Hi. Sorry I’m late. Just back from the McCafe. Been hanging out there since really early this morning because, as Oprah’s American audience learned yesterday in a McDonald’s-sponsored segment, that’s what we Aussies do. All the time.

Lucky she reminded me about these “hip hangouts” really. There I was, about to buy a rack of spring lamb for dinner, and a beautiful fresh tray of Bowen mangoes for the fruit bowl, when bing! I remembered that in fact, what I actually craved, on a deeply-ingrained cultural level, was in fact that most Australian of treats, the American Choc Brownie Slice ™.
Or I don’t know, maybe some Cookies and Cream Cheesecake washed down with a caramel latte frappe, a beverage which demonstrates beyond question our love of a classic, untainted, good quality cup of real coffee.
Never mind that loads of American food franchises have failed here, like Baskin Robbins and Starbucks and most recently, Krispy Kreme, or that most Australians believe that American food looks and tastes like horse shit. As Oprah has reminded us in her timely pre-Christmas message, McCafe is where the true blue come to affirm our Australianness.
It is, in short, our national tuckerbox. It is the hub of our dreaming. Uluru, eat your red heart out.
Thanks to Oprah, Americans now understand that hanging out at McCafe is as Aussie as building a billycart to race down Bondi Road with your mates while yelling Oi! Oi! Oi!
Gosh darn it – oops, I mean fair dinkum – I could seriously go one of those mochafrappawhackasmackacino thingies right now.
Anyway, that’ll do for now. Like I said, just popped into the office to remind y’all of one of the unique aspects of Australian culture which Oprah is set to showcase to the world this week. Popping out again now. To McCafe, of course.
And if any of you think this is some kind of ill-conceived attempt at humour, let me assure you this is deadly serious. Australians are McCafe. McCafe is Australia.
As Shane Warne himself tweeted yesterday “Did everyone in Australia go to mcdonalds between 11-12 this morning for free chicken Mcbites… How good are they ?? Amazing ...”
You can’t tell me a deadset Aussie icon like him would tweet something like that if it wasn’t representative of our true blue culture. We should just count ourselves lucky that someone of Oprah’s influence is out here this week doing likewise.
Facebook Recommendations
Read all about it
Punch live
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
Greece makes the final and Ireland gets in on a golden ticket. How awkward and embarrassing. Love it. #sbseurovision
The weird thing about #eurovision is you've got this massive collection of dorks in a room and no one is wearing Spock ears #sbseurovision
Europe has the large hadron collider which is light years ahead of its time and #eurovision, where the eighties never die
Recent posts
The latest and greatest
Eurovision can’t drown out the human rights abuses
Last year, thousands of Azerbaijanis spontaneously took to the streets of Baku shouting and chanting.…
Revenge. It doesn’t get a whole lot better than this
Last month, Katy McCaffrey boarded the Disney Wonder cruiseliner. At some point during the trip, a sneaky…
Friday dilemma: can school bullies grow out of it?
ClubsNSW is set to introduce a fresh new effort to combat schoolyard intimidation, insisting on a principal’s…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments
Michael S says:
"A teacher at Geelong Grammar had criticised her for using words that were too long, which had left her confused and had made her doubt her ability to write essays. She became ''quite distressed'' when her English marks began to fall." I can sympathise. My scholastic mentors conveyed to me a causal relationship… [read more]From: Welfare for breeders is a bonus for everyone
Change Up! says:
I have no problem paying my taxes. As a single, childless person on a very decent income, I can afford it and not have my life severely altered. Plus I understand that my taxes paying for things like schools, childcare and infrastructure is ultimately a good thing. A better community is better for me… [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments
A private school girl’s family is sueing her elite, extremely expensive private school for not… Read more
Most commented