Got ear hair? It could be a sign of something serious

fairsfair says:

02:06pm | 20/05/11

cracked heels - wtf are they about?

I have always had soft feet, all of a sudden - trucker feet. I’ve been eulactoling, I’ve been pumicing, its not working. I am devastated.

I wonder if it is due to the fact I always wear thongs, or is it the fact that I am now ticking the second age box on survey forms??? Surely there is some study around liking cracked feet to your age box??? Surely.

St. Michael says:

02:10pm | 20/05/11

“Stray hair: Males are often oblivious to this concerning symptom until a hairdresser or other carer points it out. The nasal passages and ear canals are particularly susceptible and in severe cases, the hair can extend centimetres beyond the bounds of flesh. The eyebrows are also often affected.”

Oh, I’m never oblivious to it.  Mostly because the wife reminds me of its presence on a weekly or even daily basis.

“In females, stray hairs can be singular or in patches. Enlarged follicles produce spiky black hair in areas previously forested with soft, light growth. In one case study a 30-something strawberry blonde was found to have a single black hair sprouting from her forearm, and another from her cheek.”

I will bet you bottom dollar that nobody, and especially not her “carer”, said anything about it, though.  Who was the last guy who had the guts to tell a woman she’s got stray hairs or, god help us, a soft moustache? Probably the same one who was singing soprano shortly thereafter.  This issue is in the same league as whether her bum looks big in those pants—DON’T ANSWER, IT’S A TRAP!

Mahhrat says:

02:17pm | 20/05/11

Wait, what?  We’re all living longer but we’re ageing faster?  Which one is it?

That indian gent should totally plait his ear hair.  Those would be the best pig tails evah.

Follicle says:

03:01pm | 20/05/11

You know you’ve got there when for the first time at the end of your haircut the barber (and it’s usually barbers) darts the clipper to both eyebrows, both ears and, in severe cases, the nostril rims.  It’s like a sudden blessing from a priest and it’s over before you realise it.  once it seeps in what’s happened, however, you realise he’s seen what you’ve been (wilfully) blind to all this time.  After that each haircut ends with the grunted question, “Eyebrows?” - clippers aloft - to which you reply, shrugging, “Meh” and you pretend not to notice while he does it.  I’m 41 now, it’s been happening for a while; I think I’m numb to it.  Pretty much.  As for women, post-pregnancy hirsuteness (forearms etc) is very common, and it isn’t “one stray hair”, but I’ll let someone else suggest to them they should do something about it.  Me?  I don’t care.

Tails says:

03:34pm | 20/05/11

Is the Conds Institute associated with the Ponds Institute in any way?

The Liberal Loafer says:

04:26pm | 20/05/11

with male ears,  ear rings only in the right ear means a homosexual, and earrings only in the left ear means a meterosexual..
what does ears in both ears mean?

Steve says:

05:22pm | 20/05/11

You know you have reached middle age when you cancel your subscription to playboy and wait eagerly for a new free target lingerie catalouge to come out.

This is despite my wife assuring me that middle age is the half way point between your present age and 100.

Steve says:

06:39pm | 20/05/11

St Michael. You can have too much of a good thing. For instance a Myer catalogue with J Hawkins in swim toggs might be too much excitement so I throw them staright out lest I weken to temptation.