Friday’s dilemma: My friend is a liar, should I ditch her?
Can you really call someone a friend if they lie to you all the time? I’m starting to wonder if a once-close friend is now worth having at all. It’s not like they’re big or crazy lies, they’re just a series of continuous small ones about silly little life things (work, friendships, money) but they’re starting to add up and it’s driving me crazy. Actually, it’s making me upset.
It all started about a year ago when I made a big change in my life with my husband. At first it felt like she was keeping her distance from me, our conversations became less regular and things felt strained. But when I asked her about what she might be feeling, she’d just make up an excuse or tell me I was imagining it. One year on though and it’s starting to be confusing. Especially as I keep finding out through one way or the other (including sometimes from her partner) that what she tells me is actually not the truth.
Lately it’s started to make me feel depressed. I love this friend and we’ve shared some great times but I feel like I can’t trust her at all and I’m frustrated that she won’t share the real reason she is being distant with me.
I have tried many things to get things off my chest. But she doesn’t seem to respond to that, either. If I email her and ask her for her real opinion, she tells me everything is fine. Once, after several glasses of wine, I decided to confront her about the lies, but she reacted badly, refused to speak to me and ended up telling me the problems were all mine.
Is she right? Am I being paranoid or should I just walk away from our friendship? At the moment I feel like I’m not getting anything good from it at all.
Can you help this reader? Post your advice below.
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