Anonymous says:

Invitation for one

My friend has just sent out invitations for her December wedding but it only has my name on it. I’ve been in an on-again, off-again kind of relationship for the past six months but would really like to bring my partner. Is it OK for me to ring and ask my friend if she’ll extend the invitation to two? And what do I do if she says no?

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    • SAm says:

      12:33pm | 28/09/12

      no, you cant bring last nights root

    • AFR says:

      12:59pm | 28/09/12


      It doesn’t matter whether you have been together for 2 days or 2 years, it’s not your place to ask.

      Besides, who wants to take their partner to a wedding, especially if they won’t know many people? Wedding are boring enough as it is….

    • Budz says:

      01:35pm | 28/09/12

      @AFR: If you reckon weddings are boring, you have been to the wrong kids. I reckon the actual ceremony can be boring, but I love a good reception!

      I actually asked a mate if I could bring the Mrs as we haven’t been together for that long and the wedding invitations were sent out ages ago. Got the go ahead, made easier by the fact it’s a cocktail where seats don’t need to be organised, plus another mate broke up with his GF recently so there was a spare spot!

    • AFR says:

      02:02pm | 28/09/12

      Unfortunately there is the ceremony, milling around whilst the couple gets their photos done, small talk with randoms you pretend to want to know, and speeches… somewhere around 10pm when all the crap is out of the way, it gets interesting.

      Last wedding I went to was in Acapulco. Around midnight they introduced a trolley to the middle of the dance floor covered in about 300 tequila shots - now that’s my style of wedding!

    • Amused Qld says:

      05:55pm | 28/09/12

      Basically (and crassly) you are correct Sam.  If the Author had ever organised a wedding she would realise the most difficult part ( IMO) is making up the guest list.  You do the list, then start chopping, then add someone you have forgotten, then chop again.  It takes quite a long time to get the final list and the number of guests is what actually decides the final people invited.  If they were able, your friend would perhaps have been included. But in saying that, if someone drops off, you always have somebody on the chop list that you are agonising over and could then include.  Please dont ask and embarrass both your host and yourself , it is extremely bad manners and makes things very awkward.

    • Al says:

      12:38pm | 28/09/12

      This is very simple.
      1) Ask.
      2) If they say no then make the choice as to whether you wish to attend alone or not attend at all.
      I don’t see the dilemma?

    • mark says:

      12:38pm | 28/09/12

      your invited. either you go alone, or you dont go simple.

    • Matt says:

      12:34pm | 28/09/12

      Your on again off again boyfriend of 6 months?
      To your friends wedding?
      You want them to pay $200 for your boyfriend whom you’re with this week to eat and drink with them? Have they even met him?
      You shouldn’t even ask, your relationship is not serious enough for them to have to double the guest list.

    • PW says:

      03:13pm | 28/09/12

      $200 a head?

      They are getting married in the wrong country.

      My wedding reception cost $600 for 60 people (this year) and the party afterwards $30 for Red Horse. It was quite a shindig. Didn’t get many pressies but who cares.

    • Amused Qld says:

      05:58pm | 28/09/12

      I agree Matt, the expense is huge, and it is extremely bad manners to even ask.  Its not a back yard barbie, all different then.

    • KH says:

      12:35pm | 28/09/12

      ‘On again off again “kind of” relationship’ - is this person serious?  The people getting married would have put the invitation on facebook if they wanted randoms attending.  Weddings are expensive - paying for someone who isn’t even a fixture in a friends life is just stupid - especially when on the day, the ‘relationship’ could be ‘off’.  Whoever wrote this question, go alone or don’t go at all.  Maybe your on/off friend will hang out with you.  Or maybe they won’t.  I guess it depends on how the wind is blowing that day, apparently.

    • Rebecca says:

      12:42pm | 28/09/12

      Err, no. You have been invited, and only you.

      If your friend had wanted your partner there, their name would have been on the invitation too.

    • BC says:

      12:44pm | 28/09/12

      I have to say, this is a pet peeve of mine - guests trying to determine who gets invited to a wedding.  It’s the same as people who demand to bring their kids. You can ask but be prepared for her to say no. Then you have to decide if you want to go solo or not.

      Sadly,  weddings aren’t cheap and it’s likely the couple have made a considered decision not to invite your partner. It’s not necessarily because they don’t like them, I’m tipping that within their limited headcount they have other friends/family members who they’d rather celebrate with. Surely you can bear to be apart for one night?

    • Shane* says:

      12:42pm | 28/09/12

      As someone who’s recently organised a wedding: No freaking way.

      A six-month old “on again, off again type of relationship”? That is WAY below the cutoff for inviting partners. The only possible way that this would be acceptable is if your partner is well and truly in the same friendship group you share with the bride. Judging by what you’ve said, it doesn’t sound like your partner fits that description. You’re flying solo.

      And don’t ring, it’ll just cause headaches during an already stressful time.

    • Tim says:

      12:44pm | 28/09/12

      On-again off-again relationship for 6 months?

      So you’ve been sleeping with someone for sex months right?

      Puleasse, I’d uninvite you if you thought that it was reasonable for your partner (LOL) to come.

    • Elphaba says:

      12:46pm | 28/09/12

      “I’ve been in an on-again, off-again kind of relationship for the past six months but would really like to bring my partner.”

      This is the key sentence.  Weddings are expensive, and most couples are operating on a strict budget.  If you were married, or had been together for longer than six months, and been together that whole time, not just on-again, off-again, then you might have some wiggle room.

      As it stands, you’ve admitted your relationship is unstable, and the bride probably didn’t invite the partner because she probably wasn’t sure you’d be ‘on’ again by the big day.

      Ask if you want, but I wouldn’t.  The wedding isn’t about you and your maybe, ‘kind-of’ relationship.  If she says no, you have two choices - go, or don’t.  I’d be letting go of this hiccup, go along to the wedding, celebrate your friend’s big day, and think about yourself afterwards.

    • Bitten says:

      01:08pm | 28/09/12

      Exactly. Stepping away from the cost consideration also, weddings are incredibly significant ceremonies to the participants. Being invited to witness and to join them on this day when they make that lifelong commitment to each other, is a privilege and a sign of the importance they place on their friendship with you. Your ‘on-again off-again’ partner? Not the same, mmmmmmkay? Let’s be honest, you may well be ‘off-again’ by December. Or on-again. Or maybe off-again.

      When I read stuff like this, I get depressed about how stupid people have become about normal etiquette and good manners.

    • andrew says:

      01:26pm | 28/09/12

      “if you were married” - is it ever ok to invite just a husband or the wife to a wedding? I wouldn’t have thought so

    • Elphaba says:

      02:02pm | 28/09/12

      @Bitten, so true! smile

      @andrew, no,l I wouldn’t have thought it was appropriate to invite one spouse and not the other, I guess I was just including it in my list of examples.  In hindsight, yes, that seems silly.

    • Rossco says:

      12:46pm | 28/09/12

      Weddings are expensive….if she says no….then take it as no big deal and go along. First world problem really.

    • Kika says:

      12:46pm | 28/09/12


    • Wayne says:

      01:13pm | 28/09/12

      Ask Bossy


    • Admiral Ackbar says:

      01:17pm | 28/09/12

      Not really what I’d call a dilemma is it. Either grow a pair and ask, or don’t. If she says no, suck it up. First world problems and all that.

    • Kika says:

      04:11pm | 28/09/12

      I know! What’s wrong with just simply asking your friend “Can I bring a friend?”. They are either going to say yes or no. But if you ask and they DO say yes, make sure you bring someone.

      There’s so much politics when it comes to weddings! With mine it was whether kids were invited. Some of my friends got shtty with me because their kids weren’t invited (purposefully and I didn’t suppose she wanted her kids coming given she was a bridesmaid) because my Aunty brought her 4 week old baby. Uhh… a 4 week old family member is a bit differnt to a 7 and 3 year old.

    • Bossy says:

      04:55pm | 28/09/12

      Wayne has it!
      Bossy’s paid to deal with this crap, writes way better answers, and has SarahR waiting in reserve to write 35 pars to silence all remaining dissent.

    • Tim the Toolman says:

      12:55pm | 28/09/12

      It’s fine as long as you cover the seat if your on-again turns into an off-again at short notice.  They’ll no doubt be out $100+ otherwise.

    • AA says:

      12:55pm | 28/09/12

      Are you serious? On again off again in the first 6 months means that your relationship will likely be “off again” a week after her wedding. She has every right not to invite randoms you sleep with to her wedding. Particularly when you haven’t exactly shown that you’re serious with him.  If she is your friend, go to the wedding. I wouldn’t ask to bring your partner.

    • Kerryn says:

      12:52pm | 28/09/12

      Of course ring, but if she says no the answer is no.  Don’t be nasty and not attend out of spite.  If it’s on-again/off again then who’s to say you’ll be together for the wedding anyway?

      It’s your friends wedding.  They are painful at the best of times.  Don’t add to the stress.  Is it really the end of the world if your “partner” doesn’t attend?

    • fairsfair says:

      12:58pm | 28/09/12

      I would just assume it is for two and then make sure you drop in general conversation detail about your partner attending etc.

      I think it is very rude to invite people without extending it to a +1 even when you know that they are single. Who wants to sit at a wedding on their own? You usually find someone who wants to go with you, even if it is just a friend to keep you company.

      Weddings annoy me actually. People think that they are King of everything for the months leading up like the invite is some sort of golden ticket that eveyone must fight to the death to obtain. “Oh we have to pay for the seat/meal etc…” well you expecting a f* present aren’t you?

      A friend of mine got married and it was BYO alcohol in a remote area only accessible by your own car (no bus, cabs etc). In lieu of presents they had a wishing well. Here’s $20 chumps. I really enjoyed the ceremony, but the reception was shyte.

      That is why if I ever get married it will be at the registry office. I believe in the institution of marriage, I detest weddings.

    • Elphaba says:

      01:17pm | 28/09/12

      Yup, we’re sans bride gene.  I’ve watched my friend planning her wedding and she’s doing it because the groom is more traditional than her.  Never mind that he hasn’t bothered with much input. He wants the traditional wedding, he just doesn’t want to plan it.

      I really love not having to worry about those things… wink

    • Nathan Explosion says:

      01:25pm | 28/09/12


      Well, with an attitude like that, I’m absolutley shocked you’re not married!

      You realise most receptions are about $200 a head, right?

    • AdamC says:

      01:33pm | 28/09/12

      Fairs, yours is the first comment to make sense. Last time I looked, even single people rarely attend weddings alone. I would see not receiving a +1 invitation as some sort of weird, passive aggressive frenemy-type behaviour on the part of the bride or groom.

      I think your proposed course of action is right. This Puncher should RSVP and advise who they will be bringing with them. If the Puncher’s friend says they cannot bring anyone, they should simply refuse to attend. Who wants to go to a wedding by themselves anyway?

    • fairsfair says:

      01:43pm | 28/09/12

      Yes Nathan, because not being a member of the moderm materialistic selfish generation of young women makes me a downright b*tch. The above is the reason why I don’t enjoy weddings. It is not one of the reasons (and there are many wink) that I am not married.

      I notice you use the word “married” too, which has an association with the notion of a “wedding reception”, however the former does not require the latter to make it mean anything more. If the day was about “sharing your commitment” with the people close to you, you wouldn’t be focussed on the price per head and you would want to make sure that the people you had invited enjoyed being a part of your day. Forcing a friend to sit alone at a table of (likely other single people) enjoying her “$200 worth of experience” is not very nice.

      Agreed Elph - I have no idea why people go to the extremes that they do. They hardly enjoy the process (which these days seems to start 2 years before the wedding). The modern wedding is all about making the bride look good. Which is why my friend couldn’t put on a courtesy bus to ensure her guests got home OK or provide her friends with some champagne to toast to their union, or hire a marquee in the event it rained (which it did) - yet could drop $6k on her wedding dress and was MIA from the remote location for FOUR HOURS worth of photos. 

      Call me crazy, but to me - committing to your partner is not about that.

    • TimB says:

      01:44pm | 28/09/12

      “You realise most receptions are about $200 a head, right? “

      That’s the choice of the bride (or groom), not a set rule. And you would think if they’re going to be spending a bazillion dollars on a wedding anyway an extra person here or ther isn’t likely to be a huge cost in the grand scheme of things.

      My cousin got married a few years ago in a national park & then had the reception at the local community hall. I don’t think it cost them much more than 5 grand all up and that was for well over 100 people.

    • andrew says:

      01:48pm | 28/09/12

      “That is why if I ever get married it will be at the registry office. I believe in the institution of marriage, I detest weddings.”

      this sounded identical to my partner’s attitude. Honestly it concerned me as it seemed like laziness, that she would rather just sign a piece of paper than organise a wedding - or maybe that she was not proud enough of our relationship to have a wedding ceremony -  Not really traits I was looking for in a wife. We agreed instead on a small wedding with about 40 guests, once we got the ball rolling with picking a venue, guests and celebrant she’s pretty much done the rest.

    • Budz says:

      01:48pm | 28/09/12

      I think it really depends whose wedding it is. If there are going to be a lot of your friends at the wedding and it isn’t a sit down affair (not a big fan of those), then I don’t see the issue in not inviting a +1 if they are single.

    • Tim says:

      01:58pm | 28/09/12

      I’ve got to say I find your response weird.

      Why would a couple invite a single person to their wedding with a +1?

      If I invite you its because I want you there, not some random person I may or may not have met.

      And I definitely don’t want to be paying for them.

    • fairsfair says:

      01:56pm | 28/09/12

      Hey, I appreciate that weddings represent different things to different people but the one thing I don’t do is judge the strength of a union by the wedding. I do judge people for confusing the two terms though.

      My perfect scenario would be to marry in a civil ceremony with only my partner’s and my immediate family and then go out for lunch. The next day I would throw a party at my parent’s house with all of my friends and extended family and say BTW, we just got married let me open a beer for you. I am not all about making my friends buy a new outfit, give me a gift and wait around all day for me to enter a large hall with music playing and be judged by my choice of table centrepiece. I also have no interest in looking like a pavlova for the day sat up on a stage with my minions below and posing for a photographer for hours, having a photographer there while I am trying to get dressed etc etc.

      Most people would think the above is a bogan sensation but it is actually more about the couple than a $100k wedding and it wouldn’t matter if extra people attended at short notice.

      Each to their own but I still think it is rude to invite people in singular form.

    • AFR says:

      02:03pm | 28/09/12

      “Who wants to sit at a wedding on their own? You usually find someone who wants to go with you, even if it is just a friend to keep you company.”

      Insecure, much?

    • Elphaba says:

      02:15pm | 28/09/12

      “Call me crazy, but to me - committing to your partner is not about that.”

      I agree fairs.  I don’t think one’s relationship is more valid just because you’re willing to do it in front of everyone.

      I’d go with a quick ceremony in my parents front yard, followed by a big BBQ party.  They have an enormous front deck capable of holding at least 50 people.  No suits, no shoes, no worries.  I’d do a twist on the wishing well and instead have a charity of our choice there to accept donations.

      If someone proposed to me, I would not want to spend 2 years planning the ceremony.  I’d want to be married as soon as possible.  Put a ring on my finger, be prepared to be married as soon as possible.  Why wait?

    • Bitten says:

      02:21pm | 28/09/12

      I’ve only ever been to really delightful weddings - I adore them and I’ve loved watching every one of my friends who have met the person who makes life go from a part-time game to a full-time reality make that commitment.

      And I was invited to loads of weddings by myself when I was single - why is that a problem? I enjoyed myself at weddings as a single person the same as everyone else - bit of dancing, bit of speeching, bit of chatting with parents of brides and grooms, telling the bar staff to start watering my drinks.

      Now I’m in a relationship, I’m sort of unsure whether I’ll be able to have quite as much fun at weddings - you know when you’re out with your partner at a thing for one of your friends or family and you sort of have to worry about whether they’re having a good time, keep them away from that cousin of yours they can’t stand etc etc.

    • Sam says:

      02:28pm | 28/09/12

      What is the friend has a male cousin who she thinks would be a perfect match? We invited +1 when we got married for singles, but if we really were stretching for every last seat, then only immediate family members would have been given the +1 courteousy.

      “these days seems to start 2 years before the wedding”
      That is mainly the reception venues. The busiest times are spring & autumn, so there are only 26 weddings per venue. By the time you knock out Easter, Grand Final weekend, Aunt Muriel’s 50th, friends wedding dates, etc. your choices can get quite limited.

    • Jessica says:

      04:05pm | 28/09/12

      I’m sorry, but you are complaining about the fact that your friends deigned to have a wedding that wasn’t planned around your needs… How completely inconsiderate of them. I hope next time they run all plans past you first..
      F**k me some people are self involved, and just to give you a hint… it’s not your friends

    • Kika says:

      04:13pm | 28/09/12

      I had a registry wedding. It was lovely! We got dressed up and the people were nice and welcoming. I even had bridesmaids and groomsmen. For $200.00 it was so worth it. Had my wedding certificate the next week. We splashed out on the reception. Yes, we had a wishing well but only because we have everything we needed. Someone even gave us $14.00 in cash.

      I HATE celebrants… to me they are funeral directors in happier clothes. Some friends assumed we had basically decided to ‘elope’ coz we were getting married at the registry. It wasn’t that - we just didn’t want the fuss and I detest celebrants….

    • fairsfair says:

      06:45pm | 28/09/12

      everyone had the same complaint Jessica, it wasn’t just me. I’d like to know of anyone who would think it great to make their guests miserable for hours. I certainly wouldn’t want people to leave my wedding thinking it was shit. sadly, you expect people to sit at at a table with noone they know, its likely going to be.

    • iansand says:

      07:21pm | 28/09/12

      fairs - when you get married and have to juggle the expectations of all sides and family and friends’ expectations (cousin Little Cat A will be expecting to come, which means we have to ask cousins Little Cats B, C and K)) when the venue only has room for 68 people you will begin to understand.  I don’t know about your friends, but most people don’t get married under a tarp in a cow paddock.  Who is in and out on the guest list is the hardest, and most divisive, part of any wedding preparation.  Even the seating plan is easy after that.

    • Luthien Nienna says:

      01:00pm | 28/09/12

      Do you want your boy to attend the wedding or the reception?

      Call to ask if she minds him escorting you to the wedding part, but I would not ask for a seat at the reception for him… Unless you are offering to pay for him to attend. Weddings & receptions are expensive, and spots can be limited.

      If you are on again/off again your friend is obviously not up for risking a chicken or beef dinner, extending her invite just to you.

    • wearestardust says:

      12:56pm | 28/09/12

      Ask, and if they say no, go by yourself.

      But perhaps, being a bloke, there are subtleties I don’t understand.

    • Laura says:

      12:58pm | 28/09/12

      No, weddings cost a fortune. The bride would have picked a venue, Know how many seats she can fill and have invited those she feels need to go. She will also have a list of others to invite if people RSVP that they can’t attend.

      An on/off again relationship may be off by the time of the wedding and then she would have lost a seat that she could have invited someone else to sit in. A wedding is a very important moment in a couples life, be thankful that they want to share it with you rather than being a pain.

      If you don’t like it, don’t go.

    • Jenna Felicity says:

      03:52pm | 28/09/12

      Best, even?

      Friday fuzzies.

    • Paul says:

      12:59pm | 28/09/12

      Yes it’s OK to call and ask BUT remember that the primary factor in your partner having not been asked in the first place is cost.

      The cost per person at a wedding is usually around $80-150 (although it can be substantially more, depending on venue) which, when you add in all the other costs associated (clothes, dj, honeymoon etc) makes this the most expensive event of your friends’ life.  He/she has probably spent hours pouring over who can be left out (“Do we REALLY have to invite Aunt Jan… I never really got on with her”).

      Remember also that if your friend could have JUST one more person attend it is unlikely that this person would be your partner… They will probably agree to it (if you tell them the relationship is serious), but you should respect their wishes if they say no… and never bring it up again (It’s their wedding and an on-again, off-again relationship is by no means a serious thing to an outsider.. regardless of what you think).

      As a test as to whether you should ask… Are you prepared to pay for your partner?  If you don’t think it’s worth paying $100 for, then you shouldn’t be asking your friend to pay that just so you can have a fun night out!

    • Gianna says:

      01:11pm | 28/09/12

      I just simply wouldn’t go.  It’s an awful feeling being alone at a wedding reception.  Have been there in a similar situation, and was sorry I went.

    • Bitten says:

      02:31pm | 28/09/12

      I don’t understand this perspective. I’ve been to many weddings by myself and had a great time at all of them. It’s not like it’s a pair of strangers getting married - they’re your friends or your family, you interact with them socially in other contexts, surely? What makes the wedding different or more difficult, other than how you choose to feel about it?

      If anything, I wonder now about taking my boyfriend to my brother’s wedding next year - I’m still going to enjoy myself obviously, but will be conscious of making sure my dad doesn’t say anything too upsetting (dad is a bit of a douche) and that my boyfriend doesn’t get baled up by elderly relatives asking too many questions about his job etc. Previously I was totally footloose and fancy free at weddings, now I’m going to be worrying about whether someone else is having a good time - boo!

    • Zeta says:

      01:10pm | 28/09/12

      Wait, people are still having weddings? I thought socially responsible straight people were all holding off until Adam, Steve, and Fido could get hitched.

      I’ve been telling my partner that the wedding industry is actually on strike until the gays can get married as a means of putting off any commitment.

    • Bitten says:

      02:19pm | 28/09/12

      Awesome article in a Vanity Fair recently about how gay marriage is needed to de-naff the wedding industry and finally make weddings chic smile

    • Sarah says:

      01:16pm | 28/09/12

      Ummm - No!! I have just been married and doing to list is the hardest part. I am sure your friend has a maybe list and would prefer one of these people to attend rather than your on again off again boyfriend

    • maus says:

      01:14pm | 28/09/12

      Don’t ask. It’s rude and will make the bride and groom uncomfortable if they say ‘no’ and resentful if they say ‘yes’. It’s not an oversight. If he was invited, he would have been invited.

    • Shane* says:

      01:43pm | 28/09/12



    • Hopium says:

      03:33pm | 28/09/12

      Agree. Asking is not cool dude.

      Suck it up princess!

    • Hopium says:

      03:28pm | 28/09/12

      Agree. Asking is not cool dude.

      Suck it up princess!

    • andrew says:

      01:22pm | 28/09/12

      I’d say no harm in asking. I recently invited a friend to our upcoming wedding who wasn’t originally invited, but we have had a couple of cancellations / maybe’s. We figured someone may as well turn up since it’s all paid for anyway. She asked me can she bring along a mutual friend, and I said sure, why not.

      My girlfriend was invited to a friend’s wedding when we had only been dating a month or so, and the wedding was 5 months away. She put me down as her +1 and that worked out ok.

    • Cameron says:

      01:28pm | 28/09/12

      Have your partner and bride met??
      If so, why dont you just ask on behalf of your partner, saying that they really want to share in your special day (of course happy to pay).
      That way you’re asking on behalf of your partner and not you.
      And if she say’s ‘no’ it wont be awkward. Whatever the answer, you can just say ‘cool ill let them know’.
      End of story…


    • BJA says:

      01:37pm | 28/09/12

      Put that back in the envelope and mark RTS.

    • Alfie says:

      01:46pm | 28/09/12

      Go, but make sure your get really pissed and make a ‘scene’ they will never forget.

    • Sickemrex says:

      02:01pm | 28/09/12

      On/off, probably not worth the waves caused by asking. Having been brushed from a wedding despite living with my now husband for 5 years I see your point, but I don’t think I’d get my knickers in a twist about an uncommitted relationship. People do weddings in all sorts of ways. Ours was on a farm with economic caterings, all partners invited and everyone had a blast, or so they tell me. Weddings costing $200 a head are a different matter.

    • sami says:

      02:11pm | 28/09/12

      Errr obviously not.

      Do you know how much it costs per person at a wedding? Do you know that if you’re already on/off before the 6 month mark it is not a serious relationship? They probably assume you’ll rsvp yes to 2 and then break up again the day before and waste their money.

      It’s one day, I think you’ll bloody survive without your partner.

    • nihonin says:

      02:15pm | 28/09/12

      A true Narcissist would only ever have 1 person turn up at their own wedding!

    • Gregg says:

      02:46pm | 28/09/12

      There’s no law against you asking but just some commonsense to apply.
      As some others have pointed out, reception costs aren’t all that cheap and the bride may likely be working to restricted numbers as is usually the case, his and her sides etc.
      So make your decision accordingly and if you do ring, do not be surprised if she explains or is uncomfortable on the subject, not I expect what you want to do.

      As for going single, it’s a modern very singulars society we have these days and you never know it could be that the perfect partner is there for you as well, maybe even as a single!

      So no dilemma, just make your decision and forget all the crap that some people either believe in or do not believe in.

    • Mum of a soccer player says:

      02:57pm | 28/09/12

      Holy Cow can’t you walk into a room by yourself.

    • Super D says:

      03:04pm | 28/09/12

      You could offer to pay for your date’s spot.  After all whats to say that come the wedding day you won’t be in an off phase?

      Alternatively get your fella to propose to you.  Fiance status should be sufficient for an invite and would provide some sort of direction to what sounds like a rather whimsical relationship.

    • Samuel says:

      03:08pm | 28/09/12

      “On again off again”.

      That’s the deal breaker right there. You shouldn’t even ask.

    • che says:

      03:12pm | 28/09/12

      This happened to me but it wasn’t an ‘on-off boyfriend’, it was my partner who I was living with. I rang and asked, felt bad but he was really dissapointed not to come. She squeezed him in, and then when we went realised that she had put me at the ‘singles’ table. I was actually a little hurt. This is why I hate weddings and will never have one of my own. Just elope it’s so much easier.

    • dave says:

      03:16pm | 28/09/12

      In my house we work on the theory that the cost of the wedding gift is roughly the same as the cost of the reception. If your friend is spending $200 per head on your seat, you’re in for $200 in a present, ditto, if you bring your ‘on again off again’, then you’re up for $400.
      then you can really decide if youre that upset that he didn’t get an invite..

      its not just a free night out for the two of you

      that being said, i wouldn’t ask, and you’re probably a terrible human being for even considering it smile

    • Cynicised says:

      03:23pm | 28/09/12

      Who invites someone to their wedding without a “plus one” anyway? I consider it rude not to factor in a companion by the bride and groom. What if this person only knows the couple, or is shy in the company of strangers, but still wants to attend? I say definitely ask.

    • Sue says:

      03:27pm | 28/09/12

      Ask if you can take your friend and offer to pay the extra

    • d&s says:

      03:30pm | 28/09/12

      How rude are you? If your shag was invited, his name would have been on the invite. I’d also hardly call him a ‘partner’ given you’ve described him as a 6 month on-off relationship - that’s a shag, not a partner.
      If you’re rude enough to ask, be prepared to be embarrassed by the answer.

      People like you make planning a wedding a bloody nightmare. Having organised my wedding 18 months ago, there is no way in hell someone’s temporary shag would have been on the invite list, especially for $150 a seat!

    • Freeman says:

      04:21pm | 28/09/12

      ” I’ve been in an on-again, off-again kind of relationship for the past six months but would really like to bring my partner”“

      What for? to show off??

      It’s not your day!!

    • Canberra girl says:

      04:38pm | 28/09/12

      No - don’t ask. Its rude and immature.

      Having been in this situation, the bride and groom have probably agonised for months over the guest list, trying to fit all of their nearsest and dearest into a limited list. Obviously your ‘sometime’ partner didnt make the cut.

      Costs aside, we only wanted people at our wedding who were a speacial part of our lives, and would continue to be so.

    • Cath says:

      07:23pm | 28/09/12

      GET THAT APOSTROPHE OUT OF DILEMMAS AT ONCE.  SHAME ON YOU PUNCH TEAM.  And you might not even be going out with the on-again off-again by December.  Just go by yourself.


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