You might not know this, but on the wall of every single cosmetic company in the whole entire world, there is a sign that reads: when all else fails, scare the living crap out of them.

Portrait of the author two hours from now…

Exhibit A: The latest, “ahem” research from tanning company St Tropez that claims women look their oldest at 3:30pm on Wednesdays.

Yes, please note use of the word “oldest”. Because we’re not just talking a little bit rough around the edges here, ladies - we are talking REALLY, REALLY OLD. As in, you-could-be-mistaken-for-your-own-grandmother, kind of old.

Please also note that these findings also coincide very neatly with the launch of their latest product, St Tropez Gradual Tan Plus Anti-Ageing face lotion.

The bad news is that no woman in the entire world appears to be immune to the 3:30pm curse. But the good news is we can’t blame ourselves entirely.

According to the company spokesperson Nichola Joss, it’s thanks to a lethal combination of high stress levels, natural mid-afternoon slump and a tendency to “neglect our skin routines” by the middle of the week. Oh, and because the visual effects of last weekend’s drinking are starting to show.

“It’s fascinating,” said Ms Joss.

Hopefully right before rushing to the mirror to check her own face.

Comments on this post close at 8pm AEST

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33 comments

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    • Rowdy says:

      12:45pm | 23/01/13

      “A man’s face is his autobiography. A women’s face is her work of fiction” - Oscar Wilde

    • marley says:

      12:57pm | 23/01/13

      Oscar Wilde never met Shane Warne.

    • NSS says:

      01:39pm | 23/01/13

      Touche, Marley!

      *snicker*

    • Nostromo says:

      02:03pm | 23/01/13

      He, he, I was going to ask if that was a typo. i.e. don’t all wimen look their oldest at 33+...?

      *duck & ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnn* smile))

    • Rowdy says:

      02:08pm | 23/01/13

      That touch a nerve marley?

      “With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come”

    • Student says:

      02:30pm | 23/01/13

      @marley. What does that tell us about Shane Warne? wink

    • marley says:

      02:32pm | 23/01/13

      @Rowdy - nah, I’m not sensitive.  They’re both great quotes. I like the second one better.  Someone should send it to Shane.

    • Rowdy says:

      02:51pm | 23/01/13

      @marley…LOL…I would like to see a meeting of Oscar Wilde and Shane Warne.

      One of them would be out of their depth… methinks it wouldn’t be Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde.

      With a name like that he’d be a littlebit Irish wouldn’t he?

    • Rowdy says:

      02:51pm | 23/01/13

      @marley…LOL…I would like to see a meeting of Oscar Wilde and Shane Warne.

      One of them would be out of their dept… methinks it wouldn’t be Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde.

      With a name like that he’d be a littlebit Irish wouldn’t he?

    • Nostromo says:

      02:52pm | 23/01/13

      @Student: it tells us that there’s a big market for penile plastic surgery, botox & other enhancements…?

    • Stained says:

      04:07pm | 23/01/13

      @marley, I’m sure Oscar Wilde would have liked to have met him.

    • Sickemrex says:

      05:15pm | 23/01/13

      They would probably both agree that the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

    • marley says:

      05:48pm | 23/01/13

      @sickemrex -ain’t that the truth.

    • Dan Webster says:

      01:12pm | 23/01/13

      My wife looks the scariest when she first wakes up.
      Then she transforms to stunningly beautiful.

    • Philosopher says:

      01:31pm | 23/01/13

      I can vouch for that. I love the way her hair fall across the pillow…

    • Pisces says:

      01:59pm | 23/01/13

      Oh, Philosopher you really are a two-timing heartbreaker. You promised that I was the only one…boo hoo! Your drooling over your slackened jowels was so endearing :-(

    • Philosopher says:

      02:10pm | 23/01/13

      Pisces, I promise it’s just you; Mrs Webster was LAST year.

      ‘Slackened jowels’?? Well, about you not snoring and hogging all the doona…

    • nihonin says:

      02:25pm | 23/01/13

      Philospher, is Pisces are twin?  If so maybe this isn’t your missus.  wink

    • Philosopher says:

      02:36pm | 23/01/13

      twins? Nihonin, I really don’t mind smile

    • Dan Webster says:

      02:39pm | 23/01/13

      @ Philosopher - Hhmmm maybe I was getting the fright from looking at you in my bed and thinking it was my wife.

    • Pisces says:

      02:50pm | 23/01/13

      What do you mean “LAST year”? We’re still in January! And what have you been telling nihonin you cad ????

    • Philosopher says:

      02:59pm | 23/01/13

      honey, please don’t make a scene… *looks around nervously*
      I promised you a trip to Bateman’s Bay, didn’t I? What more do you want??

    • nihonin says:

      03:36pm | 23/01/13

      He told me nothing Pisces!!!................as I turn for the door to make a quick exit…...........

    • marley says:

      04:07pm | 23/01/13

      This is getting interesting. I’m settling down with the popcorn in anticipation of the next heart-stopping episode.

    • Mouse says:

      06:04pm | 23/01/13

      Damn, it looks like I am getting to all the good parties too late again!  :o(

    • nihonin says:

      02:24pm | 23/01/13

      Women usually look their best first thing in the morning, bed hair…......yowsers smile

    • Dan Webster says:

      02:40pm | 23/01/13

      Maybe when they are younger….

    • nihonin says:

      03:08pm | 23/01/13

      Age is irrelevant Dan, especially when you wake beside them each morning.  Ummm beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I believe.

    • Philosopher says:

      03:24pm | 23/01/13

      Lucy makes 330pm sound like the cursed time in Shrek where at sundown the princess turns into a sort of goblin. Surely it ain’t that bad, ladeez?

    • Dan Webster says:

      03:39pm | 23/01/13

      I know, I just felt like stirring the pot a little bit. It’s my silly hour wink

      True love is more than skin deep.

    • Sheldon says:

      04:12pm | 23/01/13

      I think it might have been a little unfair to put that photo with a story about “looking at your worst”. That is a beautiful reptile.

    • Pisces says:

      06:28pm | 23/01/13

      “Bateman Bay?!?!?! My friend Varnesssa-Narcellle gets a whole week at the Rosebud Caravan Park and after giving you and nihonin the best years of my thighs all I get is Bateman Bay???

      That’s it Philosopher, I’m moving in with Marley, at least he has popcorn!

    • tez says:

      06:45pm | 23/01/13

      Well we talk about
      Lance Armstrong 4 or 5 times
      Breast feeding 4or 5 times
      Gay items 4 or 5 times
      bitch about Gillard all the time .
      But Kurt Fearnley makes an amazing speach on people with diabilities an nothing Why ?

 

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