You’d be laughed out of town if you said that you’d moved to regional Australia for the hustle and bustle, so why do people who live in big cities spend so much time complaining how noisy it is.

Melburnians want buskers like Liam Osborne to pipe down. Picture: Andrew Brownbill.

Message to city-dwellers: when you choose to live in a metropolis there’s a few things that you must accept.

a) It’s never going to be easy to find a parking spot. b) You’re probably going to have a frustratingly small wheelie bin that will be stolen more than a handful or times and, c) It’s never, never, ever, ever going to be quiet. Never.

You’re going to hear sirens, hoons, trucks, rumble of rush hour, children playing on the street, neighbours having a party, neighbours having a fight. Aeroplanes, buses, motorbikes, swimming pool dins, car doors, car horns, swearing, garbage trucks, trams, barking dogs and more. Cities are noisy.

So why is it that despite the very obvious nature of these noises, there are some people who remain intent on complaining about them, at great length?

The good people of Melbourne have provided the most recent example of this kind of whingeing, having nominated the lowly busker, singing or playing the banjo on the street corner, as the most noise-aggravating thing in their urban environment.

The Herald Sun reported last month:

“The street musos, along with spruikers, are proving more annoying than rowdy nightclub revellers, building works and even industrial machinery.”

They’ve also been the subject of 162 complaints to the City of Melbourne over the past twelve months; beating potentially more obviously “noisy”  things like loud garbage trucks (66 complaints) and barking dogs (72 complaints), hands down.

Perhaps Melbourne’s buskers are just really, really bad. Or they’re good but choose to do lots of boho-chic Bob Dylan impersonations.

While the noise generated by pubs and restaurants were ranked second on Melbourne’s list of urban gripes it was also the “most improved” category, dropping from the 150 complaints reported in 2009 to 90 this year.

But I think they’ve left out a crucial part of this test and that’s evaluating noise levels “inside” city pubs and restaurants.

Think about it. What’s the first thing that you remember about your most recent trip to a pub or restaurant? Is it the food you ate, the company you shared, the hangover you endured or was it just how much time you spent having to repeat yourself and shout over the crowd/music/floorboards.

For me it’s almost always the latter. Thanks to the proliferation of hardwood floors in these kind of premises, it’s literally getting harder and harder to hear anyone.

According to George Prochink at The Daily Beast, French researchers say increased noise levels are also responsible for making everyone drink more too.

“A study completed in the summer of 2008 in France found that when music was played at 72 decibels, men consumed an average of 2.6 drinks at a rate of one drink per 14.51 minutes. When the sound level was cranked up to 88 decibels, the numbers spiked to an average of 3.4 drinks, with one consumed every 11.47 minutes. Reasons for this acceleration may include an increase in ambient energy, and a consequent increase of difficulty in talking, which makes it easier to just signal the bartender for a refill than to engage in conversation. It may also be explained by actual changes in brain chemistry.”

It also looks to be a trend that’s not going to go away in a hurry as Prochink discovered after a recent and “shouty” lunch date with one of Manhattan’s top restaurant designers; a man who claims the greater the level of noise in a restaurant, the more confident the owners can be of how “successful” it will be. He told Prochink:

“People don’t want a space that’s really dead quiet, because that feels empty. And if it feels empty, it’s not going to feel successful. It’s not going to feel fun. You know, noise makes a place feel like it’s got a buzz.”

Given the increasing competition about all things food, that’s not exactly good news for anyone looking for a “quiet” night out on the town and it will certainly spell the end of enjoying a catch-up with friends and actually being able to have a conversation.

20 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • T.Chong says:

      08:40am | 10/05/10

      Maybe the amount of city based whingers equal their rural counterparts.?
      How many rural folk whinge about lack of public / private infrastructure ?
      If you live in the bush (not large regional centers like Dubbo, Albury-Wodonga,etc) you should not complain about the local hospital not having the latest MRI scanner, or a 24hr Neuro surgeon insitu. If a large corporation (bank , postal office, school) leaves thru lack of numbers to make the scheme / service worthwhile, then you also should shut up, as what good conservative expects an unprofitable service to be laid on for very few ?
      People whinge, city or countrty, young or old, rich or poor , even when walking into a situation with both eyes open.

    • Adam Diver says:

      11:26am | 10/05/10

      Yeah but if you whinge in the country and no-one is there to hear it…

    • Helena Handcart says:

      04:27pm | 10/05/10

      Oh Adam, don’t you believe it.  I’ve been at social functions locally where the whinge has been the lingua franca.

    • Craig Lambie says:

      08:59am | 10/05/10

      I have to agree with you Lucy.
      If you move to the city, then don’t whinge about the noise!

      I have lived in little bourke st, for over 8 years, and the reason I live here is due to the hussle and bussle.  I have had construction sites, sirens, trucks, trains etc.  Never once have I complained about noise, this is the city! 
      If you want peace and quiet then move to the damned suburbs where people are so boring they don’t make any noise, they just live out their lives waiting to die from being in such a boring horrible place.  Or even better move to the country, then you won’t even have neighbours to complain about, maybe become a hermit.

      On noisy bars, well it is any wonder the publicans are turning the noise up, especially when statistics like that are around.  Of course they want you to drink more! This is a great way to do it.
      As to having a conversation with your friends, it is your choice to go to “that” venue over another one.  There are plenty of options for venues that don’t try to deafen you, or you can always catch up for dinner before/after heading out and have your conversations then.  While you’re in the bar/club just look good and “be seen”, no point trying to have a conversation, unless you want to lose your voice.

    • Benni says:

      10:20am | 10/05/10

      Well, I live in the middle of Brisbane and my major noise nuisance come from our feathery neighbours.  Crows and Kookaburras at 5am are detrimental to sleep.

    • dancan says:

      01:31pm | 10/05/10

      mine’s the possums barking at each other before they fight and one falls out of the tree.  Stupid possums

    • stephen says:

      10:30am | 10/05/10

      In Brisbane it is not the noise pedestrians complain of, but the charity workers. There’s a lot of them on the city streets. I don’t mind them, but some letters to the local paper have expressed frustration at walking in Brisbane. Here’s a solution : if you don’t want to give, be polite and keep moving. (Politely.)

    • Elphaba says:

      10:57am | 10/05/10

      I don’t know about anyone else, but I get deaf the more I drink.

      So yes, if you play loud noise near me, I’m likely to drink more.  And talk louder.

      As for buskers, good on them.  I always wished I was musically talented. At least they’re providing entertainment in the hopes of a few bucks - unlike the homeless…

    • Sam says:

      12:51pm | 10/05/10

      Noise pollution, that’s annoying.

      At Victoria market, I’m ok with the hustle and bustle of the fruiterers. In a busy area like Bourke St mall, I’m ok with a little extra noise from an over-exuberant busker. On a tram, I’m NOT ok with foreign languages and teenage conversations flooding into my mind and robbing me of the ability to dwell on my own thoughts. Some people are just rude and uncivilised, though most of them are commonly regarded as “normal people”.

    • Hel says:

      10:06am | 11/05/10

      Yes those rude people speaking in another language really get my goat (why can’t they speak english, and save their silly talk for behind closed doors?). And don’t get me started on teenagers having a conversation. They’re YOUNGER than me! They should sit quietly and reflect on their future prospects. They just don’t understand that a tram is like a library. Where do they think they are? Public transport?

    • Sam says:

      01:10pm | 11/05/10

      It is possible to have a conversation on any topic and in any language without disturbing those beyond a certain distance.

      It’s not public transport, it’s a zoo packed with boring animals like sheep and cattle.

      The worst offenders are young professional women on mobile phones. A more selfish and conceited species has yet to be discovered. Who cares what you’re going to wear tonight… with that voice and that arse… oh god… please spare us the mental images.

    • james says:

      01:14pm | 10/05/10

      all the other noises like cars, horns, etc blend into one white noise. buskers play some annoying tune that doesn’t fit. its very annoying and they should shut up.

    • Jen says:

      01:39pm | 10/05/10

      For noise- try earplugs-works for me. The worst nuisance is cigarette and diesel fumes- I think I’ll have to wear a burqa with a clear vinyl eyeslit and an oxygen tank soon as I am allergic to both and the streets are full of these disgusting stenches.

    • Gavin says:

      02:21pm | 10/05/10

      There’s always the suburbs…

    • Kylie says:

      03:06pm | 10/05/10

      Nice piece. If you can’t stand the heat, don’t buy into the kitchen. We live on the edge of inner-city Melbourne and I find the noise to be part of the charm- you get used to it, and I like the sensation of life going on all around me. That said, we’re currently having a year’s break in far north-west WA… so maybe I’ll change my mind when we come back. All I hear here is frogs.

    • Graeme says:

      03:56pm | 10/05/10

      Whinge whinge whinge. Adelaide dies at 5:00pm and becomes as quiet as a graveyard

    • Frank says:

      04:55pm | 10/05/10

      thats because its for old folk…..

    • Sean says:

      01:55am | 11/05/10

      I never ‘moved to the city’. I was born here. So i’ll complain all day long. Morons from the suburbs, bush and other countries need to respect the traditional owners of the urban jungle(me). Although I’m not even 30 yet, I remember a time when Sydney was only 3 million people. Those were the days. Traffic was bad, not awful. Things were noisy, but not deafening. Or was i just much less sensitive to it all as a child? Either way, shut up please or go back to your own suburb/rural town/country. K thanks.

    • Tim Hendrix says:

      11:13am | 11/05/10

      At Victoria markets, I’m absolutely fine with buskers, however, I am NOT fine with buskers with amplifiers, and I’m especially not fine with those f*cking South American pipe and guitar bands who blast out their annoying Incan version of the frikking Lambada song through a pair of 100W speakers.
      How come they are allowed to do that? It’s a public space and the music, if you can call it that, is deafening.
      If I were to stand there with a cover band playing rock songs at that volume I would be told to stop. By all means play your music (though personally I would Ban Aztec Music), the amplifiers should be outlawed.
      That way they would only be heard by people who are standing next to them, who actually wanted to listen.

    • Paranoia says:

      10:07pm | 11/05/10

      I’d always thought buskers couldn’t have amplification, but it seems they do here in Brisvegas too.  I actually live on the fringe of Ipswich CBD… and I don’t mind a bit of noise and people having a good time.  I object to screaming out obscenities outside my door at 3am, and the vandalism, littering, broken glass on the footpaths and fear of having one of these “people” decide they want to break in or possibly just randomly burn down my house…

 

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