the good behaviour of my children.
      To be honest, I’m getting a little tired of spoiled gen Y brats whining about children and kids doing what kids do. I’m not talking about bad behaviour - I’m referring to toddlers and young children acting their age. I’d sooner be in a resort with young kids running around than with some of you intolerant, self-important prats.
      If I can afford to stay in a 5 star hotel that does not specifically ban kids, that’s where my family and I will be staying thank you. Don’t like it? Too bad!

    • GigaStar says:

      04:55pm | 24/09/12

      thequeenofcastile - take a pill and lie down - your post is seriously shrill.

    • thequeenofcastile says:

      05:33pm | 24/09/12

      @sd - From the sound of it, your children would be perfectly fine and if I was at a restaurant and seated near your table, I would not have a problem with that. Unfortunately, it would appear that you, as a parent who effectively disciplines your children, and your children, as ones who actually do behave, are in the minority. And that, I think, is the overall objection and sentiment; not necessarily ‘all children’, but misbehaved and uncontrolled children as well as parents who are unaware and/or apathetic.

      I would also like to point out that I don’t like rude people, people who talk loudly on phones, obnoxious drunks, overly religious people, snobs, women with tats, smartass teens or obese with fattitude either. And I never called you or anyone else a ‘breeder’. My overall point was advocating free-child, adults-only venues, not the caging of all children; there is a difference.

      @James of Fremantle - I specifically mentioned the Margaret River Wine Region because it is not exactly aimed at ‘families’ and ‘children’ per se. I don’t think anyone could really argue that point. Some of those venues are 18+ anyway, so you wouldn’t necessarily expect to see children there. It’s not as if many have playgrounds to cater for them. But the last time I was down that way, there were a few children around, not many, and the majority of them were still in prams. I had no problem with them either.

    • acotrel says:

      07:03am | 24/09/12

      I think it is really sad when people are so conditioned that they feel they should take their kids with them when thay take a holiday in a resort.  The place for kids is on holiday down the local beach, or in the country riding horses, not where their parents should be getting time out to get their heads straight, and their relationships back in order.

    • Kika says:

      08:41am | 24/09/12

      Or Camping… camping is a great way to take kids on holidays. They get to learn and appreciate what they have back at home when the tent is leaking. I loved it as a kid. Nothing better than sleeping in a tent and listening to the beach at night.

    • Greg says:

      09:17am | 24/09/12

      So because you’re at a resort it means your head isn’t straight and your relationship is on the rocks?

      What about people who want to take their kids and see the world?

      I hate people who go half way around the world so they can sit around the pool the whole time, you can do that at home.  Get out and see the sights take the kids and let them experience something.

      At least that way you and the kids get to experience something different and all the elitist morons can lounge around the pool being boring all day in silence.

    • acotrel says:

      10:12am | 24/09/12

      Greg, you are either a very lucky man or a liar ! Most of us lead very stressful lives.

    • acotrel says:

      10:14am | 24/09/12

      @greg
      ‘At least that way you and the kids get to experience something different and all the elitist morons can lounge around the pool being boring all day in silence. ‘

      And getting pissed and rooting, -  you forgot that !

    • Rose says:

      10:57am | 24/09/12

      acotrel, seriously, what is there to be so stressed about? If you have a roof over your head, food in your stomach and people around you who love and care for you what exactly do you have to stress about? Now f you’ve chosen a career that stresses you out too much, change to a career that doesn’t destroy your sense of well being.
      When all is said and done your life will be measured by the people who love you, not on how much money and power you had, but by how much joy you brought to their lives.

    • VVS says:

      12:51pm | 24/09/12

      @ acotrel

      “Greg, you are either a very lucky man or a liar ! Most of us lead very stressful lives.”

      Coming from the 70 year old retiree who spends every single day (even weekends) commenting on this website… stressful indeed!!!!

      Best laugh I’ve had all day

    • GigaStar says:

      04:52pm | 24/09/12

      acotrel - if your life is so stressful maybe spend less of it posting everyday on this site and more of it sorting yourself out. I don’t see what is so stressful about life. Everything Greg has said is correct and I don’t see any lies in it (especially about elitist morons by the pool - a resort holiday has to be the most boring holiday you can have away from home).

    • Esteban says:

      07:27am | 24/09/12

      Careful, the breeders wil come out of the woodwork…

      ‘how dare you insult us? We work hard to take other people’s money to pay for our spawn!!’

      Ugh.

    • PsychoHyena says:

      09:05am | 24/09/12

      @esteban, that’s okay the non-breeders are already coming out complaining about people having kids… the first shot was fired by your side.

      I’d be more than happy to leave my kids at home when going on holiday, unfortunately finding a weekend babysitter (including family) is impossible.

    • Economist says:

      12:34pm | 24/09/12

      Not insulted by Steve, just that he has to part with his cash. Take Hamilton Island, you don’t want kids pay for Beach club, it’s that simple.

      But Steve is hilarious. Looking at his bio and articles this bloke is a whinger, but he’s also from Goulburn. This tells me one, as my in-laws are from Goulburn, I’d hate kids as well given my experiences and visits to this community wink

    • Sam says:

      02:55pm | 24/09/12

      Economist, what’s wrong with Goulburn? It has lots of nice inmates.  smile

    • Macca says:

      07:33am | 24/09/12

      I don’t get your post. So you don’t like kids. Is that it? If so, do you really need this public forum to make such a profound announcement? If you want to stay somewhere they aren’t likely to have kids running around, do your research properly instead of a 3 second browse of google and choose somewhere on your website that does exclude rug rats. Otherwise, man up and deal with kids. I’ll give you a hot tip, it’s pretty likely that from now until the day you die people will continue having them, darned inconvenient for you I guess but I suppose it’s that whole survival of the species thing. And parents will most likely take their progeny with them on holiday since the inconvenience of toddlers sure beats a child neglect conviction in this day and age. I’d suggest either spending your time and effort finding a holiday location that doesn’t allow under 18’s, or staying at home and away from cooties carriers, either of which will take up the time you seem to spend writing opinion posts that use a lot of words and nice imagery to simply state you hate kids.

    • Chris L says:

      08:06am | 24/09/12

      He did the 3 second google search and came up with one that proclaimed that kids stay free. The others may have been legit, or he may find himself touching down in munchkin land.

      I think part of the problem is the outcry some people have made over child-free places. There’s been at least one article on the Punch about this previously and plenty of people were saying “suck it up”, as if it’s a crime to not want to be around other people’s children when trying to relax.

    • acotrel says:

      08:43am | 24/09/12

      I had a really good laugh a while back.  I was in a shopping mall in Albury, and there was a young guy there with a kid.  The kid was screaming, lying on the concrete floor bashing his heels and his head on the ground.  And his father was almost crying saying ‘don’t - don’t’.  These are the sort of incompetent idiots who are trying to create our future citizens, and the expect others to enjoy the pleasure of observing them in their futile efforts.

    • PsychoHyena says:

      08:59am | 24/09/12

      @acotrel, incompetent? Have you tried dealing with a child with disabilities? No I didn’t think so. Oh, and my son with temporal lobe epilepsy received more injury in a bloody hospital then anywhere else. Why? Because they didn’t believe the “incompetent” parents.

    • nihonin says:

      09:17am | 24/09/12

      ‘These are the sort of incompetent idiots who are trying to create our future citizens’.

      Only because of legislation petitioned by hugtards to be introduced after listening to book educated child psychologists, they can’t be admonished or smacked for bad behaviour,  In other words, boundaries that once worked (without going overboard) were outlawed or made a criminal act.

    • Tim the Toolman says:

      09:20am | 24/09/12

      “These are the sort of incompetent idiots”

      You realise the guy was probably worried he would have been hauled off by the cops had he done anything else, right?  Even women cop evil glares for trying to tell kids what to do in public, let alone men!

    • Peter says:

      07:51am | 24/09/12

      Sigh.  Another day on the Punch.  Tomorrow: Those Annoying People in Wheelchairs.

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      08:20am | 24/09/12

      It’s “Trolling for Breeders” Week

    • qwerty says:

      07:52am | 24/09/12

      Hate to break it to you, but your 4-star hotel in Bali/Thailand isn’t an “expensive, exclusive” resort, it is a popular family holiday destination.

      deal with it.

    • Rose says:

      08:37am | 24/09/12

      Unfortunately people seem to think that they are entitled to their own personal cone of silence where-ever they go, a few days ago they were bitching about phones on planes now it’s kids. People should understand that the world doesn’t revolve around them and the rest of the world has the right to have kids, use their phones and in general live their own lives as they see fit.
      In saying that, there are also some who go around with kids and phones not accepting that they too have a responsibility to those around them to ensure that their life choices don’t impinge upon some one else’s.
      In short, mutual respect is what will keep everyone happy, not banning kids, or phones or whatever else some one decides is inconveniencing them this week!!

    • Beck says:

      07:53am | 24/09/12

      Preach it brother!

    • RagDollCandy says:

      08:04am | 24/09/12

      Seeing the sign “kids eat free” is always a good reason to find somewhere else to dine or stay!

    • Jacinta says:

      01:32pm | 24/09/12

      For many years I worked in the travel industry and all wherever you see a “kids eat/stay/play free” sign, it means that price of said childrens meals etc would be built into the price of adults meals, accommodation etc. It’s like the cost of ‘family tickets’ for sporting events or theme parks spilling into the cost of a ticket for a single person. (A family ticket - 2 adults, 2 children), is cheaper pro rata thank a single adult ticket. Same with family packages in health care etc.

      The other thing which was outstandingly strange was the excuses parents would make to try to get out of paying for something. We had a family book a holiday to Cairns during summer, and it was explained it was the wet season. Sure enough, on their return, they tried to recoup accommodation and meal costs….because it rained (the tours automatically refunded if it rained). NO SINGLE PERSON OR COUPLE ASKED ME TO DO THIS IN MY 14 YEARS AS A TRAVEL AGENT - but several ‘families’ did. 

      Some of the hotels & ‘resort motels’ were realy proud of this brave new world in the market for the demographic of ‘no children’. Of course the “but you’re DISCRIMINATING!!”  outraged parents took to their phones and letters and emails, however the revenue that was lost by outraged parents screaming that they’d “never go there again!!” without the kids was very quickly doubled to trebled by couples, empty nesters, the childfree, singles and business groups more than making up the loss of the family market. Some of the larger state-funded travel organisations (such as QTTC - Sunlover Holidays) produced brochures on such places which were highly successful.

      What was particularly interesting was the number of breeders (I won’t call them parents, because parents don’t expect their over-fed, under-disciplined, over-stimluated, ill-mannered child to be the centre of everybody else’s universe), with offspring in tow, d-e-m-a-n-d-i-n-g to be admitted in, seated and served, etc, to places which were advertised as couples only. They would take it as a personal affront when refused, and could never understand WHY nobody else was interested in sharing the joys of their aforementioned loinfruits. It was like talking to a wall….couples, singles, elderly people had travelled far, payed expensive prices to have the experience of a relaxing adult location and time without the little Chontelles, Tahlias, Brittnies, Jaxxons, Jaedyns or any other possesor of creatively spelt monniker running about disturbing people with their ‘special-cuteness’.

      There was one romantic-honeymoon type guesthouse where the breeders even staged a protest. Signs and all. Of course, the place they protested was booked out thanks to the publicity the protesting crowd had presented them with.

      A couple of north QLD islands were very well known for being private, reclusive, adult only. in 1993, I sent a client to one of these beautiful islands for the last few weeks of his life - he was dying of prostate cancer. He wanted to go somewhere pristine, beautiful, and quiet for one last ‘holiday’. At the time I was making the booking, a mother and her three kids were bitching and carrying on about the fact that there are such places that children are not accepted. This woman turned to the gentleman for whom I’d booked his last holiday and expressed her disappointment in him, and how sad it was that he and his wife were having their last holiday in a place where he would be unable to hear the wonderful sounds of children playing, or see “what they are missing out on!!”.

      My. God.

      As one mother to another, I wondered allowed why she and her husband wouldn’t want a few days on their own? The response was that their child had every right to be everywhere they could go, and at any time. Other people could just “deal with it”.

      So there you have it. The ‘right’ of the child over the rights of everybody else.

      And they say that people without kids are selfish…......

    • Rose says:

      03:34pm | 24/09/12

      Yes Jacinta, everyone believes that only people with children are difficult and miserly customers….NOT!!

    • Qlder says:

      08:05am | 24/09/12

      Just back from a week on Daydream Island and there were plenty of kids running around the place. Even this grumpy old man coped with most of them as they were all just having a ton of fun.
      Did not cope at all when while having dinner in their best restaurant two family groups with tots were put in a lounge area right beside us and the tots started to scream and scream and scream. Who’s to blame, the hungry kids or the bogan parents. They certainly spoiled what was a delicious dinner.

    • Frank says:

      08:07am | 24/09/12

      dude go somewhere else for your dirty weekend simple

    • rory macneil says:

      08:09am | 24/09/12

      Try an upmarket Chinese restaurant in Hawthorn on a Saturday night with two children under three, screaming louder as they got tired.

    • Achmed says:

      08:15am | 24/09/12

      People need to control their kids and show consideration for others.  Instead we get the selfish attitude.
      Bring on kids free resorts.  I pay my money for a realxing holiday, not to listen to some undisciplined parent yelling, crying and screaming at an equally undisciplined kid who yelps and cries and screams when they cant get their way

    • Retired Soldier says:

      09:40am | 24/09/12

      Achmed, you are correct in what you say and like you, I am sick to death of it. I travel overseas at least twice per year and have always stayed at what could be considered quality upmarket hotels. Years ago these hotels only accepted well behaved and responsible guests who didn’t have a tribe of kids with them, then it all changed. The big money was paid to the bogan tradie element who once couldn’t afford to stay in these places but all of a sudden they could. This led to hotels with good reputations being destroyed by the people with “new money” and no manners or breeding. We can also thank the low cost airlines for the favours they have done the feral elements by allowing them to fly. I still go on at least two extended holidays each year but now find I must stay at places that charge up to $1000 AU per day. For this you get well behaved and responsible people. Some of these people actually bring their offspring with them but would you believe, in the main, they are well behaved and disciplined by the parents. It is a sad world when decent people need to fly up the front of an aircraft to avoid the bogans and their “devils spawn” and then spend thousands of extra dollars to avoid them in what were once highly regarded hotels. The other sad part is that it is impossible to holiday in our own country as this behaviour is considered the norm. I would suggest those who wish to avoid the ‘devils spawn” have a look at Liku Liku Resort and Pimalai Resort. No kids and only nice people.

    • mark says:

      10:27am | 24/09/12

      so your point is @retired Soldier, you dont want to pay to have peace and quiet? ok. next holiday should be the Simpson desert, because im afraid to say - OTHER PEOPLE LIVE IN THIS WORLD.
      get over yourselves, dont like crowded planes? charter your own. dont like crowded reorts? buy your own place.
      something is only Exclusive if not many people can have it. News flash - hotels are never exclusive.

    • Rose says:

      10:47am | 24/09/12

      Just wondering RS, has anyone ever called you a snob?

    • Whatever Happened to Parents? says:

      01:41pm | 24/09/12

      @ Retired Soldier

      Amen and thank you! I worked in PR for a major five star hotel chain for many years, and what you say is absolutely correct. The rudest guests, and the biggest complainers, where the guests with tribes of out of control, loud, obnoxious, ill-mannered ‘ADHD’ justified breeders who were continual headaches for not just staff, but for other guests. It’s not being a snob. These people think that simply because they can stay there, they then have the RIGHT to behave however they want, and without consideration to anybody else at the same establishment.

      We used to have some pretty heavy rock bands stay with us too, and they were always more courteous, polite and respectful than the ones with screaming kids running about everywhere.

      Seems that today you can’t speak the truth without being called ‘a snob’, or a ‘child-hater’ (I have children myself), or get told to ‘put up with it’.

      For these people, it’s all about them. Their rights. Their brats rights. And screw everybody else.

    • tez says:

      03:30pm | 24/09/12

      RS Such a snob, hope you never need a plumber or don’t your shit stink

    • Sally says:

      08:22am | 24/09/12

      I also strongly dislike kids running & squealing at dinner - I have children but there is a time, a place and an age where it is apprpriate to take the kids out for dinner. My view point on this has become firmer since having children; if I wanted noise at dinner I’d save myself a couple of dollars by not getting a babysitter & eat at home with my own little darlings. People need to be considerate of others around them & teach their children appropriate manners.

    • Sickemrex says:

      08:54am | 24/09/12

      We only eat at kid friendly places that start serving at 530. Outta there by 630, kid in bed at 7. The reason little kids are turds at dinner us because they are tired. Why put them, you and others through that? There seems to be an increasing trend to incorporate toddlers into nightly social activities, which I simply don’t understand. When we started our family I figured I could handle a could handle a couple of years of dinner at home. Some extended family members think I’m strange.

      As for holiday resorts, I can’t rightly say I remember what one is! I get the author’s point but can’t believe it’s that difficult to find exclusive adult resorts if you’re willing to pay.

    • thatmosis says:

      08:26am | 24/09/12

      Have to agree with the writers sentiment. I now find that when we go on holidays we look for places that are kid free. Went to Cairo and other places in that general direction and stayed at 5 star hotels and the main attraction was that families with children were conspicuous by their absence and it was bliss. No screaming little hubdubs or whining near adults just people of our own thinking enjoying a peaceful rest away from the noise and interruptions caused by little house apes.
        Now if we could get children free plane trips the picture would be complete, or at least parents who actually discipline their little monsters who annoy others.

    • Al says:

      08:28am | 24/09/12

      But don’t you know, it isn’t the parents fault the kids are running around and certainly not the kids, it must be those lazy resort staff not keeping the little rat….ummm darlings entertained all the time.
      (Sarcasam intended).

    • Philip Crooks says:

      08:31am | 24/09/12

      Here in WA a small hotel was up in front of the human rights commission because it advertised as child free and that of course is discrimination.
      Bloody pathetic I say.  I don’t like other people’s children and I don’t want them on holiday or in shops or restaurants.Especially those horrible spoiled ones with “reasonable” parents who carefully explain then let the little brat behave in an unreasonable manner.

    • Tanya says:

      11:07am | 24/09/12

      ‘Tyler, look what you’ve done to the Lady’s dress. Now say sorry, please.’

      ‘Braydon, that’s not yours and snatching is very rude. Return it to the gentleman and apologise, please.’

      ‘Bronte, I’ve told you not to run on the stairs. You almost caused the lady to fall. Now hold my hand, please.’

    • iansand says:

      08:31am | 24/09/12

      Two words - School holidays.  Understand them, avoid them.  It will solve 90% of your problems.

    • Bev says:

      10:35am | 24/09/12

      I can endorse that comment it always figgers in our calculations.

    • MarkF says:

      10:54am | 24/09/12

      Annoying thing is nearly everywhere I’ve worked the school holidays have always been booked out well in advance by people who don’t even have kids.  Doesn’t leave you a lot of choice.

    • Craig says:

      08:35am | 24/09/12

      On the same basis, what’s wrong with
      - men-only clubs?
      - women-only fitness centres?
      - worshipper only companies?
      - white-only classrooms?
      - gay-free clubs?
      - burqua-free streets?

      What is the line between the right to exclude (so only people like ‘us’ can be a member) and the right of groups to be included?

      What human rights should we not get as a child, that are mystically extended to us when we hit 18 (or 16 or 21 or 25 or…) without having lifted a finger to get them?

      I support people with families going to holiday resorts.

      I also support the provision of child-friendly spaces so that grumpy old white men don’t have to come face to face with the people who will inherit their mess.

      No-one should be expected to expose their children to that kind of influence!

    • Joan Bennett says:

      08:38am | 24/09/12

      I remember awful “family holidays” as a child.  There is nothing worse than spending 24/7 as a family (for kids and parents).  A bit of distance keeps things on an even keel.  I don’t remember any of us kids enjoying a single family holiday (and they were beach holidays) and I’ve yet to hear of a parent I know whose children enjoyed going on holiday, so not sure why parents put themselves and their children through it.

    • ronny jonny says:

      09:38am | 24/09/12

      What a sad childhood you must have had Joan. We were at the beach or the lake for nearly all 6 weeks of summer hols, in a caravan and tents. Loved it. It had it’s moments I am sure but being free to roam where we liked when we liked and not wear shoes for the whole time was wonderful. Lots of sunburn and sand in your bed, apart from that you’d be nuts to want to stay at home.
      Your comment probably says more about your own family than family holidays in general.

    • Elphaba says:

      10:40am | 24/09/12

      We went camping every year as a family, it was fantastic.  I’m not so much of a fan of camping these days, but it has more to do with the whole tent/sleeping bag scenario, not the family.

      This year I went on a family holiday with my parents, brother and sister-in-law.  We spent almost all our time together, except for when we were asleep.

      Like ronny johnny said, I think your story is more of an indictment on you, rather than family holidays in general.  You’re not the most congenial of people on here at the best of times…

    • Bev says:

      11:01am | 24/09/12

      We took our children camping once at on of the more regular camping/caravan spots.  It wasn’t fun.  The children were “bored” unless they had icecreams,  attended the local theme park etc. Next holiday we went into the “wilderness”.  No amenities, no shops nothing. The sort of places you need a 4WD to get to.  No probs the kids poked around in rock pools, swum explored and generally made their own fun. Disappeared after breakfast came home for lunch “starving” disappeared back “starving” for tea.  Sit around a camp fire or go fishing with us and into bed by 9PM.  They enjoyed it and were reluctant to go home.  Now they do it with their children.

    • Rose says:

      11:02am | 24/09/12

      There’s nothing I enjoyed more than family holidays as a child, with us lot, Aunties and Uncles and a whole mess of cousins having a ball in a family holiday house. Now I still enjoy spending holidays with my nieces and nephews and their kids.
      I feel sorry for you that it’s not something that you enjoyed, it’s something truly magical that you have missed out on.

    • Kika says:

      08:46am | 24/09/12

      I had an interesting conversation with some friends on Sat night about the growing phenomena of IVF kids, neurosis and over protective parents. It seems that the IVF kids grow up to be neurotic, out of control brats that scream if they bump their toes to which the overly paranoid and protective IVF parent runs to their aid as if they were dying. I’m not criticising IVF, but the pain and turmoil the parents go through in trying to conceive these kids often translates into being overly protective and passive in allowing the kids to do whatever they like perhaps in fear of losing them? Not sure. But I wonder.

      As for holidays - I don’t know. I never go places where there’s often a lot of kids anyway or I’ve never noticed them. Whilst I don’t have children yet, I can appreciate that children make life more fun and interesting - they don’t have the cynicism and bitterness age brings and can enjoy life as it is rather than what it isn’t.

    • Agent Lana Kane says:

      10:29am | 24/09/12

      Sadly it’s not just IVF parents. I think attachment parenting has gotten into our culture so much that you’re now seen as cruel and neglectful if you leave your kid alone for even five minutes and an overbearing tyrant if you refuse to listen to your kids whining and try and lay down some rules.

    • Sickemrex says:

      09:00am | 24/09/12

      I did the local Community Health newborns sessions as we were new to the area and I wanted to meet people. I made some great friends but the sessions weren’t overly helpful. There was a lot about “baby led parenting” and very little about how to start guiding small child into accepting the real world. Maybe some parents never get there.

    • justme says:

      09:04am | 24/09/12

      I have young kids. Loud, noisy, exciteable ones. But they also know how to behave appropriately in restaurants, theatres, cinemas etc. Our holidays are always at kid-friendly places. If we eat at a restaurant that is generally not for kids, we always ask for the earliest time available so that we can leave before the grown ups arrive.

      BUT if you choose to stay somewhere that allows kids and provides activities, facilities, menus etc for them then what do you expect? They aren’t going to sit nicely by the edge of the pool and watch you get sunburned while reading your novel. They are going to squeal, splash, jump and run. Because that’s what kids on holiday do.

      You want a kids-free resort? Fine by me. I won’t bring mine along to it. But don’t whinge at parents/kids if they are allowed to stay there (unless of course they are total bogans - they are fair game in any circumstance, right?) . Whinge at the management who allow kids into a purportedly kid-free establishment.

    • Steve says:

      09:07am | 24/09/12

      While we are banning certain humans from holidays,how about 200kg plus
      people and the ones with tattoos all over their necks.Just sayin.

    • Elphaba says:

      09:07am | 24/09/12

      Wow.  You sound like a peach to go on holidays with.

      Actually, your rant wasn’t much different to Trevor’s high-pitched squeal.

      WHAAAAAAAAAH, no one can have fun on their holiday except meeeeeeeeeeee….!

      Don’t they call this a first-world problem?

    • Mother Duck says:

      09:09am | 24/09/12

      The issue isn’t about the kids, it’s about parents and their apparent inability to control their children.  On the weekend we went for a walk and stopped to talk to a lady with a beautiful Labrador. The dog was skittish and barked at us to which she gently said ‘sit’. And it did. I couldn’t help but think how so many modern parents can’t (or won’t) achieve this sort of behavior with their children.

      I don’t know if it is due to full time child care but parents just don’t seem to know how to be in charge of their children. I don’t mind kids in restaurants if they can behave but parents these days think all if us are responsible for their kids.  parents I’ve observed don’t seem engaged in their role as parents.  Who do you think is going to guide your child’s behavior?

      There seems to be a trendy mindset that modern parents don’t have to fundamentally change what they do now they are parents - hence the toddlers in fine restaurants scenario - but as a mother I have to say you’re kidding yourself.  toddlers don’t belong in restaurants or expensive resorts.  Take them to a park or a playground or meet at friends’ houses.

    • MummaMia says:

      09:09am | 24/09/12

      Sigh..another day, another ” I hate kids” article by the Punch. Its getting really boring guys.
      Queue the “bogan parents”, “back in my day..” comments.
      My kids are well behaved, my Husband and I still like to travel - we are going to Qld in a few weeks and for that particular holiday, we ARE staying in resorts catering for kids, but last year in New York, please tell me where you would like us to have booked ? God forbid we stay in a safe, clean, conveniently located hotel in case it offends anyone ?? For Gods sake..get yourselves on another bandwagon..

    • Scotchfinger says:

      09:51am | 24/09/12

      MummaMia, Steve Williams is way too cool for kids. A toddler would pull off his Aviators with snotty little fingers, snap them and giggle, before peeing on his crocodile-leather boots. Mr Williams would then become catatonic.

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      06:55pm | 24/09/12

      For people with kids I recommend the Port Authority in New York City.Open 24 hours and in a really convenient location. Say Hi to all the beggars and hustlers…..

    • Doug says:

      09:19am | 24/09/12

      Kids who have not been properly house and table trained don’t belong on international flights, at resorts, or at restaurants with tablecloths, and not at all under the age of 11, period. Leave them with grandma.

    • Rose says:

      10:19am | 24/09/12

      You can’t ‘train’ kids on how to behave in public if they’re never allowed in public!

    • Anjuli says:

      09:36am | 24/09/12

      @acrotel I used to think when I saw a child behaving the same as the one you witnessed. Since having a grandson who is high functioning autistic, I have changed my thinking . He used to scream the place down when ever he had to have his hair cut till he was 4 years old . He was so strong in the fury his mum or dad had to practically put him in a head lock, I told them just to let it grow and tie it back . While on the subject of Autism my daughter has started to give him pro-biotic powder after watching 4 Corners dealing with Autism , in his strawberry milk ,his behaviour has improved immensely he now does more eye contact .
      I live opposite a park which the local primary school uses for it’s sports I love watching them and the antics some of them get up to.

    • Yak says:

      10:45am | 24/09/12

      Thank you for your post Anjuli.

      We found a vast improvement in our youngsters when we changed them on to Soy milk. Apparently half of the “tantrums” are due to a crook gut. The other half is because we can’t give them what they need because they can’t communicate their troubles.

      Our boy hated the sound of the clippers. Once we worked that out, a quick snip with the scissors had to suffice. Life with ADD is a daily adventure.

      All the best to yourself and your family on your journey. P.S. our eldest is now 23 and all the struggles and heartache have proven to be rewarding. He is a fine young man, not very social, but he definitely has his strengths; Intellegence and a questioning mind that keeps you on your toes.

    • Alfie says:

      09:38am | 24/09/12

      I wonder where Julia and Tim spend their childless holidays?

    • Yak says:

      11:20am | 24/09/12

      Ha. Good one Alfie.

    • AdamC says:

      09:58am | 24/09/12

      My parents were early baby boomers. Back then, people who had families tended to have more kids. The result of this is that fertility rates were significantly higher than they are today and there were, by extension, more kids around. It is an oddity of Australia (and other high immigration western countries) in our time that we have a disproportionately small number of children in our community, given our overall population.

      Despite this, there are far fewer restrictions on where you can take children than there used to be. Even when I was a child, it was not uncommon for my parents to be told that particular resorts, especially upmarket ones, would not allow children under a certain age (usually 12) to stay there. This seems extremely rare now. I suspect that the change is due to increased selfishness and a sense of entitlement. Parents today are more likely to claim they are being discriminated against than empathise with other guests seeking a quiet, relaxing time.

      Indeed, in my folk’s day, the lead advocates for child-free holidays were the couples with lots of kids who wanted a break from their own bundles of joy!

      Lastly, to those commenters claiming that their children are well-behaved and should not be punished for the sins of others, the reality is that most parents assert their kids are little angels, irrespective of how unruly the little terrors are.

    • Peter says:

      03:44pm | 24/09/12

      Or, another explanation just might be that the Tourist Industry is keen to attract paying customers and not shut out half their trade to satisfy whinging farts like the twat who wrote this article.  Just a thought.

    • angel says:

      10:17am | 24/09/12

      Hmm I’d prefer arrogant grown men and women banned before children. The things people get upset about, it’s any wonder some people can get out of bed in the morning.

    • Wickerman says:

      10:33am | 24/09/12

      Hear Hear
      Its even worse, some parents actually take their children OUT OF SCHOOL to go on holidays. Mainly because it costs less. Therefore inflicting those who take holidays when the little darlings SHOULD be in school. Five years ago my wife & I were on a cruise ship during the school term, there were Aussie kids there - WTF?!!!

    • justme says:

      10:45am | 24/09/12

      Not all school holidays align across states. In SA ours are often different by a week or two from VIC and NSW. We are used to glares when we have our two in Sydney or Melbourne during our school hols.

    • Wickerman says:

      10:54am | 24/09/12

      @justme
      Agreed that the states dont line up. But I take holidays when I can when all states have the kids in school, or at least eastern states.

    • Michael S says:

      10:45am | 24/09/12

      I don’t recall ever having been to a holiday resort in my life. But the principle is the same, at restaurants, the cinema etc.
      Kids will be kids, but what irritates people is when the parents won’t lift a finger or make any attempt to pull the kids into line and make them behave.

    • Suzy says:

      11:49am | 24/09/12

      So you weren’t children yourselves once… I see, you skipped that stage….The difference is that your parents probably couldn’t ever have afforded to take you all to a resort if you are as old as I think you sound…  And now you’ve become a “little bit precious”  and too ultra-sophisticated with age, and you want it all to yourselves.  I’m sure it’s just jealousy and resentment in the case of “couples” like this:  reminds them of what they once were…

    • Nathan Explosion says:

      12:51pm | 24/09/12

      If I behaved the way I see a lot of kids doing in public when I was a kid, all I can say is that I would have been in a LOT of trouble.

    • azzure says:

      01:13pm | 24/09/12

      Children = Gremlins
      Parents of said children = Generally self entitled narcissists.

      I travel all the time and the attitude of people from Australia with children is apparent from the time you walk into the airport.
      My personal favorite is the parent who uses the child as an express pass to every line that ever existed and then proceeds to get loud and aggressive when politely told that this line (although clearly marked) is for business passengers. Without fail it is the accent and baggy clothing that gives them away as Australian, whilst all the other families are queued up quietly.

      ^ The above attitude extends to driving (baby on board stickers are a sure sign that the car is going to try cut in front of you without looking), shopping (I wonder sometimes if the baby is trained to cry as soon as they get to the checkout line so that some bleeding heart lets the go in front) and my all time favorite is the car parked next to yours with the door wide open and a nice dent even though there are free spaces all around!

    • What the? says:

      01:19pm | 24/09/12

      Bloody hell.  I don’t have kids myself but I see them as part of our society.  Are we back in Victorian days when children should be seen and not heard?  Seems they should not even be seen…  Children CAN be annoying (especially when not properly supervised and controlled by their parents) but so can loud mouths, people speaking on mobile phones and people listening to earphones that don’t block out their music.  But hey, we have to all get on, and at the end of the day, if families pay up, they have as much right to be there as other annoying, selfish nuisances.  Isn’t that what capitalism is all about? And my hope is that those children don’t grow up to display the same anti-social tendencies as many ‘grownups’ display.

    • craig3 says:

      01:34pm | 24/09/12

      Perhaps we shoud also ban children from posting on ‘The Punch’.

      Oh, hang on a minute….................

    • Nutsy says:

      04:44pm | 24/09/12

      Try being a teacher!

    • bloke says:

      05:09pm | 24/09/12

      those who complain about kids making too much noise etc.. in public places, vacation spots etc…should shut up. i recently came across a child at a resort that couldn’t or wouldn’t sit down and screamed constantly. it wasn’t that his parents had no idea about how to bring him up, it was that he had a disability, and in pain all the time.  i don’t have any kids, but it made me stop making assumptions about so called bratty chilldren. sure, there are bogans that have no idea about looking after children, but, like this couple, not everyone. these parents were very stressed as the child had to be looked after full-time. i spent 2 hours with him and was afraid/stressed to let him out of my sight just in case something happened to him, he couldnt sit still and ran all over the place yelling.  i didnt know this couple prior to this trip, but i wasnt going to care about a little mucking about and noise when this couple hadn’t had a trip anywhere in 7 years. what are they going to do, lock the child in a room for 18 years??? don’t assume all parents have feral children, some have children with special needs and shouldn’t be put in the bogan out of control breeder category.. think about that next time you roll your eyes at them or complain.

    • Em says:

      07:40pm | 24/09/12

      I think the point is that sometimes, some/most of us, would like to arrange a holiday that we’ve saved our money damn hard for, without our kids, and to have adult time.  I don’t spend the time finding babysitters, begging and pleading, just to turn up somewhere who has taken my hard earned savings, just to be bombarded with absolutely crap behaviour from kids (and parents) who have no idea about basic manners.  The bliss - just me, hubby and the many other adult couples that might be there.  Do I love my kids?  Damn right I do - but you know what sometimes I want adult time, adult conversation etc without having to hear the constant noise that goes with kids.  And those bashing those without kids - just stop it. I’ve had 3 kids and now they’re older I can’t imagine anything worse than listening to constant toddler/under 10 chatter while I’m taking out time from my bloody busy life to have a break from it all….it’s nothing to do with those with/without children and what they can cope with - it’s just human!!

 

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