Hi. Sorry I’m late. Just back from the McCafe. Been hanging out there since really early this morning because, as Oprah’s American audience learned yesterday in a McDonald’s-sponsored segment, that’s what we Aussies do. All the time.

Just like Kakadu, without the crocodiles. Photo: Bob Barker

Lucky she reminded me about these “hip hangouts” really. There I was, about to buy a rack of spring lamb for dinner, and a beautiful fresh tray of Bowen mangoes for the fruit bowl, when bing! I remembered that in fact, what I actually craved, on a deeply-ingrained cultural level, was in fact that most Australian of treats, the American Choc Brownie Slice ™.

Or I don’t know, maybe some Cookies and Cream Cheesecake washed down with a caramel latte frappe, a beverage which demonstrates beyond question our love of a classic, untainted, good quality cup of real coffee.

Never mind that loads of American food franchises have failed here, like Baskin Robbins and Starbucks and most recently, Krispy Kreme, or that most Australians believe that American food looks and tastes like horse shit. As Oprah has reminded us in her timely pre-Christmas message, McCafe is where the true blue come to affirm our Australianness.

It is, in short, our national tuckerbox. It is the hub of our dreaming. Uluru, eat your red heart out.

Thanks to Oprah, Americans now understand that hanging out at McCafe is as Aussie as building a billycart to race down Bondi Road with your mates while yelling Oi! Oi! Oi!

Gosh darn it – oops, I mean fair dinkum – I could seriously go one of those mochafrappawhackasmackacino thingies right now.

Anyway, that’ll do for now. Like I said, just popped into the office to remind y’all of one of the unique aspects of Australian culture which Oprah is set to showcase to the world this week. Popping out again now. To McCafe, of course.

And if any of you think this is some kind of ill-conceived attempt at humour, let me assure you this is deadly serious. Australians are McCafe. McCafe is Australia.

As Shane Warne himself tweeted yesterday “Did everyone in Australia go to mcdonalds between 11-12 this morning for free chicken Mcbites… How good are they ?? Amazing ...”

You can’t tell me a deadset Aussie icon like him would tweet something like that if it wasn’t representative of our true blue culture. We should just count ourselves lucky that someone of Oprah’s influence is out here this week doing likewise.

129 comments

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    • Adam Diver says:

      11:50am | 06/12/10

      The worse part is not that Oprah did somethng so commercially obvious, but that a large number of americans will believe her.

      Imagine the idea portrayed of australians. I can imagine everyone sitting in a mcafe looking over the beach, with red dust on the other side, kangaroos grazing in the car park, and a bunch of men in Khaki wrestling a crocodile in the creek. Actually doesnt sound too bad.

    • fairsfair says:

      11:58am | 06/12/10

      you need to move to Cairns, I kid you not - this goes on.

    • dancan says:

      12:11pm | 06/12/10

      The really worst part is that a lot of Australian’s are also starting to believe her, that or through apathy allow this Americanised, Australian image to be portrayed and come to life.

      On a side not people are concerned about immigrants because of the loss of aussie culture.  Hate to break it to you but it’s already in the process of being lost to American culture

    • TheRealDave says:

      12:25pm | 06/12/10

      Have you seen Fox News recently? The guff that Americans believe would leave you absolutely gob smacked.

      Aussies enjoying McCafe’s is benignly harmless by comparison

    • G says:

      01:08pm | 06/12/10

      @ TheRealDave

      I laughed hard at your use of the word “guff” and the current slanging match between Fox News and The Simpsons.

      Indeed Americans are quite stupid!

    • TheRealDave says:

      03:17pm | 06/12/10

      Jon Stewart is the man, he’s taking the piss out of the whole Fox Network far better than the writing team of the Simpsons could ever hope to wink

    • Charles says:

      03:51pm | 06/12/10

      TheRealDave- i assume John Stewarts writing team is more dedicated then.

    • acotrel says:

      08:05am | 07/12/10

      Isn’t McCafe simply goldenarches in disguise? I wish they’d just go away.  We don’t have a Hungry Jack’s in our town, and Macca’s is just revolting (their coffee is good) - Ho Hum!

    • Mike says:

      03:44am | 08/12/10

      I dunno Antony. The Caramel Latte Frappes are pretty bloody amazing!

    • MarK says:

      11:51am | 06/12/10

      I went to a McCafe once.

    • NicoleG says:

      12:46pm | 06/12/10

      And if you had the coffee, you’d know what dirty dishwater tastes like.

    • Macca says:

      01:08pm | 06/12/10

      McCafe sells Coffee?

    • TChong says:

      01:15pm | 06/12/10

      Hey MarK, Nicole, listen to yurselves!
      McCrapes are THE model of sucessful small businesses, particularly if franchised.
      You two call yourselves Liberals! Instead of admiring and championing these business people of drive and ambition, you two bag , like two namby pamby lefty public servants stopping for a soy satay latte ,on the way to the ministry of Lefty Ideals.
      Shame On You Both . Wanna-bes Liberals.

    • KKong says:

      01:38pm | 06/12/10

      Which crap McCafe are you the manager of TChong? A person doesn’t have to be a leftist to despise the rubbish available at McCafe. Anyone with any taste would avoid those places like the plague.

    • NicoleG says:

      01:49pm | 06/12/10

      Excuse me Mr Chong, but that ‘stuff’ they use and call coffee is just crap! If you’d like I can save my dirty dish washing liquid and sell it to you at a discount price? Yes?

    • TChong says:

      01:49pm | 06/12/10

      KKong Ha haha ha haha hahahahahaha.
      Thanx for playing wink

    • MarK says:

      02:12pm | 06/12/10

      I actually don’t drink coffee as a rule. My wife bathes in the stuff though.

      Funnily enough she used to love the coffee at McCafe but will not drink it now. When they went to the save the rainforest brand it became really bitter she said. What are other coffee peoples thoughts?

      @TC - really? You got all of that from my post. The extrapolation is strong in you my son. Let me tell you something, I am, as a right wing nut job, allowed to be happy at the success of a business for economic reasons while bagging it for a monotony of conformity and a singular boorishness in its standard fair that is replicated with a certain precise regurgitation of the essential flavours found in a premade sauce from franchise to franchise.

      In other words meh to the food. If I never saw a McD’s again I would not be worried.

      Vive le resistance against the taste(lessness) of the golden arches!!!!

    • NicoleG says:

      05:39pm | 06/12/10

      MarK, your wife is a very wise woman. It used to be slightly drinkable, now it’s just revolting.

    • Chris L says:

      08:04pm | 06/12/10

      Do they sell lattes at McCafe? I’d go there more often if I knew! I find if I don’t drink enough lattes I become unbalanced and start leaning toward the right.

    • Tom says:

      04:23pm | 07/12/10

      @ NicoleG, call me something hurtful such as a taste bud challenged individual, however I don’t find the McCafe coffee too bad. I rate it above the Gloria Jean stuff and a lot of (trendy sort of) cafes I have been to over the years.

      You know, I have always felt that somehow I was different?

    • Tombowler says:

      11:51am | 06/12/10

      Oprah is a dunce.

        It was Oprah who initially touted the wonders of ‘The Secret’; that ridiculous book whereby an alleged conspiracy by people more successful than the inevitably poverty-stricken purchaser had tried to cover up the fact that their success was not relative to work, luck or talent but rather the knowledge that material wealth was achievable through sitting on your fat arse and hoping.

        This cunning ploy to separate the chronically lazy, poor and stupid (a huge segment of the U.S population) with 30 odd bucks plus another tenner for those who were so chronically lazy as to demand not only free money brought about by the power of their less-than-impressive minds but demand also a movie so as to preserve the requisite brainpower for wishing for free consumer goods where, in the absence of a 90 minute movie, it would be wasted on having to read a couple of hundred pages.

        I know- a few hundred pages for the alleged secret to a lifetime of free wealth? Well I suppose that couple of hours of reading translates to a sweet plasma worth of positive thoughts though.

        The colossal rort that was Oprah plugging the Secret is a microcosm for the obese woman and the danger in her cult-like following. She garners the affection of unintelligent and unsuccessful and pushes them further into their downward spirals of credit-card debt and late-night-television-fitness-equipment purchases with her ‘super favourite things’ or whatever which should actually read ‘Useless crap I don’t really like because I can afford much better boutique goods- mostly due to my touting of the virtues of aforementioned useless consumer goods’

        That widely panned mining magnate Clive Palmer displays a charitable largesse much more realistic, grounded and commensurate to wealth than Oprah and doesn’t receive any adulation for it. More importantly Palmer does it quietly and without requiring that every minute is broadcast to envious dirtbags sitting on various cheap lounge settings watching in all the glory that only an interest-free 97 inch plasma can offer.

      Oprah is part of the problem. I know I already posted this on the other Oprah thread but I figure this one is more relevant to my ranting.

      It’s quite fantastic really. We are paying for Oprah not only to come to our fair country and pry open the wallets of the outer-suburban moron but to denigrate our culture to the level of ‘patrons of mc-cafe’ at an international level. How fun.

      At least an obese, bogan-pandering retard like Oprah will give a true reflection of the McCafe’s general patron. I suppose it will also work in a rather perverse form of social Darwinism:

      People who listen to Oprah are (generally) stupid and lazy and always looking for a shortcut. If they begin to frequently attend McCafe on the basis of Oprah’s word they will become obese meaning:

      1) They will be unattractive and less likely to procreate
      2) Die at age 43 of massive coronaries and remove themselves rather effectively from the gene pool.

      The issue of course is that these Obese, Oprah-loving sideshows might begin to procreate in an insular fashion amongst one another. (Cavorting in the ball-pit and McCafe etc) This will result in, initially, a generation or so genetically doomed to interest-free contracts, obesity and stupidity.

      Eventually these people will become genetically differentiated enough to become a sub species. Maybe Homo-secretus? or Homo-ignoramus?

      This sub-species will wield enormous power through their willingness to attain and expend further credit and we will become subjugated in our own society.

      Hmm.. We’re screwed..

    • Wonderment says:

      01:22pm | 06/12/10

      Superbly articulated Tombowler.
      Lets hope that these folk do go and sup up and chow down at McCafe and subsequently be removed from the gene pool, sooner rather than later.
      Free Frappwhatzitz and plastic gunk alright folks!

    • Coffee lover says:

      02:13pm | 06/12/10

      I take it you have not seen “Idiocracy”. We will be screwed if welfare dependents like those you describe continue to be electorally enfranchised.

    • Robert Smissen, rural SA, God's own country says:

      02:28pm | 06/12/10

      Worse than the book “The Secret” is that she backed Obama a dilettante & the son of a dilettante, America is driving down the road to perdition with a clown at the wheel

    • T says:

      12:18am | 07/12/10

      Tombowler: I think I love you.

    • Kathine Grant says:

      09:42am | 11/12/10

      You know this could have been an interesting comment if only you had left out the personal and spiteful bits.

    • Our Young Country says:

      11:52am | 06/12/10

      This would be funnier if Australia actually had any culture

    • Derp says:

      12:56pm | 06/12/10

      Rofl.

    • acinom says:

      01:41pm | 06/12/10

      We’re too lazy to have our own culture..it’s so much easier to steal everyone else’s.

    • Advanced Australia Not Fair says:

      02:11pm | 06/12/10

      HAHAHA SPOT BLOODY ON!

    • fairsfair says:

      11:56am | 06/12/10

      geez Ant - I ran over about ten trays of Bowen Mangoes on the Ride-On yesterday, I’ll have to send you some. Destruction of fruit - ah, its beginning to look a lot like Christmas…

      McDonald’s are smart to capitalise on the Aussie’s love of “coffee”. I think the McCafe is a relatively Australian exclusive endeavour, but I am as shocked as you seem to be to hear that it is being used to “represent us”. If they sold Bushells and a Lamington, I’d feel better about it - but the sad thing is - more Aussies would go for a Latte and an American Brownie over that. So is this just indicative of our shifting national identity? I read somewhere that we drink more Capuccinos than beer and out national dish is now Pad Thai. Yet if you asked people they would suggest something like Fish and Chips. What is “Australian-ness” is misunderstood by a lot of people.

      Oh and what’s with Warnie being sponsored by Maccas when KFC have always “owned” the cricket? I bet the colonel isn’t to happy with this.

    • TheRealDave says:

      12:25pm | 06/12/10

      Pad Thai is so 2004

    • Gareth Davies says:

      06:36pm | 06/12/10

      Except for the 1300 McCafe stores worldwide in more than 13 countries. But that’s close to exclusive to Aus…..

    • Chris L says:

      08:13pm | 06/12/10

      Gareth if there’s one here then we own it! If we worried about where things really started out then Mel Gibson would never have been an Australian actor, even when he was popular, the Sidney Opera House would be an embarrassing reminder of our lack of architectural ability and we’d still be droning on about how the Hills Hoist Clothes Line changed the world!

      Victor mowers were cool though, and we do own that!

    • A Dose of Reality says:

      11:58am | 06/12/10

      Surprisingly, you didn’t pick up on the fact that this is the basis for her whole show. 

      That she ridicules Australians in this manner is bad enough, but it is also true that she also condescends the yanks every week!

      In any case, the saddest thing is the Aussie women will prove to be just as stupid as their yankie counterparts.

    • rohan says:

      05:57pm | 06/12/10

      what are you talking about..it’s an australian who said this comment!

      dont blame oprah

    • CJ says:

      11:59am | 06/12/10

      I’ll betcha Baz Luhrmann wrote the script for “Australia” at his local McCafe ...

    • E says:

      12:57pm | 06/12/10

      I am pretty sure federation actually happened at a McCafe.

    • Chris L says:

      08:15pm | 06/12/10

      Are you kidding? The original convicts slaved away at McCafe! That tradition is why we still use the closest thing to slave labour there (teenagers).

    • Lee lou says:

      12:35am | 07/12/10

      I’m sure the guy who wrote “What bogans like” took notes from his local Maccas.A Moden day Darwin prehaps?.

    • n_dude says:

      04:47pm | 07/12/10

      Be careful. Any Yanks reading this might believe you…

    • Lee lou says:

      09:19pm | 07/12/10

      We can always change Mc Cafe coffees in honor of Oprah,Fancy a cup of McOprah?. That will get the bogans into a tizz!
      I’m hip ,I’m hop & i drink McOprah

    • Adman says:

      12:00pm | 06/12/10

      ” Australians believe that American food looks and tastes like horse shit”

      This part I liked.
      Seriously, is this your personal opinion of how you think all Aussie feel? or some kind of scientific researched fact?

      Any food from a mass produced company like McDonalds, Hungry Jacks, etc usually tastes like crap. Doesn’t matter where in the world it originated.

      You obviously have never travelled to America and really tasted their food in each different section of their country. Their food is truly amazing. Same can be said for all the other countries and their local foods.

      This article is pretty much a ‘jump on the bandwagon’ America bash. For shame. Surely there’s better things you could write about hmm?

    • Ladybug says:

      02:36pm | 06/12/10

      Then why do Americans drown all their food in sauces and marinades? TAs it is, they should be describing food by the sauce and asking if you’d like a bit of meat with that.

    • Andrew says:

      02:37pm | 06/12/10

      I have had food in colorado and los angeles, it’s pretty average.

      The truly terrifying thing is that their fast food is worse than ours.  What we eat at maccas etc is actually better tasting (and less fatty) that theirs.

    • snook says:

      12:57pm | 07/12/10

      Don’t agree. Have visited lots of places in the US and the food is definitely AVERAGE. It is hard to find quality. Everything is exceedingly fatty, over-sauced, disgusting. Always nice to get home and back to fresh, simple food. The good stuff is in Europe.

    • n_dude says:

      04:50pm | 07/12/10

      @snook - have to agree with you on that one based on my personal experiences

    • Adman says:

      11:13pm | 07/12/10

      Are you people serious?

      The food quality in Australia is barely average at best, the service is worse than terrible. The Australian cuisine is bland, they don’t bother trying to experiment with tastes and flavours.

      I can’t believe I’m arguing. I’ve herped so much I derped.

    • Dan says:

      12:06pm | 06/12/10

      Shame!! How embarrasing for her to say Aussies hang out in filthy bogan infested McCafes drinking coffee made by 12 year olds!!

    • Super D says:

      12:13pm | 06/12/10

      Well on her visit Oprah will discover that in Australia, McDonalds isn’t just for poor black people.

    • nosthow says:

      12:15pm | 06/12/10

      Krispy Kreme - thank god its gone . We are fitness people and only went into a Krispy Kreme place once to see what it was all about and the smell of sugar was everywhere - yuk ! McCafes ok though Anthony - nice coffee at least.

    • fairsfair says:

      01:01pm | 06/12/10

      biggest question is however, are “fitness people” fit enough to wear Budgie Smugglers?

      wink

    • TheRealDave says:

      01:26pm | 06/12/10

      Hate to break it to you but those over priced pieces of crap are still around. Half their stores are closing but the other half will remain open and trading…as of last week

    • KP says:

      02:47pm | 06/12/10

      ROFL ‘FITNESS PEOPLE’ HAHAHAHAH and you can’t stand the smell of sugar????? wtf? since when is natural sugar bad for you? omg I really feel sorry for you poor deprived people -  of course it’s bad if you eat by the spoonful or drink it via addictive acidic american soft drink (same thing really)....everything in moderation people…....even sugar and mcplastic hahahahahaha

    • nosthow says:

      04:14pm | 06/12/10

      @fairsfair - nosthow looks magnificient in his boardies FF !

    • nosthow says:

      04:24pm | 06/12/10

      @TheRealDave - tell me you dont eat that stuff Dave ? Please !

    • fairsfair says:

      05:21pm | 06/12/10

      @ Nosthow - glad to hear re the boardies. You’d probably look more like you were smuggling a krispy kreme in the back of your speedos otherwise…

      wink

    • vian says:

      12:19pm | 06/12/10

      Strewth you beaut stone the crows, cobbers.  After a long day on the dingo trail, mending the rabbit-proof fence there’s nothing better than humping your bluey to a McCafe.  It’s as dinkum of the Superbowl, I tellya. 

      Hell, if that’s what Oprah’s audience wants to hear, let them have it.  If they found out the truth, they might want to emigrate.

    • Steve says:

      12:19pm | 06/12/10

      Ant - since I know from responses that you actually read the comments posted on your articles - is the absence of the fact in your article that the McCafĂ© reference actually came out of the mouth of 7pm Project “personality” Carrie Bickmore inadvertent or is it intended to stir up anti-US/Oprah comments from those who don’t bother to click on the video and will assume that Oprah said it herself?

    • E says:

      01:01pm | 06/12/10

      I know that it was Carrie Bickmore and I am still annoyed at Oprah.  I seriously doubt a woman with that degree of control-freaki-itis wasn’t 100 percent aware of what was going to be said in that segment!

      Plus its fun to get all up in arms about something. Maybe we can all get together at our local McCafe to debate this further…

    • The CaveDweller says:

      01:10pm | 06/12/10

      Applause Steve!  This was my very thought.  Frankly I am more than a little annoyed at Bickmore with her pandering overly to a celebrity who thinks that everyone is taken in by her largesse.

      If people wish to see her more power to them and I would not stop them but I will be very glad when all this fawning is over with especially once I read what BICKMORE told Oprah Aussies were all about.

      Good grief where is the world’s respect for those who actually use their talent to achieve truly great things by their intelligence and ability as opposed to these celebrities who simply do nothing but breathe.

      Don’t go on about all Oprah gives away either.  The woman is a billionaire and in a world that celebrated the cerebral rather than the banal she would actually be nowhere.  Her gifts are easy things to toss out to her viewing audience considering what she actually keeps for herself is far far greater.

      Mmm wonder who actually pays for all those things now?  Her sponsors perhaps?  Interesting to know that fact.

      More power to her but I’m not a sheep.

      Puh lease!

    • sj says:

      01:17pm | 06/12/10

      To not actually say it herself but have Carrie say it for her, Oprah cops (slightly) less flack for it because it technically didn’t come out of her mouth is kind of evil genuis

    • M says:

      01:48pm | 06/12/10

      FINALLY!!

      Shame on Carrie Bickmore for participating in such an obvious marketing ploy at the expense of her fellow Australians.

    • Ant Sharwood says:

      01:51pm | 06/12/10

      Steve, I’d never heard of Carrie Bickmore before today, so thought I’d leave her out cos she didn;t ring a bell as a name wirth mentioning. My colleagues now tell me she is someone reasonably well known.

      My problem is that 7pm is stories, bath etc for the kids and definitely, definitely not TV time.

    • Steve says:

      04:45pm | 06/12/10

      Ant, thanks for the reply.

      You’re not missing out on much by not watching the 7pm Project.

    • Andy says:

      06:15pm | 06/12/10

      Agreed, these should go back on Carrie.

    • mcshit says:

      12:22pm | 06/12/10

      Ever been to America?? I have multiple times and scarily, I think the yanks will believe Orpah. Or whatever her name is. Yanks have their heads so far jammed up their ‘fannies’ that they (generally speaking) have no idea about other western countries, let alone having visited one. Even an American friend of mine living in Australia, reckons yanks are a very ignorant lot.

      Love the comments by the way, very witty Anthony.

    • Stereo says:

      07:21pm | 06/12/10

      Why would they care about other countries when they have the best country in the world.

      besides it is very dangerous trying to stereotype 300 million people who came emigrated from hundreds of countries.
      20 odd million mainly from Britain- not so tough.

    • Markster says:

      12:26pm | 06/12/10

      What’s a McCafe?  I must not be very Australian and obviously not hip!

      We don’t call our women sheilas since about the 1950"s, sure as eggs she will highlight the indigenous issues here as their champion, whilst carefully sidestepping the Native American issues.  We will probably be portrayed as a hybrid of Barry McKenzie, Dame Edna and Paul Hogan!
      At least she appeals to the type of person whom we could care less about!  Please Oprah,  take your commercialised folksy crap with you and board a plane to somewhere else!

    • rohan says:

      06:02pm | 06/12/10

      why dont you read the news report more carefully…it was not Oprah who made that comment…

      She doesnt have to answer for Native American’s..her own people had to have the same fight…and there’s the president to show for it…

      And whats wrong with highlighting the indigenous issue - you think they are getting the “fair go”...

      bunch of hypocrites

    • Chris L says:

      08:26pm | 06/12/10

      Rohan the plight of the slaves… I mean African Americans… was very different to the Australian aborigines. Indeed the Indians… I mean Native Americans… have a much more similar history to the Aussie blacks (can I say “blacks”?).

      Agreed though. There’s no harm and maybe some good from bringing the subject up again, but unless someone actually has a plan of action (I believe they’ve been waiting 200 years for that, but then again I haven’t heard the Aborigines coming up with a workable plan either) then such a mention will simply garner some head nodding and hand wringing with little actual benefit.

      I really don’t have a good plan either, which is why I don’t tend to broach the subject myself.

    • Markster says:

      09:31pm | 06/12/10

      At no point did I directly attribute the McCafe comments to her, though part of her sponsorship deal. The issues of African Americans and Native Americans are markedly different.  The point is that our issues are ours and not for o/s celebrities to judge.  It is too important an issue for her to raise, as indicated in previous articles it will likely be on her agenda…I hope not!

    • Killa says:

      12:40pm | 07/12/10

      ummm Oprah and Obama are Native Americans? OMG Rohan, please, a word of advice - a wise man once said “It is best to keep your moth closed and be thought a fool, then to open it and remove all doubt.” *face palm*

    • CH says:

      12:30pm | 06/12/10

      I was curious to see if Carrie Bickmore was trained as a journalist (she is) or simply a talking head who wanted to be taken seriously. I thought if she was the latter, it might explain her lack of ethics when it came to reporting.

      Anyway, my research lead me to her Wikipedia page, which has already been hijacked by someone not happy with her McGaffe!

      “More recently she has been known as a McDonalds sell-out tramp and her viewer appeal has mysteriously fallen through the floor. She is about the get the arse from 7pm Project (or rather the show is) for being an absolute sell-out to an american junk food producer and not standing by Aussie values.”

      It’s all rubbish, I assume, but it’s a little bit funny.

    • AdamC says:

      12:30pm | 06/12/10

      Geez, is this some sort of new cultural cringe or something? I mean, lighten up everyone.

      Did writers go this ape in the eighties when Paul Hogan ‘threw another shrimp on the barbie’, thereby misrepresenting our national culture on more than one level? Or is this weird panic response only triggered when Americans (famous Americans?) make us sophisticated, Antipodean coffee afficianados look less like the discerning conoisseurs that we are?

      Actually, the McCafe I walk past in Melbourne’s CBD (practically the home of Australian coffee) on my way from the station to work is always pretty busy. I don’t know about being a hip hangout (attention: research shows that advertising is often paid for by the producers of the product being advertised, and therefore may put a positive spin on that product) but McCafe seems to be a commercial success here.

    • steph says:

      01:08pm | 06/12/10

      I too am always in awe that people buy their coffee from McCafe/Starbucks/Gloria Jeans etc etc when in Melbourne you can literally pop two doors around the corner and get a fabulous cup for much cheaper.

      I agree that we need to lighten up about the whole Oprah thing - it’s a commercial show on a commercial station, of course there was going to be commercial sponsors. If viewers of Oprah want to believe that they have an innate understanding of ANY country after an hour long talk show, well that says more about the individuals level of gulibility than anything else.

    • fairsfair says:

      01:13pm | 06/12/10

      Adam I don’t think that is what is being disputed. I like McCafe Coffee - it is pretty decent and every McCafe I walk past has people in it. Particuarly mum’s groups getting their skinny cap and toasted banana bread…. Coffee is big in Australian culture (for the past decade or so) and the whack another “shrimp” on the barbie was typically australian (even though it was translated). I think the issue is the link of Australiana with McDonalds - An american company. I’m not too happy about that, but it is simply advertising I guess and Maccas paid to have their name mentioned. Muffin Break should’ve got amongst it, but it probably isn’t Aussie owned anyway. So I am with you - it is a bit of a non issue but an enjoyable rant by Sharwood nonetheless.

    • Brian B says:

      01:08pm | 06/12/10

      This annoys the crap out of me.

      McCafe is about as Australian as Greg Norman and Germaine Greer.

      Sent from a real beachfront coffee shop at Mooloolaba - now this is truly Australia.

    • jf says:

      02:07pm | 06/12/10

      Blogging on your iPad from a coffee shop. Uniquely Ausralian? Or did I see someone do it at a Starbucks on an American Romcom once?

    • Andrew says:

      02:44pm | 06/12/10

      You should probably know that McCafe was founded in Australia by an Australian McDonalds franchisee.

    • Ezza says:

      01:14pm | 06/12/10

      I think this presents an excellent opportunity to play havoc with our gullible cousins from across the sea (apologies in advance to any American’s with IQ’s over 50 - I know you are out there but have to hide for fear of persecution…)

      I plan to spend the entire time that Oprah is here dressed as a bushranger.  We should tie Kangaroo’s up outside of pubs (after all once we get sloshed we all ride home in their pouches, right?) and ensure that the newspapers are filled with grisly invented stories about Killer Koalas and drop-bear attacks taking place in urban areas.  There is no need to adopt any out-dated slang, just speak normally and no one will be able to understand you (this I say from experience, in Phoenix I had to slow down my speech for everyone and one girl asked me what language we speak in Australia)

      All men and women must wear stubbies, thongs, and a navy blue bonds singlet.  Cork hats are optional.  Everyone must shorten their name and ensure it ends in “zza” - Bazza, Mazza, Dazza, Shazza, Kezza, Wozza, Bozza, Ezza, and so forth.  All locations must end in “O”  or “A”- Carlo, Paddo, etc- We are far too busy escaping from drop bears and the many poisonous snakes and spiders that like to live in hotels frequented by tourists to properly pronounce place names!!

      We wont get an opportunity like this again people!  I am off to buy a Kangaroo!

    • Aussie Chick says:

      11:42pm | 06/12/10

      Ahhh! The quintessential and universal Aussie in-joke; the drop-bear. Known to all Australians, it unites us against the common foe; the clueless American.

      Fair dinkum, dead-set, true story…I was stopped in a Canberra supermarket by an American tourist (yep, a tourist in Canberra—you just know it is gonna end in tears) and we were engaged in conversation. Like most Yanks he was cheerful, friendly and exuded too much of that Land-of-the-Naive-and-Home-of-the-Vague so it was just a opportunity that presented itself. Naturally,I thought I’d have a lend of the bloke and warn him about the dangers of drop-bears. He seemed skeptical until I grabbed a passing random stranger (that is, random in the traditional sense of the word and, not , like, soooooo, like “totally random” doods) and said “eh mate, them drop bears. Dangerous buggers eh?”  The stranger’s facial expression metamorphosed from ‘slight-irritation’ to ‘very-serious’ and he enthusiastically launched into a lecturing homily on the dangers of the drop bear launching on unwary visitors who dared to embrace the perils of the Aussie outback.

      Once the American tourist seemed suitably impressed I began to toy with introducing another dangerous creature, the hoop snake….

    • grumpy old man says:

      08:45am | 07/12/10

      Gotta love them drop bears, my son and I convinced a soon to be tourist from ..you guessed it! ... that they should make sure they got their drop bear anti venom shots before leaving the States, because they were more expensive in Australia.
      would have loved to have been the fly on the wall when they went to their doctors!

    • G says:

      11:39am | 07/12/10

      I only recently realised that some bears can actually climb trees… and that Aussies are not immune to attacks from bears… WTF happened???  LOL..

      Furthermore I had the displeasure of having a Mocha from a McCafe yesterday… it tasted like I would imagine pashing Anna Bligh would be like…. Farkin’ awful!  Carrie Bickmore must frequent there with the other air-heads from the Circle, I particularly hate the fat one who overcompensates by slanging subtle insults at men.

    • Caroline says:

      01:15pm | 06/12/10

      The ad is just embarassing.

    • rohan says:

      01:18pm | 06/12/10

      this article goes well with the article about the bogans and provides a very good perception of what the majority of people are…

    • Jack says:

      01:20pm | 06/12/10

      As I walked past a dozen McDonalds, KFC and Hungry Jacks stores from on the way back from lunch, I couldnt help but notice that your comments about ‘loads of American fast food chains fail here’ and ‘most Australians think that American food blah blah’ were both insightful and accurate.

      Wait, those are all Australian, right?

    • Puncher says:

      01:23pm | 06/12/10

      McCafe is just another cafe in my opinion and I like the fact that it was conceived in Australia, I own a cafe business and I still go there occasionally to meet up with friends because it’s an easy to identify meeting point.

      I won’t eat any of the muffins or scones from there but there’s nothing wrong with their bloody coffee. The automated coffee machines at the McDonalds that don’t have McCafes is however another story, that stuff makes me twitch

    • BarryO says:

      02:25pm | 06/12/10

      Easy to identify meeting place??

      So are brothels. They’ve got big numbers on the front of them.

    • nosthow says:

      04:41pm | 06/12/10

      @BarryO - you seem to know Baz - how is the old “Dungeon Room” these days fella ?  haahhhhh

    • iansand says:

      01:43pm | 06/12/10

      The ad is directed at people from the USA and was (presumably) aired in the USA.  They will find it very comforting to know that they can eat at MickeyDs in Australia.  I have had Americans ask me that very question, not out of curiosity but as something that was worrying them about coming here.

      They are funny people.

    • Mick says:

      01:43pm | 06/12/10

      I actually watched this show and can tell you they made no effort to hide the fact it was a promo. Out of Carrie Bickmore’s taped segment, whcih included the McCafe plug, Oprah delivered the delightful news that she had free chicken wraps (or something) that were sold in Oz (who’d know?) and were available for a limited time in the US. It was an ad, no different to the entire series of The Block or an endless number of shows. No big deal.

    • Anne says:

      03:21pm | 06/12/10

      Spot on, Mick.  At the first mention of McCafe as a “hip place” I was puzzled but figured it was probably part of a McD’s promo.  As soon as they came back, sure enough “you all get a Chicken McWrap and Frappe” (cue audience squeals). 

      Saying all Australians hang out at McCafe (which *is* an Australian innovation, btw) is like saying all Americans eat at diners or all Irish love Guinness.  Sure, a lot do but there’s an awful lot that don’t.  For us, McCafe is where we go when a) we’re travelling and don’t know/can’t find a decent local cafe or b) we want to get out of the house but the kids are too rowdy to sit nicely in a cafe *without* a playground.

    • Mick says:

      09:15pm | 06/12/10

      c) When you reach the monthly broadband allowance and are feeling cheap - while secretly quite pumped about the prospect of hashbrowns being so close to hand. Pretty sure Oprah tried that diet once.

    • Sonia Woodward says:

      01:44pm | 06/12/10

      The only time I have hungout at Maccas was when my internet was down. Free wi-fi. I guess its completely Australian to want free stuff but I certainly didnt hang there for the ambience

    • sally says:

      05:24pm | 06/12/10

      Same same. Once while using the wifi (which is painfully slow) I actually ordered a coffee. Worst coffee ever that actually made me start to believe in the existence of a devil. It tasted like what I imagine Yaks urine would.

    • Richard says:

      01:59pm | 06/12/10

      According to my personal tastes, the coffee from McCafe is currently the second shittest available in Australia, worsted only by the sour, burnt, gritty rubbish served up by Gloria Jeans. I’m not discriminating against Americans either, I consider Starbucks coffee quite passable. Given the choice though, my favourite amongst the all the different franchise chains is definitely Qld’s own Zarraffas.

    • Brother Dazza says:

      03:41pm | 06/12/10

      Yeah verily thy speaks the truth brother.

      Amen

    • Rossco says:

      02:03pm | 06/12/10

      Oprah and McCafe’s have something in common, both are full of shit.

    • Nate says:

      02:46pm | 06/12/10

      I actually cringed when I saw this on the “Oprah Countdown” last week. The fact that I can’t stand Carrie Bickmore aside, I was embarrassed when I saw the segment on how Aussies just love to sip gourmet coffee at… excuse me? McDonald’s…? And what was with the stock file footage of Australian businessmen sitting in a McCafe holding a meeting over coffee… it looked like it was from 1982! Mind you, I guess if they had shown our real love affair of Australians standing around in pubs, Oprah would have been accused of portraying all Aussies as drunks or gambling addicts. In the end, it’s probably not a big deal, but I guess I just found it a little insulting that she couldn’t do her own research on Australian cuisine or culture, and instead relied upon McDonald’s (and their money) to tell her what we like.

    • John says:

      02:49pm | 06/12/10

      Whats a ‘Mcaffe’?

    • Oli says:

      02:54pm | 06/12/10

      I’m impressed with the hyperbole - I’m confident no one in America will remember nor care the McCaf’e comment… the fact we are making such a big deal about it reveals our true persona of an America Pandering, desperate for approval ugly cousin nation…

    • tcm says:

      03:00pm | 06/12/10

      Aaaaaahhh !! McDonalds…

      6 Trillion Hamburgers a day and not one that actually tastes of anything !!!

    • DailyMagnet says:

      03:06pm | 06/12/10

      They make a great mocha soy Frappe. They’re ok Anthony, but you’re right, the cheesoid marketing isn’t really that palatable.

    • Tash says:

      03:16pm | 06/12/10

      First that terrible FIFA campaign, now this… Australia - you’re really doing well for yourself! Selling you body and soul this way to an international market is not going to do you the wonders that you’re originally known for… Get back out in the bush! Take the ‘barbie’ and hit the beach - just do something normal and natural without a GODAMN celebrity!
      Only then - perhaps. Maybe. Possibly, if we’re lucky. Will we get back to the ‘true blue’!

    • Duane says:

      03:21pm | 06/12/10

      Does anyone realise that the very first McCafe was in Melbourne?

    • debbie says:

      03:31pm | 06/12/10

      Who is this bloody oprah sheila anyway ? I’ve heard of mccafe before ..

    • Saly says:

      03:39pm | 06/12/10

      I like to think that most Australians can spot propaganda and advertising which has been slotted into a program. Most americans will be aware that it was just a blatant plug. They probably weren’t listening to it as they would have been focusing on Carrie Bickmores shiny head and wondering why Helen Keller did her makeup.

    • cretin says:

      03:45pm | 06/12/10

      Americans are just screwed up in general,.. and this oprah comment is just more evidence to justify the point.

      A little example:
      One of my uncles (dads brother) lives in the USA - they both left the homeland in 1972.  Since then my father has visited him three times, though he had never visited Australia.  He says its too far (despite being the same distance we travel to visit him). 
      The worst part though is that being a huge (not literally huge) armchair fan of Steve Irwin,.. he plans one day to travel to QLD to visit “Australia Zoo”,.. but not to Sydney to visit his own brother. 
      How screwed up must your head be to adopt such an attitude?!?!

      After my last visit to the USA,.. i came back affirmed in my belief that americans are screwed up,...  and was sooooo thankful that my just as f&cked; up uncles/cousins were on the other side of the world and far away from me!!!!
      smile

    • ed says:

      03:54pm | 06/12/10

      Dear Oprah, wanna be local and still go to maccas? i have the solution. hang out with me and my mates drinking beer all day in the sun, maybe we will play some bowls, go for a swim and have a barbie. then when it hits 3am when we get turfed from the pub and the kebab shop is closed then we can go to maccas. not a second before!

    • david says:

      04:07pm | 06/12/10

      So what is the problem - australian stereotypes or the implied australian connection to american stereotypes?

      If you were to review your impressions of other countries, they would prove to be just as generalised, inaccurate and outdated. Spanish bullfighters and flamenco dancers anyone? How about Swiss bankers and watchmakers…oh and the chocolate. Kiwis and sheep? Guess what - we know little of who they really are…and millions of them also go to maccas.

      Australians love to celebrate the exportation of ‘australian culture’ but find themselves very aggressive toward other cultures that venture here - even for a visit. As these posts highlight, we fall back on all of the old sterotypes - apply it to everyone who lives there and then shut our minds down. It’s amazing that ‘a fair go’ is part of our stereotype…or are we the only ones that think that?

    • Mark says:

      04:20pm | 06/12/10

      Light weight stuff Anthony and very lazy. An easy target and a quick buck for you (Bichmore probably thought the same thing). Realistically, it was a paid advertorial that we see all the time. Given they gave out Macca’s products to the audience that day even the dumbest of Americans would have seen through it as an add. If you want to have a go at cringeworthy television and portraying a bad image to the rest of the world, have a go at channel 9 and the cricket coverage. Its highly cringeworthy to hear Ritchie Benaud talk about this weeks CSI program and Tony rabbit on about the odds on sports bet.

    • mike j says:

      05:52pm | 06/12/10

      Yeah, but does Ritchie say: “ALL AUSTRALIANS watch CSI because it is in no way boring, predictable crime voyeurism for the masses”?

      Pretty sure he doesn’t. Pick a better analogy next time.

    • MarK says:

      07:00pm | 06/12/10

      OMFG Ant Mark has got you. He has uncovered your trickery. How dare you as a journalist with a job DARE to have the hide to earn money by writing stories.

      FFS man wtf are you thinking. trying to earn money at your job.

      Bloody dodgy stuff Ant dodgy stuff, shame on you

    • stephen says:

      05:39pm | 06/12/10

      A lot of notes from caves on this site today.
      If you really want to attack America, go for its’ level-crossing accidents : There’s a lot of trains over there and not enough signals.
      (Maccas don’t deserve so much venom. A meat patty on a sesame-seed bun is not an article of war.)

    • mike j says:

      05:55pm | 06/12/10

      I refuse to eat at Macdonalds or Carrie Bickmore ever again.

    • LegalEagle says:

      01:50pm | 07/12/10

      Can you eat Carrie Bickmore?

    • nosthow says:

      07:42pm | 06/12/10

      Over $3000 worth of free gifts give away on todays Ellen Degeneres show - come on fellas lets do something like that in Australia ! First thing of course we need is a star ? mmmmm Someone sexy and who can carry a show - no one comes to mind - I know Tony Abbott after he leaves politics - just the guy ! Now who said I am cruel to Tony ?

    • Big Ed says:

      08:07pm | 06/12/10

      Australians are great at sport and can accomplish the most incredible feats, as demonstrated here; taking a jab at other countries (America appears to top that list) whilst carrying a giant chip on their own shoulder. Amazing. Perhaps Oprah can feature a segment on that.

    • Servaas says:

      11:25pm | 06/12/10

      Aah Oprah. Sad lady, been hurt more thatn once in her life and utterly confused. Hope all the crazy ladies worshipping her wake up come 2011.

    • PP says:

      04:18am | 07/12/10

      Aussies are so full of themselves they actually think that other people really give a damn whether this place sinks or swims.  One also has to be very small minded indeed to identify your culture with drinking coffee.  And on that subject, get me a good cup of coffee - not that Aussie crap loaded with sweet milk that gives you the equivalent of Delhi belly.  When I can get a great cup of coffee that is percolated with the right choice of beans and freshly brewed, then Aussies will have tasted a good coffee.  There is a reason why coffee Luwak is so expensive.  And funny that - you don’t put warm milk in it!

    • Drew(Darlinghurst) says:

      08:18am | 07/12/10

      Dont tell me about Coffee im from the Political Left

      Oh I’m also a resident of the Inner City

      I also vote Green in the Upper House

      And I’m as CAMP as Christmas.

      As Oprah would say….YOU GO GIRL !!!! raspberry

    • Tim Chapman says:

      08:45am | 07/12/10

      If only we’d mentioned the McCafe’s in the world cup bid!

    • JulesG says:

      09:36am | 07/12/10

      Inviting these American idiots down here is like giving yourself a frontal lobotomy with a cold chisel and a lump hammer! They can’t even point to Australia on the map. What’s worse, they’ll go away and tell the world what Australia is like after a 3 week visit and it will be the most jaundiced, screwed up epistle that the rest of the world will swallow and it will bear no resemblance to how Australia actually is. They have the potential to do Australia real harm and the young Oprahites will think its all gospel and it must be true. Where is the Australian publicity machine in all this? Why is the government not putting forward a delegation or welcoming committee so that these brainwashed, narrow minded, closeted Americans can get a true picture of just how wonderful Australia really is and more importantly how much better than America it is.

    • JulesG says:

      11:41am | 07/12/10

      Op - RAH! Isn’t that how Australians pronounce opera? Just a thought.

    • Miss N says:

      11:48am | 07/12/10

      I couldn’t get to my local McCafe today as there were too many kangaroos hopping around the place, dingo’s wandering around looking for babies and koalas creeping around looking cute. So I grabbed the bloke who was with me and decided to go home to crack a beer and have a shag instead. That’s just the kind of sheila I am!

      That chick (?Carrie) who advertised all this crap to the yanks should have to answer to this. Bloody oxygen thief!

      PLEASE don’t come to South Australia Oprah! As far as the rest of the country is concerned there is nothing to see here ;0)

    • PP says:

      02:14pm | 07/12/10

      On the last point there is agreement!

    • Bill Goodall says:

      04:30pm | 07/12/10

      I can remember McCafe when he played for Glasgow Celtic.

    • Angie says:

      05:39pm | 07/12/10

      I question this article and its inner city mindset, consistent with the author’s own bio on Punch. I looked at the McCafe link in the story and saw an OK list of cakes, lamingtons even, and I know that McCafe does perfectly fine short blacks as well as the sort of stuff teenagers prefer (competing with Starbucks). So a sponsored segment on Oprah marketed McCafe - so should we deport Oprah and the company to the gulags? I’m sure the lamb and mangoes will feature on her show soon - she just got here. Chill out, media people, and be relaxed australians instead of writing brittle NY-style attack pieces. (I lhave no connection with McCafe other than occasionally visiting one.)

 

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