In case you missed the news, there was a mass breakout at the Inverbrackie detention centre yesterday.

Kids picking fruit. It's practically un-Australian. Pic: Alice Prokopec.

The controversial site, home to asylum seeker families, has been the source of local fears. Many are concerned about espionage, terrorism, and plummeting property prices.

The escape, however, shows that what they should really be worried about is plum pickers.

Ten children scaled a 3 metre fence to pick plums.

Federal Liberal MP Jamie Briggs, upon hearing of the breach of security, said the fact that children scaled an internal fence showed a concerning lack of preparedness by the Government.

He called on centre management, contract security, Immigration Minister Chris Bowen and the Government to ensure similar incidents did not occur.

So far, no one has dared wonder what would happen if these plum-picking minors got over an external fence and into the outside world.

The Adelaide Hills surrounding Inverbrackie are teeming with all manner of tempting fruits.

The cool climate lends itself to copious apple, pear and cherry orchards.

There are stone fruits and quince trees ripe for the plucking. Within months there’ll be acres of sweet, juicy grapes.

The reaction from the community has been mixed, with some online commentators pointing out that the asylum seekers have a history of sneaking across borders.

They were quick to identify the clear similarities between this incident and Prime Minister Julia Gillard’s border protection policies.

Some have pointed out that by showing their willingness to scale fences, make a little bucket with the front of their clothes, and pick fruit to take back to their families, they have shown just how different they are.

Trangressions like that are seen as proof they would not fit in to Australian society.

It does appear that if these children are willing to pluck a few plums, they may not be averse to illegally sampling grapes or cherries in the supermarket.

“Identify the culprits and deport them,” said one web pundit. “They have been given more than they should be getting and they want even more,” said another.

The Immigration Department was forced to defend their glaring laxness.

“It was a misunderstanding and the kids thought they could go there and they can’t, obviously,” a department official said.

“They scaled an internal fence, so at no time were they outside.

“Obviously we take all breaches of security seriously, but this was just a few kids picking fruit.”

Phew. At ease, people.

Most commented

52 comments

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    • nosthow says:

      11:17am | 30/12/10

      Geez Tory I hope the good old Rednecks Abbott and Morrison have been advised of this breakout so they can make some political mileage from it ! I have never seen an Opposition so full of dumbwits and nutters as Abbotts and his Opposition are. In fact have a listen to this little clip where Paul Keating struggles to sum up these lowlifes on the ABC- they should be ashamed of themselves Tory. Unelctable now and in the future !
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0_BSI6GrZw

    • dovif says:

      01:44pm | 30/12/10

      Only one party’s policy had led to death of people, by encouraging them to come in leaky boats to Australia, the legislation with led to people dying on open sea was written by Julia Gillard

      No Boats = no death at sea

    • Gregg says:

      04:06pm | 30/12/10

      Come now, I thought the lostnow days may have behind you but using a return to Eden pick a plum treat to regurgitate the original sleaze bag himself is a dead give away you’ve well and truly lost it.
      Do you reckon the Indo Paul Piggy farm could offer asylum to a few over that way.

    • jeffb says:

      04:06pm | 30/12/10

      Im with you dovif, I’d much rather these people died in their own country so I wouldn’t have to hear about it.

      While we’re banning boats lets also ban cars, the scourge of our roads.

    • CynicalGoatWA says:

      04:52pm | 30/12/10

      Surprise surprise. Nosthow is the first comment and he ONCE AGAIN pans Abbott.

      And we once again resume normal programming…..

    • nosthow says:

      06:54pm | 30/12/10

      @CynicalGoatWA - ullo fella all the way from WA - not a bad little state is it. Hows Lang Hancock going over there these days ?

    • CynicalGoatWA says:

      07:33pm | 30/12/10

      Aaahh nosthow, WA is travelling beautifully thanks for asking. A conservative State government and things have never looked better. Lang Hancock on the other hand shows as much sign of life as your mate Joolls and her poor excuse of a “government”.

    • Robert Smissen, rural SA, God's own country says:

      10:36pm | 30/12/10

      What if they had kept going, what if they had been adults? Just because nothing happened THIS TIME, doesn’t mean that everything is OK. Maybe they were just testing this time

    • the guy before costello says:

      11:04pm | 30/12/10

      Geez Tory I hope that good old Redneck nosthow has been advised of this breakout so he can make some ranting political post from it ! I have never seen a contributor to punch be such a dumbwit and nutter as nosthow is. In fact have a listen to this little clip where Paul Keating struggles to make any sense of himself let alone joolya foolya (well she only fooled her own which is kinda ironic)- he should be ashamed of himself Tory. He is a bitter crazy wild man now and in the future!

    • Cathing up says:

      08:10am | 31/12/10

      “No Boats = no death at sea

      No, only no future wherever they where stranded.  No work, no education or future for thei children. Living in detention without hope for years becomes a little daunting.

    • Catching up says:

      08:19am | 31/12/10

      “Just because nothing happened THIS TIME, doesn’t mean that everything is OK. Maybe they were just testing this time ”

      Why would these people flee or be a danger unless they have not been accepted for a visa.  I believe the people who miss a visa are not in these camps.  The truth is that they would find it impossible to hide if they so called “escaped”.  Surprising these people generally go on to be worthwhile Australians that add greatly to our economy and culture. I really feel for you if you are so scared of shadows.  I suggest you keep your fear for real dangers, such as crossing busy road or slipping in your bath.

    • Gregg says:

      09:48am | 31/12/10

      @ Catching Up
      Re: ” I believe the people who miss a visa are not in these camps. “
      Inverbrackie is for families with children so as they will supposedly not be in detention and why would they be behind fencing if they had already been assessed and and were not of those ” who miss a visa ”
      Get some facts if you can and you may find this is just another exercise because Xmas Island detention is bursting at the seams and proper assessment does take time and even assessments taking time will likely be half baked for how many people do you reckon Immi or ASIO will have available to go checking out whatever stories get spun.

      Gillard/Bowen have just got a system spinning out of control and again, how do you know what the level of contribution to Australia will be for this is nothing like Vietnam boat people who btw did not have the money to use people smugglers and were actually being rejected by other countries enroute, the same countries assisting the people smugglers and people using them now.

      We have thousands of Australians doing it tough in Australia because of fires, drought and now massive floods, all long time members of our communities who are more deserving of a leg up than the free loader types now being accommodated.

    • jf says:

      12:25pm | 31/12/10

      Maybe so maybe not nosthow.

      However, can you explain why there are still refugees behind security fences given that the ALP was so vehemently against it when the coalition was in Government?

    • Welcome them says:

      11:18am | 30/12/10

      Why waste money on the security fence when the asylum seekers are a low security risk and have come here for a better life? Better to spend the money on improving health and educational facilities in the Woodside area, which will benefit both the asylum seekers and locals.

    • MarK says:

      03:36pm | 30/12/10

      Or how about we build stuff that works as intended.

      Like roof insulation that doesn’t burn down houses and destroy lives and businesses.

      Or school halls that are built to a decent budget.

      Or a Green loans scheme that works.

      Or a loan scheme for Aboriginals that lend $3 odd million but costs $10 million to administer.

      You know stuff like that.

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      04:15pm | 30/12/10

      @MarK - that would require Australians who don’t rort the system. Never gonna happen. Not in a million years…..

    • Robert Smissen, rural SA, God's own country says:

      10:39pm | 30/12/10

      Shane from Melbourne/Mexico. Aussies will only rort the system if the system is SLACK & poorly administered

    • The Badger says:

      11:20am | 30/12/10

      So grateful that the compassionate conservatives didn’t run with the damage these children could have inflicted on the wider community.
      What’s next, plucking apple pies off Maggie Beers windowsill?

    • Wayne Fehlhaber says:

      06:21pm | 30/12/10

      The Badger :  Despite your sarcasm , you got it right , ” the compassionate conservatives “.
      Gillard’s Labor / Green / turncoat government reignited the boat flow to our shores which resulted in the deaths of many of those who interpret the government’s incompetence as an invitation to enter illegally.

      Just remember - Labor were warned several times that this tragedy was likely to occur when border control was abandoned.
      Our borders are wide open and you can expect another disaster very soon .
      The blood bucket will most certainly be up-ended on the Prime Minister’s head when the next boat goes down.

    • Karen says:

      11:20am | 30/12/10

      Great tongue-in-cheek article Tory. I must say that I feel a mixture of disbelief and disappointment at some of the online comments that I’ve read.
      Most did not even bother to check their facts before commenting - most not realising that it was an internal fence that the children have scaled. Some said that they were stealing from other people’s orchards while others made a big deal of them going on to other major crimes.
      I must say that reporting of half truths by most media as well as politicians did not help the issue - they just want to sensationalise the issue.
      Just remember people, these are just women and children, not hard-core criminals. They are together as a family, try to empathise with them.
      I know that most people in the hills have big hearts, and their reputation is being eroded in most cases by people not even living in the area.
      I admit that I’m not a hills resident, but even if I were, I will still stand by my comments.
      By all means, petition the government to come up with better assylum seeker policies so they do not have to resort to coming by boats; but for those already here in this detention center, show them that we Aussies can and do have generous hearts/spirits.

    • Robert Smissen, rural SA, God's own country says:

      05:27pm | 31/12/10

      Karen are you living in La La Land? ? ? Yes it was an internal fence, THIS TIME! ! ! So did I miss something in shool? ? I understood that their were adults (Men/Women) & children Boys/Girls) now you tell me there are criminals as well. NEWS FLASH to Karen! ! ! Women/Men Girls/boys can all be criminals. They are in detention UNTIL, the veracity of their claims can be checked & until such time, should be monitored by someone more competent than the gaurds currently employed

    • Eric says:

      11:34am | 30/12/10

      Pfft. Open-borders propaganda has no bounds, no shame, and no responsibility.

      Have any of you more-compassionate-than-thou types ever considered the consequences of allowing anyone and everyone to immigrate here, without any limits? Because that’s what you’re proposing.

      But why worry about reality, when you can feel sooo warm and fluffy for having the proper opinion?

    • AliceC says:

      12:18pm | 30/12/10

      That’s not what she’s proposing at all. Quite a beat up by the media if you think about it….

    • Richard says:

      01:09pm | 30/12/10

      Alice C, are you able to follow a train of logic? a series of causes and effects?

      Or are all of the thoughts in your head just vague, fuzzy feelings and notions which struggle for loose connection between themselves?

      Its an economic fact that human behaviour is incentivised, and by handing out PR’s to every illegal immigrant and queue jumper, by washing your hands and turning them loose into the general community, our government is advertising the mother of all incentives to every poor bum and moocher in the southern hemisphere to make their way here as quick as possible before the Libs get back in power and restore some common sense.

      I don’t care if you think I’m a monster, I deal with rational facts and observations. If you can refute this reasoning on an intellectual level, go ahead; but I don’t care a fig for your emotional temper tantrums and vile slanders against my character that take no account of how the world actually works.

    • Jerry says:

      01:29pm | 30/12/10

      temper tantrums and vile slander Richard?
      do look in the mirror - you don’t need to resort to nastiness and vile behaviour when trying to bring across a point.
      just showing up your true character.
      Jerry

    • Pete says:

      01:35pm | 30/12/10

      I laughed pretty hard when:
      “our government is advertising the mother of all incentives to every poor bum and moocher in the southern hemisphere to make their way here as quick as possible”

      was followed by:
      “I deal with rational facts and observations”

      Whether you are for or against the governments immigration policies, Richard, theres no denying the issue IS a beatup by the media (and this is coming from me, a conservative).

      Its fine to disagree, but to criticise AliceC for a calling it a beatup and then starting a blatantly biased rant full of exxagerations, you aren’t convincing anyone mate.

    • AliceC says:

      01:39pm | 30/12/10

      @Richard

      “but I don’t care a fig for your emotional temper tantrums and vile slanders against my character that take no account of how the world actually works. “

      What?!?! Where in my post signals a temper tantrum, or vile slander against your character? Maybe you are the one who needs to learn how to follow a train of logic (there it is)....

      I was simply pointing out to Eric that the article originally written and the facts of what happen are different. 10 children, scaling an internal fence, to pick fruit, is not a security breach. I myself, and plenty of my friends and relatives, climbed fences, ate fruit off trees, and all sorts of similar activites when we were little. Does that make all Aussie kids who partake in this criminal?

    • HappyCynic says:

      01:54pm | 30/12/10

      @Richard

      “but I don’t care a fig…”

      Judging by your comments you sound like the sort of guy who not only doesn’t care a fig, but seems to be rather plum sore about a couple of <i>kids<i> being kids.  Orange you going to show a little human kindness?  It’d be peachy if you could (I’ll stop now *lol*)  smile

      If you never experienced the thrill of discreetly hopping over the neighbour’s fence as a child to pick a couple of fresh ripe plums off his tree, then savouring the sweetness of success, then your childhood was as joyless and sterile as your comment and I pity you.

    • Richard says:

      02:12pm | 30/12/10

      I can completely deny that this issue is a media beat up, Pete, because this article by Tory is the very first thing I’ve heard about it, and its seems to me to be a small anecdote of little consequence, not a vicious media beat up.

      Sure, you guys are right, it does sound fun for kids to climb a fence and pick some, plums; absolutely delightful in fact, and I don’t begrudge them that simple pleasure one bit.

      But what I do begrudge is the way that the wider debate over illegal immigration is allowed to be bogged down by trivialities and tattle-tales by left-wing opiners trying to demonstrate how compassionate they are and how unreasonable opponents of open-border policies are, when all the while the problem is becoming graver and more intractable with accelerating pace.

    • Gregg says:

      04:28pm | 30/12/10

      But Alice,
      Rather than use big words like consequences, I’ll say lets join the dots and you responded to Eric who in part posted
      ” Have any of you more-compassionate-than-thou types ever considered the consequences of allowing anyone and everyone to immigrate here, without any limits? Because that’s what you’re proposing. “
      Your post ” That’s not what she’s proposing at all. Quite a beat up by the media if you think about it…. “
      And with Richard questioning your following of logic.

      It is obviously some bored journos reporting on kids and fences for why not when out with the floods can only be reported so much and would mean roughing it a bit more.

      But the joining of the dots goes something like:
      . family member safely gets to Xmas Isaland and it’s on free internet, hey it’s not so good thinking about how long we might have to wait but we’ve got good beds and plenty of food, so the asylum story you need is ” .......... “
      . so the next lot of family come and how do you reckon some already at Xmas Island knew of lost family members on the boat wreck.
      . that was tragic but what is even more tragic is that our current government not only has a do nothing policy to attempt halting the flow but the go easy approach is a form of indirect advertising, just those coming sending the message back.
      . there are 15M refugees globally and another 27M internally displaced people and they are just all the ones in centres or queues if you like.

      We have already had just recently a decision to not grant 100+ Papuans Asylum when they probably deserve it as much if not more than those being granted it.

      Will you connect a few dots yourself if we start getting more people of African nationalities venturing across the Indian Ocean?
      Bowen at one stage has stated Inverbrackie is intended to be used only to about May but he did not probably say which year.

      If these people are either unskilled or have skills not assessed by the Australian organisations that do assess skills for people making skilled visa applications, what is going to happen longer term as in where do they fit in, how do they earn an income, how do they contribute to our society.

      They are already not just affecting those in the refugee queues but skilled/family fee paying visa applicants are all having their processing times extended and that will also longer term cause an imbalance in skilled/unskilled numbers entering Australia.

      You can say ” Oh there’ll be no effect, bla bla ” but also forget about bla bla bla as ten, twenty years down the track your standard of living is lower though cost of it is higher.

    • TChong says:

      11:35am | 30/12/10

      Karen, did you realise the men arnt hard core criminals either ?

    • Ben81 says:

      11:36am | 30/12/10

      Yeah great, another sideshow that has nothing at all to do with the simple fact that we need to once again take in refugees responsibly instead of handing over part of our intake to people smugglers.  You know, the almost daily “policy failures” in Julia Gillard’s own words that are encouraging this trade to flourish in our region for…no reason at all really. 
      Wouldn’t it be nice to again have just a few hundred people in immigration detention instead of about 6000 and just as many refugees coming in, before you even scratch the surface of all the other problems the current situation brings? 
      How much longer is the “F*** off we’re full” crowd that has always been here and probably always will be here going to be your politically convenient excuse to brush aside the real problem here?

    • hohum says:

      03:00pm | 30/12/10

      Wouldn’t it be nice if Australia’s own homeless could be treated to somewhere to live? Instead people who just decide they are going to walk in here get treated as honoured guests and our own needy treated with contempt?The red carpet for aliens and the middle finger for Aussies. That how the system works.

    • Ryan says:

      12:18pm | 30/12/10

      Another day, another Gillard policy failure.. this clown is supposed to be running the place but clearly couldn’t organise herself out of a paper bag. At least these little criminals didn’t fall and break something otherwise we would have been in for some hefty compensation bills.
      How many more people need to die Gillard before you realise that running a country is not just about your own personal ambition to get a job you are clearly not qualified to do.

    • biff says:

      12:26pm | 30/12/10

      Why did they need to go fruit picking? We provide culturally appropriate meals with asylum shoppers providing meal advice. Tea, coffee, chilled water, TV, recreational activities and equipment, outings and other benefits. Wouldn’t the provision of fruit be on the list of freebies?

    • Marty McFly says:

      01:13pm | 30/12/10

      biff
      you’re still a dickhead in the future

    • biff says:

      03:24pm | 30/12/10

      You’ll have to try harder than that MM.

    • Catching up says:

      08:34am | 31/12/10

      Maybe the children did not want to waste the fruit on the trees, which appear to be in a no ones land. Is this the best the local politician and press can do after a couple of weeks?  Next, we will get reports of how these children are allowed to run wild within the boundaries of the camp.  Should not they be kept in lines and escorted when outside of the homes.

    • Not convinced says:

      01:38pm | 30/12/10

      The initial media report did not include the information that this was an internal fence.  The Immigration Department appears to have been unaware of this also.  Might one ask what is the purpose of this internal fence? Were the fruit trees therefore within the detention centre? The fact that the detention centre houses individuals who may well be taken into the hearts of Australians in their own community does not excuse the folly of encouraging risking lives unseaworthy   ASIO cannot process claims for those in refugee camps because it is swamped with the back door arrivals.
      Solution?  Return the people smuggling cargoes to the refugee camps and handle our humanitarian responsibilities by effective use of resources at the point of origin - take the quota from the camps.

    • Gregg says:

      04:38pm | 30/12/10

      I was thinking about why have a fruit tree fenced off within the detention centre too but perhaps it is all ultimately to do with cost after the boats have crashed.
      . Like there’re all sorts of harm claims by asylum seekers in the system, something like $5M already awarded to about 50 and a few 100 more to be processed.
      We do not want more claims because no one told the kids not to climb a Plum tree
      And then if they all start using them whilst green, it’ll be transport and medicals etc. etc.
      One way or another these Asylum People are taking Aussies for a ride that all the compassionate types cannot just face up to.

    • Radagast says:

      02:05pm | 30/12/10

      The fact that most locals have been welcoming to the assylum seekers seems to have escaped the media and the Liberal party. Or is it just ruining a xenophobia story.

    • jf says:

      12:29pm | 31/12/10

      It;‘s not the Liberal Party (or the media for that matter) who has refugees housed behind security fences.

    • Robert Smissen, rural SA, God's own country says:

      05:34pm | 31/12/10

      Radagast, now that you’ve mentioned xenophobia, the most xenophobic legislation was introduced by LABOR under Billy Hughes, it is called “The White Australia Policy” & was a plank in Labor’s policies for years, it took the Liberal government of Bob Menzies to start dismantling it.

    • MarK says:

      03:20pm | 30/12/10

      What an excellent piece Tory.

      What you should do for your next one is explain how safe and secure the governments methods of filling our humanitarian immigration quota is given over 6,000 have arrived at Christmas Island and elsewhere.

      Really all we have is a few statistics of some boats “sinking” and people “losing their lives”. The facts speak for themselves. Heaps have made it. So much so the price of passage is falling.

      As the price falls more people smugglers will be out of the game. Prostitution drug running, slavery, child slavery all of a sudden become much more economic. I think the cunning plan of the Gillard government to put the “evil” boat smuggling rings out of operation is a stroke of genius.

      And to all those nay sayers out there that want to point to the pictures we saw on out TV of that boat foundering well I say to you did you see anyone die? All we have is reports. What a farce. What a beat up. I saw people from the boat alive and well. Proof the system is working as intended.

      After all isn’t this what your piece is about. Making sure all the goodness comes out? Only looking at the bright side? Only seeing what you want to see? Only discussing what you want to discuss?

      Awesome work.

    • stevie says:

      10:01pm | 30/12/10

      Let the sunshine in hey! What a ridiculous waste of space - I usually enjoy your writing but this is drivel. I think too much Christmas pudding and wine and a lack of decent subject material.

    • jb says:

      10:52pm | 30/12/10

      First I guess is that clearly there is a lack of supervision so are the fences there for the immigrants or for the locals to feel protected.
      secondly, clearly these people are willing to work why can’t the children pick the fruit for the region and I would love some domestic help, why can’t we have some working in our homes to make our lives easier and the money goes back to their repatriation…

    • Major Tom says:

      07:18am | 31/12/10

      Gregg. Thanks for your comment - saves me time to review the archaic UNHCR 1951 treaty and the 1967 Protocol which blackmails signatories into accepting refugees from anywhere no matter if their cultural and belief systems do not fit into Australian society.  Our over tolerance have caused massive problems and one only has to see the enclaves of refugees in Europe to understand that this will happen here in the next decade.  Let us give more to the UN camps and stop the bombs as well as illegal boat arrivals.  And be more compassionate to our homeless rather than unauthorised arrivals.

    • Ground Control says:

      09:05am | 31/12/10

      Not sure I’d want to live in your version of “Australian Society”.
      Give me a few examples of belief systems that don’t fit in to your version of “Australian Society”.

    • Gregg says:

      10:11am | 31/12/10

      Well ground control, the very basic one is
      . living where we are is not too nice so we’ll just use criminal activities to move where some generous people will support us.
      And before you attack ” nice “, say you were living in the Australian countryside somewhere there was no law and order but it was safer in the cities, what would be your first move!
      . how women are viewed by many and remember the Sheik comments and what led to the Cronulla situation
      . Public baths having women only days declared for Muslims
      . Been a couple of deaths of visiting prominent muslims and bodies whisked away out of Australia without autopsies.
      A study of employment, compatibility with prayer habits might be in order, or lets say unemployment as these statistics in the UK highlight
      http://www.statistics.gov.uk/cci/nugget.asp?id=979
      No reason that it cannot be repeated here.

    • Ground Control says:

      12:21pm | 31/12/10

      Since you took the time to reply to my question to Major Tom, I think you should actually have answered the question I asked.
      “give me a few examples of belief system that don’t fit into your version of “Australian Society”
      based on what you wrote, you could just have said Muslims, because that is apparently what you meant to say but didn’t want to be labeled for what you actually are - A racist.

    • Sandi Logan says:

      05:47pm | 01/01/11

      I know this is late in the piece but the hyperbole in the kpening par—“mass breakout”—reeks of tab journalism during a slow summer news day when nothing else is around.  This minor incident inside the Inverbrackie facility occurred more than a week ago—yes, a week ago!—andit was within days o the kids (and their parents) moving in.  It was a couple of kids—not 10—scaling a low fence (1.5m) within the facility itself to go and pick some plums.  At no time were the kids outside the facility, and at no time was it a “breakout”...it certainly was not a “mass” of people.  Get a grip please.

    • petery says:

      07:25am | 07/01/11

      There seems to be more rants full of personal insults,misinformation and racism on this blog than on any other. I can picture most of the speakers now propped up against the bar,  holding forth in a similar loud mouthed manner,  and after a couple of schooners, the beer makes everything they say seem more informed and intelligent.

      I can hear them now getting drunker and drunker, pinching that line from that old Mel Brooks movie,Blazing Saddles muttering, “we can’t have” ém here,raping our cattle,stealing our women’” At this stage, they are pretty full on, but don’t know or aren’t sure if what they just said is round the right way.

      IF i am having a bit of a laugh it is because the typical aussie in this country is totally uninformed about foreign countries and cultures, but that apparently does not stop them expressing an opinion, as is their democractic right.. It is weird that that they don’t much about foreigners because in many cases they live next door to one,or have had them living over the back fence. for years.

      Because of this level of ignorance, it is pretty hard to have an intelligent discussion on this topic , so politicians,like Tony Abbot,  who are a lot smarter than the average bigot, bypass the brain, and appeal directly to the emotions and gut feelings of people ,without any deep thought about whether ‘what they say actually is workable, because the more outrageous and extreme the solution to the problem they propose, the more votes it is likely to win them..

      Australians have to face it. Xenophobia is as Australian as mateship, and given our insularity,it is never likely to improve. Of course,mateship only extends as far as your mate being Aussie,  and not one of those terrible foreigners, who have only come here to rape our cattle..

 

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From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go

Tim says:

They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]

From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go

Kel says:

If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]

Gentle jabs to the ribs

Superman needs saving

Superman needs saving

Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more

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