Giving a game of Cops and Robbers new consequences
So it was a fantastic week for guns. Nick D’Arcy and Kenrick Monk had to go the mega mea culpa for momentarily being confused as to which sport they pull on the green and gold tracksuit and Dunlop Volleys for.
It was also a great week for parenting combined with guns, and it doesn’t get any better than that. One notable example showed that children are not only our future, but are in very good hands. Ok, one of those hands might be their mum or dad brandishing a semi-automatic pistol, or a pump-action shotgun, but that’s of little consequence.
The story of eight-year-old kids having parties at a shooting range copped more of a barrage than a nude guy chomping on a face in Miami.
Where’s the problem? It should be encouraged. What else are you going to do for a kid’s party? Bouncy castle in the backyard? BORING! Stretch limo to a session with a beautician?
PLEASE, SO 2003. McDonald’s party? WHAT? You going to let your kids eat that stuff? Haven’t you read those alarming reports on childhood obesity? (Yes, I know they have salads, but work with me). Paintball? Nah, that’s just pretend for pussies.
No, kids these days want to shoot stuff with real high-powered weapons. Not so much “pin the tail on the donkey” but “blow the f*ck out of the donkey”. Maybe that’s next, hunting birthday parties - preferably not limited to garden-variety Equus africanus asinus, but endangered species like Black Rhinos, or tigers (any brand will do). That would also get the children out and get them some fresh air.
The gentleman at the shooting range sounds as responsible as the parents, his only condition for would-be Dirty Harrys and Harriets - “You have to be tall enough to get above the shooting table”. See? Where’s the drama with that? Caring Mr Smith-Wesson doesn’t want little Tiaaanna coming home with a gaping hole where her left nostril used to be.
A word of advice - just make sure your little Trevor takes a really, really good present to the party. You don’t want to be around a disappointed, tearful eight-year-old wielding a Glock pistol…
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