Friday dilemma: Responding to a well-meaning stranger

dancan says:

11:37am | 09/03/12

how incredibly rude, ignoring someone who’s just being nice.

A simple smile and thanks is enough

Guran says:

12:33pm | 09/03/12

The magnitude of your gratitude (or, as I like to call it, your “gratagnitude”) should be proportional to how embarrassed you would be about whatever was pointed out had it not been pointed out.  Example: if your pants are meant to be tucked into your socks, a simple “thanks, but I like them that way” will do, or you could get away with a mere shrug, if anything at all.  If, however, the tucked in pants would mark you as a cyclist amongst a rabidly anti-cyclist clique, with whom you are about to lunch and with whom you would like to maintain appearances, a heartfelt thanks and possibly a hug would seem in order.

Jasmine says:

12:46pm | 09/03/12

Tell your wife and get her to tell the chick. You wouldn’t have been the only one to notice, surely.

I’d be grateful if someone told me I was embarrassing myself in some way like that. I’ve told someone their skirt was tucked up after a visit to the loo, before she left the room, and I’ve suggested someone wiped their left nostril. Both were received well.

amy says:

01:00pm | 09/03/12

I would probably just say thanks and then find somwhere to crawl into and hide

Lauren says:

01:17pm | 09/03/12

Once when I was 14, a friend and I were at a local music festival, and noticed a girl behind us was sitting with half her boob hanging out. My friend went and politely informed her, only to have the same girls (who were about 17/18) come up to us about 10 minutes later and say to my friend in a sarcastic tone “just wanted to let you know your skirt is way too short, you skank” before walking away. Looking back now I think the half-exposed-boob look was no accident :-|

A few years ago my then boyfriend and I were standing in line at the supermarket and without me noticing he clipped the little rope they use to shut off checkouts to the back of my jeans. There were about 5 people behind us, all of whom burst out laughing when I went to walk forward and couldn’t. Hilarious joke I understand, but fairly embarrassing at the same time!

Wynston Cruso says:

01:46pm | 09/03/12

I think I’ve avoided doing anything like leaving my fly undone or having toilet paper attached to my shoe since I was like, I dunno, 6. If someone has some embarrassing shit goin on, I generally don’t tell them for my own sick amusement, as nature intended we act towards stupid people.

Bman says:

01:53pm | 09/03/12

People react to embarassing moments in different ways.  They maybe very greatful but their brains lockup at the time, so it seems like their ignoring you.

The few times i’ve seen and told someone about an issue like that, i’m not doing it for the thanks, i’m doing it because i know i’d want someone to tell me if the roles were reversed.

Gladys says:

02:24pm | 09/03/12

No. This is not a dilemma. The dilemma is do you tell people when they have loo paper on their shoe or their fly is undone.

Like yesterday. I was sitting at a bus stop when a person who had truly enjoyed 60s and 70s just a bit too much, came up to me and stood in front of me with his fly undone. It wasn’t deliberate, his t-shirt was hanging over it and you always know when someone is flashing you deliberately.

But he wasn’t a sane person. Even I could tell that.

Do you say, “I’m very sorry the police framed you for drug possession and much of your life was ruined because of those 7 years in Boggo Road, but your fly is undone?”

Or do you avert your eyes and smile and nod?

the cynic says:

03:01pm | 09/03/12

Just ignore them, if they are that dumb enough that they can’t sort their own life out why help them.  Learnt this lesson of not interfering many years ago back in the late sixties.  I had dropped some coins in some blokes tin outside Flinders st station because he was an ex digger and I was in uniform. The money hadn’t hit the bottom before he assailed me after commenting on my red infantry shoulder patches , he yelled at me for being a murderer and shitbag because I was serving a government he obviously hated as they had wronged him somehow. Things got really bad when I grabbed his tin cup, took back a handfull of my coins and told him to f off.

Matt says:

03:34pm | 09/03/12

Slow news day, Punch?

stephen says:

04:49pm | 09/03/12

I was at Melbourne Airport a few years ago and I spotted a bloke walking around with about 10 feet of dunny paper hanging back out of his strides.
He’d obviously laid the stuff on the toilet seat to get a clean ‘response’ - ‘obvious’, because I do the same thing myself - anyway, I laughed out loud, his girlfriend said ‘whataryou laughing at ?’ ... told her, she started laughing and pointing at his backside, the airport practically was in hysterics by this time, he was still unaware of what the joke was until a cleaner just happened by and made a grab for the offending tail ... and then it was over.

He and she walked away arm in arm, laughing.
True story, and I wish I had videoed it.

Leggy says:

09:35pm | 11/03/12

No dilemma - a smile and an “Oh, thanks” is fine. They’re trying to be nice.

I used to have a skirt with decorative seams on the outside and whenever a woman commented on it, it was to say how much she liked it; whenever a man commented, it was to ask if I knew that my skirt was inside out. I’d proceed to tell him that story and joke about the mysteries of fashion, and then we’d both have a laugh.