Here’s 16 unpleasant things we should leave in 2012
Yet again it’s that time of year when having over-eaten, over-drunk, over-spent and generally over done it in the last few months you’re supposed to open a fresh Word document and draft up a blueprint for The New You.
After one last hurrah tomorrow night, it’s all going to change.
You’ll exercise more, sleep more, home-cook more and concentrate more on the things that count: seeing family and friends, making time for other people, giving more, really experiencing the moment instead of rushing crazily about (possibly due to the fear of missing out).
In short, I reckon what a lot of us are really shooting for when we make our so-called “resolutions” is a more authentic-feeling life.
Less time spent on meaningless trivia, less getting distracted by trashy shiny things, less social-media inspired angst about stuff like whether the person on the next iPhone is right now putting up a far more exciting post on their (more popular) Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr or Pintrest account.
In fact, I reckon a good motto for 2013 could be all you need is less.
And on a serious note, here’s some stuff I reckon most Aussies would have a richer year without:
* Toxic personal insults pouring out of the telly from Canberra (and flushing the tone in comment streams online beyond the gutter and into the sewer).
* “Gender wars” (I think we established in 2012 that the old song lyric “War, what is it good for, absolutely nothing hasn‘t lost its relevance).
* Driver versus cyclist aggro—which got bad enough here in Melbourne this year for some (including me) to hang up their ride.
* New parenting trends which involve even more self-sacrifice and obsessive child-coddling than the many in fashion this year.
* Scare tactics by the anti-vaccination lobby, or credibility given to them.
* Pounding of the family budget but factors such as greedy banks not passing on the full amount of rate cuts, and unjustified utility price-hikes.
* Social media platforms. We already have so many it’s hard to find time to live enough fresh life to fill all your accounts!
And since many of us are on holidays, and in the mood for fun, here are some of the sillier things I think we could live quite happily in 2013 without:
* Even a single story on Jennifer Aniston’s fertility status.
* All magazine front pages with headings including “Too thin?” or “What Stars Really Eat To Lose Their Baby Weight”, or “My Body Battle”.
* Any advice about how to raise a baby or child as happy and healthy as theirs by celebrities with a personal staff, including a nanny and chef.
* All new celebrity perfumes. As any tram commuter will tell you even one is usually too much.
* Any article on how to be a good wife, or good woman by the “Other Women Hate Me Because I Am Too Pretty” and “Independence? A Career? Who Needs Them! (A husband who prizes your looks, not your mind is the key to a happy marriage)” author, UK pest Samantha Brick. [Ed. note: If you missed Ant Sharwood’s pisstake of Brick’s column earlier this year, click here]
* Any more information on how perfect Nicole Kidman’s relationship is. Alright already, you win at marriage!
* Suri-watch…I think that child deserves a paparazzi amnesty of the whole year, though I very much doubt she’ll get one.
* Kim-watch. The longest-lashed Kardashian probably doesn’t want even a day’s paparazzi amnesty but the rest of us sure need her to have one.
* Any exploitative reality show starring a woman who doesn’t realise that the real reason her life made it to TV is so she’s the butt of a million water-cooler jokes. Enough!
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